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Techno wakes up to a cold bed and an intense sense of dread.
He doesn’t sit up or open his eyes immediately, just takes a moment to feel around the bed. When he doesn’t find anyone with him, he opens his eyes, frowning at the empty sheets around him.
After a moment, he makes himself sit up, letting out a soft groan and scanning the room around him. The curtains are drawn, leaving the room under a cloud of grey darkness and forcing Techno to blink for a few moments.
Once his eyes are used to the gloom, he clambers out of bed. He considers putting on a shirt, but it’s only him and Dream in the house, and Techno is much too lazy to dig through the shared drawer of shirts.
The room is dark and he has to squint even after he’s used to it, occasionally tripping on things and knocking over a stack of books that either Dream or Techno left out. He doesn’t remember who half of the stuff is, and his heart burns at the very idea. It’s terribly obviously their shared space, and that has never made him more sad.
As the anguish occurs to him, the dread begins to set off bells in his mind all over again, and he starts to move quicker. The light is on in the hall and there’s sunlight coming from downstairs, which feels reassuring, but he still keeps up the rush as he follows the light to the kitchen.
Dream stands in the kitchen, staring woefully into the open fridge. He almost looks like he’s floating, feet near invisible and just stable enough to keep him standing. His fingers are pretty much gone, as are most of his ears and the end of his nose - the little bits of them left fade into the open air, looking almost like Dream is coming apart. Techno supposes he sort of is.
Despite the disheartening sight, it relieves Techno, and he walks up behind his lover so that he can slot his hands over Dream’s waist. The man gives a sad smile, leaning back against Techno so that his head flops back over Techno’s shoulder, golden hair brushing his bare back.
“Today’s the day,” Dream says, voice almost a whisper. Techno strokes his side gently.
“Today’s the day,” Techno echoes, and presses a kiss to Dream’s cheek.
Techno has thought about this again and again, attacked it from every angle, and no matter how he figures it out, today is always the day. He knows he can’t be wrong about things like this, but just for once, he wishes he could be. He wants longer with Dream - he wants forever with Dream.
“What time?” Dream asks, even though he knows the answer. He’s been there when Techno considers.
“Nine fifty-four p.m.,” Techno answers dutifully. Dream doesn’t want this any more than Techno does.
“It’s eleven in the morning now.” Dream informs with a tiny nod. Techno swallows around the number when it sticks in his throat. Less than twelve hours. “Do you have any new plans, or are we just doing the thing you said before?”
Neither of them could think of a good thing to do today, so Techno had decided it was smarter to just stay in. He’d bought ice cream and candy and other terrible snacks under the instructions of Dream, and Dream had lined up several of their favorite movies. Both of them wanted to be able to do something special, something active and fun - a duel, maybe - but they both knew Dream would be too far gone for that.
Dream had spent the day before wishing everyone a goodbye and a good life full of the prayers he could never achieve while he was still here. Of course, he wouldn’t truly be gone, but when they all considered it properly, it was almost perfectly synonymous with death.
Here’s the thing. Gods are made from worship. They need it like anything mortal needs food and air and water. Where mortal’s physical bodies slowly grow up through the consumption of food and the practice of various activities, gods get stronger and stay stable through the worship of the very same mortals.
But without those things that made you real, those essentials that built up your body and brain and life, you pass away. For mortals, your consciousness rejoins the Stream and you become something else, body moving into some other plane or turning into something new for the world to use.
For gods, you lose the ability to ever hold sentient physical form. You become nothing but instinct, there to ensure things couldn’t go wrong among your born area of expertise but unable to do anything more. You could no longer speak or think or feel anything properly - it’s essentially death. There isn’t a better way to describe it.
(Some of the older gods try to sugarcoat it - they call it ‘Becoming’ or ‘Changing,’ but everyone knows what it truly is. It’s the disappearance of your very self, the thing that makes you anything but a concept.)
So, gods need worship. Unfortunately, some gods are considerably less well known, and even if they were known, they weren’t appreciated. Techno is fairly sure the only reason Dream is still hanging on is because people knew he was alive - and that wouldn’t last much longer.
In fact, it would end at nine fifty-four p.m. that day. It would leave Techno without the love of his eternal life. It would leave Dream as nothing but a presence. It would leave both of them alone once again - but Dream wouldn’t be able to feel it, because Dream wouldn’t be able to feel anything.
Dream is, funnily enough, the god of dreams. Techno is the god of strategy. They had fallen in love millennia ago and met even further before. Time stretched like taffy for gods, long enough that Techno doesn’t remember how long ago he’d been created. Dream doesn’t remember either, but they’re both sure he’s older.
The god of strategy is well appreciated - hundreds of shrines, well taken care of and frequently prayed at. People know Techno, people need him and ask him for his fortune and beg him for his help with this and that and everything in between. People worship Techno.
People don’t know Dream. Some of them still knew of him, of course - there was rarely a concept without a god to follow it - but most mortals are under the impression his job is watched over by the god of sleep, George. Most of Dream’s temples are covered with moss and vines. He hasn’t been prayed to in upward of a decade, let alone given an offering.
And Dream... Dream is fading. His physical form is slowly vanishing from the ends first - he’s barely stable enough to hold himself up most days. He can’t hold anything properly anymore, and his nose and ears are going as well. He can still smell and hear, thankfully, but it doesn’t work properly as it should.
Like Techno said before, he thinks Dream’s only still here because people know he exists, and that number has dwindled for hundreds of thousands of years. Which brings them to today, the day that the last person forgets the stories of Dream and his father and mother, the god of sleep and the goddess of night.
Techno has gone over how long it will take for Dream to vanish again and again. Ever a proud man, Techno has never wished to be wrong before - but gods, what he wouldn’t give to get it incorrect. Just once, he wants to defy his own nature.
Because Dream is going to fade today, and Techno can do nothing about it.
Techno is pulled from his train of thoughts when Dream’s feet become too unstable to hold him up. He nearly drops, letting out a choked little sound as he starts to fall, but Techno catches him just before his knees hit the ground. Techno hefts Dream up, tugging him against his chest so that he’s in a half-bridal carry. It’s sort of awkward, but neither of them cares.
“I’ll make breakfast,” Techno offers, and Dream nods. “D’you want me to put you in the dinin’ room or the livin’ room?”
“Can you drag a chair in here?” Dream asks instead, voice soft. “I want to sit with you.”
Techno’s heart burns, chest tightening around the words. This is the last time they will be together. These are their final moments, the end of Dream and the end of everything they had between them. “Of course,” Techno chokes out.
After a moment, Techno sits Dream down on the counter. He retrieves a stool from their connected dining room and sits it back against the wall so that Dream can lean back if he wants, then moves his lover so that he’s seated on the stool.
Dream watches silently as Techno pulls food from their cabinets, an imitation of a domestic morning. Neither of them needs to eat, not really, but both of them enjoy it immensely - mortals have created some amazing food in the many years they’ve been alive. It’s much better than the lack of consummation.
Dream likes the feeling of chewing, of things crunching in his jaw as if he could eat and act like a typical mortal human, Techno’s mind offers. Techno tells his mind to shut the fuck up and let him cook.
Techno lets his brain turn off as best it can as he makes breakfast. Eggs and pancakes on normal ceramic plates, orange juice in boring plastic cups, butter in a little glass dish. It almost feels like a normal morning, sleepy and soft between them. Techno tries not to let the negativity creep up too far - he doesn’t want to mourn before his lover is gone.
Dream doesn’t try to start another conversation, something that makes Techno feel both guilty and happy. He doesn’t know how well he’d be able to keep up the conversation without starting to sob, but he wants to speak to his beloved - he doesn’t want to have the day go on like this, uncomfortable silences that hold heavy promises of what’s to come.
Techno sets the table in the same silence, then walks up to Dream. “Can I pick you up again so I can bring you over there?”
If this were a normal day, Dream would regain the stability in his feet fairly quickly, and he’d be back up and moving again quickly. But this isn’t a normal day, and anything that fades today is going to stay gone.
If this were a normal day, Dream would regain the stability in his feet fairly quickly, and he’d be back up and moving again quickly. But this isn’t a normal day, and anything that fades today is going to stay gone.
Dream gives a little nod, clinging to Techno’s neck as Techno brings him over to their table. Techno keeps his head down, staring at his own food for a minute before Dream speaks up. His voice cracks as he talks. “Tech-Techno?”
“Hm?” Techno looks up to Dream. His hand is hovering over his fork awkwardly, and Techno is suddenly aware of how gone Dream’s fingers are - he can’t feed himself anymore, and Techno had absolutely forgotten. A deep burn runs through his chest. “Fuck - fuck, sorry. Do you want me to feed you? Do you want to eat?”
Dream shrugs and Techno thinks there might be tears in his eyes. He manages to steady his voice when he speaks again, though. “Could you feed me, maybe?”
“Of course, lovely. Anythin’ you ask of me.” Techno pulls his plate to the other side of the table and stands. He picks up Dream and sits where the blonde was a moment ago, then sets Dream on his lap.
Dream gives a little sigh. Techno can’t tell if it’s sadness or relief, but he wraps an arm tight around Dream’s chest and picks up Dream’s fork. Cautiously, he feeds Dream a little egg and then eats some of his own food, until they’ve figured out a little back and forth system that relies on Techno.
“D’you need anythin’ else?” Techno asks. “Can I do anythin’ more?”
Dream shrugs. “I don’t think so. I’ve got you, after all.”
Techno scoffs as he smiles. “Simp.”
“Excuse you!” Dream snaps, grinning right back. “You’re the one carrying me around and cooking for me and feeding me. I think we both know who the real simp is here.”
“Of course,” Techno agrees amicably. “It’s you.”
Dream groans loudly and lets Techno shove a bite of egg in his mouth. A knot loosens in Techno’s chest at the half-stifled smile.
Breakfast goes by quickly, joined by a few more snippets of talk and a much lighter silence. It seems like they’ve both moved onto ignoring what’s going to happen in - in less than half a day. Techno checks the time as discreetly as he can - just about twelve in the morning. It gives them ten hours.
They slide into the nest that was made a few days ago next. Techno sits on the blankets they’ve laid on the ground, and Dream lays on top of him. It’s a welcome weight on Techno’s chest, and he tugs blankets over them to fight the nonexistent chill within their home.
For a while, they just sort of lay there. Techno’s pretty sure that Dream is listening to his heartbeat, some sort of reassurance. Dream used to do it more often, but he’d stopped recently - a little part of Techno wondered if it was something akin to jealousy, but he’s doing it again now.
Eventually, Techno flicks on the best piece of media humans have ever created - according to Dream - Tangled. The original story of Rapunzel was better, in Techno’s opinion, but he can definitely appreciate the new movie, especially when Dream smiles so sweetly at the romantic scenes and wheezes at the funnier ones.
Techno had gotten a horse that looked almost exactly like Max a few years ago, and Dream had begged him to name it Max for weeks. Techno had almost listened, but he decided on ‘Carl’ at the last minute.
Dream had been mad at both of them for a week.
The movie ends all too soon, and it’s already two p.m. Eight hours, Techno thinks, and tries not to remind Dream. They go back to their silence for a long, long time, long enough that Techno thinks Dream might have just fallen asleep on his chest.
Dream’s hands have faded up to his wrists when he speaks up again, and Techno can feel the lack of feet against his shins. It’s strange and it makes Techno want to gather up a hundred people so that Dream can use them to replace the body he’s losing, but it won’t help.
Eight hours.
“Tech?”
“What’s up, Dreamie?”
“Are you,” Dream pauses. “Are you gonna be alright? Without me there, I mean. I’m just so scared - for - for you and for me. I don’t have to deal with it when I go, but you’re being left behind, and I’m just-”
Techno kisses Dream gently, pausing the ramble. There was guilt bleeding heavily into Dream’s voice, and Techno doesn’t think he’s ever been angrier at mortals. Unfortunately, being mad at every single mortal in existence is going to do absolutely nothing for anyone, so he has no true way to channel his anger.
It is not Dream’s fault he is dying. He’s sick, and it’s mortality's fault because they don’t even try to worship the gods they don’t see as important. Dream is going to lose all that he is because humans can’t appreciate what they’re given, and it makes Techno want to gnash his teeth and shout.
Somewhere along the way, Dream has gained the idea that it’s his fault he’ll be leaving his family behind - his fault that he’s being killed by others. Dream feels guilty that he’s leaving Techno behind.
And Dream doesn’t have to deal with the fallout, that’s true - but he also loses his consciousness. He’s going to lose his entire being in eight hours - eight hours - and all he can think about is how Techno will feel once he leaves.
Techno kisses Dream again, then pulls the man tighter against his chest. “I love you so much, y’know that? But I’m going to be okay. Please don’t think this is your fault - please don’t spend your last hours guilty, my love. Just think about yourself, for a while.”
(The ‘while you still can’ hangs in the air between them, unspoken.)
Dream nods, burying his head in the crook of Techno’s neck and curling up further on Techno’s chest. Techno wants to absorb him, pull them even closer than they are now, but they are skin tight and together. There is no way to be closer other than to become each other.
Dream mumbles something else, and Techno flicks on another movie. He’s not really sure what he chose, but Dream seems happy enough with it, so he leaves it on and lets his mind wander.
It’s probably not a good idea to let his mind walk so far away from where he is, but all he can think of is the other option. Technically, Dream doesn’t have to end here. He wouldn’t be himself anymore, but he wouldn’t be gone .
See, this situation has happened before with other gods. Everyone knows it, and someone had to make a solution that didn’t involve the essential death of a god eventually. It doesn’t work with some gods, sure, only gods that are connected to others close enough. But that’s most gods - and Dream has the god of the moon, the god of the night, the god of sleep.
A god can transfer their job to another god, essentially removing their godhood and making them a mortal. This does mean that their memories of their past life have to be removed, as mortals aren’t allowed to have that close a perception of anything godly - it could kill them - but it means they don’t die.
Techno has tried time and time again to convince Dream to take that way out, to not die, to let himself live on - Techno has tried enough times that Dream almost agreed out of pure guilt once or twice - but Dream doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to live without his memories, the things that make up who he is.
Techno gets it, of course. It makes sense. The ways gods can die are extraordinarily similar, in the sense of losing yourself. One is just a little more obvious than the other. But he still wishes - wishes he could see Dream alive, god or-
Dream kisses Techno straight on the mouth, breaking all trains of thought and snapping Techno back to the present. Automatically, one hand comes up to cup Dream’s back and another to tangle in the blonde’s hair. Dream has one elbow tucked around the back of Techno’s neck and one arm dropped limp at his side.
After a long moment, Dream pulls away slightly so that he’s speaking against Techno’s lips. “Sorry, you were just... you looked... sorry,” he frowned, shrugging and tucking his head back against Techno’s neck.
Techno shakes his head in response. “No - thanks. Didn’t mean to go off into my head. You doin’ alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Movie’s over, though - you wanna put another one on, or are you done with these for now?”
“It’s your day, love - everythin’ is up to you.”
Dream seems to think for a moment. “Yeah, put on another - just as, like, background noise, or something.”
Techno nods and puts on the next movie on their list - Matrix, another one of Dream’s favorites. Dream opens his mouth like he’s gonna try to speak again, maybe start another conversation, but he seems to decide against it. He tucks his head back down and stares absentmindedly at the TV.
Techno can’t help but resent the awkward air that’s been hanging around. It’s obvious why it’s there - neither of them knows how to have a conversation light enough to be comfortable, and neither of them wants to have a conversation heavy enough to be realistic.
Techno is trying to respect Dream’s obvious desire not to talk about everything, but he doesn’t know what else to talk about. It’s all he can think about, all that’s been going through his mind for what must be days.
He stifles a groan and glares at the TV.
There is half an hour until Dream dies, and he is crying on Techno’s chest.
Techno hasn’t tried to move him since they got into the nest. He mentioned the idea of lunch or dinner, but Dream rejected it - he gave the excuse that he didn’t want to move, and Techno was sure that was part of it, but he knew it was really that Dream felt guilty about making Techno cook for and feed him.
But now they’re less than half an hour away, and Dream is crying, and Techno knows tears are gathering in his own eyes. There have been tears dripping onto Techno’s hair and neck for about ten minutes now, and each new drop made Techno’s arms pull tighter around Dream.
“I don’t want to leave,” Dream whimpers, and Techno’s heart shatters all over again.
“I know, love, and I am so sorry,” Techno whispers back. He places a kiss on Dream’s forehead, earning another sob.
“I’m so - so sorry, Tech, I don’t - don’t wanna leave you, don’t mean to - sorry, sorry, sorry,” something akin to begging slips from Dream’s mouth, and something other than sadness curls in Techno’s gut. He wants to tear out the throat of the mortals who have failed his beloved so utterly.
“Dream, Dream, Dream,” Techno murmurs, sitting up straighter and settling Dream better in his lap. Dream’s arms and legs are nearly entirely gone now, dissipating into the air around them and making it near impossible for Dream to properly move. “We both know it ain’t your fault, lovely. You didn’t choose this, and I know you didn’t choose this. I’m goin’ to be here until the end, okay? You don’t have to be scared for me.”
“Y-yeah I do,” Dream protests, giving a watery chuckle. “You’re gonna do something stupid once I’m gone.”
“Hey!” Techno says, pretending to glare. “I can take care of myself just fine. You only need to worry about you, alright?”
Dream nods and presses his forehead against Techno’s, lips just shy of his fellow gods. “Mm,” he agrees half-heartedly.
“I love you so much,” Techno repeats. “Forever and always. I’m here for you until the very end.”
Twenty minutes.
“Until the end,” Dream echoes, looking a little out of it. “Gods, I don’t wanna go. Make sure Sap doesn’t rip the world apart, please. And make sure George remembers to wake up sometimes, please? I want him to look at the world around him sometimes.”
“Of course,” Techno agrees. “I’ll do anythin’ you ask of me.”
“Please be careful with yourself,” Dream says. “Just - just watch out for yourself, and for your brothers. I don’t wanna - I want you to be okay without me.”
“I promise you, Dream. I promise I will pay attention to myself no matter how hard it hurts, okay? I’m goin’ to take care of myself, and I’m goin’ to make sure that everyone is okay, so - so you don’t have to worry about anythin’ else. You’ll be okay when you go. Everythin’ is taken care of, my love,” Techno assures. He doesn’t want Dream to let go yet, but he wants Dream to know that it’s okay.
Whenever he goes, he will be okay. Everyone has the support they need after he’s gone. And if they don’t, Techno will change that. Dream wants everyone to be happy - to get happier again - after he’s gone, so Techno will make sure that it happens.
Fifteen minutes.
There’s something infinitely sad about the way Dream smiles, and it makes Techno’s chest hurt. His beloved should get to smile like a normal person in love, should get to smile like he’s going to be here for years beyond. But he’s dying in Techno’s arms, and Techno can’t change a single bit of it.
Techno’s own tears are flowing freely down his cheeks now, dripping down his chin and joining Dream where they land on his chest. Dream is sobbing again, loud and clear and the very fabric of the air feels like it agrees with their deep melancholy. Techno strokes his hair, his back, his sides.
Techno holds his beloved tighter and lets his eyes stray back to the clock.
Ten minutes.
Dream’s sobs have quieted down now, and he is staring listlessly at the wall. It looks like he wants to get up and pace, like he does so often when he’s spacing out, but he doesn’t have the legs to do it anymore.
All he has are the edges of what was once his legs and arms. No more of his head has gone, but both of them knew what would happen - he would fade up to the entirety of his torso and head, and then those would go too, at the same time.
Dream is so close to gone, and Techno can physically see him getting closer, and it hurts so terribly. He presses kiss after kiss to Dream’s nose and forehead and cheeks and neck and lips, because there is no other form of comfort he can offer that will truly do anything to bring his lover back to the joy that used to be so frequent.
Five.
“Tech?” Dream asks, blinking slowly out of his strange state.
“Mhm?” Techno responds, eyes fixing on the clock on the wall. It doesn’t tick.
“I love you so much. You - you know that, right?” Dream sounds almost unsure, and Techno’s gaze snaps back to his lover.
“Of course! Of course I do - and gods, I love you too. I love you so damn much. I love your smile and your laugh and your love and I love you,” Techno spits out, and he knows he’s rambling, and he knows the clock is getting too close to the end and he knows that he will not be able to hold it together when Dream is gone.
“That’s good,” Dream hums. “I really want you to remember how much I loved you.”
Tears are pouring freely again down both of their faces, and Techno pulls Dream as tight to his chest as he can possibly manage. Dream lets out an unintentional sound of distress and whines. It takes Techno a moment to realize he was trying to wipe the tears from either of their faces - trying to lift his arm.
There are thirty seconds left, and Techno kisses Dream long and hard. He tastes Dream and the salt of both of their tears, and he pulls back so that he can see Dream’s face one more time before he goes.
“Please don’t forget me,” Dream whispers, and then Techno’s arms are empty.