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“Whaddya want for dinner?”
It’s a simple question, at least V thought it was simple. Unassuming. Not confrontational. Just a question he's probably asked hundreds of times.
Yet something about it set Kerry off like a firecracker on this cool, Californian night.
V doesn’t miss the silent response from Kerry: a cold, side-eyed scowl. He’s only seen that look once or twice and it was never directed at him so V sat confused for a few moments. He traces over everything he said, all four words, wondering what it was that made Kerry upset.
Okay, so nothing about those words seems particularly upsetting. Had to be something from before.
The day was a normal one, the two of them just lounging around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes together. It was easy going, yet while looking back V realizes that Kerry’s been standoffish for the past few hours.
“Is somethin’ wrong?” V asks.
“No.” Kerry’s reply is curt, his eyes never leaving the tablet in his hands.
“Okay, cool.” V mumbles. He ponders whether or not he should ask in a different way or just be upfront about it since obviously something
is
wrong. After a moment he cautiously risks everything and adds, “Because you can tell me if there is somethin’ wrong.”
“Yeah, I know.” Kerry snaps.
“Alright. Well, it just seems like-”
“Fuck, V. Can’t I just have a few fuckin’ minutes to myself? Is it really too much to ask? Or do I have to tell you every single fuckin’ thing I’m thinkin’ at all times?”
Kerry hasn’t called Vellan “V” since he learned his full name. Not one single time. So as soon as V hears the letter leave Kerry's lips he panics. He knew this was bound to happen sooner or later but always hoped it wouldn't be so soon in their relationship. As a couple they rarely fight and when they do it's mild disagreements or lighthearted debates. Kerry’s never spoken to him like this, never actually been angry with him either.
So, naturally, V jumps to conclusions and figures this is it. Kerry’s finally wizened up and decided he can do better, a conclusion V knew he'd come to eventually.
“I’m sorry, I-”
“Don’t fuckin’ apologize. Don’t even fuckin’ start.” Kerry all but yells at his partner. “I don’t need the guilt trip, I just need some fucking air. We’ve been cooped up together for too long. I need space to fuckin’ breathe.”
Kerry gets up and storms outside, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket with short, angry motions before lighting one up.
All that's left around V is pure darkness; Kerry took all the light outside with him. The urge to curl up in a ball and cry is strong but V refuses to do so. Not only would it not solve the problem, it would also just make Kerry more angry.
So he gathers up what little self-respect he possesses and slinks up the flight of stairs to Kerry's bedroom. A duffle bag is pulled from under the bed and set on top of it before V starts shoving his things in it. He doesn’t have much here, doesn’t need much, but what little he does have he packs up in preparation to leave.
This feels too much like a break up to V and it triggers something inside of him, something that screams at him to run. He listens to the voice like gospel in times like this, as it’s never steered him wrong. Running seems like the best option. Kerry wants space? He’ll get it.
Vellan never wanted to hold Kerry down.
So he prepares to let him go.
Stupid things cross his mind like how he'll have to move back into his apartment. After living at Kerry's for the past few weeks, it's going to feel so lonely there. He’ll come back for Mr. Nibbles who’s currently absent and probably outside somewhere. His guitars too, can’t leave those.
In a moment of clarity, V decides that being alone right now probably isn't the right move. So he flicks through his contacts and considers who to call, whose place he can crash at for the night. Shaking his head, V dips into the bathroom and grabs a bag of his stuff, shoving it in the duffle bag before settling on the only name in his phone that made any sense to him.
The line rings a few times as V stops to look at Kerry outside. His back is to V which makes this easier for the both of them. It didn’t need to be a big thing, just a quiet parting of ways. It's not like they've been dating long.
Kerry can move on and V can… Well, he'll figure that out later.
“Mi niño? Estás bien?” Mama Welles’ voice is like a breath of fresh air.
“I’m okay… puedo volver a casa?” V asks, hoping to be able to stay with her until things get sorted.
“Of course, hijo. I’ll get your old bed made.” She replies before they both hang up. Tears stream down V’s face and he is so thankful that she didn’t push for an explanation now. Having a full mental breakdown in Kerry's yard while spilling his guts on the phone was the last thing he needed right now.
…
Hours later, moon high in the sky and a vodka martini in front of him, Kerry Eurodyne sits on the couch staring blankly at the back door of his Villa. He’s already sent out a variety of messages, asking around to find out if anyone's seen his boyfriend. Tried calling V about a hundred times and got nothing. He wants a chance to just hear V's voice, to know he's alright. Given V’s fragile mental state, the rocker was worried sick.
He didn’t mean to come off as harsh as he did. It wasn’t even anything V did or said, just Kerry being a brat in a bad mood. He shakes his head just as Mr. Nibbles struts inside through the cat door.
"Hey there, you sure picked a good time to come home. Could use a hug from my little, naked rat man." Kerry says to the cat as he reaches his hand towards him. It's instantly swatted out of the air with a hiss and Kerry gasps. "Yeah, yeah, you little jackass. I guess I deserved that."
Kerry lays back on the sofa and covers his eyes with his hands, topping the gesture off with a dramatic sigh. Before he can get settled he hears the familiar sound of a notification on his phone and picks it up to see a message from Mama Welles.
He thinks you’re breaking up with him.
What? Why?
Because you yelled at him and he spiraled, as he usually does. You know this but apparently didn’t care enough to pay attention. You told me last time we talked that you’d treat him better than this.
It was one fuckin’ fight, barely even that, I just needed some air.
Don’t you dare curse at me.
Sorry. Look, just tell him to come home. We should talk.
No, he’s staying here for the night. He’s been crying too much to drive and I don’t trust that he won’t do something drastic.
I know…
I’m not going to tell you that you can never get mad at him, or that your two can’t argue. It’s okay to be irritated. But you should be more considerate. He only has you.
He has you, too.
I’m a constant, a motherly figure, but not what he needs in life. He needs you.
I need him, too.
Tell him that, not me. He thinks what you two have is over and it’s killing him. I will not lose my last son. So come by tomorrow, make this right.
Thank you, Guadalupe. I will.
…
Kerry gets to the Welles house early the next day. Well, early for him, anyway. It’s noon when he arrives and is informed by Mama Welles that Vellan hasn’t gotten out of bed yet. This is a bad sign, given that V is typically an early riser. Normally he gets out of bed at the heinous hour of eight am to go running five to six days a week.
Him being in bed this long is a sign that he’s depressed, a condition that Kerry usually tries desperately to steer him far away from.
In V’s old room he finds the man himself, curled up under about a half dozen blankets on the small bed. Kerry sits next to him and places his hand on the back of his little blanket fortress.
“Hey, you.” He says quietly, able to see V’s eyes already open from where he sits.
There’s a long pause before V responds, the air around them feeling chilly and stagnate. “You didn’t have to come.”
“Sure I did. You’re my man, right? I’d be a pretty shitty boyfriend if I didn’t come see you after what happened. I wanted to come last night but Guadalupe said not to.” Kerry says with a light tone, trying to convey to V that he isn’t in a pissy mood anymore.
“Probably for the best. I was a mess.” V mumbles. “I’m sorry that I made you mad. I… I get it if you want me to like… move out or whatever. I know you need space and I don’t mean to be clingy.”
“Why would I ever want you to do that?” Kerry reaches over to brush his hand along V’s jaw, bringing it down to rest by his neck on the other side.
“I just thought… You said you needed space.”
“Babe, you can’t just fall apart and assume everything we’ve built together is dead because of one fight that was hardly a fight and more just me being a dick.”
“I’m sorry…” V mumbles before Kerry’s thumb covers his mouth and stops him from continuing.
“It’s not your fault so stop apologizin’. I’m the one who should be askin’ you for forgiveness. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, it was really fucked up and so, so stupid.”
“It’s okay. I wish I didn’t lose my shit every time something like this happens I just… I’m just weak, I guess.”
“Hey, no. You’re not weak, baby blue. You’re sensitive and soft and beautiful and I love every little piece of you just how it is. Don’t you dare try to change just because I’m a serial asshole.”
At that V finally cracks a smile. “You’re not a serial asshole. Just a fuckin’ bully.” He chuckles and drops his head down to kiss at Kerry’s palm.
“Okay, that’s fair.” Kerry grins before leaning down to kiss V’s forehead.
“So we’re still together and I can still sleep at your place?” V asks innocently.
“Yes, you gonk. You’re stuck with me so you better get used to it.” Kerry winks before V pulls him into a gentle kiss. “Hey, mind if I join you in there? Looks comfy.”
V nods and digs around for an opening to let Kerry in under the blankets. After some careful maneuvering they find themselves cuddled up extremely close so that they can both fit on the twin sized bed. The blankets smell like V, sandalwood and his favorite brand of cigarettes. It’s intoxicating to Kerry, one of his favorite smells in the world, and in seconds his eyes are closed with no intention of opening them again any time soon.
“Nap?” Kerry asks, already settling in for one before V has a chance to respond.
“Kerry it’s noon. I’m gonna assume you just woke up like an hour ago, tops.”
“I know, and now I need a nap. You made me get up so early.” The rocker trails off into a yawn, already falling asleep. He feels V’s arms tighten around him and is asleep before he knows it.
The next few days pass by without further conflict. Kerry continues to try to make it all up to V through gifts and pampering. V insists it's fine, and that he overreacted, but Kerry will hear none of it.
Truth is, he loves spoiling V. Whether by buying him new things, or taking him out to fancy dinners, or even just massaging his feet after a long day. He truly enjoys doing these things, and of course V appreciates the kindness.
Before long they fall back into their routines and wind up happier than ever. Such is the life of two people who happen to be head over heels in love with each other.