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Loki stroked Mobius’ hair absently, lost in thought. His companion’s soft snoring relaxed Loki to his core, and having Mobius’ head resting on his arm filled him with gratitude and pride.
The quiet stillness of the room was broken softly by the door opening. They had been expecting Sylvie (who had a key), but she was several hours early. She came in briskly before seeing the two in bed. She closed the door more carefully than she’d opened it and tried to move quietly. She set down her backpack and cocked an eyebrow at Loki, who beamed at her in return.
She came beside the bed and spoke low and gentle, “I didn’t know you two were a thing.”
“Just recently,” Loki answered in a whisper. His chest welled up with warmth.
Mobius made a small noise and shifted, wrapping his arm across Loki as he slept.
Sylvie smirked and Loki blushed with a smile.
Sylvie looked Loki over thoughtfully for a moment. “You’re in love!” she accused with playful condescension.
Loki’s face showed defensive denial, but his heart caught him before he could verbally protest. He thought it over. “....maybe…” he confessed. He felt humbled and awed at the prospect.
Sylvie shook her head, “Not very Loki-like. But he’s a good choice, if you’re gonna do it at all.”
“I don’t know what this is, love or otherwise, but you should try it.” Loki teased back, “It feels amazing.”
“No thanks, he’s all yours.” she mocked.
Loki hugged a little tighter on Mobius. “I wasn’t offering. This one’s mine. Get your own!” he chuckled silently.
Sylvie dropped it and got serious. “I found the stone. We should get it to Vanaheim.”
Loki gazed blankly ahead, trying to coax his mind back onto critical matters. Right now he only wanted to spend the morning with his lover.
“Are you listening?”
“Yes. Sorry.” Loki brought his attention back to Sylvie. He knew going to Vanaheim would be dangerous, and he knew Mobius would not want to stay behind. The freshly grown feelings Loki held for him made the risk feel so much more unbearable. “You know...falling in love really is un-Loki-like, you’re right. Terribly inconvenient.”
“Impractical. It’s weak.”
“Vulnerable, not weak.” Loki corrected her.
“Same difference in an emergency.”
“No, it’s not.”
Sylvie gave him an impatient glare, “I don’t have time to argue with your ego.”
“Then don’t. Just accept that you’re wrong.” Loki retorted bitterly.
Mobius inhaled as he stretched, “Hm? Wha’d I miss?” He rubbed his eyes as he propped himself up onto his elbow. As he blinked his eyes open, he suddenly registered that Sylvie was seeing him in bed with Loki. He tensed and froze, eyes wide as his adrenaline woke him up instantly.
Sylvie didn’t react and continued staring at him flatly. Only Loki understood why Mobius was petrified. How could he help Mobius realize it was okay? Not ‘okay to let Sylvie know’...just ‘okay to be queer’. He kept the conversation’s pace casually, hoping it would establish a sense of normalcy for Mobius. “Sylvie brought the stone and we’re discussing how to get it to Vanaheim,”
Mobius couldn’t break his eyes from Sylvie’s. He swallowed nervously. She had always been hard to read, but in this moment he really, really wished he knew what was going through her head. And he absolutely could not ask her.
Loki saw that Mobius hadn’t heard a word he’d said. He would have to establish normalcy some other way. He slid his hand around Mobius’ head and kissed his cheek, making sure to linger long enough that his sexual desire was evident. It could not be misconstrued as some sort of joke between friends. He continued speaking with the same casual tone, “We were thinking it would be best if you keep an eye on things here while we’re gone. Could you do that?”
Sylvie snapped her eyes to Loki, slightly annoyed that he had dragged her into his plan without her consent. She did prefer that Mobius stay safe though. The offense she took was a matter of principle.
Mobius looked back and forth between the two in a panic, still frozen but glad to have Sylvie’s eyes off him.
“It would be for the best,” she affirmed, “What do you say?” She looked back at Mobius, who stammered silently, trying to find his voice.
Loki rubbed his back, unsure how else to help.
By now Sylvie recognized what was happening. After two more seconds of silent waiting, she groaned and spoke with harsh impatience, “It’s OKAY that you’re gay, Mobius. Let’s move on.”
Mobius did find his voice now but not his words, making stammering starts that he couldn’t finish. Everything he thought to say seemed indefensible. He felt impermissibly wrong without any way to atone, so he simply struggled in place, unable to find direction.
“Could you...have a modicum of patience?” Loki asked her with annoyance.
“Don’t ask me, ask the world we’re supposed to be saving.” Sylvie quipped back.
Loki started to make some snark back at her but Mobius interrupted, “I’ll stay.”
The two looked at him, and he continued. He could find words if it was for their sake, to keep them from fighting. “I’ll stay here and make sure everything stays in place. I’ll keep you updated. Maybe we could get some walkie talkies? Or something...um…”
Loki smiled tenderly, feeling so proud of Mobius for finding his voice.
“What’s walkie talkies?” Sylvie puzzled. “Is it an app?”
“We’ll just project to you, Mobius, it will be easier.” Loki said kindly. “Excellent idea to keep one another apprised, by the way.”
Mobius laughed shyly. He mentally kicked himself for not remembering one of Loki’s most-used abilities. He had just been too nervous to think.
“Settled. We’ll leave at dawn.” Sylvie stood and was on her way to collect her belongings without another word.
“Hey, I---good to see you.” Mobius tried to be his cordial self, his own attempt at normalcy.
Sylvie looked over her shoulder on her way out. “Good to see you too, Mobius. And congratulations on your new boyfriend.” She twiddled her fingers goodbye and closed the door behind her.
Mobius flushed bright red and rested his face in his palms, mortified.
The room was quiet. Loki felt awkward, not knowing what to say or how to help. He tapped his fingers together, scrambling for ideas. Finally he wrapped an arm around his hiding companion. “You know, when she asked me about getting together with you, I felt proud.” Loki reflected quietly again on his feelings, how it felt to be loved by Mobius. “I feel honored that you...want me, feel this way about me. It’s flattering. I feel lucky. You’re such a ‘catch’, you know? Being seen next to you like this gives me pride.”
Mobius sniffed and Loki realized he was crying. “I’m sorry…” Mobius whimpered.
Loki leaned in, confused and concerned, “Mobius...wha…?” Loki leaned in front of him, hoping to make eye contact if Mobius would just stop covering his face.
He did look up, and his face was puffy with tears, “I’m sorry Loki. It’s not you. I swear. I…” he sobbed.
Loki took him by the shoulders. He shook his head no, not wanting Mobius to apologize. He silently waited for him to continue talking.
Mobius sniffled and regained a little steadiness, “I think you’re a catch too. I...I’m not ashamed of you. I swear. I’m…” he hung his head, not knowing how to describe what was going on inside. “I’m ashamed of myself.” His explanation didn’t make sense, even to him. How could he say his shame wasn’t about Loki? He was ashamed of being with a man, and Loki was that man. He didn’t understand his shame and he wished he could make Loki know how he felt about him. He had the piercing fear that Loki would feel offended and decide he didn’t need this bs.
Loki rubbed Mobius’ shoulders anxiously, wishing he could soothe whatever pain was tormenting his lover. “Mobius, you don’t have to explain.” He wiped a tear from Mobius’ cheek, “Shame is a lie. I don’t need to understand the lies. You need to understand the truth. I’m right here with you. This is very hard for you, and you’re doing a great job. I’m so proud of you.” He wiped more tears away and kissed his cheek, “Give yourself some patience, for Norns’ sake.”
Mobius met his eyes meekly. Loki’s support had blindsided him, he hadn’t imagined it was a possible outcome. How could Loki see the world like that? How could he feel proud of Mobius in the exact moment he himself felt the most shame? He needed this god, and somehow this god wanted him.
They looked silently into each other’s eyes for a time. Eventually Loki took to stroking his hair, and Mobius could feel his adoration. It confounded him. Why would Loki continue to desire someone with so many hang ups about the very connection they shared?
Loki’s eyes were now looking him over, one focal point at a time, seeming to enjoy every part of him. Loki whispered absently, “I want you.” When he realized he’d said it out loud, with his friend still hurting so much, it struck Loki how selfish that sounded. “---to feel better.” Loki finished, looking back into Mobius’ eyes. Saved it, he thought. But being open with Mobius felt delicious, to the point where lying was starting to feel uncomfortable for the first time in Loki’s life. He held out for as long as he could before confessing. “And I just want you. That too. But I do want you to feel better.” He smiled innocently, hoping that made up for thinking lustful thoughts at a time like this.
Mobius half-laughed, “No amount of shame could change how I feel about you. If you want me...well, you know I’m already yours.” Some of Loki’s loving sounded pretty good to Mobius right about now.
Loki took his face in both hands and kissed him with tender passion.