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The sun was setting on Mount Jedha College as orange and red leaves rolled like fire across the quad. A breeze knocked the temperature down by five degrees, at least. Lamp lights flickered across campus emitting a golden glow across marble buildings and asphalt parking lots, marking a perpetual golden hour over the night. As a peaceful evening descended on the campus, doors opened all down Greek Row as fraternities opened their doors and sororities closed theirs for a night of parties.
At the end of the row, the president of Nu Xi Rho was having a minor crisis. Rey Palpatine’s room was torn apart. Every hanger was empty and swinging in the closet. Drawers were pulled fully out of the two dressers. Clothes covered the bed, the lamp, and the desk. In the middle of it all she sat, angrily pulling through every piece of clothing she owned.
And that was how Rose and Kaydel found her.
“What the hell did you do, Rey?” Kaydel tried to wade through the clothes to where she was sitting. Rey looked up through her wet eyelashes, eyes puffy, breathing heavily. Her hair was pulled up in her messy, three-bun style. Rose walked over the clothes, sat down, and pried the bedazzled jean jacket out of Rey’s hands.
“I can’t find the right sweater for the party,” she whispered out. It wasn’t just any party, but the first party she would see Ben Solo at since the spring semester. Since he dropped her off at the airport for her summer internship and told her to forget about him and enjoy her summer away. Plot twist, she didn’t. Not in the slightest. She spent her summer working at the Royal Society in London, shopping Camden Market, taking the train to Bath, and wishing that he chose to come with her. He could have, that’s what always upset her. He had internship offers there too and, instead, he chose to work at First Order Law & Investigations for the summer. Thousands of miles away from her.
That day still doesn’t make sense to her. She’s never been able to figure out what went wrong, why he didn’t want her anymore. Everyone knew the timeline at this point, she went over it on so many Zoom calls, FaceTimes, until all of her friends were just as confused as her about what happened. They had gone to dinner with his parents the night before she left. Her grandfather had passed away in January, after a short battle with cancer. She had told him she was scared to go to London alone, with no one around who cared about her.
“I care about you,” he had whispered, “wherever you go or wherever you are.”
Dinner had been fantastic. Leia wasn’t much of a chef but she knew how to order takeout so that everything arrived hot at the same time. It’s an art, she always said. Ben seemed like he actually enjoyed himself. His lack of a relationship with Leia’s brother had caused the family a lot of… tension, to say the least. But, Ben’s therapists and Rey had helped him figure out communicating without devolving into screaming. It had taken time and effort and distance, but he could make it through a holiday. He had even laughed at Han’ stories about Leia as a younger woman. They had spent the night in the guest suite outside, the Solo house was closer to the airport than campus.
Then, the next morning, things had changed. Ben was quiet getting ready. He wasn’t a morning person usually, but that day he had tucked her into his black cardigan and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door. He had never shut the door, even early in their relationship, and he had never parted with the oversized black monstrosity. He always made it clear that the sweater was his only piece of clothing off limits to her. It was made by his grandmother when he was sixteen. She lived on a small island off of Italy, so he rarely saw her but they were extremely close. Ben emerged from the bathroom, grabbed his backpacks and keys, then walked out the door as she finished tucking away her phone charger and laptop into her backpack. She followed behind as he opened her door and walked to get into Ben’s green SUV. The ride to the airport was just as quiet with a terrible energy in the air. They were supposed to park in the garage so he could walk in with her, but he pulled to the carpool lane and stopped. Rey could only watch as he tapped his forehead to the steering wheel and gave a deep, shaky sigh.
“You should go,” he whispered, “you’ll enjoy your summer away. Forget about me and this, you deserve to have the time of your life.” Then, he got out of the car, pulled out her backpack and suitcase, and opened the door. A dark haze covered her as she got out of the car and he helped her into her backpack. It’s been four months now and it still hasn’t left. She just stood on the curb and watched him leave. It was only then she realized she was still wearing his sweater.
The same sweater she was looking for now.
The same sweater she hoped brought him back to her.