Work Text:
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 11:56--
TC: i AiN’t KnOwInG iF yOu’Re AlL tO bEiNg BlOcKiNg Of ThIs MoThErFuCkEr
TG: BuT dOn’T bE fAuLtInG a BrOtHeR fOr TrYiNg.
TG: ThErE’s A wHoLe MeSs Of BaD bEtWeEn Us AnD i AiN’t BeEn HoLdInG uP aNd HaNdLiNg AnY bUt…
TG: My PaLeBrO’s BeEn TuRnInG hIsSeLf CrOsSwAyS tO kEeP fRoM pIcKiNg SiDeS iN a FiGhT wHaT aIn’T eVeN gEtTiNg ItSeLf On No MoRe AnD
TG: wElL.
TG: i MeAn To Be A bEtTeR dIaMoNdBrO tHiS tImE.
TG: aNd I’m Of ThE nOtIoN tHaT i OwE yOu SoMe ToO.
TG: sO iF yOu EvEr GoT iT iN yOu To Be Of ThE cOnVeRsAtInG tYpE,
TG: i’M aRoUnD.
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 12:11--
Terezi isn’t impressed when the window expands into being on her computer screen. The purple is garish and ugly and she means to exit out of it, she really does, but somehow she just minimizes it instead. It stays on her start bar for the next few hours, distracting her and tugging at her notice like an annoying, buzzing fly.
It’s only when she’s been staring blankly at a webpage for thirty minutes that accepts that she’s not going to get anything done or accomplished unless she reads the dumb thing so, despite her fastidious ban of all things Makara, she clicks on the window again and reads whatever fucking nonsense he’s decided to dump on her now.
Her fingers brush over the keys, maybe like she’s about to reply, like she might be actually considering it, before she comes to her senses and finally closes the whole window out.
-----
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 04:20--
TC: oKaY oKaY oKaY yOu HeArD tHiS oNe?
TC: I lEt SoMe BlInD mOtHeRfUcKeR bOrRoW sOmE mOnEy.
TC: SaId He’D pAy Me BaCk NeXt TiMe He Up AnD sAw Me.
TC: HaHaHaHa YoU gEt It? He’S
TC:
TC: aW fUcK
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 4:22--
She scowls and hits the exit button with feeling.
-----
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 10:38--
TC: i AiN’t GoT nO nOtIoN hOw I’m SuPpOsEd To Do ThIs.
TC: YoU pRoBaBlY aIn’T eVeN gEtTiNg ThIs MoThErFuCkInG bUlLsHiT.
TC: aNd I aIn’T eVeN tOlD kArKaT i’M eVeN dOiNg ThIs.
TC: AnD hE’D pRoBaBlY jUsT tElL mE tO lEaVe MoThErFuCkInG wElL eNoUgH aLoNe
TC: bUt
TC: fuck
TC: maybe i just all up and miss you sometimes
TC: like the motherfucking bros as we used to be before the game screwed up our heads and i got my murder on with every bit of motherfucking abandon in this bitch
TC: so maybe if you gotta do the wicked cut off like you do, that’s cool with me.
TC: if that’s what you gotta do.
TC: you gotta take care of you.
TC: i get it.
TC: but maybe i motherfucking miss you anyway.
TC: so i hope you’re doing wickedly well, sister.
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 10:59 --
She doesn’t even hate him anymore, is the problem. Not romantically or platonically. That first ship has sailed far over the horizon by now and the second barely had a chance to get free of the docks before it sank with the end of the game and the way everything ended up playing out. So the problem is that she doesn’t hate him but she doesn’t really want to talk to him, either. She feels weirdly betrayed by him, mostly.
Still, though. Something makes her stop when he messages her. Something keeps her from just deleting his contact info and blocking him.
And then he has to go and drop his fucking quirk.
She almost lets herself fall for it. Almost. For a long moment she feels something close to platonic pity for him, and she starts to reply… but then she remembers, and she’s angry all over again. She deletes her message, and she closes the window, and then her computer, and then she storms out of the room she’s staying in and pounces on the closest Strider at hand because they’re always good for a laugh.
-----
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 6:15--
TC: YoU eVeR sEeN a HuMaN sUnRiSe NoW yOu GoT tHoSe WoRkInG pEePeRs?
TC: ShIt’S bEaUtIfUl.
TC: JuSt SaYiNg.
GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG?
TC: (&^98709796&Uhfddfs
TC:
TC: uH
TC: sUp?
GC:
GC: >:/
TC: sHiT, i’M mOtHeRfUcKiNg SoRrY.
TC: jUsT gOt The MoThErFuCkInG sHiT sCaReD oF mYsElF.
TC: yOu DiG?
TC: tErEzI?
TC:
TC: fUcK
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 7:35 --
-----
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 3:18 --
TC: So I bEeN tHiNkInG.
TC: mAyBe I OuGhTa MoThErFuCkInG fInD sOmE mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaCuLoUs ShIt fOr YoU tO aLl Up AnD gEt YoUr GaNdErS oN.
TC: lIkE I dOn’T kNoW.
TC: sOmE gOoD sHiT. lIkE tHe OcEan Or SoMeThInG.
TC: tHaT iS sTrAiGhT uP mAgIc.
GC: 1 TH1NK 1V3 H4D 3NOUGH OF M1R4CL3S 4ND M4G1C.
TC: oH.
TC: yEaH i GuEsS i FeEl yOu.
GC: DO YOU
GC: 1 C4N LOOK 4T P1CTUR3S OF THE OC34N 4NYT1M3 1 W4NT 4NYW4Y
GC: 1 H4V3 TH3 1NT3RN3T 4ND L1V3 1N HUM4N T3X4S
TC: YeAh.
TC: HuMaNs.
TC: ThEm MoThErFuCkErS aRe WeIrD aS sHiT.
TC: tHiNgS i Be LoOkInG uP aBoUt ThEm. BlOwS mY mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiNd.
TC: YoU kNoW tHeY gOt A bOoK oF cRaZy ShIt SoMe As GeTs ThEmSeLvEs Up To?
TC: AnD cRaZiEr MoThErFuCkErS bE tRyInG tO bReAk ThOsE rEcOrDs.
GC: HMM
GC: 1 TH1NK TH3 STR1D3RS US3 1T 4S TH31R R3L1G1OUS T3XT
TC:
TC: they would.
TC: mOtHeRfUcK, i JuSt FoUnD a WeBsItE oF tHeSe MoThErFuCkErS.
TC: hUh.
TC: OlDeSt MoThErFuCkEr’S oNly - WaIt I gOtTa Do ThE mAtH tHaT aIn’T rIgHt.
TC: FiFtY oNe SwEePs?
GC:
GC: WH4T? 4R3 YOU SUR3 TH4TS A R34L W3BS1T3? SOUNDS F4K3 TO M3.
TC: NaH mAn, ThIs ShIt Is LeGiT.
TC: i JuSt AsKeD tHe GoOgLe.
TC: MoThErFuCkInG gOoGlE kNoWs EvErYtHiNg HuMaN.
GC: TH4TS SHORT >:(
GC: WH4T....
GC: WH4T OTH3R R3CORDS 4R3 TH3R3?
TC: wElL. tHiS mOtHeRfUcKeR lEt HiS cLaWs Get HeLlA lOnG.
TC: NeAr HaLf HiS sIzE oN eAcH mIrAcUlOuS fInGeR.
TC: aNd ThIs TiNy MoThErFuCkEr DoN’t bUt CoMe Up To YoUr KnEe.
TC: Oh.
TC: Oh WaIt Up, ThIs Is SoMe ShIt.
TC: MoThErFuCkEr’S sPiNnInG aLl ThEsE mOtHeRfUcKiNg HoOpS.
TC: aLl ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg HoOps.
TC: http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/most-hula-hoops-spun-simultaneously/
GC: H3H3H3
GC: YOU COULD S4Y H3S B33N HOOP3D 1NTO TH1S
TC: HaHaHaHaHa. :0)
TC: ToO mOtHeRfUcKiNg RiGhT.
TC: fOrGoT hOw MuCh FuN yOu CoUlD bE.
GC:
GC: OH H4V3 1 NOT B33N 3NT34T41N1NG 3NOUGH FOR YOU R3C3NTLY
GC: 1LL TRY TO R3M3MB3R TH4T FOR N3XT T1M3
GC: UGH
TC: wAiT
TC: tHaT wAsN’T wHaT i WaS aLl Up AnD mEaNiNg!
TC: TeReZi?
TC: Aw, CoMe On.
TC: :o(
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 3:45--
-----
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 2:01 --
TC: jAnE iS tEaChInG mE tO mAkE lItTlE hUmAn CoOkIeS.
TC: tHeSe OnE’s GoT fRuItY rEd CeNtErS.
TC: i’Ll MaKe JoHn BrInG sOmE oF tHeM tO yOu WhEn He GeTs HiS vIsIt On.
-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 2:03 --
-----
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC] at 5:17 --
GC: YOUR P1T1FUL R3CONC1L14T1ON G1FTS W3R3 D3L1C1OUS
GC: THE COURT H4S T3MPOR4R1LY D3C1D3D TO R31NST4T3 YOUR COMMUN1C4T1ON PR1V1L3GES
TC: FaIrEsT dEcIsIoN i EvEr DiD gEt My HeArInG oN.
GC: COND1T1ON4LLY
TC: wHaT kInD oF mOtHeRfUcKiNg CoNdItIoNs?
GC: F1RSTLY 1 W4NT MOR3 COOK13S
GC: 3SP3C14LLY R3D ON3S
GC: L4STLY
GC: JUST B3C4US3 1M T4LK1NG TO YOU 1T DO3SNT M34N YOUR3 FORG1V3N
GC: 1LL FORG1V3 YOU WH3N 1M GOOD 4ND R34DY M4K4R4
GC: C4P1CH3?
TC:
TC: somehow i don’t think there should be much forgiving.
TC: but cookies
TC: ThOsE i CaN kEeP yOu MoThErFuCkInG sUpPlIeD wItH, mY jUdIcIoUs SiStEr.
TC: :o)
GC: W3LL
GC: SO LONG 4S YOUR3 4W4R3 OF TH4T TH3N
GC: GOOD! >:|
GC: THE COURT H4S SPOK3N
GC: DO YOU KNOW 4NY OTH3R CH3RRY R3C1P3S?
GC: 3GB3RT L3T SL1P TH4T YOU M4D3 TH3M SO NOW T4VROS 4ND 1 G3T TH3M 4LL TO OURS3LV3S
TC: I wIlL mAkE tHe MiRaClE rEd FrUiT iNtO sUcH mOtHeRfUcKiNg DeLiGhTs As YoU hAvE nEvEr DrEaMeD.
TC: aS wIlL hAvE yOu BeGgInG fOr MoRe. OnE mOrE tAsTe Of tHe FiNeSt MoThErFuCkInG aMbRoSiA.
GC: THE COURTS W1LL D3C1D3 JUST HOW 4MBROS41C TH3S3 SUPPOS3D COOK13S 4R3
TC: jUsT aS sOoN aS cRoCkEr SiS aLlOwS mE bAcK iN tHe KiTcHeN.
GC: ALLOWS?
GC: H4S TH3 3ST33M3D CROCK3R CH1LD GOT YOU ON TH3 SHORT L34SH TH3N?
GC: P3RH4PS 3V3N
GC: TH3 SHORT3ST L34SH
GC: 1 SM3LL 1NTR1GU3
TC: jUsT rEsPeCtInG hEr MoSt HaLlOwEd Of KiNgDoMs.
TC: ShE tOoK mOtHeRfUcKiNg OfFeNsE wHeN, aNd I mOtHeRfUcKiNg QuOtE,
TC: mY “stupid, heavy stomping feet” CaUsEd HeR “souffle to fall.”
TC: I aIn’T hEaR aNyThInG hIt ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg GrOuNd.
TC: AnD wHaT tHe MoThErFuCk Is A sOuFfLe?
GC: 1T 1S 4PP4R3NTLY C4LL3D A SOOFL4Y 4ND NOT 4 SOOFUL
GC: D4V3 WONT STOP L4UGH1NG 4T M3
GC: 1T 1S 4PP4R3NTLY TH3 HUM4N B4BY 3GG 4ND 1T 1S SUSC3PT1BL3 TO LOUD NO1S3S BUT SOM3TH1NG T3LLS M3 1 4M B31NG L3D TO B3L13V3 A L13
GC: J4N3 DO3S NOT S33M TH3 TYP3 TO B3 A T33N4G3 MOTH3R
TC: HuMaN bAbY EgG?
TC: aW, nO wOnDeR sHe’S mAd At Me.
TC: :o(
TC: If ShE’s AlL oF tRyInG tO gEt HeR gRuBbInG oN
TC: wAiT, dOeS tHaT mEaN sHe’S tHe MoThErFuCkInG hUmAn MoThErGrUb?
GC: HMMMMMMMMM
GC: 1 DONT TH1NK HUM4NS H4V3 MOTH3RGRUBS
GC: V4R13D R3PORTS S4Y TH3YR3 M4MM4LS
TC: MaMmAlS?
TC: tHaT’s StRaIgHt Up SoMe WeIrD sHiT!
TC: hOw ThE mOtHeRfUcK dOeS iT eVeN wOrK?
GC: W3LL
TC: uH, nAh. I’m GoNnA cAlL mAgIc AnD lEaVe It ThErE.
TC: sOmEhOw, I dOn’T tHiNk I’d LiKe GeTtInG mY mOtHeRfUcKiNg KnOwInG oN aBoUt ThAt.
GC: WIS3 D3C1S1ON
TC: HeY
TC: sO
GC: WH4T?
TC: i BeEn Up AnD tHiNkInG.
GC: B3TTER G3T SOM3 FROZ3N W4T3R CUB3L3TT3S TO COOL DOWN YOUR OV3RWORK3D TH1NKSPONG3 B3FOR3 1T C4TCH3S F1R3 >:]
TC: WhAt A cArInG mOtHeRfUcKeR yOu ArE.
TC jUsT wArMs My PuShEr RiGhT uP.
TC: lIsTeN tHoUgH.
GC: DO 1 H4V3 TO?
TC: i GuEsS yOu CoUlD gEt YoUr IgNoRiNg On If ThAt’S yOuR cHoIcE.
GC: F1N3
GC: T4LK, CLOWN
TC: i BeEn ThInKiNg I lIkE tHiS.
TC: jUsT sHoOtInG tHe MoThErFuCkInG bReEzE wItH yOu EvEn On PrObAtIoN.
TC: i WaNtEd YoU tO kNoW cAuSe MaYbE tHaT’d Be GoOd, RiGhT?
GC: >:/ WH4T’S YOUR 4NGL3?
TC: nO aNgLe, SiStEr. JuSt My MoSt HoNeSt Of MoThErFuCkInG fEeLiNgS fRoM tHe BoTtOm Of My MoThErFuCkInG sOuL.
TC: i AiN’t TrYiNg To GeT aNyThInG uP aNd MoThErFuCkInG oVeR yOu.
GC: TH3 COURT W1LL W1THHOLD JUDG3M3NT FOR TH3 T1M3 B31NG
GC: JUST R3M3MB3R YOU’R3 ON TH1N 1C3
TC: NoT fOrGeTtInG aNy TiMe SoOn.
TC: ThAnKs
GC: YOU’R3 W3LCOM3
Things get back to light within a few minutes. It’s a start. Of what, she’s not sure, nor does she know if she even wants it to be something at all. Who knows? Maybe she’ll get something more than just delicious baked goods if she lets him stick around.
Not that their friendship had been all that great before he went crazy, but it hadn’t been that bad, either. She sits back a bit and regards the screen with his garish color and embarrassing eagerness. It could be an elaborate trick. He’s been screwy for years. But… Maybe it’s not.
Maybe it’s okay to try.