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Minsoo waited to see if Yujin would get home at a decent hour this time. Hyunoh and Seyoung had already gone to sleep in their room, the latter ordering the maknae not to stay up too late.
It was well past keeping that promise.
He kept himself busy by running through the choreography for Diamond in his head. He had messed up a few parts during their network performance, which Seyoung had lightly scolded him for, so he knew he needed to practice more.
Practice. He never saw Yujin there much anymore. Ever since he decided to try acting, it was as if he had all but vanished from their lives, appearing only like a phantom to get food or work on a few moves with them. His schedule was unbelievably packed.
He was sure Yujin was stressed. Especially since he was in scenes with Kwon Ryok, who had recently come back more determined than ever after suffering minor injuries from a filming accident. Adding to that pile of tension was their rivalry. A rivalry over love.
Minsoo wasn’t stupid. Any mention of Kwon Ryok had Yujin practically bristling like a water-soaked cat. Yujin wasn’t the type to be jealous of his seniors for their skills or talent or popularity, so all this pent-up anger he exhibited lately had to be over one other thing. A certain tiny young woman who had just debuted in a 3-member idol group.
Anyone with eyes could see how much Yujin was smitten with Maha. And honestly, who wouldn’t be? She was sweet, hardworking, and she had been the most passionate about dancing out of their whole group. And it was her desire for dance that might have kept Yujin at an arm’s length, kept him from confessing.
A faint wisp of pity curled in his lower gut as he remembered the longing looks Yujin would give her. Looks that she never noticed. Maha, after all, was the kind to focus more on her work than love.
Though, after observing the few times Maha had interacted with their senior idol at the music show and on that variety show, it seemed that it might not be the case with Kwon Ryok.
Poor Yujin.
Minsoo wasn’t sure why he found himself starting to worry about Yujin. He knew that he had to cheer on and support his fellow same-age friend, especially since Hyunoh antagonized Yujin whenever he got the chance. He tried his best to stand up for him when Seyoung couldn’t during his own bouts of burdened worries. After all, Yujin was working hard for their sake.
“We gotta look out for each other,” Yujin had once said to him after practice. He had that soft smile on his face, the one that recently would make Minsoo’s chest ache. “Maknae or not, I want to be there for you.”
Minsoo had locked that statement deep in his mind, replaying it whenever he had felt overwhelmed with his own troubles. It was a new motivation, a new mantra, a new sense of calm. I want to be there for you.
So much for that promise, Minsoo thought miserably as he looked around at the dark living room. The only sounds filling the silence were his exasperated breaths and the low hum of the A/C. A grimace twisted his features. “You’re not even here right now,” he whispered to the empty space.
As if the words were a magical spell, Minsoo saw the door creak open, leaking outside light into the room. Yujin stepped in, quiet and careful, already used to arriving home at late hours.
For once, Minsoo could observe Yujin for more than a passing moment. And he looked exhausted. The bags under his eyes were no longer hidden by makeup, and his well-kept black hair was ruffled. His posture drooped as he walked sluggishly toward his room on the other side.
“Hyung,” Minsoo called out, an edge of concern in his tone.
Yujin jumped, his bag slipping off his shoulders. Minsoo winced at the slightly noisy fall before retreating farther back into the couch as he noticed Yujin crossing over to him in a single stride.
“Minsoo-yah,” Yujin said. Despite his tiredness, his voice was firm. “It’s 2 a.m. What are you doing up this late—”
“Wanted to see that you got back all right.” Minsoo held his gaze. He took the brief time he knew he would have to study Yujin’s features. He could see his expression soften a bit, and the exhaustion present in his face flickered away for a moment. When he wasn’t sad or angry, Yujin looked…so much prettier.
Minsoo blinked. The ache in his chest was back, the same ache from all those times he had looked at a happy Yujin. Somehow, with Yujin standing so much more closely to him, just the two of them in the dim room, it almost felt like the dull pain was sharper, piercing him straight in his center.
“You’ve been away a lot, hyung.” Minsoo tore his eyes from Yujin, squeezing his hands tightly across his lap. “I know you’re busy with the movie, and you’re doing such an amazing job, but I—we miss you.”
Yujin laughed, and Minsoo snapped his head back up to catch another glimpse of that kind smile. He collapsed on the couch next to the maknae.
“I miss you, too,” Yujin said, sweeping a hand through Minsoo’s hair. Minsoo shivered at the contact, trying his best not to focus on the weird way his body suddenly felt lighter.
Yujin pointed his gaze toward the ceiling. “I’m almost done with my scenes. I still have to act alongside Ryok-sunbaenim for the next couple days, but I’ll be all right.” The previous softness in his voice was strained, tightened with tension.
“I’m sure you’re going to do awesome,” Minsoo reassured. He knocked a shoulder against Yujin, leveling an excited grin at him. “You’re working so hard for us! And if Kwon Ryok ever gives you trouble, call me up to support!” He put his fists up, comically puffing out his cheeks.
Yujin burst into another fit of laughter seeing his maknae act ridiculously. The ache in Minsoo’s chest melted into a gooey warmth, spreading out all through his system. It even rose into his throat, a delightfully suffocating feeling.
Hang on. Suffocating? Why, just now, did he feel like he could barely breathe in Yujin’s presence? He looked away, letting his swimming thoughts gather in one place. This feeling, somehow, it was familiar.
An image of Maha flashed through his mind. A hidden memory. Three years ago. The feeling of lost breath. A brief, powerful obsession. Realizing Yujin shared the same feelings for her. The chances were slimmer. Impossible. Yujin was well-liked and handsome, Minsoo was just the fun one. Forcefully he had dulled the knife of warmth that used to scrape against him every time he saw her. Pushed it down. Forced to forget.
He couldn’t believe how far down he had shoved those feelings. How they had been practically hidden away from his memory until now. Now the feeling was back. Stronger. Hungrier. And singlehandedly directed toward his former rival.
“Minsoo-yah.” Yujin’s voice cut through the haze of Minsoo’s memory. “Did you hear what I said?”
Minsoo shook his head. “Sorry, I was just…just remembering the past. At MusicHolic. When we were trainees.”
“Oh, yeah.” Yujin threaded his hand through Minsoo’s hair again, and the maknae almost leaned into the touch this time. “Back when Maha-yah was with us.”
Minsoo stiffened. Of course Yujin could easily connect Maha to the past. She was always on his mind.
Yujin drew back his hand from Minsoo. His expression looked grim. “I said something to Ryok-sunbaenim today,” he stated. “I told him I’d forget about my feelings for Maha-yah.”
Minsoo gaped at him. “Forget?”
So, Yujin was in the same position now. He wanted to push aside his crush, just as Minsoo had done all those years ago.
“So, the two of them…Maha-yah and Ryok-sunbae…”
“I can’t say for sure,” Yujin said with a sigh. His brows furrowed, hands folded together tightly. “But yeah, I have a strong feeling they are.”
Minsoo didn’t know what to do at this moment. He wasn’t sure if it was proper to try and comfort his friend, when Yujin wasn’t showing any signs of true sadness. Instead he looked even more ferocious than ever. Determined. Protective. Possessive. Absolutely alluring. Minsoo would be lying if he said seeing such a serious Yujin wasn’t making his head spin.
Yujin basically told Ryok he would accept a relationship between him and Maha, that he wasn’t going to get in their way. But saying that he would just disregard his feelings for Maha? Toss out a one-sided love that kept building up for more than three years? Yujin was never going to forget his love, no matter how deeply he would try to bury it.
“It’ll be tough,” Minsoo mumbled. He inched closer to Yujin, pressing a hand to his thigh, squeezing it gently. “But I don’t think you’ll forget how you feel for her just by saying you will.” He squeezed again, moving his hand up along his thigh, fingers working carefully into the clothed flesh.
Just a simple massage after a long day. A warm sign of support from his dongsaeng. Minsoo was certain that was how Yujin would interpret his movements.
When he watched Yujin turn toward him, however, he noticed how his dark eyes locked on Minsoo’s hands. Something hot twisted itself around his insides.
Yujin drew in a shaky breath. “I won’t?” he asked, gaze traveling up Minsoo’s arms and toward his face.
“Of course not.” Minsoo smiled, aware that Yujin was staring right at his dimples now. “Loving someone for that long…it can take a while to shake it off.”
“I did…” Yujin looked as if he was struggling to form the right words; perhaps it was because he was cognizant of the gradually closing distance between him and Minsoo. “I did tell him…that I still wouldn’t be going anywhere from her side, even as a friend…”
Ah. There it was. Minsoo knew there had been something else hidden behind that sudden declaration.
For a moment, a pang of jealousy shuddered through him. Old, buried jealousy of Maha having found someone before him. New, burning jealousy of Yujin devoting so much of his attention to Maha.
Having Maha was futile at this point. But Yujin…lovesick, passionate Yujin…who was right in front of him…practically begging to have some kind of comfort…
Yet, perhaps Yujin didn’t need comfort because of his unrequited feelings. Minsoo certainly never wanted that three years ago. He knew all too well that Yujin was definitely going through a motion of loneliness, frustration and pent-up arousal. Perhaps all he needed tonight was a distraction.
And Minsoo was more than happy to help him with that.
“You really love her, don’t you?” Minsoo ignored the envy biting at his tone. His hand was digging deeper into Yujin’s leg.
Bewilderment coated Yujin’s features. His breathing grew shallow. “Y-Yes,” he shook out after a careful pause of consideration. “But…but I don’t want to…not after all this…”
Minsoo hummed in understanding. His hand crept up more, massaging along his thigh. How undeniably small he felt as he drew closer and closer to Yujin.
Yujin with his big smiles and big hugs and big heart.
His big hands, wrapping around Minsoo’s small wrists. Yujin with his body against Minsoo’s, pressed on the couch, his lips sucking against his neck…
Oh, how Minsoo hoped for that to happen.
He was certain it would, judging by the way Yujin’s expression was changing with each touch Minsoo gave him. But he needed to be patient.
“I want to be there for you,” Minsoo murmured, recalling the way Yujin’s past words left a warmth in his chest. “You said that to me long ago.” He looked up, leaned further in. “So I wanted to say the same to you.”
Yujin gave him a startled look. His hand fell onto Minsoo’s and instead of pulling it away, he gripped it tightly.
“Even—even if it’s just as a distraction right now, I still want to be here.”
Yujin blinked as his breathing kept stuttering in short huffs. “A distraction?”
Minsoo smiled, slipping his hand out of Yujin’s grip and inching closer and closer, his body nearly on his lap. “You don’t want to love Maha-yah anymore, right? So, if you want me,” Minsoo murmured, staring straight at Yujin, “I can help you forget those feelings.”
Yujin shuddered. Minsoo could see how his mind was racing a mile a minute as he was processing the scene in front of him. He kept his gaze locked on his hyung, noting his flushed cheeks, stunned gaze, the beads of sweat forming at his hairline.
Minsoo leaned in further, almost pulling Yujin into a hug, and wrapped his legs around his waist. He blew a soft breath in his ear, feeling the older jerk his hips up beneath him. Oh. Oh. Yujin was definitely turned on.
Minsoo gasped at the feeling beneath him. But just a hard-on wouldn’t be enough confirmation.
“It’s—it’s late, Minsoo-yah,” Yujin panted out. He swallowed. “We—we should get to bed…”
“You didn’t answer me,” Minsoo said, pulling away. “Do you want me to help you?”
Minsoo was sure there was a storm brewing inside Yujin’s head. He couldn’t meet the younger’s gaze for a moment, chewing at his bottom lip. Then he saw something shift in Yujin’s expression and when he finally looked back at Minsoo, the young man in his lap wondered if it was possible for a human to melt.
His eyes were darker than usual, bottom lip crushed between his front teeth. The flush in his face had traveled below his neckline, and Minsoo was eager to see where it was journeying.
“Yes,” Yujin answered, his whispered voice straining in desperation. “Yes, Minsoo-yah, I need your help.” This time he leaned in, placed his lips on Minsoo’s neck and sucked at the skin. “Please…help me forget.”
It took Minsoo all of his energy not to scream with joy. He groaned as quietly as he could, grinding himself against Yujin’s waist. His hands tangled themselves into his hyung’s hair.
He tried to lay himself back, wanting to be pressed up against the couch as Yujin kept nibbling at his neck, but strong hands gripped his forearms.
“Not here,” Yujin rasped. “The hyungs—”
Minsoo pouted. “Then, carry me to your room?” he asked, his sweet voice thick with longing.
Yujin pressed another kiss to Minsoo’s neck as he lifted him up with ease. Minsoo tried not to stare at the arms holding him up but it was challenging when all he could feel against him was tightened muscle.
“Have you been working out more?” Minsoo whispered as Yujin skillfully opened his bedroom door while still carrying him.
Yujin grinned. “I do have to fight Kwon Ryok, after all.”
It didn’t take long for his imagination to wonder what Yujin might look like in those fight scenes. His gentle expression was probably hardened into something deadly and serious, sweat adorning his forehead and neck, tendons taut in fake anger, hands and arms tight with exertion.
Minsoo could feel heat rush over every part of his body. He was already dreading movie night at the Sparkling dorm once the film would come out—he would not be able to hide his reactions to any of Yujin’s scenes.
“Don’t tell me you’re already anticipating the film that much more,” Yujin said with a chuckle.
Minsoo had been so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize Yujin had laid him on his bed. He nearly squeaked in surprise when he saw that Yujin was above him, hands placed on the bed, on both sides of Minsoo’s head.
Their faces were so close to each other, a hair’s width away from touching. Minsoo took in a breath and slid his hands over Yujin’s arms, feeling up the muscle that was tight beneath the skin.
“How can I not when I think about how hot you might be in it?” Minsoo smiled. “For once, I may only root for the villain.”
Yujin’s eyes widened, fingers twitching as he clutched the sheets with a strong grip. Minsoo’s mouth watered as he became acutely aware of the big hands near him. He glanced over at one of them, taking in the veins that were showing up from how tightly he was holding onto the bed.
Yujin said nothing, only flashing a small smirk as he dragged that hand over to caress the side of Minsoo’s cheek. The smaller man shivered at the touch, tensing and relaxing at random. He gazed up at Yujin, studying his reactions and how he seemed to want to familiarize himself with the planes of Minsoo’s face.
Then he lowered himself and pressed his lips against Minsoo’s mouth.
Yujin was soft and warm. His lips moved in slow motions, and Minsoo matched his pace. They kissed like that for a few minutes, until Minsoo groaned and pulled him closer by his shirt and Yujin was laying on top of him. He could feel the heat of his skin through his clothes, feel the way his mouth opened up so Minsoo could kiss him even more deeply. Their arms and legs soon grew entangled as they ended up lying on their sides.
Yujin broke away first, panting, his eyes searching over Minsoo. His lips were slick with saliva, his black hair mussed from hands tugging and running through it, spots of red painted over his cheeks, neck and chest.
All Minsoo could think about was how delectable Yujin was in front of him, but for a moment a sense of unease cracked through those thoughts when he noticed how Yujin’s gaze seemed hazy and far-away.
“Hyung?” Minsoo whispered as feelings of worry made his hands tremble. “What are you thinking about?”
Are you thinking about her…
Yujin fixed his eyes onto him, still glassy but not as unfocused as they were before. He crept closer, cupped his hands around Minsoo’s lower jaw, pressed a kiss to its underside.
“Only you.”
Goosebumps multiplied all over Minsoo’s arms. He let himself be handled by Yujin, let him kiss all over his lips and cheeks and neck. He sighed with delight as he felt Yujin’s big hands roam their way beneath Minsoo’s shirt and over his back and waist.
It wasn’t long before those hands were stroking along other areas of his body, too. Minsoo desperately wanted to return the favor but he was too distracted by his own pleasure to even begin a small attempt to make Yujin feel good.
Gripping, releasing, stroking, moaning. Yujin repeated those actions in tandem until Minsoo was on such a high that when he came down, he felt like he was falling.
He wanted to stay like this forever, tangled up in Yujin and his feelings of adoration toward him. He didn’t want to think about what may happen after this, how they may go back to the way things were before, how they may never speak of this night again.
He didn’t want to think about it, but that was the direction in which his thoughts were heading, anyway, as they bounced around the fantastic rushes of pleasure he was still experiencing. Heading back to the one thing he had told Yujin before this all started.
A distraction. That was what he had said. That was all it might turn out to be. Minsoo was regretting that word choice more and more as he could feel himself drowning in his desire.
He was falling faster, sinking to the bottom of this ocean, and he didn’t want to be rescued from it.
“…Minsoo-yah.”
And yet one voice could bring him back to the surface.
“What are you thinking about?”
Minsoo’s cheeks felt wet, his throat burned. Had he been crying?
He could see Yujin’s expression was one of worry. His eyes were focused, shiny and wide, and a frown deepened the lines around his soft face. His hands were caressing Minsoo’s cheeks, wiping away stray tears.
“I—” Minsoo shuddered to try and take a steady breath, and his voice was small when he said, “Yujin-hyung, you—you make me feel so good.” A hiccup, another soft sob. “I-I know I said th-that I could distract you for the time being…but I don’t want to just…be only that…”
A thumb brushed against his lips, and Minsoo blinked away more rising tears as he watched Yujin regard him with an expression so soft, so completely different from the Yujin who had just been making him moan, it felt like a shock to his system.
“Please,” Yujin whispered. “Don’t worry. I said I’d be here for you, after all. We have to look out for each other. Minsoo-yah, you must know that you are very important to me.”
That familiar warmth rippled through his chest again, allowing him to breathe at a more normal pace. Being in Yujin’s calming presence, after the adrenaline from his orgasm was wearing off, suddenly made him realize how truly exhausted he was. He slumped forward, pressing his face into Yujin’s shoulder, mumbling incoherent words of affection.
“Aw.” Yujin patted his hair. “It is late, and I’ve made you terribly sleepy.” He kissed the top of Minsoo’s head. “We can talk later, after our schedules, but for now…”
Without managing to leave Minsoo’s side, Yujin carefully patted down the maknae’s sweat and cum with a tissue, tossed it into the trash and pulled his clothes back on as best as he could. He threw a leg over Minsoo’s side, pressed him closer to his chest, stroked the back of his head. Minsoo snuggled around him peacefully, his heartbeat returning to its regular pace and his arms wrapping around Yujin’s waist. He could feel his hyung’s breathing become more relaxed and steady, and he also fell asleep to its rhythm.
They would talk later, in the evening, and Minsoo knew that everything would be all right. For now, they slept together and dreamt of potential futures, full of love and tenderness.