Work Text:
supernova:
a supernova is a massive explosion of a dying star. the event occurs during the last evolutionary stages of a massive star. the explosions are extremely bright and powerful. the star, after the explosion, turns into a neutron star or a black hole, or is completely destroyed.
When a star dies, does it make any sound?
Does a star die in silence from the lack of oxygen to transmit a sound, or does it die with such a noise that no one can hear for no one is near when it dies?
When Hoshimi Junna died on a random Tuesday, Daiba Nana realises that the lack of people has nothing to do with the lack of noise.
Hoshimi Junna died on a random Tuesday.
Not even a Monday. Nana would settle even for a Friday.
But that’s when she dies, laying in bed as she did on any random day. Because that's what it was, a random day like any other.
She doesn’t die in the middle of a revue. She doesn’t die of old age. She doesn’t die from a sickness that would take her apart until she was left a living corpse that death one day would decide to visit.
Hoshimi Junna died on a random September Tuesday and there was nothing Nana can do to change that.
Nana doesn’t notice. Junna enjoyed sleeping in the last few days. It was their last year, she could afford to rest a little more after the revues. She laid in bed, unmoving and frozen, just as beautiful as she had always been.
Nana doesn't notice until she was ready to start the day and Junna remained in bed.
Did stars shine after their death?
Of course not, Nana. They turn into supernovas, a bright explosion that lasts only but a moment, and then they could turn into black holes! And black holes are known for their capacity of not letting light pass through.
Nana had tried her hand in messing time. Perhaps that had even affected Junna, Junna who seemed so bright even if Nana’s eyes saw an unmoving body.
“Junna-chan.”
She shook her. Junna made no sound. Her body was heavy to move.
“Junna-chan, wake up.”
Nana had yet to register anything. She stared at Junna with empty eyes and then notices the unmoved sheet, how Junna's body was frozen in temperature and movements.
She slipped under the covers, pulled Junna against her chest. One hand around her back, the other holding her face against her heart.
No warm breath caressed her neck.
Nana caressed Junna's cold cheek. “Come on, Junna-chan. I know you're better at swimming now, but there's no need to hold your breath.”
Nana doesn’t feel anything.
Junna doesn’t either.
Nana closed her eyes, breathed in her scent. Junna had smiled last night, had said they could go to that newly opened cafe with Nana today. She’d made plans to drop by the library. She told Karen she’d help her with her homework.
When a star dies, no one is there to know of when it dies.
“It’s okay, Junna-chan. Rest for a while.”
Death never came with a warning.
Death never told you when it would knock on your door.
“I’m here. I'm always here. I won’t let you be a silent fallen star.”
Nana wished it did. Nana wished this supernova lasted long enough for a goodbye that wasn't silent and on a random Tuesday morning.
“Banana-chan, why does the room smell…?”
Nana doesn’t look up. She had just been telling Junna about the bright stars they could look at together, of all they could look at from the rooftop of their dorm.
“Banana-chan…? Junna-chan?”
Mahiru stepped closer. And then she screamed. And then Hikari came in, and then Karen and-
“Nana!”
Claudine made to walk to her but Maya stopped her.
It’s Maya who stepped first. It’s Maya who Nana looked at first.
She can see the others behind her. Kaoruko is crying, holding unto Futaba. Karen was on the ground, so was Mahiru. Hikari stood in silence, Claudine already on the phone talking to someone through tears.
“Daiba-san.” Maya touched Junna’s neck. Nana doesn’t understand why she closed her eyes and swallowed so harshly. “Let go of Hoshimi-san.”
She shook her head, held Junna closer. “No. She’s cold. Junna-chan is always cold in the morning.”
A sob echoes in the room. Nana doesn’t care to know who let it out. Maya could barely find the courage to look at her.
“Hoshimi-san is-”
“She’s cold.” Nana smiled, kissed the top of Junna’s cold head. “You’re cold, aren’t you, Junna-chan? It’s okay, I’m here. A warm banana just for you.”
She may be gone, but Nana doesn’t abandon her friends.
Nana will never abandon Junna. Junna may have abandoned Nana but even then she won't let it happen.
Nana will keep Junna close.
Tears escape from Maya’s eyes. Karen gagged and Hikari pulled her out before she made the room smell even worse from vomit.
“You have been here for a day already.” Maya held her stare, even through tears. “Hoshimi-san is dead.”
Nana stared back. She kept smiling.
“Step back before you're the one who's dead, Maya-chan. I’m going to hold Junna-chan because she's cold.”
She may be gone but Nana won’t let her go. It was her fault for not noticing, it was her fault for having a deep sleep.
What if Junna had called out for her? What if she’d begged Nana for help and Nana was too deep in her sleep to realise? What if it was her fault Junna couldn't keep shining as brightly as she always did?
She wouldn't leave Junna alone. She wouldn't let her supernova be unheard.
“She's dead.” It’s Hikari who spoke. Unlike the rest, even if tears escape her eyes, she managed to hold herself together. “Let her go.”
Nana wouldn’t let them take her Junna away. “Never.”
Hikari doesn’t talk. She stepped closer, isn't stopped to sit by Nana's side.
A small hand touched Junna's purple hair. Hikari doesn't move it, simply lets her hand rest there. Blue eyes met hers and only then does Nana really listen to her.
“Hoshimi Junna is dead.” Hikari’s words pierce the air. “She’s dead.”
Nana smiled, and only then did the tears start.
“Tell me, Junna-chan,” she whispered, mouth leaning against Junna's temple. “Were you always a star meant to fade in silence?”
Were you always meant to fall in silence?
The next sob is far too close and it’s too late when Nana realised she’d been the one crying all along.
The funeral was a quiet thing.
They held the gathering in their dorm living room. Mahiru took care of the drinks, Nana sat before Junna’s picture.
Junna’s picture that she took.
(They’d asked her if she were truly ready to handle it.
Claudine barely avoided the glasses case thrown towards her head.)
She sat there as if it were any other normal day. She accepted the comforting words from all the students and teachers, yet nothing registered in her mind. She just nodded along and kept staring at Junna’s picture.
It had been mere hours after they'd placed Junna in the casket. The funeral would happen tomorrow. Everyone was crying far too hard to talk to who came to pay respects and Nana had been the one to sit on the lone couch of the living room and meet with everyone that came to pay their respects.
One had to take the lead and who else but the one who was closest to Junna?
It was bad luck to cry over someone’s dead body in a casket. Nana hadn't cried. Hadn't cried when she first saw the body and hadn't cried as she made her ready. She uncovered the thin blanket covering the casket and simply had stared.
Even if paler than usual, Junna looked beautiful. Nana had been the one to wash her body. Her parents couldn’t handle it, had broken down and Nana had done nothing other than let them hug her, the last piece of their daughter that was still alive.
In Albania, back when her mother took her to her grandparent’s funeral, they did this. Washed the body and made sure it was in the best condition. It was a tradition to respect the person and only family was allowed to do it. A way to respect the body and the person who left them behind.
Usually, the body wore nothing, a way to show that you left with nothing same way that you came into this world with nothing. Junna laid in her last bed with her revue outfit on, one that Nana had sewn herself overnight. She looked beautiful, almost as if she’d get up and tell Nana off for making her wear it outside of the stage.
Junna came into this world a shining star. Nana would make sure she left the same way.
“I guess you really held your promise to let me take care of you.” Nana smiled, leaned closer to the casket. Junna’s green eyes were closed, her face so bare without her glasses, glasses that Nana kept in her hand. “You really are a liar, Junna-chan. I thought we were supposed to meet again on stage.”
Her lips met Junna’s forehead. She doesn’t let go until Kaoruko called out for her.
Nana stole one last look. She stared at her unmoving chest, the same way she'd stared at it for all the hours it took everyone to visit.
Sometimes she'd think that it was still moving.
It never did.
Death, she soon came to realize, loved silence.
In the aftermath of the funeral, after she’d been the one to throw the last shovel in Junna’s grave, they’d all gone back to the dorms. No one spoke, everyone just cried in silence.
Nana kept staring at the sky and wondered if Junna had become one of the stars she loved so much to chase after.
Beside her, Karen sat, holding her hand. Nana didn't care for its warmth, even if her hold tightened when Karen buried her face against her shoulder and cried.
Everyone had lost Junna, and it seemed they had also lost the capacity to comfort without silence.
The room didn’t smell bad. Mahiru had opened the windows when Nana had gone to the hospital but had yet to change the sheets. It felt as if nothing was amiss, as if Junna was in the kitchen waiting for Nana to come to her.
Nana laid in Junna’s bed. She stared at the ceiling in silence.
She had yet to cry. One had to be strong. One had to deal with everything, one had to do the talking during the visits, one had to hold Junna’s parents. They had years without meeting her face to face. But she was their child, they would mourn just the same.
Nana stared at the picture in her hand. Junna was smiling brightly, holding the purple frog plushie she brought Nana. It was one of her favourite pictures.
Nana smiled. “I never wanted this to be the end of your stage.”
And then everything went dark.
Are you sure of your choice?
Yes.
This will be much more than just holding back time, Daiba Nana-san.
I know.
What you will have won’t be the real her.
I understand.
What remaining brilliance you have-
Will you do it or not?
I understand. May it be so.
“Nana.”
Nana smiled when she opened her eyes, finding Junna staring at her with a warm smile. She always got up earlier than Nana. Today was no different, her hand caressing Nana’s bangs away from her eyes.
“Junna-chan. Did I make us late again?”
Junna doesn’t reply. She only stared, green eyes-
Nana kept smiling. “Of course I didn’t.”
Junna extended one hand, the same way she always did in the mornings to help Nana get up.
“Let’s go, Nana.”
A warm hand grasped a colder one.
It was the start of a new day.
Kaoruko screamed when she saw them.
Nana blinked, taken aback by how pale Kaoruko had become in the span of seconds.
“Ho- Hoshimi-”
Maya froze. They were the only ones in the kitchen and both were in different degrees of shock. Only Nana kept as normal, right by the entrance of the kitchen with Junna by her side.
“What's wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Because we are.” A clear voice cut the air. Nana looked at Maya, whose glare is colder than the hand that Nana held. "Hoshimi Junna is dead."
She smiled peacefully. “She was."
“Do you hate her so much that you bring back what isn’t meant to be here?”
Nana tilted her head. By her side, Junna stared with confusion in her eyes. “Is everything okay, Nana?”
Maya doesn’t understand. Of course, she doesn’t. What love could Maya understand that wasn’t the love for the stage?
“I love her enough to keep her where she belongs.”
Maya doesn’t break eye contact. Nana doesn’t either.
“I see.” Maya stepped closer, still with enough distance between them. “I suppose you never loved Hoshimi-san then.”
If Maya ended up with a bruised shoulder from barely managing to avoiding a vase thrown her way, Nana is too busy sitting by Junna’s side to take responsibility.
It is an evening like any other. Nana laid by her own bed. Junna sat by her chair, holding a book and staring at it in silence.
Nana stared at her with a smile. She was so beautiful. Nana couldn't get enough of looking at her.
She wouldn’t leave her Junna alone again. Nana had forgotten how sleep felt the past few days, spent her time dozing off at the table before scrambling awake to look at Junna, just to make sure that Junna was still there.
Nana lost her once. She wouldn't lose her again. She wouldn't allow that to happen.
Not when she had yet to grasp her star. Nana would do anything to help Junna reach her dream. Junna deserved that much after all she'd done, all she'd achieved and the passion she showed Nana.
“Junna-chan.”
Junna turned at Nana with a smile. “Yes, Nana?”
“Do you remember what you told me?”
Junna blinked. “When?”
“During our revue. About your star.”
Nana can’t remember either. It seemed the only thing she never wanted to forget, her past, had all been shrouded in a dark shadow. Judging by Junna’s clueless gaze, she didn’t remember either.
Of course, she wouldn’t. How could she remember something Nana didn’t?
“It’s okay.” She got up, laid a hand on Junna’s cheek. The girl blushed, just as her Junna used to, and kept looking at Nana with those green eyes that-
Nana doesn't look at her for long, stepped behind, and hugged her. Junna doesn't talk, continuing to stare at her book in silence. Nana's arms wrap around Junna the same way they had done countless times before.
Silence. All she had left of Junna was silence.
Nana buried her head on soft purple hair. They lacked Junna's lavender scent, lacked their smoothness. Nana could barely breathe and her chest couldn't move the same way Junna's couldn't.
Tears spilled from her eyes. Junna doesn't react to it, simply keeps staring at the book.
Nana smiled with her eyes closed but the tears couldn't stop.
She didn't want this, she wanted Junna back.
She wanted her Junna back.
The Junna that would tell Nana off for distracting her with this hug yet smile and let her continue holding her. The Junna that would talk back and smile and shine and who was warm and-
And alive.
Even for a moment. Even if enough to hug her one last time and feel her.
But she'd settle with this. She could handle the pain of loving a touchable ghost, could handle the pain of hurting her friends each day passing that she missed school to be with Junna, at each time they would look at what they all lost and wasn't meant to be there.
"I'm sorry..." She doesn't let the sobs escape her mouth.
Just once. Just one last time. That was all Nana wanted. The chance to say goodbye, to say all she had kept silent and locked in her heart, her untold truth.
"I'm here, Nana." Junna's voice was soft, even if it sounded far too empty. "I'm here."
Nana continued crying and hugged her closer, palms settling upon a heart that didn't beat anymore.
“You’re right, Junna-chan. You're here. That’s all that matters now.”
Junna’s body is cold in her arms.
Nana shakes it as hard as she can, whispering her name in a panic. But no reply comes. All she feels is an unmoving, heavy body that does nothing but lay there.
She has to protect her. She has to. It’s her fault for not doing more, it’s her fault for letting Junna go sleep without telling her to be careful, to not leave Nana, that she lo-
Everything fades into darkness after that.
No one spoke to her much after Junna's return.
Maya had taken to only being around Claudine. Claudine too, stared at Nana from afar yet didn't talk to her.
Kaoruko could barely look at her before running away, Futaba by her side.
All Hikari did was sit silently by her side. She hadn’t spoken to Nana ever since the funeral. But she sat by her, silent and there.
Mahiru cooked for them. Nana had forgotten how the kitchen looked like. She went there with Junna once. Junna’s hand couldn't hold the egg and it fell on the ground. Junna only apologised and Nana said it was okay.
She never went there again.
Karen was the worst of them all. Just as Hikari, she sat by Nana, but she’d try to talk about Junna before Nana slammed her hand on the table or thigh hard enoguh to make Karen go silent. It was unnerving- being around a silent and guilty Karen.
Nana doesn't blame them. She was putting them through hell. But she couldn't let this Junna go, couldn't let her go even if all Nana now had was a puppet that resembled her friend. They all had their partner to run to. Claudine had Maya for comfort and Maya had Claudine to nurse her bruised shoulder. Kaoruko had the chance to cry in Futaba's arms and Futaba had the chance to embrace her and talk to Kaoruko.
And what of the trio? Mahiru could stay in the kitchen all she wanted and she'd go back to a room that wasn't silent and with the sheets of her gone partner still unwashed. Karen had Hikari. She had her fated partner. Even if Hikari kept by her side, it was Mahiru who she went to later. Karen could try talk to Nana yet Nana wasn't the one that could hold her partner and be held.
What did Nana have?
Why couldn't they at least pretend they were glad Junna was back? Just for her sake?
Did they really hate her that much?
“This isn't okay.”
Hikari rarely spoke to her. Nana doesn’t look at her, kept looking at Junna. Junna who held a book in her hand and kept the same small smile on her lips that Nana could draw in her sleep.
“What isn’t, Hikari-chan?”
“What you are doing. Hoshimi-san-”
Junna looked at them then, raising her glasses with a hand. “Do you need anything, Kagura-san?”
Hikari doesn’t reply. Nana doesn’t miss the tears in her eyes, nor how she turned to look away.
None of them could face Junna these days.
It was okay.
Nana would look at her enough for everyone.
“It’s okay, Junna-chan.” Nana tapped her fingers on the table slowly, still looking at Hikari. Her chin was leaning on her hand. “Hikari-chan just misses you a lot.”
“But…” Junna looked confused. “I am here?”
Hikari walked away. Nana wanted to hate the small smile that bloomed on her face.
Good. No one deserved to care for Junna in her new beginning if they couldn’t love her after her end.
Nana coughed, holding a hand before her mouth and blinking when she saw the blood in it. Junna stared but made no comment, turning to look at her book again.
It was okay. Anything for her to be able to live just for a little longer with Junna by her side.
“Banana isn't herself these days.”
Futaba. It’s Futaba that’s talking behind her closed doors, Nana’s ears picking up the voice. By her side, Junna does nothing but keep reading.
“She’s grieving, Futaba. What she passed-”
“We all lost Hoshimi-han!” Claudine and Kaoruko. “But Nana-han didn’t lose just Hoshimi-han. Where is the brilliance she had? That person- that isn’t her.”
Silence. Nana's frozen.
“I’ll take Karen to the giraffe.” Hikari. “If someone has answers, it’s him.”
“I can’t handle this anymore. That's not Junna-chan and sometimes I look at them in the kitchen and-” That’s Mahiru’s crying voice. “She doesn’t reply unless Banana looks at her, she doesn’t even look like Jun Jun. Even her eyes-” That's Karen who can't finish her words.
“She’s dead.” Maya. Nana has started to hate the sound of her voice more than ever. “Hoshimi Junna is dead. What we see is barely but a ghost. We need to solve this before we lose Daiba-san too.”
"If we already aren't." Karen. "I... I saw some bloody napkins, when I was with Banana. She hid them from me but..."
"We must hurry then." Maya again.
Claudine finishes her words."Hikari, take Karen to the theater. We must be ready."
Nana doesn’t move from her seat, even as the others walk away from the door. All Nana does is put a stray purple lock behind Junna’s hair, smiling at the small smile she got in return.
There was no glitter in those green eyes.
But it’s okay. Nana was used to clinging to dead things just for the brilliance they once had.
Why did you let her do this?!
The brilliance of a stage never seen before, Saijo Claudine-san, the breaking of an already existing stage-
Shut up! This isn't about the stage! What did you do with Banana-chan?!
I did nothing that I should have not or couldn't. The brilliance of Daiba Nana-
Is slowly disappearing. That brilliance is feeding whatever creature sits by her side. And it's killing her too.
I see you understand, Tendo Maya-san.
That’s a Korosoru, isn’t it?
Sharp as your blade you are, Kagura Hikari-san.
How… How can we undo this?
The same way you have dealt with Korosoru. Daiba Nana-san is overcome by grief. And the most brilliant of plays are always those that are filled with tragedy.
Begin the revue. We're stage girls. We'll deal with Nana-han.
I understand.
The stage is cold.
Nana sighed. Didn’t everyone already learn their lesson from the revues? But here she stood, Junna by her side, eyes empty yet sharp, bow in position.
The gem in her bow glowed a sick yellow, unlike Nana’s faint golden.
“Do we really have to do this?” Nana clapped and two swords rose by her sides. She grabbed them easily. “We were all doing fine. And now this? For what? Because I brought Junna-chan back home?”
“You broke the cycle of life.” It’s Maya who stepped forward, who talked first. Claudine joined her. “Nana, we have been understanding until now. But we lost Junna. We won’t lose you too.”
Nana bared her teeth. It seemed her little friends weren’t so little anymore. But she coughed and she tried not showing the stagger in her step. She spit out blood, not caring of how Maya's gaze turned into worry.
“That’s no way to speak to me, Kuro-chan. Or did Maya-chan brainwash you so much that you can only think the same way she thinks too?”
Claudine froze. Good. Nana liked her more when she was the nice and understanding Claudine anyway.
“Nana-han, this isn’t you.” A sharp blade is pointed in her direction. “And we care enough for you to stop this.”
“Or what? You'll complain to Futaba-chan again?” Nana stepped forward. Junna followed. “Let’s just get this over with. Maybe I’ll cook for everyone again if we end this soon.”
“Let’s do this, Nana.” Junna smiled.
That smile is all Nana needed to grasp her weapons tighter, throwing herself towards seven people. Even with her lack of strength, Nana would do anything to keep Junna by her side until she too joined her.
Nana isn’t afraid of death.
When she found this family, that is what she realised. The death of others was a different thing, but for hers? Not much of a fear.
Death was something tricky. For you, it was the end. For others, it was just the beginning of a new cycle of despair.
Death wasn’t nice for those that it left behind. It was why Nana didn’t mind her own. She wouldn't know what happened with those she left behind, and thus she wouldn't be sad.
She already was happy with everyone. Junna smiled at her before being sucked into a conversation with Karen and Claudine. Nana smiled back, staring at her in silence as she ate.
She didn’t want to die anytime soon, but she wasn't afraid of death. She’d regret the scripts she had yet to finish, but that was all. She knew her friends would hold themselves together, would comfort each other and get through it.
She didn’t think she could be that strong if she lost anyone. She’d be, but she wouldn’t be the same Nana anymore. So she’d rather be the one to close her eyes forever first than see herself lose who she loved.
But it was okay. It was okay.
It wasn’t the end of anyone’s path anytime soon.
They were okay.
Nana laid on the ground, breathing hard and unmoving. She couldn’t see the end of the ceiling of the stage. She didn’t care to.
Above her, the yellow gem of her sword shone brighter than before.
Around her, one person is gone. This time, she wouldn't come back.
“Junna-chan…” Nana swallowed. There was no strength left in her. “She really is dead... isn't she?”
“She is.”
“That was a Korosoru... It never was Junna-chan. No matter how much I could pretend otherwise.”
“You nearly died. Your brilliance was giving her life and was taking yours.”
“I just… I wanted her to keep shining. Couldn’t her supernova come later? Just… just for a little more... I just wanted her. For one last time. Even for a moment.”
“I miss Jun Jun too, Banana.”
Nana closed her eyes. Finally, the tears escaped, silently and without a sob or sound. Reality crashed upon her and it broke her already broken heart into tinier pieces.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…. My Junna-chan… everyone…”
There, with weapons on the ground and bodies barely able to stand up, does Nana let herself grieve for the star that fell in silence. And by her side, with tears in their eyes, does everyone grieve for the one they lost and for the one that nearly joined her.
“I hate that you died on a Tuesday.”
The graveyard was silent around them. There wasn't much noise except the loud rustling of the leaves of an oak tree that was near Junna’s grave. It was okay, Nana thought, Junna always enjoyed silence and nature.
“You just… It isn't fair on you to go on such a random day.” The ground was still soft under her hands, worked carefully from the flowers she planted moments before. “You left me. You left everything behind. Your unused new notebook, Karen-chan’s plans to be tutored by you... ”
Death, Nana realised, never said when it's time to visit came. It simply came. It didn't do second chances, it didn't do ends that last long enough to give you time for the last goodbye.
“Everything left in the middle… your path too. What kind of stage girl interrupts her stage without a warning?”
Nana stared at the writing engraved on the stone.
Hoshimi Junna
01. 10. 2002 - 10. 09. 2019
May you rest between the stars that you sought.
She wrote that quote. Junna’s parents asked her to. You're her closest person, they said. She wrote in her letters about you, they continued. She would want this, they confessed.
Nana didn’t mind. She would do anything for her Junna. That was the least she could do.
“Do you know what a supernova is, Junna-chan?” The leaves rustled around her. Nana smiled, sat closer to the head of the grave, trying not to sit on top of the newly planted blue flowers. “It's the death of a star. Something so beautiful, yet not lasting long enough. Not dying loud enough.”
But it lasts for 100 seconds, Nana! That is the whole beauty! Just as stage girls, they burn instantly, and can either turn in a neutron star that keeps shining, or in a black hole. Isn't that so beautiful?
Nana caressed the engraved words. “Why did you have to die so… silently? You shone so brightly every day… and you just… One night I fell asleep while staring at you and the next morning you-”
She swallowed. Acceptance came hard, but she was okay.
She had to be. She would be.
“I hate that your end came so sudden. You weren’t supposed to die like this.” Her nails dug into the ground. “You were supposed to live, and to go to university, and to shine and to find your new stage and- and-”
Let us remeet on a new stage, Nana.
Nana breathed out. “I'm sorry. That I didn’t cry during your funeral. That I tained our friends' memory of you. That I couldn’t be strong. I have yet to accept that it wasn't my fault but... I'm trying. For my sake. For everyone's sake.”
Even so big and strong, you're just like a kid, Nana.
Around her it’s silence. For the first time in weeks, Nana found it comforting. There was a comfort to be around people that wouldn't be able to hear you, that wouldn't judge you. It was just her and Junna’s grave.
Just her and her Junna.
“It’s okay.” She breathed in, breathed out. “It’s okay. This was the end of your stage, Junna-chan, you couldn't control it. You can rest at peace now.”
Nana smiled. Death would come, to her, to all she knew. The end was inevitable, no matter how much she could try to stop time and cheat death.
You couldn’t cheat death. No one could.
“I will… I'll always remember you.”
Nana stood up, dusted her knees. She took out a black box and caressed it gently. Nana placed it on the ground, leaving it open.
The light reflected on the lenses of the same pair of glasses Junna loved to wear most.
“This isn’t the end of my stage.”
Nana looked away, around them.
Silence. Peace.
The sun shone through the tree leaves.
Junna would love it here. Nana hoped she loved wherever she was.
“When my stage ends…” Nana looked to the grave, so silent and lonely.
Was her body really under Nana?
Wasn’t Junna cold?
How could Nana stand so normally when she laid under her feet-
Nana swallowed her tears. She couldn't break down now. “I hope I will meet you, Hoshimi Junna. When my time, just as yours, comes.”
She stood there for a moment. Nana hoped that if she focused enough, she could hear a voice in the wind, that her life could be like all the plays she had seen and written where she’d feel a shadow close and know it was Junna. That her life could be just as the stage she loved and can give her one last bittersweet end.
She stood and hoped for one last moment, one last thing, one last memory of Junna-
Nothing came.
Nana walked away.
Junna was dead. Her Junna was dead.
It was the truth and even through silent tears, Nana could accept it. She was gone and she would never have her back.
But life went on. Not as Nana wanted it to, but it did. And she would try her best to live it to the fullest, chasing after her dream.
Yet, all she could do now was take one step, and another, and another and another until she met all of her friends, waiting by the gate for her with gentle smiles.
Junna could have died, Nana thought, but it didn’t mean she was forgotten.
“Let’s go home,” she said.
Junna would live in them, in her, until the very moment that Nana would join her. Or maybe she wouldn’t. She didn’t know what awaited her after she closed her eyes. She just hoped that whatever it was, it was something that kept Junna safe.
Because when Nana closed her eyes, she knew she would close them with Junna still in her heart.
But with the sun shining above them, all Nana cared about was that she may not know her end, but she knew the way she would live until then.