Chapter Text
Tommy never had a home.
He had houses, a roof over his head, but never a place to call home, a place where he belonged.
Not even L’manburg had offered the unconditional love and support of his peers.
Though it had the people he used to call family sometimes their love felt conditional, not Tubbos, but Wilburs. Wilbur would shout at Tommy inside the van when nobody was around to listen, about what a fuck up he has been.
But when they were in public again Wilbur wore a smile, to an outsider looking in they were inseparable, brothers if you will. And that’s why Tommy stayed as long as he did, to see if the Wilbur he knew, the one before Pogtopia, before L’manburg, would come back.
Even if it was for a brief visit.
Tommy also had Pogtopia, but that wasn’t home either, and he didn’t pretend it was one.
Tommy liked to focus on the positive memories, the ones of him and Tubbo mining, him and Wilbur singing, and Techno teaching him to fight. Those were good times, the times Tommy didn’t block out so he would have to remember.
Pogtopia had never been a home for anyone, not even Wilbur.
Logstedshire was next. Tommy liked to pretend this place didn’t exist, pretend that it was all just a terrible, fucked up nightmare that a demon had placed in his brain. This place couldn’t be real, the cruelties couldn’t be a reality for him.
Tommy would never speak of the place, not even to Puffy. He never told anyone what happened here, what Dream did, he left them to assume because that was easier than the truth.
Tommy hasn’t visited Logstedshire since, chills go down his spine just looking at where the sand met the ocean, the tall pillar still stood. The one where he was going to end it all. Before he found a will to live before he found Techno.
This place was the first time Tommy had felt safe in years. He had his moments, he had his number of meltdowns, but in the end, they understood it all.
At least he thought they did.
Technos cabin was the only place he felt protected, with two of the strongest people by his side what could hurt him?
They could, apparently.
So here Tommy stood, on the nether bridge to Logstedshire, legs dangling off the edge.
His mind drifted to all the places he used to deem ‘safe’, purposefully skipping over one, the one from when he was twelve.
No one knew of this place, no one except his family, before insane Wilbur, before anarchist Techno, before neglectful Phil. All four of them were a happy family, they would do anything for one another, yet something happened. Now Phil can’t look him in the eye, Wilbur can’t walk in a straight line, and Techno is even quieter than he was before.
He had been warm when all the other places were cold.
Maybe that’s why they never felt like home, what could compare to the one where he was loved?
Tommy stares down at the lava, contemplating to feel again.
The lava beckons him, it reaches its seductive arms out, an invitation for him to join it. The offer was so tempting, Tommy took it, he was going to finally feel warm, finally feel at home.
Tommy fell.
And he didn’t realize the three people he left behind, watching his small, frail body fall helplessly in the lava.