Chapter Text
Will POV
Will gasps for air around the chatter of his teeth and the icy splash of seawater, summoning all of his strength to pull Hannibal's limp body from the ocean. Once they are finally out of the perilous grip of the frigid waves, he clambers up over Hannibal, searching for signs of life. Will had assumed that they would either both die or both live - somehow the possibility of him living and Hannibal dying never crossed his mind and now he is frigthened, like part of himself is dying too; that's how interwoven they have become - like they share one dark soul.
Hannibal's face is slack, skin pale, and his lips are an unnatural shade of blue. Will frantically searches for a pulse, trying to recall his emergency medical training. He tries one side of Hannibal's neck, then the other, and his stomach drops when he can't find one. No. No! This can't be happening. He tilts Hannibal's chin up and brings his face close, hoping against hope to feel even the smallest puff of breath. Again, nothing. He starts to feel sick to his stomach but knows in situations like this every second matters.
He pinches Hannibal's nose as he places his lips over the older man's, watching for his chest to rise with the breath he is sharing. He then starts chest compressions as he straddles his lifeless body, praying to all the gods he doesn't believe in that Hannibal lives. Minutes pass by, maybe hours, Will isn't sure but he keeps going, unwilling to believe what is becoming more and more evident - Hannibal is dead.
Eventually Will's arms collapse under him, having nothing left to give. Will clutches desperately at Hannibal's tattered shirt as hot tears fall down his face. He screams with what little breath he has left, feeling as if he himself is suffocating. "No! No! No!"
Suddenly it feels like the ocean is pulling Hannibal's body out from under him and he panics, realizing in that moment just how much he loves the older man. Will knew that Hannibal was in love with him, and that he loved him too in his own way. But now as he is pained at the loss of what will never be, he regrets every moment they had together that he didn't tell Hannibal that he loved him too. It feels like he's the only one Will has ever loved this intensely and he sobs realizing Hannibal is gone and will never know how he felt. It's too late.
Tears cloud his vision but before Hannibal can slip away into the ocean Will leans down and kisses his cold lips, whispering, "I love you," despite knowing it's too late.
And as if that was what the ocean was waiting for, Hannibal's body slides faster towards the waves, despite Will trying frantically to pull him back. Will tries to hold on but suddenly he can't move his arms. He tries to scream again, "No! No!" but the words get trapped in his throat, as if his lungs are paralyzed. He starts to get hysterical, realizing he can't breathe until-
"Will?"
Will opens his eyes, panting and disoriented.
"Are you okay?" The click of the bedside lamp illuminates Hannibal beside him in bed, face soft with sleep and undeniably alive, staring at him with concern.
"Yeah, sorry. Bad dream."
Hannibal's eyes soften in a way that tugs at Will's heart. "Do you want to talk about it? It's the third time you've had a night terror this week."
Will rubs his face, buying a moment before he has to respond. Part of him wants to tell Hannibal everything, that he keep dreaming the same dream, that he loves him...but another part of him - the self preservation part - holds him back. Even after all they've been through, he can't tell if Hannibal is still trying to manipulate him. And telling Hannibal about the dream just seems like giving him more ammunition.
He yawns before saying, "No thanks, I just want to go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you. Again. Want me to sleep in the other room?"
Hannibal looks more awake now, staring at him curiously. "No, it's quite alright, I'd prefer for you to be close by in case you start sleepwalking again. If that's alright with you."
"That's fine, thanks," Will says, laying back down.
Hannibal nods and turns off the light, shuffling back under the covers.
They've been sharing a bed at Hannibal's Cuban villa for the past six week as they've convalesced from their injuries. The first few weeks were spent just trying to survive, and it made sense to share the large bed in the master suite since Hannibal needed help getting around and Will's face wound looked like it was getting infected. But now...now they are both healed. And without discussing it they have continued sharing the bed out of comfort and familiarity.
And now they are at a metaphorical fork in the road of their relationship. Will knows Hannibal wants a romantic relationship with him. And while Will was unsure before, now he knows he wants that too. The problem isn't that Hannibal is a man. The problem is that he can't bring himself to cross that line when sometimes Hannibal still looks at him like he's plotting something. He can't imagine giving this man his heart if he's just going to toy with him again. What's that phrase? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And will is no fool, despite what he told Hannibal when he was in captivity. Only an idiot does the same thing expecting a different result. Why would Hannibal suddenly become trustworthy now?
In retrospect Will isn't sure why he thought Hannibal would be any different in this new life they are living together. For some reason Will assumed that after killing the dragon and going into hiding that Hannibal would finally treat Will as an equal rather than an amusing plaything, that he would stop being unnecessarily cryptic and vague. And the worst part is that - like most of what Hannibal does - Will can't put his finger on any one specific act, it's just a nebulous gut feeling he can't shake that Hannibal is hiding something. Influence - that's how Bedelia described it. And Will can't be certain Hannibal isn't trying to influence him.
Which makes him wonder, what would Hannibal want him to do? The only thing he knows Hannibal wants but doesn't have is him. And while Hannibal has never overtly pressured him to advance their relationship, Will can't help but wonder if that is what Hannibal is trying to manipulate him into. He supposes knowing this should make him feel powerful, but instead somehow all he feels is trepidation - unsure if he made the right decision, but knowing he can't go back. He just doesn't seem to know how to move forward either...