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“Oi Master, what the hell do yo-“
“Think fast!”
A vaguely silver-gold blur sped towards Caenis as she turned to face her Master, the soft metal of whatever is was settling into her hand with a gentle thump noise. The blazing red of the Thessalian tyrant’s eyes turned to register what the strange thing was for a moment before redirecting the blazing fury in them back at Ritsuka.
“Huh?”
In Caenis’ hand rested one of the dumbest things the warrior had ever seen. A silver topped and bottomed can with a thick strip of gold wrapping around the main body, the shirtless form of Kintoki plastered boldly across it. The words “URUK GOLD ALE” were stamped stupidly next to him as he seemed to be trying desperately to look anywhere other than where the can’s holder might have been trying to look. The idiot Master in front of her had no such compunctions, beaming like she’d just pulled off something brilliant as she darted back into Caenis’ primary field of view. The breeze was beginning to stir her bright floral shirt and shorts just as the intensity of her smile faded to something warmer but still as stupidly accepting.
“Happy Birthday, Caenis!”
“So ya got the gold king of asses from Uruk and the gold braindead idiot from Raikou’s crew to make this stupid-ass thing for me so I wouldn’t beat the shit outta ya when ya brought me here?”
“Yup, pretty clever huh? I got this whole thing planned out, so just sit back and enjoy!”
Ritsuka’s beaming, idiotic, stupid, foolish, idiotic smile as Caenis laid out the girl's half-baked plan was almost infuriating. Though the tyrant did have to admit, it did take a certain degree of courage beyond being completely detached from any sort of self-preservation to do what the Chaldean Master had done. The soft chk-hiss of Caenis opening the can in her hand was the only sound to break the silence, replaced by deep glugs as the warrior began to chug the contents of the can. He might be a shit, and the can’s design equally shit, but the ale stuff that King of Heroes had knocking around was damn good. And she wasn’t about to pass up on free drinks even if this entire situation felt like some sort of shitty joke.
“He…hehe….ahahahahaha! You really think that’s clever? Boy, you’re an even bigger idiot than that Jason prick, y’know that Master.” The silence settled back between the pair as they gazed at each other and drank, Ritsuka taking a pace far slower than Caenis’ but still giving it a damn good try. Chk-hiss, chug, chk-hiss, chug. A small mountain of cans was beginning to pile up between the two as the multi-packs of trashy high-tier booze began to empty. A comfortable silence of boozing settled in as Ritsuka kept looking either out at the view or at her Servant, and Caenis showed no interest in looking at anywhere at all.
Least of all out over the wine-dark sea.
“Alright, stage two of Caenis’ birthday celebration begins now.”
Her eyes slowly opened back up as Ritsuka’s voice broke the stillness of the day as it slowly passed into night. The alcohol passing through her body, Servant though she was, left her pleasantly dazed enough that she couldn’t be bothered to snark at the whole situation. It wasn’t her birthday, she hadn’t asked for this. But here she was being dragged along by an idiot, in a place she really didn’t want to be. That didn’t seem to stop her Master though, as she hauled herself up from the cliff-edge that Caenis had staunchly refused to focus past for the last….thirty or so cans of ale she’d downed. Not like she was that interested in what was gonna happen next.
“Come on come on, we’re gonna miss the moment if we don’t move.” Ritsuka began to badger her as she stubbornly refused to move, tugging on the sleeve of Caenis’ white biker jacket like a hyperactive child wanting to show their friend something cool.
“Aaaarrrgghhh….fine fine, just get offa me ya idiot. I’m moving I’m moving, just hands off th- hey I said hands off the jacket!” Fine, fine, if the dumb girl wanted to drag her along the least she could do was oblige her. Worst came to the worst there was still ale to drink, or throw at Ritsuka if she felt in the mood after whatever happened next.
And so the pair rose from their resting spot and began to go wherever it was that the plan required they go. Ritsuka stumbled along a little with a bag of emptied cans over her shoulder, the resistance to alcohol her contract with Mash gave her inadequate against…shit how many cans had she drunk? Caenis had lost count, and now she thought about it realised she didn’t really care. She was too busy focusing on the girl’s back as she tried not to think too hard about where they were.
About the familiar coloured sea. The shape of the coastline she knew from her time alive. About the vegetation, the sky. About feeling of the salty breeze on her skin and the rustle of her casual delinquent-style biker outfit as air caressed her tan skin. Everything around her was something she wanted to get away from, the familiarity of it digging into her soul and leaving her blood pumping hotter.
But…Ritsuka was here, and the whole situation left just enough self-control in her she that wasn’t going to just storm off. At least not yet. Abandoning her Master when she’d put effort in, even if it was weirdo effort she didn’t really want, just wouldn’t have sat well in her gut afterwards. Her pace quickened so she could catch up with Ritsuka’s lead as the redhead continued to stumble slightly on down the path.
Caenis reached out past her shoulder and forcefully slipped the bag of cans from her grasp, the other arm snaking around her Master’s shoulder and pulling her in close. Just to keep her upright. Damn fool probably hadn’t drunk anything before. Wouldn’t be used to walking so she didn’t fall her dumb arse over and hurt herself, then Caenis’d have to eat shit and explain it to all the other idiots Chaldea was full of. She just didn’t want to deal with the effort and shit.
Yeah. That was the only reason she had.
“Caenis is so coooollll~.”
The ears on top of her forehead twitched at the barely whispered phrase that escaped Ritsuka’s lips as the pair stumbled on together. Fine. Maybe not the only reason.
“Eat shit, dickhead!”
“Useless trash god!”
“Fall on your own trident and die, you scumbag shitstain!”
The loud splash as the empty cans hit the surface punctuated every curse the pair could think of as they tossed the refuse into the sea. That last one Ritsuka bellowed left Caenis bent double laughing as tears tried their best to fall onto the sand below. The addled Ritsuka burst out giggling soon after, so now the pair were just standing there like idiots, two fools by the sea with an empty bag of trash heckling a god that wasn’t even there.
“The hell…the hell was that one even? You run outta new ones, or just half-ass making up something to try and look cool? You’re a frickin’ big idiot, dumbass.”
“Sorry, I just…hehehe, got a little into the mood. Think the king guy’s mead is kinda…kicking in a little hard. Was there always two of you there, or am I juuuu- “
The laughter and booze finally seemed to do what about four years of shit deals and insane co-workers had failed to do as Ritsuka fell face first towards the sandy shore. The laughter in Caenis’ lungs didn't even miss a beat as she swayed across the sand to catch her.
The crimson setting sun illuminated the pair as Caenis held her Master just above the sandy floor. Their now equally stupid faces smiling at each other as the frustration in Caenis’ body gave way to mirth which grew as Ritsuka’s face tried its best to turn away from her Servant’s. Come on, she’d tried to do some weird bonding shit by getting drunk together and tossing the waste in the ocean like they were fucking with Poseidon, and she couldn’t handle a little booze? Gonna get embarrassed over a little fall like that?
“What, you went to all this trouble just to get wasted and fall on your ass like a lightweight? Stop trying to look cool when you aren’t, idiot. You’ll just look like an even lamer Master than you already are.”
Ritsuka looked like she was going to curl up into a ball and die. And all that did was make Caenis want to tease her even more. Hey, the idiot had dragged her somewhere she didn’t wanna think about with no warning. This was just payback fair and square.
“You gonna need me to stick around forever? Keep ya from falling over anytime ya gotta do something? How ya got so far without me’s beyond me.”
The shrinking form of Ritsuka held in her arms all the reward she needed to call the day even. Aw hell, she really was an idiot. Planning this weird shit for Caenis and then getting mortified at the end in her arms. The laughter faded from Caenis’ lips as Ritsuka tried to slip away from her, the strong grip of the tyrant giving her no room to escape.
A warmth settled into the Servant’s heart as the sun sank beyond the horizon, a smooth sliding motion pulling Ritsuka upright and into Caenis’ chest as if in answer to it. The day Ritsuka declared to be her birthday was coming to an end.
Something her pride would not let her acknowledge dripping into Ritsuka’s hair as the two stood together, waves around their feet, sea-spray in the air.
Ah, that was it. It was just the sea.