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Nightmares were just part of the job description when you were a superhero. From the ones where Shadow Moth showed up at her doorstep demanding for her miraculous, to the ones where Alya had betrayed her and stolen the box right out from under her nose, to the ones where she woke up in her own bed, seemingly normal, with a stranger in a black cat suit crying in front of her, nightmares were a constant whenever Marinette got some shut eye.
It was hard to rank them, none of them were fun and all of them left her in a panicked state when she woke up, but there was one that was much more emotionally taxing than the rest. Dreams where Alya betrayed her could be easily refuted by a simple phone call. The ones where she lost her memories or Shadow Moth showed up could leave her mind after talking to Tikki. Because even though she worried about those things, and even if they haunted her as the moon arose, they weren’t real.
They were only sick scenarios her anxiety came up with to add to the never ending fear that came with the job description. A fun house mirror of what reality could become if she wasn’t careful. They were ominous warnings, always reminding her to watch her step. Yet, if Marinette thought they were true, the illusion could break easily. Reality met and clashed with her fears and came out victorious time and time again. Cruel fantasies made by her brain playing tricks on her, but they were just that, fantasies.
That couldn’t be said about the nightmare that left her a shambles. The one that, even after phone calls and midnight talks, kept her wide awake until sunrise. The one that played again, again, and again in her memories long after she opened her eyes.
Because while the others hadn’t happened yet, and most likely never will, this one had. Her imagination didn’t have to play a part in getting her to wake up in tears. Only her memories did.
Memories of a tarnished world, flooded and empty. Memories of a moon in pieces, permanently stuck above a city she had once called her home. Memories of touching a face identical to hers and having it crumble until nothing remained.
Memories of the one she trusted most, bathed in white, chasing after her, crying out her real name. Begging, pleading, sobbing for her to give him what she never could. A broken heart, the last that remained in a broken world.
Certainly, the nightmares where Chat Blanc chases after her, tears streaming down his face as he tells her that they were in love were the worst she ever had.
Which is why she should have expected this. It was stupid, really, split second of hesitation was all it took for her to get hit. In a single moment, her world crumpled before her eyes yet again.
And there was nothing she could do about it.
Ladybug was vaguely aware of Chat Noir’s worried cry and Sandboy’s victorious laugh. It slowly registered that she had gotten hit. A nightmare of hers would come to life, but which one would it be?
Would she lose her powers again? What about her memories? Would Alya show up mid battle claiming her allegiance to Shadow Moth? What if-.
Dread ran through her blood, cold and dark.
‘Please, no. Anything but that, anything but him.’ Ladybug pleaded with whoever was listening.
No such luck.
“Why hello there, My Lady.”
Her blood turned to ice as the normally affectionate nickname filled the air.
“No, no, no, no, no.” She closed her eyes, still sitting in the middle of the street.
“Ladybug, what is that thing?” She heard her partner, her Chat Noir, cry, landing next to her.
“What, don’t recognize your own face?” The voice seemed to be coming from a rooftop above them. Ladybug couldn’t bring herself to look up. She only leaned down, putting her head between her arms.
“Who…?” She heard Chat Noir begin to ask, but suddenly stopped as the horror jumped from the rooftop to the street. “What the? Bugaboo, what’s going on?”
She shook her head. As much as she wanted to, she didn’t dare answer Chat Noir’s question because that would mean facing the harsh reality.
“Look at you, so naive. You have no clue what’s going on right beneath your nose.” The nightmare sneered.
“Who are you?” Ladybug saw Chat Noir’s feet as he went to stand in front of her. “And what do you want?”
“Who am I?” She could hear the sinister grin that haunted her night after night. “Did you precious partner never tell you about us? About me? I guess she trusts you as much as she trusted me.” He laughed bitterly. “Which to say, isn’t much.”
Ladybug waited for the rebuttal, for Chat Noir to tell him that it was them against the world. That even though they had to keep some things a secret, their partnership was one of a kind. Something special, something unbreakable.
It never came.
“Just answer the question.” He said instead, making Ladybug’s heart crack even further.
Did he really not know how much he meant to her? How much she would do for him? Sure, maybe he had been taking a backseat in recent fights, and maybe there had been more and more temporary heroes helping out instead of him, but he was irreplaceable! Carapace wasn’t her partner, Viperion wasn’t her partner, hell, even Rena Furtive had nothing on the two of them! Hadn’t she told him that?
“Fine. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Out of the two of us, you were always a stickler for the rules, weren’t you,”
Pure horror ran through her as she realized what he was about to say. Putting aside the effects of being akumatized, there was one clear cut difference between that Chat and hers.
He knew. And that?
That was terrifying.
‘No, God please, no, not this, anything but this, please, please, please, don’t say it, don’t say-.’
“Marinette.”
She heard Chat Noir’s baton clatter to the floor as dread filled her.
“What?” He breathed.
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot. You didn’t know that either. Oh well. To put it simply, I am you. I’m just superior in every way.” The nonchalance in his voice was off putting, even for her.
Gone was the kitten who had pleaded with her for her miraculous. Gone were the tears, the sorrow, the sadness. All that remained was anger. A need for revenge after being stepped upon time after time again.
“Because you see,” His voice came closer. “You know nothing.” Bitterness filled his voice, but Ladybug couldn’t tell who it was meant for. “But me? I know everything. I am burdened with knowledge you could only ever wish to achieve. Like how the girl you’re defending without even questioning it has lied to you again, and again, and again. Or your father, our father.” His voice turned even colder.
“What about him?” Chat Noir bent down, picking his baton back up.
“He lied to you about everything. Everything! About mom’s disappearance, about what he does in the day, about why he shuts it out.” He began to laugh, but it wasn’t the laugh Ladybug had come to associate with her kitty. No, it was a laugh filled with torment, rage, and depression. “Everything you think you know is a lie!” Ladybug heard him turn, probably towards Sandboy. “You tell him I’m coming, and when I’m finished, there won’t be anything left.” Chills ran down her spine.
If he were akumatized, then wouldn’t he want to do whatever Hawkmoth said? Not threatening to kill him? What about getting their miraculouses? Wasn’t that supposed to be his goal, that’s what it was last time? And what he said about his father… Ladybug had put the pieces together long ago that Chat Noir had a less than ideal home life, but just how bad was it? Had he seriously meant it when he told her that battling akumas were the best parts of his life? He wasn’t just being dramatic?
It was her own damn fault. If only she hadn’t been so strict, then he wouldn’t have been suffering like this in silence. Some partner she was! Damn secret identities.
Oh God, secret identities….
“I’ll be back to deal with you and to collect my precious princess later.” The nightmare turned back towards them before miraculously leaving.
He knew. Chat Noir knew that she was Marinette! And if Sandboy had been in listening proximity, so did Hawkmoth! Oh God, oh God. She wasn’t safe. The miracle box wasn’t safe. She’d have to give up the guardianship and forget everything. Everything about Tikki, about Ladybug, about her best friend. Bile rose up in her throat.
She didn’t even realize she was shaking until she tried to stand up and promptly collapsed in Chat Noir’s arms. Of course, even as she let him down time after time again, he would be there for her. She could cry. She was crying.
She heard Chat swear under his breath, taking a quick glance at Sandboy, who had moved on since the nightmare had left the scene.
“Come on, let’s get you out of here.” He said softly, only causing her to cry harder into his shoulder.
She didn’t deserve him.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I’m so, so, sorry.”
“Shh, it’s okay. I’ll take care of this. I just need you to use your lucky charm. Can you do that for me?” He set her down gently on a nearby rooftop. “You don’t even have to fight him, I won’t let him lay a finger on you. Just use your power so we can use the miracle cure, okay?”
She nodded and called for her lucky charm. The mirror fell into her lap and she handed it to Chat Noir.
“I’ll be back, hopefully I can lure the akuma over to you if not, well, I’ve never used my power on one before. Maybe that’ll work.” He grinned, a sight that made her feel like, at least for one moment, everything would turn out okay. “But afterwards, I think we owe it to each other to talk about this, okay?”
“Okay.” She whispered, her voice hoarse.
“I’ll be back before you know it, my lady.” He picked up her hand and kissed it, a sense of normalcy when everything’s been turned on its head. “Wait, one last thing before I go.” Ladybug raised an eyebrow. “Here.” He opened up his pocket and pulled out a small charm bracelet. The one she had given him for the one year anniversary of them being superheroes. “I’ll be right back.” With a wink and a wave, he leapt away, mirror in hand.
The moments that followed were some of the most nerve wracking in her entire life. Just her, on a rooftop in Paris, alone, as Chat Blanc roamed the city, apparently battling with Hawkmoth. Did that mean he knew his secret identity? And could that be related to his father apparently lying?
Dots connected faster than Ladybug wanted them to. About Chat’s father, about his mother, about the story Chat Blanc had told her when they first fought. What if? No, that was crazy! But what if?
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”
Just when she was letting her guard down, of course that’s when he would show up. Standing up on shaky legs, Ladybug grasped her yo-yo.
“Did your knight finally leave you alone?” Chat Blanc grinned, making him look even more unhinged. “Good. I was hoping to get you alone.”
“What are you going to d-do?” She tried her hardest to keep the tremor out of her voice, but failed.
“Don’t worry, Marinette, I could never hurt you.” He began to walk towards her.
“Don’t come a step closer!”
He sighed.
“I suppose I deserve that reaction. I didn’t mean to scare you earlier, but seeing him just bought out an ugly side of me.” He sat down in front of her. “I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe and sound, there’s no reason for me to take your miraculous.”
“I don’t trust you.”
“Yeah,” He snorted. “I wouldn’t trust me either.”
“For an akumatized villain, you seem rather sane.”
“I just realized that what I want couldn’t be gained by violence.”
“And what is it that you want, Chat Blanc?” Ladybug kept her yo-yo spinning, but if she could get some answers out of him…
“A second chance. A father who decided to grieve normally instead of becoming a national terrorist.”
Ladybug sucked in a sharp breath.
“Does that mean…”
“Yup. I know last time we met I told you that you broke my heart, and you did Marinette, you shattered it into pieces.”
“I’m-.”
He held up his hand.
“But you didn’t want to. My father made you, threatened to take me out of school and cut everyone out of my life if you didn’t. I didn’t understand at the time, but…” He shook his head. “What he’s done is unforgivable. That’s why I’m like this.”
“That’s why you got akumatized?”
He nodded.
“My father locked me out after my mother disappeared. Kept everything from me, everything. I had no idea what had happened to her, why he always shut me out.” He sniffed. “Secrets have always been a part of my life, I guess that’s why I accepted so easily when you kept everything from me, too.” Her heart shattered as his words hit her like a bullet.
“I didn’t want to get akumatized, I tried so hard, but” He choked back tears. “In the end, I guess it didn’t matter.” A single tear ran down his mask. “I wasn’t strong enough to fight back against him when I was like that. I wasn’t strong enough to listen to you and not give in. What a naive child I was. I didn’t understand what he had done to me, to us, to her. The damage he did was irreparable.” He shook his head.
“Chat…” Her heart ached.
“But I digress, what’s in the past is in the past and now my wish has been granted. I have a second chance now, and I plan to use it to my advantage. I don’t have to hold back because I’m scared of what would happen. I’m not bound to some moral code he drilled into my head. Don’t you see, Marinette? I’m free! Free to do whatever I want, and no rule or code can stop me. Finally, after all this time I can make him suffer the same way he made me suffer.” He grinned. “But before I go and find my father and put an end to him, I thought I would clear some stuff up.” Chat Blanc stood up, preparing to leave. She could’ve stopped him, she should’ve stopped him. Yet, her feet remained glued to the rooftop as he shot her one last smile, all too reminiscent to the one he wore as Chat Noir.
“More than anything, I’m just glad you're safe, Marinette” The look he gave her almost made her believe that he was her partner. If he, you know, hadn’t threatened to kill his father two moments ago. “I hope we get a chance to talk more later. Love you forever, my lady.” He said before jumping off the roof.
Ladybug was frozen to the spot. What just happened? He hadn’t gotten akumatized because of their love? Knowing her identity wasn’t the reason the world had ended? What the hell was all of her reluctance for then? All the secrecy, all the lies, all the times she wished she could’ve let him in… was it all for nothing?
His father was Hawkmoth! What type of person was she?
A minute later, Chat Noir, her precious kitten who didn't deserve any of this, appeared before her.
“One akuma for purrification, my lady.” He winked, but Ladybug couldn’t bring herself to smile.
This boy who was always smiling, always laughing, always kept in the dark. By his father, who was Hawkmoth, and by her, someone who was supposed to be there no matter what.
Ladybug knew she should’ve focused on getting the purple butterfly fluttering in a jar that Chat Noir had found. Instead, she tackled him in hug.
“Woah!” He cried.
“Kitty! I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry, about everything. I’m such an awful partner and I’ve been just terrible to you these past few months. I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve any of this.” She rambled.
“Hey, hey, Princess, get the akuma and do your cure, then we can talk, okay?” He drew back from her carefully, grabbing her shoulders.
The nickname caught her off guard. Right, in all of the craziness, she had almost forgotten. Chat Noir knew now. There was no reason to hide things from him.
‘Not that there was before.’ She thought bitterly. What an idiot she had been.
“Okay.” She whispered, pulling out her yo-yo and turning the purple butterfly into a white one. Then, she threw her lucky charm into the air as the miracle cure flew all around them, getting rid of everyone’s nightmares. Including hers.
“Do you feel better now?” He asked. She nodded.
“Can I get my hug now?” She asked, her voice cracking.
“Of course, my lady.”
His arms wrapped around her and just like that, all her worries disappeared. Nothing mattered when she was safe and in the arms of someone who loved her. Someone who she loved. She couldn’t care about anything else but the feeling of safety and comfort she got whenever they were like this. How could one person make her feel like this? Absolutely soothe her worries no matter how much they had gotten into her head. That all went away when she was with him. They didn’t hug each other enough, in her opinion. That was another thing she would have to change.
“I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry.” She sobbed into his shoulder.
“About what?”
“Everything. For shutting you out, for never being there for you, for keeping all these secrets from you, I’m the worst.”
“Thank you.” He whispered, sitting them down on the rooftop. “But you aren’t the worst. I’m not going to lie, I feel like ever since you’ve become the guardian there’s been a wedge between us. It’s been sucky, sometimes I feel like I’m not even your partner anymore.”
“Of course you are! I’m sorry I haven’t done a good job of doing that. I’ve just been so scared of letting you in, terrified that he would come back.”
“You mean your nightmare?”
Ladybug nodded, burying her face into the crook of Chat Noir’s neck.
“Who was he? You don’t have to tell me everything, especially if it’s too hard, but…”
“No, no, I’ll tell you. It’s time you learned anyway.” She pulled back, taking a deep breath and wiping her tears away. “Do you remember Saint Athanasius Day?” He nodded. “Well, Bunnyx came to me and she brought me to this future. That’s where I met him.” Ladybug sniffled.
“It was awful, Chat. The entirety of Paris was flooded, the Eiffel Tower was knocked over, everything was in ruin. And there he was, sitting on top of the Montparnasse tower, swinging his legs and singing that song. You know, the ‘little kitty on the roof’ one?” Chat nodded.
“Yeah.” He said quietly.
“He at first seemed somewhat friendly, at least not hostile. But then,” A sob cut her off.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to-.”
“Yes, Chat, I do. He attacked me.” She felt her partner take in a sharp breath. “And then he called me by my name. My real name. He told me that I broke his heart and that our love destroyed the world.”
“Our love?” He whispered.
“Apparently we were together.” Ladybug tried to shrug but couldn’t bring herself to. “I thought for the longest time that was why you got akumatized. You figured out my identity, we got together, and then something happened. Something that caused the end of the world. That’s why I never,” She buried her face into his chest, squeezing him tighter.
“That’s why you never let me in.” He finished her sentence. She nodded.
“I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry. I couldn’t bear to see you hurt like that, kitty. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I promise I’ll never do it again.”
“Thank you for telling me, Ladybug.” Chat Noir began to stroke her hair. “I can’t imagine how hard that was.”
“It was terrible. I couldn’t bear seeing the one I love in that much pain.”
“Hey, I’m right here now. I’m okay, I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed the top of her head. Ladybug felt a wave of relief wash over her, he wasn’t going to comment on her feelings.
“You promise?”
“I promise. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be afraid to confide in me when you need to, okay? I know there’s gotta be more than just heartbreak to why I got akumatized.”
Ladybug felt her heart stop.
“Chat…” She took in a long breath. “I know why you got akumatized, and it’s, well, I don’t know if you’re ready to hear it.”
“What do you mean?”
Ladybug gulped. He looked so confused, so innocent. He didn’t deserve this. Out of everyone in Paris, why did Hawkmoth have to turn out to be his father? Chat Noir was one of the kindest souls she knew, how could he have come from someone so terrible?
“Chat Blanc saw me again while you were fighting with Sandboy.”
“Chat Blanc? That was his name?” Chat shook his head. “Wait, that’s not important. What did he say to you? He didn’t hurt you, right?”
“No, kitty, he didn’t hurt me.” Ladybug gave him a watery smile. “He told me the real reason he got akumatized.”
Chat squeezed her, prompting her to continue. “It wasn’t about us, never was. It was about his father. Your father.”
Chat sucked in a hard breath.
“He did say something about that. About him lying about my mom, and the reason she disappeared.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ladybug asked quietly.
“I wasn’t allowed, LB.”
Anger spiked through her at her past self, yet again. Her precious kitten had been hurting, and what had she done about it? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! It would do no good to try and prevent him from being akumatized if she treated him like that!
“Well now you are. You can tell me anything, Chat Noir. Screw our secret identities.”
“Wow.” He breathed, his eyes sparkling. “I never thought I’d see the day when Ladybug dissed having secret identities.”
“Well, it’s kinda a moot point now, isn’t it?” She gestured to herself, who had changed back sometime while she was talking about Chat Blanc.
“Maybe just a tad bit, Marinette.” He placed a hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.
“Can you call me that again?”
“Marinette.”
“Again.” She demanded, placing her hand on his.
“Hi, Marinette.”
“Hi, Chat Noir.” She squeezed his hand, opening her eyes. She leaned forward, giving him a kitten kiss. “Now, what about your mother? You can tell me as much as you want.”
“About a month before Hawkmoth showed up, she disappeared. She was sick, you know? Coughing, dizzy spells, fainting, things like that. But one day she was there, the next, she was gone. My father didn’t tell me anything, police searched for months, but she was never found. My father has never been the kindest man, but since she disappeared he has turned cruel. He never talks to me, hell, I have to schedule appointments to see him! He keeps me locked up in that damn mansion, never letting me see my friends. The only reason I was placed in school was because I ran away on the first day!”
Marinette sucked in a harsh breath. This story was sounding familiar, oh so familiar, and it made her heart hurt even more.
“Adrien?” She whispered, before she could stop herself.
A flash of green later, the boy who had stolen her heart all months ago sat before her.
“Hey Marinette.”
Tears bubbled up in her eyes. She had been so incredibly stupid. They had been dancing around each other for so long! If only she hadn’t been so strict, they could’ve saved themselves so much pain and heartbreak. She had always assumed he went home to a kind and loving family, like her, but no. The world was cruel.
“Adrien!” She threw her arms around him again, pulling him to her. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry. You don’t deserve this. You don’t, you don’t.” She sobbed.
“Marinette, hey, it’s okay. My family situation sucks, I’m not going to lie and say that it doesn’t but it could be worse! I could be Hawkmoth’s son.” He grinned, but she only cried harder. “That was a joke, Marinette.” He said, running his hands up and down her back.
“But Adrien,” she whispered. “Is it really?” She felt his hands stop, heard his breathing halt, heard his heartbeat as it got faster, and faster, and faster…
“Marinette, what are you saying?” He choked out.
“I’m sorry, Adrien, I’m so sorry.”
“No.” He whispered. “No, it can’t be! It can’t be. No.” Marinette felt his tears before she heard them.
“He said that was the reason you got akumatized. I’m so sorry Adrien, you don’t deserve this. You’re so kind, so good. I don’t understand how he could do something like this. I know it’s hard to believe, but-.”
“No.” His voice was harsh. “It’s not. I can’t believe I didn’t see this earlier.” He scoffed. “My father being Hawkmoth? I mean, you even suspected it once before, right? It makes sense. All the absences, all the lies, everything! It makes too much sense.” He shook his head.
“Adrien, I’m so sorry.” Marinette hugged him, letting him cry into his shoulder.
“Yeah, so am I.” His arms came up to hold her. “That man is despicable, he needs to go down.”
“Adrien…”
“On the brightside, he doesn’t know your identity.”
“What?” Marinette gaped. “How’d you figure that out?”
“While I was fighting Sandboy, I heard him arguing with Hawkmoth. I think he wanted Sandboy to go after Chat Blanc to try and get information out of him, he wouldn’t do that if he knew your identity. My guess is that Chat Blanc was loud enough for Hawkmoth to know he knew, but not too loud so it gave you away.”
“Oh thank the Lord. That gives us time.” Marinette placed a hand on her cheek. “We’ll get him, okay? We just need a plan and then we’ll go storm that mansion. Take both him and Mayura down. I promise.”
“I know we will.” Adrien picked up her hand and placed a kiss on it. “We’ll go and give them hell.” He placed his forehead on hers.
“Absolutely we will. We just need to gather the team and then bam! He won’t know what hit him.” That got a chuckle out of him. “He’ll learn his lesson about messing with Ladybug’s Chat Noir.”
“And messing with Chat Noir’s Ladybug.” Adrien said. Marinette felt the blush rise to her cheeks, but now wasn’t the time to address their feelings. That would come later, when they were both in a better headspace.
They stayed there, resting their foreheads against each other and relishing in the comfort each other brought. Both of them were hurting, albeit for different reasons, but with each other, they felt like they could do anything. They could face anyone. Recovery from Chat Blanc and from Hawkmoth would be a bitch, but they had each other. They would face it together, just like so many other things. It wouldn’t be easy, far from it in fact, but knowing that someone had your back no matter what the world threw at you made things a bit easier. After all, that’s what being partners was all about right? Sticking with each other through the good and the bad.
And like hell were Marinette and Adrien going to let each other go.
“Come home with me.” Marinette suddenly spoke up.
“Huh?” Adrien opened his eyes to see hers, blazing with compassion.
“My parents will happily take you in. There’s no way I’m letting you go back to that hellhole anymore. Especially now that we know.” She grabbed his hand. “You’re my partner, Adrien. I’m not letting you deal with this alone.”
“I don’t want to be a burden.” Adrien said nervously. Marinette’s jaw dropped.
“A burden? You’re never a burden! Look, if I know that you’re back in that mansion, then I won’t be able to sleep. I’ll fall asleep in class and won’t be able to focus.” She pouted. “You don’t want that to happen, right?”
Adrien sighed.
“You are so not being fair right now.” He groaned.
“All’s fair in love and war kitty.” Marinette giggled. “But seriously Adrien, I’d be worried sick about you. My parents would understand completely if you couldn’t go back there, and look on the bright side.”
“Oh? What’s this bright side?”
“If you spend the night with me, I’ll give you all the cuddles you could possibly imagine.” Adrien’s eyes lit up.
“Really?”
“But of course, kitty! Didn’t you know? Cuddles reduce stress, and I think a little less stress is something the both of us need right now.” She winked. “So what do you say?” She stood up and held out her hand towards him. “Come home, please.”
“Okay, Marinette, I’ll go.” He placed his hand in hers.
“Thank you.” She whispered. “You don’t know how much I…”
“Yeah, me too.” Adrien’s eyes sparkled, knowing exactly what she was about to say.
She gave him a soft smile and a quick peck on the cheek, which of course made him a blushing mess.
And after a quick transformation, they headed off towards an uncertain future.
Nothing was certain, things could either go incredibly well or catastrophically bad. They had no idea how things would work, or even if they were going to. Everything was up in the air, ready for debate, and unprepared. They had no clue how things would proceed from here, but they knew one thing.
Whatever happened with Hawkmoth, with Paris, with them, they would face it together.
As it always should’ve been and always will be.