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Gina set down her phone, sighing. “Wot's wrong, Sooze? I fink it’s the fifth time you’ve started sighin’ in ten minutes.”
“It’s nothing, Gina, just… Some internet people.” Susato sighed, once again.
“That Fanta show again?” Gina walked over, leaning over the couch and resting her head on Susato’s. “Wot‘re they sayin'?”
Susato held up her phone.
grapespectrum: So you would rather just go with whatever canon says instead of looking at who actually has chemistry??
itsathing: You can’t talk about Cranta having “””chemistry””” when Ferky literally kissed on screen. That’s chemistry too.
grapespectrum: Ferky’s only canon because of RaceTrac, you know Coca Cola wanted Cranta
itsathing: For the last time, COCA COLA WOULD NOT PAIR ONE OF THEIR DRINKS WITH A DR PEPPER PRODUCT
greenapplemybeloved: wait is crush not a pepsi drink????
itsathing: Not now bestie <3
grapespectrum: Okay well canon doesn’t really matter anyways, Cranta are just a better fit.
itsathing: Fanta has literally gone grape mode on Crush, they should not date, but Fanta and BJ are equally powerful.
grapespectrum: Crush redeemed himself though. And grape mode is stupid anyways it’s been shown to be inconsistent as hell.
“But your URL is literally—” Susato groaned. “Whatever! Clearly they’ve never seen anything but the localization.”
“Or they just realized they lost. All o' that was cobblers.” Gina said, not understanding a word of it herself. “Who’s the green apple person?”
“Some Fazza shipper, but he’s nice.” Susato explained. This did not make anything any clearer to Gina, whose experience with Tumblr was limited to seeing screenshots from it elsewhere, and whose experience with Fanta was limited to drinking it.
“‘Course. I’ll grab ya a sink, then.” She went to the kitchen, perusing the several different flavors of Fanta that Susato was in the interest of collecting. It was probably excessive how she got her father to deliver so many flavors from Japan, but Gina figured it was a better hobby than, say, being a pickpocket.
She settled on just grape-flavored, bringing it back to Susato. “Does this all tie in to Sholmes, yet?”
While she didn’t really understand all the interest in a show about soft drinks, Gina definitely (not that she would tell him, of course) was Mr. Sholmes’ biggest fan. His constant talking about whatever novels or show he had appeared in had finally convinced Gina to check it all out, and she thought it was brilliant. Though, the character was nothing like the actual guy—the honor of being her favorite real detective would go to the boss, every time.
“No, not really.” Susato sighed. “Although, that gives me the best idea—do you think it would dissuade these people at all, if I had Mr. Sholmes tell them that Ferky was the better pairing?” Of course, Susato was a great Herlock Sholmes enjoyer, too, but she actually idolized the real guy.
“Probably not. I’ll go get ‘im!” Gina grinned, running down the stairs. “Sholmes, can ya say something stupid for the camera?”
“My dear fellow, that’s everything I say!—I mean, nothing I say couldn’t be—That is—” He stammered, then sighed, hanging his head. “Of course, Ms. Lestrade.”
“Greetings, Fanta enthusiasts!” Sholmes flicked his hat with his finger. “Today’s deduction is for you.”
“As you can see…” He peered towards the camera, squinting as if trying to read something. “Yes, of course—this still here reveals all we need to know!” The video switched to a screencap from the Fanta show, as Mr. Sholmes narrated (as if he was bored, or reading off a script) how the symbolism present proved that Fanta and Beef Jerky were meant to be from the start. “This hand on his waist, for starters, is an obvious indicator. As is the way Fanta trusted BJ— is that his name? Really?— to hold his bottle cap!”
He snapped his fingers, bringing himself back on screen. “Of course, you are surely looking towards the wiki page now.” Sholmes grinned. “So please, while you’re there, look no farther than the recent interview with the show’s creators—where they debunk your theories about Cranta once and for all.” The detective waved his hand, and the camera moved to a zoomed out angle. Susato had spent an hour trying to get that to work in iMovie.
“The truth is obvious—these two are in love, and always have been!” He concluded his deduction, spinning around. “That’s all for today, my dear fellows.”
grapespectrum: Sholmes selling out…….
pina---colada: I love how he has no idea what he’s saying <3 it’s all true anyways.
salty-chips: #lovewins
Susato grinned, an evil expression crossing her face as she watched the post explode with notes. Gina, who just liked to see the world burn, was only slightly less enthused. And the man in the video was asleep on the couch, having already forgotten what he’d signed up for
“Naruhodou, wake up!” He felt himself being aggressively shaken, and his eyes snapped open, as he feared for his life—what on earth could be making Kazuma wake him so aggressively?
“What is it, Kazuma?” It was the dead of night, in Japan. He could only hope there wasn’t any immediate danger.
Ryuunosuke’s partner flushed at the use of his name. “That stupid detective that you know, he made a video in defense of Ferky and now all of his frankly foolish flans—FUCK.” He exhaled. “Okay, so, his fans are all talking about Ferky now because of some flawed ‘deduction.’”
“That probably sucks.” Naruhodou wasn’t sure what made this such an immediate emergency, so he just sat there for a moment. So, Mr. Sholmes was causing problems with a flawed deduction of his, was he? In that case, it probably was Ryuunosuke’s job to deal with it. “Should I get my camera?”
“Yes.” Kazuma nodded. “This is of the utmost importance.”