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Blair Wesley: I know u and Sterl are nerds for Taylor swift so can u pls just listen to this and either do something or stfu? K, thx
It’s not exactly what April was expecting when Blair’s name appeared with a buzz on her phone screen as the sun slowly began to set through her bedroom window. She frowns, unlocking the device before another message appears in it’s little bubble, this time containing a YouTube link. With little consideration, April decides to just take the risk; her parents aren’t home to hear whatever crude video is about to blare through her phones speaker and this assignment is mind numbing, so why not? When April’s thumb presses over the hyperlink though, she’s surprised to see that Blair really did just send her a Taylor Swift song; How You Get The Girl.
April rolls her eyes. It’s not her job, she thinks with a huff, to ‘get’ Sterling when she’s the one who lied to April throughout their entire… whatever they were.
April places her phone aside before she can allow herself to type out a rant on the topic, instead pulling her laptop closer to give attention to the essay that actually deserves her energy. She leaves the song playing though because come on, it’s the 1989 album, how could she not?
That’s her first mistake. The lyrics shyly but surely begin to excite something within April, suggesting that it really could be that simple. All of this grimy tension between her and Sterling could be resolved by a simple conversation, if only she were brave enough to have it.
April takes up her phone again. That’s her second mistake.
If it ever rains here, April references the opening verse, I’ll be sure to appear on your doorstep.
And with that, she tosses her phone onto her bed, ready to act as if this conversation never happened. But when YouTube auto-plays I Know Places, another 1989 masterpiece that April defines as undeniably queer, she huffs and spins in her desk chair to face the offending speaker.
April’s in no mood to face all of this right now. She stands and heads for her wardrobe, pulling out and swiftly changing into an outfit more suited for running. Yes, she may literally be attempting to run away from her problems but that’s all she’s truly got the energy to do with them right now.
After switching to headphones and shoving her phone into her pocket, April sets off, starting an easy but determined jog down her street.
And it’s refreshing, April decides as she continues making her way on shuffle through the 1989 album while her feet slap against the concrete beneath. It’s refreshing to channel these feelings of guilt and regret and insurmountable anger that arise, when songs like All You Had To Do Was Stay blast into her ears, into a physical and tangible exertion of energy. Refreshing yet odd, in a way that makes April, who is sweating and puffing as she continues to push through the exhaustion starting to set in her body, smile. She laughs even, in a strange and almost maniacal way, when Out Of The Woods thrums in her ears, Taylor’s anxieties poking holes in April’s weak resolve about her entire situation with Sterling. And just when she’s about to finally stop running, let herself collapse down onto a grassy park, catch her breath and regret that always chases her with thoughts of Sterling, God closes one door and opens another.
It begins to rain.
April’s feet stutter to a stop when she feels the first cold prick of water connect with her skin. She pulls her headphones off, Taylor’s voice switching from the loud manifestation of April’s ignored thoughts into a distance tune, and looks up to the somehow instantly gray sky.
If it ever rains, she regretfully recalls.
With a roll of her eyes, April reaches up to reposition her headphones, intent on making a hasty retreat back to her own home, but before Taylor can completely suppress the sound of the outside world, April hears it. The first crack of thunder echoes through the sky. And suddenly it’s not just the beginnings of a light shower. Now, the clouds are pouring down with such ferocity that the droplets hit the pavement with a loud smack.
I’ll be sure to appear on your doorstep.
April groans loudly. Her clothes are already half soaked, she’s exhausted, and worst of all, she knows that the Wesley house is infinitely closer to here than her own. She can just see Blair’s smug face now, probably in her warm bedroom laughing over the sudden shift in weather.
Fuck it.
April’s feet pick up their pace again, spurred on by another clap of thunder rolling in. Before she has time to think about how insanely stupid and unhinged it is to just show up at Sterling’s front door after months of not talking, her fist is wrapping loudly on the very entrance. And of course, of course, when the door swings open, who else but Sterling would be standing on the other side, eyebrows shooting up as she registers April’s probably very unnerving form.
“Are you insane?” Sterling’s voice is incredulous as she wraps her hand around April’s wrist and pulls her inside, away from the cold, away from the rain. The door clicks shut behind them and April’s surprised to hear just how silent the house is. It’s so quiet in fact, that the only sound the two can hear above the rain outside, is April’s headphones, still wrapped around the back of her neck, singing You Are In Love at an alarming volume.
April’s hands rush to pull her phone out and cut off the music. Seeing her own hands shaking as they handle the device, April only now realizes just how cold she is. Sterling must have noticed too, probably by the way her jaw is currently out of her control, teeth chattering as she still attempts to catch her breath, because suddenly Sterling’s unwrapping the blanket she had so adorably appeared in the doorway cocooned in, and swinging it around April’s shoulders.
As Sterling pulls the fabric together in front of April’s chest, April reaches up to hold her wrists, looking up at her with an uncharacteristic vulnerability.
Sterling won’t meet her gaze though, her own eyes remaining fixed down onto her own hands still gripping the blanket. But April can feel the heat of Sterling’s skin beneath the ice of her own hands; she knows she’s real. She knows she’s here.
“Sterling–“
“You broke my heart.”
April’s breath catches in her throat and Sterling finally looks at her, which only scares the words stuck on April’s tongue more.
“I know,” she manages though. “I know I did.”
Sterling’s gaze is steely and makes April quickly realize it’s her own job to continue this conversation. What did Taylor suggest?
“I was afraid,” April quickly remembers. “But I shouldn’t have left you alone like that. It was wrong and unfair and…” she breathes, finally allowing herself to settle into her own words – her own thoughts and confessions. “I know,” April’s voice is calmer now, more sure. “And I’m sorry. And I let the actions of my father make me think that you broke mine. And I regret it all the time.”
Sterling is still just looking at her. Looking at her with those god damn eyes of hers that have haunted April’s every waking minute. No, haunted her dreams too. Sterling stares at her with these big, beautiful eyes, but now they’re real. Now they’re in front of April, waiting for her to speak – to fix this.
“I want you,” escapes past April’s lips and she quickly closes her eyes, not sure she could possibly take Sterling’s reaction to the admission. “I want to put your heart back together,” April continues, voice quieter now; tentative. “I want us to be how we used to be. I want what we had.” A shaky breath in gives her a moment to think. “But I can’t be-“
“I could wait,” Sterling interrupts, and just the sound of her voice alone has April’s eyes snapping open to meet her gaze with surprise. “I would wait. I can,” Sterling continues in clarification. “Forever and ever.”
April can’t help the smile that begins to prickle at her lips when she recognizes the quote. “Did Blair send you How You Get The Girl too?”
Sterling laughs then, a breathy, gorgeous sound, nodding. “I wasn’t expecting you to come in with the rain though.”
April manages to actually laugh at herself, shaking her head. “You wouldn’t believe how mad I was when it started pouring down.”
And they’re genuinely giggling together, and when that fades out, they smile, gazes soft on one another. April’s thumbs are absentmindedly caressing against Sterling’s wrist in such a way that her grip loosens on the blanket she still holds securely around April.
“I want you too,” Sterling speaks softly, to which April just shakes her head.
“You already have me.”
And with that, Sterling’s grip is tight again as she pulls April forwarding into a searing kiss. And April’s too relieved by the feeling of Sterling soft, warm lips against her own to even worry about whether anyone else is home, releasing Sterling’s wrists to wrap her arms around her waist instead, pressing their bodies together.
They kiss for all the time they’d lost, for all the words they didn’t get to say, and all the apologies they can’t begin to put down onto words. And if heaven were a place on earth, they might stay that way, glued to one another for a lifetime. But the sound of the front door clicking open behind them quickly shatters that reality as the two pull apart, turning to face the other three Wesleys as they walk through the doorway.
“April,” Debbie says in that surprised tone that tells her daughters she wasn’t prepared to be a host.
“April!” Blair pushes past her father to see the girl with her own two eyes before bursting into laughter. Sterling groans quietly beside April.
“Um, sorry I… I was on a run and the storm started,” April explains awkwardly. “This was the closest place to go. I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind-“
“Of course not, sweetie,” Debbie dismisses her apologetic tone with a wave of her hand. “Look at you, you’re positively soaked to the core.”
“I’m sure she is,” Blair mumbles beside her.
“Sterl, why don’t you take April upstairs and get her a change of clothes,” Anderson suggests with that ever clueless expression. “I’ll get us all a nice bit of hot chocolate going. No better way to fight the weather,” he smiles kindly before wandering off to the kitchen.
“Oh god, Dad I’m coming with you,” Blair is quick to follow.
“Don’t you have homework–“
“I am not going up there with them!”
Their voices peter off as they exit.
Debbie stands, smiling at the two, though it looks more like a question as her gaze shifts back and forth between them. After standing in the discomfort of it for a moment, Sterling groans loudly and grabs April’s hand, spinning them both to march up the stairs.
If Debbie knows something now that she didn’t before, she says nothing. And if Sterling presses April against her bedroom door and helps her remove her wet clothes, no one (bar Blair) is any the wiser.
And that’s how it works.
That’s how April got the girl.