Work Text:
12:15 AM
On a Saturday
Philadelphia, PA
1993
"Mac, are you seriously wearing those under your trunks right now?"
"Ye."
"You can't wear underwear in a pool, bro, it's stupid."
"So you want me to expose my hog to whatever parasites they got swimming around in there? No thanks, Dennis."
"The water is chlorinated, Mac, nothing can survive in that. Especially not imaginary dick biting fish from the Amazon."
"Oh yeah? Why did Heather Brady drop out last year? Because she got knocked up. In a pool. And if teeny tiny invisible sperms don't get killed in pools, neither will fish. Maybe you've got some kind of namby-pamby rich people chlorine in there, but I'm not gonna put my dick's life in the hands of some pimply ass poolboy who doesn't know shit about mother nature."
"'Namby-pamby'?" Dennis asked quietly to himself. He watched Mac chug the last of his beer, throw the can onto one of the country club's immaculate putting greens, and begin his ascent of the six-foot fence that stood between them and the pool.
Dennis finished his can as well and chucked it, aiming for Mac's empty. He missed his target, but it rolled a bit further than Mac's can and got closer to the hole. Nice.
Mac slid down the metal bars over and over, grunting and whining, until he finally gave up and kicked the gate in frustration. "That's bullshit! They designed it to be as slippery as possible. I can't get any traction in these boots, and it's just too high to flip over. Those greedy fucks thought of everything."
"Well lucky for you, there's a traitor in their midst." Dennis took his member’s key out of his pocket and smiled.
"You had that the whole time? You are such an asshole." But he had a big doofy grin on his face, and as soon as Dennis turned the key in the lock Mac bolted through the gate like a greyhound, only stopping at the edge of the pool when he realized he still had his boots on. He plopped down on his butt to wrestle them off.
Dennis shut the gate behind them and looked out across the water.
This pool was up to his standards. It was a fair size, and well heated. Lights lined its walls so it glowed turquoise in the night, projecting phantom waves onto the bushes, reclining chairs, and cheesy white pillars nearby.
He had many fond memories of pushing Dee in there, before she got her back brace. If he tried that now she would probably rust and drown, Jamie Nelson style. Bitch.
"Den! Dennis, are you watching? Dennis!"
"Yep, yeah, go for it."
Mac had backed up all the way into the bushes that grew along the perimeter of the fence, so he had a comically long running start to the water's edge. He jumped, shouted "JACKKNIFE!", and splatted into the water, achieving nothing of the sort.
Mac broke the surface, wet hair flopping in his eyes. "Did you see the air on that bad boy? I flew for like ever. How was the splash?"
"Not bad, not bad." Dennis granted as he circled the pool. "But splashes aren't everything, Mac. Your approach is lacking in finesse, in subtlety." He dropped his keys on a chair and popped his shirt off.
"There's beauty in the art of diving. Grace." He stepped to the end of the diving board, bounced on it a few times, and closed his eyes, visualizing.
He put his arms out and tilted forward. His form was perfect - he was going to be so much better than Mac - then Dennis's eyes must've opened again because, suddenly, Mac was there. Like RIGHT there. All he had time to do before the collision was let out a gasp. He smacked into some part of Mac and swallowed a disgusting amount of pool water as they were both forced beneath the surface.
He paddled away and grasped onto the side of the pool, where he coughed violently until he could speak. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"
Mac grabbed onto the ledge as well, and used his other hand to thwap Dennis a few times on the back. It didn't help. "You're the one who hit me, bro. I'm the victim here. I'm lucky you didn't break my whole face!"
"Wh- why were you right underneath the diving board?!"
"I just wanted to see your trick more better!"
"You were directly in my way!"
"Sounds like you need to look where you're going!"
Dennis gaped like a fish.
Mac's expression suddenly shifted. "Hey, you're bleeding. Does it hurt?" He extended his hand, and his fingers almost reached Dennis's bottom lip before they got slapped away.
Dennis ran his tongue over the wound. "Must've slammed into your massive forehead."
"My forehead's not massive!" Mac objected, even as he drifted forward to further inspect Dennis's lip.
"Oh my god Mac, I'm fine. It doesn't hurt as long as I don't think about it."
Mac broke into a grin. "In that case… last to three laps has to-" the rest of his sentence became bubbles in the water as he turned his head and darted toward the shallow end of the pool.
"Wha- oh goddammit." Dennis pushed off the wall into a breaststroke and chased after him.
Mac was halfway through his initial lap when Dennis first passed him, and after gliding by him twice more Dennis assumed a lazy backstroke so he could watch Mac panic and give up on swimming altogether. When Dennis finished the race he sat on the pool steps and smiled as Mac ran toward him in slow motion, blasting plumes of water behind him with each step.
"You can give up now. I already won."
"Just let me- touch the- fuckin-," Mac slapped the edge of the pool and flopped over on his ass in the shallow end. His chest was heaving.
Dennis slid down from the steps and used his hands to walk along the bottom of the pool. He circled Mac like a shark. "I'm always going to win, Mac. It's just a fact of life. But we could have almost tied, you know. If it weren't for those." He pointed.
"My dick and balls?"
"No, Jesus Christ Mac, what do you think I have down there? I'm talking about your fucking boxers!"
"Oh yeah," Mac looked down at the soaked green fabric peeking out the top of his swim trunks. He sat up. "Well, you might be right about that."
"See?"
"You know what else it could be though..."
Dennis raised an eyebrow.
"My mass."
"Your mass?"
"Yeah, dude! I've been getting totally yoked this year, don't even lie."
"Even if that were true, if, how in the world would that affect how fast you swim, in the negative?"
"I'm less aerodynamic, you know? I'm like a rhino, busting through the water, so I'm super strong but kinda slow. And you're like, all graceful, like a gazelle or something. Good at going fast but weak as shit."
Dennis's cheeks warmed. He sunk lower in the water until he could only breathe through his nose. A gazelle…
"Makes sense, right?" Mac was smiling.
Dennis collected himself and raised his head. "I suppose. But I am not weak, I resent that. And I still won."
"You won THAT contest, sure. But what about the other ones?"
"What other ones? How else can you compete in a pool?"
They shared a look.
Almost a minute later, Mac broke the water's surface, gasping for air.
Dennis followed, and he stood up. "40 seconds? Are you kidding me? You have terrible lung capacity."
"It was longer than 40! You were counting slow! And don't talk shit about my capacity! The only reason you can hold your breath is because you sing along to glam rock femme shit every day of your life."
"I have exquisite taste and the voice of an angel. You're just lashing out because you lost. Again. What were we betting on anyway?"
"That's a trick question, Dennis, and I'm not gonna fall for it." Suddenly, Mac started whipping his head around, scanning the area. "Hey, is there anything to lift here? Is there a gym?"
"No there's not a- I didn't sneak into a pool in the middle of the night to then leave said pool and go lift weights, Mac!"
"Yeah, yeah." Mac sighed, his gaze shifting to Dennis. Then his eyes lit up.
"What?"
Mac crept forward, smiling. "Stay still."
Dennis swallowed as Mac continued his approach. "Is this another game? That's enough, I just wanna relax, bro. We haven't even checked out the hot tub yet."
"There's plenty of time for that. Just one more, I promise." When he stopped Dennis could smell the beer on his breath. "Okay, do you wanna go first or should I?"
"... Should you…?"
"Pick me up!"
"... What."
"There's nothing else to lift here, bro! And this is the only contest that's fair to me and my talents. Since you suck at counting, I'll count, and you see how long you can carry me. And then we'll switch!" He was already wrapping an arm around Dennis's neck.
"Then we switch. Right." Dennis blinked for a second, then got with the program. He had his left arm around Mac's waist, but struggled to get his right up under his knees in the water. "Mac, what- stop jumping!"
"I'm trying to make it easier for you!"
"Well stop! Just stay still."
"Ugh, fine."
When Dennis successfully hoisted him into the air, Mac let out a surprised squeak, like this whole thing wasn't his idea, and immediately started laughing.
The laughter was contagious, and Dennis could feel his arms getting weaker as he giggled along. "Stop! You have to stop, seriously. Aren't you supposed to be counting?"
Mac did his best to compose himself. "One… two… three… four…"
Carrying Mac was kind of easier than Dennis thought it would be. Sometimes he forgot that Mac was a full year younger than him and Dee and Charlie. He could feel Mac's ribs between his fingers, and Dennis got the urge to feed him a nice big dinner.
"... 90… 91… 92… 93… 94…"
His muscles began to tremble. He adjusted his grip.
"95……….… 96……….....……"
"You're- slowing down- cheater-"
"Am not. 96…"
"You already said that one!" Dennis dropped him.
Mac shot back out of the water like a torpedo. "My turn!" He grappled for both of Dennis's legs at once.
"What are you doing? We just went through this, how do you not remember?" He turned, pressed his side up against Mac's chest and looped his arms around his neck. "Now you grab my legs. Got it?"
Just one hand went for the backs of his knees this time, and Dennis swore he felt Mac squeeze his thigh on the way there. With his other hand Mac gripped the soft, sensitive skin of Dennis's side.
Mac looked up at him from his crouched position in the water. "Ready, Den?"
"Yeah, jeez- stop- hyping it up, man, we both know you're gonna lo-OSE!" Then he was no longer supporting his own weight, and the majority of his body was gathered against Mac.
Mac gazed at him, from so close by, and Dennis's eyes grew wide. Why were they doing this again? What was happening?
"You gotta start counting," Mac said.
"I do? Wasn't that- oh whatever. One… two… three… four… five… six..."
Mac was still staring.
"Do I have something on my face?" Dennis asked automatically, then froze. He thought back, tried to remember if he put waterproof mascara on that morning. Did he look like a total mess right now?
Mac rolled his eyes and finally looked away. "Not much. Just ugly."
Dennis frowned and made sure to count slower as he went on. "12…. 13.… 14.… 15…."
He began to register that he was swaying back and forth. "What the- are you rocking me? I'm not a baby."
"Coulda fooled me." Mac continued.
At 65 seconds Dennis could feel Mac's arms start to shake, and he smirked. He was going to beat Mac once again, as he always did, and always would, from tonight until the end of time. All was right with the world.
Mac took a step back, and Dennis's feet skated the water.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing." He took another step.
Dennis's butt took a dip. "You're cheating, aren't you."
"There's nothing against it in the rules."
"You invented this contest, Mac."
"Exactly."
Dennis was now submerged up to his neck. "Well, you definitely lost, so. Congratulations."
"Nuh-uh." Mac spun slowly in the water, taking Dennis with him.
"This thing you're doing right now, it requires no strength at all, you realize that right?"
"Don't be a sore loser, dude. I used my street smarts to figure out a way to make carrying your bitch ass more easier, and now I can do it for the rest of the night. You might as well lie back and enjoy it."
Dennis was surprised into a laugh at Mac's audacity. He stuck an arm out with the intent to splash him, but ended up leaving it in the water, observing the gentle waves formed in his wake as Mac took him in circles again and again.
"Guess there's no escape, then."
"Nope."
Dennis leaned his head back and looked at the sky. The moon was one of those half moons, which was the least exciting genre of moon in his opinion. He spotted the Big Dipper, which was the only constellation he could ever remember. He was pretty sure it was part of a bear. Two bears? More? How many bears were there in the sky? Mac for sure wouldn't know, but he was kind of curious to hear his answer anyway.
He was halfway to forming the question in his mind when he noticed the expression on Mac's face and forgot it entirely. He was staring at Dennis again, and there was something unguarded there. Vulnerable. His eyes looked even bigger than usual, and his gaze was gentle and intense all at once. Dennis felt a little like he wanted to hide.
They had stopped spinning at some point. Dennis used the arm still around Mac's neck to pull himself up a bit. "What're you thinking about?"
Mac gave him a grin that made his chest hurt. "I was thinking I should apologize, seeing as I won. Be the bigger man and all."
"Apologize for what, cheating?"
"Didn't cheat." Mac looked sincere. "I'm sorry for saying your face had ugly on it. It doesn't."
Dennis's eyes prickled. He cleared his throat. "That's... thank you, Mac."
"You're welcome." He began to take small steps again, testing the varying depths of the pool.
In the glow of the water, Dennis beheld the many freckles that peppered Mac's shoulders. He watched his muscles flex under the skin. Before he knew it, he was spewing nonsense. "You know, you are pretty strong. You can lift stuff. When you put your mind to it. I've seen it."
"Really, dude?" Mac was looking at him like he hung the shitty half moon.
"Totally. Give it a few years, a couple Rocky montages, and… who knows. You're going places."
Mac squeezed him a little tighter. "You said it, Den. I'm gonna be ripped. I'm gonna have a six pack- no- an eight pack! And delts and tris and… everything. The chicks are gonna go crazy."
"Mmhm." Dennis laid back again and let himself float as Mac held him. He spread his arms out and shut his eyes.
He let Mac pull him around the pool for what felt like a very long time. He was starting to get sleepy, and he contemplated letting Mac drive them home.
He heard Mac's voice, muffled through the water. He opened his eyes and lifted his head until his ears were above the surface. "Did you say something?"
"Oh. Uh. No."
"...Okay." Dennis waited.
Mac looked over at the gate.
"Well, I guess, I was saying I could do this again. On land. I know you get tired at school sometimes."
"At school? You're offering to carry me to class through the halls of Saint Joe's?"
"You think I can't do it?"
"I'm not saying you can't do it, I'm saying you won't do it, because I'd never let you, not in a million years."
"It was just an idea, Dennis," Mac looked sullen. He started rocking Dennis again.
Dennis thought for a bit. "...How about this. If we're at some place, and I'm really drunk, like completely hammered, like I can't even move , and you're not as drunk as me for whatever reason, and no one else is around, I give you permission to carry me to my car. In that circumstance."
Mac furrowed his brow. "That's really specific."
Dennis shrugged.
"Well, like, what if you get hurt though? At some point you'll get hurt, and I'll definitely carry you then. That's just doing the right thing."
"Mac, at this moment you are literally fantasizing about me getting hurt just so you can carry me. That doesn't seem very chivalrous."
"Yeah dude, if you get shivved, I'll be there in an instant to save the day. BAM. That guy won't stand a chance."
"Shivved?? I'm getting shivved in this scenario?"
"Not necessarily. But you have to be ready for anything, you know? Any potential threat."
Dennis cackled.
"Hey! Stop it! I'm serious! Dennis!"
He laughed harder and harder, right up until he found himself getting dunked.
He rolled out of Mac's arms and shoved him, coughing. "You son of a bitch! You're the threat here! That's it, you've lost privileges. I'm going in the jacuzzi."
"Oh shit! I totally forgot!" Mac grabbed onto the nearest ledge and vaulted out of the pool as fast as he could. Dennis didn't bother chasing him. He slowly paddled to the ladder at the deep end.
By the time Dennis stuck a toe in the hot tub, Mac had made himself at home. He was sitting with both arms out, legs spread wide.
"How are you taking up half this tub right now, bro?" Dennis said, getting his left foot accustomed to the heat.
"I don't know dude, how are you not in here already?"
That reminded Dennis of something. He walked to the panel on a nearby pillar and pressed a couple buttons, grinning in satisfaction when he heard Mac's yelp of surprise.
"Jesus dude! That went right up my asshole! This thing has bubbles?"
Dennis stepped in until the water was at his knees. "Jets, yes."
Mac blocked one with his hand. Then he stuck his thumb in it. "These fuckers are powerful!"
"Oh yeah." Dennis slowly slid the rest of the way in, settling in a spot where the jets massaged his back.
"You ever put your dick in one of these?"
"...Not inside one, no." To Dennis's horror, Mac started pulling his trunks down, along with his stupid boxers. "Don't do that while I'm here! Jesus Christ!"
"But what if something goes wrong?"
"If you're concerned something might go wrong, then don't stick your penis in a hot tub jet!"
"I'm probably too big for it anyway," Mac sniffed. He sat down again and started karate chopping the water.
Dennis rolled his eyes. He dragged his feet across the textured bottom of the hot tub, watching his legs distort and sway beneath the surface.
When he looked up again, Mac's head was tilted back and he was gazing at the stars.
"Hey Den, what do you call that moon?"
"A half moon."
"Really? Lame."
Dennis smiled. "What would you call it?"
Mac tilted his head. "’D.’ A 'D' moon."
"What about when it's facing the other way?"
"What?"
"When it's waxing, or weaning, or something. It flips around."
"Backwards D."
"D and Backwards D? That doesn't sound scientific. What does the D stand for?"
"Dong."
"Sure."
A cricket chirped nearby. Dennis sank in further, and his eyes slipped closed. He jolted awake when his nose brushed the water. Then he stood up. "Okay, Mac, that's it. Time to get out."
"Denniiiiiis," Mac whined. "Come on, it's been forever since I've been in a hot tub."
"How long do you want to spend in here? We're shriveling up."
"When can we come back?"
"I don't know. In a week?"
Mac brightened instantly. "Yeah?"
"Yeah man. Whatever you want," Dennis yawned. He clambered out of the jacuzzi and headed to the lounge chair to get his shirt.
He pulled it on, grimacing at the feel of dried chemicals on his skin. He turned to check on Mac, and was startled to find him inches away.
"AH! Ah, what?"
"You're tired, right? That's why we're leaving."
"No, we're leaving because I said so."
"You are tired though. Like, exhausted."
"What the hell are you trying to say?"
"I should carry you to the Rover. It's safer that way."
When Mac offered this to him back in the pool, Dennis kind of figured it was a joke. Just another wild, spontaneous idea that would never come to fruition. It fell in line with the other crap that tumbled out of Mac day after day: climb a fence, do a backflip, become a priest... carry Dennis when Dennis is tired. But looking at him now, it was impossible to deny that this was something Mac wanted for real. That he was hopeful about doing. Very hopeful.
Dennis took a deep breath. "Hold on a second."
When Dennis locked the gate behind them again, Mac's hands were already hovering over his body. He sighed and pocketed the keys.
"Do not drop me."
Mac picked him up more smoothly than last time, much to Dennis's relief. He looped his arms around Mac's neck as he walked them down the sidewalk to the car.
Mac was so warm from the hot tub, and his neck smelled like chlorine. Namby-pamby chlorine. Dennis tucked his head in a little closer.
He felt Mac's cheek press into his hair, and then he was set down gently next to the Rover. When he had both feet on the ground he looked at Mac.
Mac did a big fake yawn, stretched, and flexed very casually. Then he smiled. "Can I drive?"
Dennis got his keys out. "Absolutely not."
"Okay." Mac walked around to the passenger's side. "Can we-"
"Yes, we can get Taco Bell."
"AW YEAH!!!" Mac shouted into the night, with complete disregard for the mansions they were most certainly in earshot of.
"NACHOOOOOOS!" Dennis screamed along with him, and jumped in the car.
He slammed the door shut and shoved his key into the ignition. Dennis peeled out of the parking lot as fast as he could, Mac's stupid high pitched laugh right in his ear.