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The door closed behind him, immediately muffling the sounds of the wedding reception.
Reggie went to the sink and splashed water on his face, trying to cool his heated skin. It dripped down his neck and wet his collar. He’d ditched the pink bowtie with his jacket as soon as his official best man duties were over and he was glad he’d made that choice. His throat was so tight it felt like he was choking.
The sound of the reception got louder and then receded as someone came in. “Reggie? What are you doing in here?”
Reggie looked up from staring into the sink basin. His knuckles were white around the porcelain. “Oh hey, Kayla,” he said, trying for a nonchalance he didn’t feel.
She was still staring at him, lip curled as if she were looking at something gross. “Are you going to be sick?”
He shook his head. “No. No, I’m fine.”
“You look like you’re going to be sick,” Kayla said. “Do you need me to get Luke?”
“No!” Reggie straightened and plastered on a smile he hoped didn’t look as fake as it felt. “I’m fine, really.”
“Okay…” Kayla said, dragging out the vowels with obvious disbelief, “because you’re in the women’s restroom, which probably means you’re not fine.”
“Oh shit.” Reggie’s face heated. “I’m sorry. I’ll go.”
“Nah.” Kayla waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t give a shit about gender norms. Besides, I have five brothers. Here.” She handed him her bag and disappeared into one of the stalls. “So, why are you in here?” she called over the sound of her peeing.
“No reason,” Reggie said. His fingers moved over the soft fabric of the bag. It was made with a shiny lavender-coloured thread that caught on his callouses.
“Liar,” she said cheerfully. “Men don’t end up in the women’s restroom for no reason.” There was the sound of the toilet flushing and she reappeared a moment later to wash her hands. “So, what’s up?”
Reggie took a breath. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Cool.” Kayla took her purse and opened it up, taking out a tube of lip gloss. “You and Flynn looked cute on the dancefloor,” she said as she swiped the colour over her bottom lip.
His face paled at the mention of Flynn’s name. “I guess?”
Kayla’s gaze met his in the mirror. “That was strangely noncommittal.”
“It’s just…” He ran his hand through his hair. He was still as overwhelmed now as when Flynn had told him her feelings. He crossed his arms and hunched in on himself, like he was fourteen instead of twenty-four.
Kayla was still watching him. “You have really pretty eyes. I mean, that green is unreal. Can I give you a makeover?”
Reggie blinked. “Like, put makeup on me?”
“Yeah. Make your eyes pop! It’d be fun!”
“You mean, now?”
She shrugged. “Sure? It won’t take that long.”
Reggie had never worn makeup before, but he and Alex had painted each other’s nails a couple of times, and he’d liked it. Plus, it gave him an excuse not to leave. “Okay.”
“Cool!” She pulled over the wooden chair with the ornate back the hotel had placed for the comfort of their guests. “Sit.”
Reggie sat. “What do you need me to do?”
“Not move when I put the pointy sticks near your eyes,” she said, handing him a wad of paper towels. “I’m thinking black eyeliner. Yes?”
Reggie dried his face and then tossed the towels onto the counter. “Sure?”
“Awesome.” She pulled what looked like a black marker out of her bag. “This is liquid eyeliner. It’s total fire, but a bitch to put on. Do not move, ‘kay?” Reggie nodded and then held himself still. “Close your eyes.”
He did, and then felt the not unpleasant sensation of a cool liquid being spread along the edge of his eyelid. It was like being drawn on and was strangely relaxing. “So,” Kayla said after a moment, “you and Flynn? Don’t move!”
Reggie had flinched at the mention of Flynn’s name. “It’s not her,” he said.
“Could’ve fooled me, with the way you freak out every time I say her name.”
“It’s not her, I promise.”
“Sure.” Her tone said she didn't believe him.
“It’s not!” He took a breath. “Kayla, do you…” He swallowed, glad he had an excuse not to look at her. “Do you ever feel not good enough?”
“I’m a person of colour in the U.S. What do you think?” Reggie winced on her behalf. “Don’t move!” she admonished him again. “Damn. Now I’m going to have to redo that side.”
There was a sound of rustling, then a wet cotton pad was applied to his eyelid. “All gone. Imma work on the other eye while that dries.”
“I’m sorry white people suck,” Reggie said.
“Whatever,” Kayla said. “I know my worth, and I’m hella proud of being Filipino. So, fuck them, you feel me?”
“Totally,” Reggie agreed. “Fuck them.” He’d kept his eyes closed, and now he felt her paint along the lid of his right eye. It was just as soothing as it’d been the first time. “This feels really good.”
“Glad you like.” He could hear her smile. “So, Reggie, why don’t you feel good enough?”
Reggie swallowed against the rush of shame. When he answered his voice was really soft. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Shit parents, huh?” Kayla said sympathetically. “That really sucks.”
He just managed to stop himself from frowning. “How’d you know?”
“Dude, no one feels bad about themselves if they had good parents. But I’m sorry you went through… whatever it was. I’m sure you didn’t deserve it.”
“Thanks,” Reggie said. “But it’s all in the past. I haven’t seen them since junior year.”
“Oh yeah, you’re totally over it. I can tell,” she said sarcastically. “I’m going back to your first eye.”
Reggie waited as she drew a line on the upper lid of his left eye. “What are you doing?”
“Just some simple lines. I was thinking of cat’s eyes, but I can never get those even. You okay if I do the lower lid as well?”
“Sure.” Reggie was enjoying hiding out in the bathroom with Kayla, and her painting on his eyes was somehow really calming. He was glad it didn’t have to end yet.
“You have perfect skin, you know?” she said. “No wonder Flynn’s crazy about you.”
And just like that, his mood crashed again. “I really wish she wasn’t in love with me.”
She stopped, looking up from rummaging around in her bag. “What?”
Reggie opened his eyes at Kayla’s angry tone. “She told me she’s in love with me,” Reggie said. “And I wish she wasn’t?”
Kayla stared at him. “A woman as fucking amazing as Flynn tells you she loves you, and you’re sad about it? What the fuck is your problem?”
“Me!” Reggie spat, “I’m the problem! You’re right. Flynn is amazing! She’s better than amazing! She’s been the woman of my dreams since I was fourteen years old! But there’s no way she can actually love me. If she knew who I was—”
“Oh, yeah. I hadn’t thought about it like that. For sure you can’t date her,” Kayla interrupted him, all anger gone from her voice. “I’ve got a charcoal pencil for your lower lid. Look up.”
Reggie drew his head back from the approaching pencil. “Wait, what?”
Kayla straightened. “Well, Flynn’s clearly stupid, so I get why you wouldn’t want to be with her. Now look up so I can finish.”
Reggie put up his hand to stop her approach towards his face. “Flynn’s not stupid!”
Kayla frowned at him. “Yeah, she is.”
“She’s not stupid!” Reggie repeated, annoyed at Kayla’s insistence. “She’s really smart! She’s brilliant! One of the brightest people I’ve ever met! How can you call her stupid?”
“Because she’s in love with you, duh. And you’re clearly not worth it, so…” She shrugged.
“She’s not stupid,” Reggie repeated, “she just doesn’t know about… about me.” He dropped his eyes.
“Will you look up?” Kayla huffed. He sighed and obliged. She swooped in and swiped the eyeliner over his lower lids. It was a scratchy sensation but not unpleasant. “All done! And, like, how long have you and Flynn been friends?”
Thinking of their friendship made Reggie smile. “Ten years. And she said she’d been in love with me the whole time.”
“Damn, you should wear eyeliner more often,” Kayla said admiringly. “But, didn’t she notice what a loser you were in ten years?”
Reggie blinked, stung despite himself. “Wow, Kayla.”
“Seriously,” she said. “I mean, you told me yourself you’re worthless, right? But somehow, even after ten years of her crushing on you, Flynn hasn’t figured it out? So, she’s stupid or just really naïve. But either way, not really girlfriend material, amirite?”
“She’s not stupid, or naïve!” Reggie protested. “Kayla, you’re a nice woman, but if you don’t stop saying this shit about Flynn, I’m gonna—”
“Punch me? Dude, I’m a black belt in Jujitsu. I’ll have you on your ass in five seconds flat.”
“I was going to say leave,” Reggie said, miffed. “But seriously, Kayla, shut up!”
Kayla crossed her arms, being careful not to touch the eyeliner to her lavender dress. It was made of the same cloth as her purse. “Reggie, look me in the eye and tell me how I’m saying anything different from what you’ve already said.”
“I’ve never called Flynn stupid or naïve!” Reggie said hotly. “And you know that!”
“But you did say you wished she wasn’t in love with you because you’re not good enough for her. And yet, she thinks you are. So, if Flynn isn’t the stupid one, who is?”
Reggie’s mouth fell open from shock. “I am.”
“I think you need some lip gloss.” She started fishing through her bag as if she hadn’t just verbally smacked Reggie across the face. “There!” she crowed, taking advantage of his parted lips to smear a sticky gel across them. “I chose something clear and really shiny. Take a look.”
Reggie obeyed and stood, still in shock over his revelation. He looked in the mirror. His eyes were outlined in black, making them seem bigger and powerfully green. His lips were smooth and shiny, like he’d just been kissed. “Wow,” he said. “No wonder women wear this all the time.”
“I know, right?” Kayla beamed at his reflection. “I’ll give you lessons, if you want.”
“I’d like that,” he said honestly. He took a deep breath, still staring at the green of his own eyes. “Why didn’t she tell me sooner?”
“You mean about being in love with you?” Kayla frowned at his reflection. “Dude! You freaked out when she told you now! What do you think would’ve happened if you’d been a kid?”
Kayla was right. Reggie had no trouble imagining how badly he would’ve reacted at fourteen. Or sixteen. Or even twenty. “I would’ve freaked out a lot.”
“And probably never talked to her again, and like you said. Flynn’s not stupid.”
“But ten years is such a long time,” Reggie said. What he meant was: How could I possibly be worth that kind of wait? but he didn’t know how to say it.
“Flynn’s a planner.” Kayla shrugged. “Guess she thought the right time was now.”
Was now the right time? Flynn was so brave to tell him she loved him, especially after waiting a decade. He didn’t know if he deserved it, or if he ever could. “I’m scared,” he admitted, voice low.
Kayla sighed. “Reggie, Flynn is a five-star catch. Ten out of ten. I’d scoop her up in a heartbeat if I wasn’t so crazy about Carrie. And she loves you, dude! Of all the men in LA, she chose you. Don’t be an idiot and throw that all away just because your parents sucked.”
It was actually really good advice. He cleared his throat. “But… what if I’m not good enough for her?”
“Then work on it,” she said, like it really was that simple. “Go to couples counselling or something. But do not let that girl be the one that got away.”
Reggie nodded, absorbing Kayla’s words. He straightened his back. “I should… I should probably go find her.”
Kayla grinned. “Ten bucks says she’s at the bar.”
Flynn stirred the straw around her Mojito. The green of the mint leaves reminded her of Reggie’s eyes.
Her foolproof plan that she’d been perfecting for almost ten years had backfired spectacularly. It had hurt every bit as badly as she’d told Carrie it would back in the dressing room of that cute little dress shop. It wasn’t just the fact he’d literally run away the minute she’d confessed how she felt, it was the look on his face. Like he couldn’t believe what he’d heard. Like it was so bad his brain had rejected it entirely.
“I’ll be okay,” she whispered. There was no one around to hear her. The few people who had come up to the bar had taken their drinks and left. Maybe it was the aura she was projecting—a broken-hearted woman in a black dress at a wedding—but she’d been left blissfully alone.
She sipped her drink, enjoying the sweet and sour taste of the alcohol. It was the third one she’d had in less than thirty minutes. Her plan was to get completely shit-faced, head upstairs to her room and cry herself to sleep, then go to brunch tomorrow like nothing had happened. She even planned on making eye contact with Reggie. Maybe. Well, she’d try.
“Is this seat taken?”
Flynn had never understood what the phrase “froze like a deer in headlights” really meant until that second. She took a shallow breath, suddenly feeling like there wasn’t enough air in the room. “Hello, Reggie,” she managed to croak, sounding almost normal.
Reggie sat down, and Flynn kept her face forward, focussed on the bottles lining the back wall of the bar. She cursed herself for having so many drinks so fast. Her tolerance wasn’t terrible, but she knew she’d had enough that schooling her features would be impossible.
She really didn’t want him to know how much she was hurting.
“Kayla did my makeup,” Reggie said.
Flynn’s gaze snapped to his face in an immediate self-betrayal. Her eyes widened and her pulse thrummed the way it always did when she looked at him. “You look gorgeous!”
He blushed, only adding to the effect. “You think so?”
I always think so. She just managed not to blurt it out. “Oh, yeah. Kayla did a good job,” she said instead, proud of how neutral she sounded.
The bartender came over and took Reggie’s order, and they waited in uncomfortable silence until Reggie received his drink. It was an Old Fashioned, because Reggie liked both sweet drinks and the cowboy appeal of the cocktail. It was yet another thing Flynn was going to have to forget about him.
He sipped his drink and smiled his thanks at the bartender, who then astutely left them alone. Reggie shifted in his seat until he was facing more towards her. “Great wedding, huh?”
She eyed him over the top of her drink. “Did you really come over here to talk about the wedding?”
He looked down. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry I ran away like that.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Flynn said with a flippant wave of her hand. “I probably came on too strong anyway. Chalk it up to the romantic setting and the alcohol.” She raised her glass.
“You didn’t,” Reggie said. “It was just…” He paused to take a breath, like he was steeling himself to say something, and Flynn stiffened. She’d been through enough humiliation already for one lifetime. She really didn’t need him to add anything else.
“It’s okay,” she said quickly. “It’s over, okay? And I’ll never, ever do anything like that again.” She smiled, hoping it actually reached her eyes.
“Flynn, that’s not…” He ran his hand through his hair before pinning her with his gaze, more intense than she’d ever seen it, thanks to Kayla’s artistry. “Did you mean it?” he asked, almost pleading. “What you said. Was it true?”
She laughed, uncomfortable and heartbroken. “Why are you asking me this?”
He took her hands, and she let him, unable to pull away. His thumbs caressed her knuckles and she inhaled sharply. He’d never touched her like that before: like they were lovers. “Because I really need to know.”
She couldn’t pull her gaze away from his eyes. Her voice, when she spoke, was a whisper. “Why?”
He gripped her hands. “Because I love you, Flynn. I’ve been in love with you since freshman science. And I need to know if you still love me, even though I’m probably the stupidest man on the planet.”
Flynn’s heart whiplashed from broken to bursting with happiness. “Oh, you’re definitely the stupidest man on the planet,” she said, but she was laughing.
Reggie laughed too, and gently pulled her off her stool to stand in the space between his legs. He took her in his arms. “I love you, Flynn,” He repeated. “I love you.”
“I love you, Reggie,” Flynn said. “And it was music class for me. When you and Luke, Alex and Bobby did that horrible cover of “Summer of Sixty-Nine”.”
“Don’t remind me!” Reggie laughed. “Thank God Julie agreed to join our band, or we’d probably still be awful.”
“You were never awful.” She stroked his face, awed by the fact she could touch him like this now, after so many years of waiting. She smiled to herself, thinking of how well her plan had come together. “You’re the best man I’ve ever met.”
“How can you—” he swallowed, eyes dropping. “Flynn, I’m not good enough for you. You have to know that.”
“Hey,” She gently raised his chin until he was looking her in the eye. “Reggie, you’re the best man I’ve ever met. I knew that when I was fourteen and I know it now.” She smiled. “And you know I’m not stupid.”
“That’s what Kayla said,” Reggie said, and then he kissed her.
Flynn’s hands immediately went to the back of his neck as she held him to her. She’d wanted to kiss him from literally the second she’d first seen him, and the fourteen-year-old girl still inside her was shouting with glee. His mouth tasted sweet from his drink and was sticky from Kayla’s lip gloss, and so perfect she couldn’t help laughing.
He pulled back, his smile as bright as the shine in his green, green eyes. “What’s so funny?”
“I’ve been planning my first kiss with you for ten years,” she said. “And not once did I think it’d involve lip gloss.”
Reggie burst out laughing. “Then you’d better make sure it all comes off,” he said, and kissed her again.
END