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Just before the semester ends, something very odd starts happening to Gavin.
His university is small, one of those private, liberal arts places out in the middle of Ohio, and it’s impossible to have not at least seen every student there, so Gavin finds out about the boys long before they ever speak to him.
Michael, Ray, Geoff, Ryan, and Jack, he thinks their names are. He has Michael in two of his classes, Ryan and Jack together in another, and the dorm room Ray and Michael share is in his hall, though rumor has it they usually stay off-campus at the student house the older three have. The thing that makes them interesting, however, is that they’re all together, the five of them, and they haven’t ever bothered trying to hide it.
Not that they should, of course, or really even need to. People are open minded here, so despite a polygamous relationship being a new concept to most of the students, no one really cares. Meg and Arryn think the five of them are really cute together, and Dan speculated once on how sex must work out, but other than that, he cares about them about as much as he cares about any random couple on campus.
Gavin, in all honesty, thinks they’re all damn cute. The three he’s talked to, the three in his classes, are all really cool and funny, and yeah, maybe it’s stupid and unrealistic, but he’s imagined being a part of the relationship before.
(He feels weird about that at first, imagining he was one of them, especially when he barely knows any of them, but he reminds himself that it’s really no different to doing the same exact thing with other people in his life. Like Burnie, who graduated high school when he was a sophomore, or Barbara, who had been in the same math and English class as him for three years in a row, or even that one random dude he only ever saw in the hallways and hadn’t ever spoken to, Adam. Gavin even had a dream about hooking up with Adam once… And Adam’s boyfriend, Joel, had been there, too. So, you know, maybe honestly that isn’t normal for people, but it’s normal for him, at least, so it makes him feel a little better.)
Idle daydreams are as far as it really goes, though. Again, he’s only spoken to three of them and, while he gets along with them well, they aren’t anything more than casual acquaintances. Nothing would ever really happen, so he settles for passing fantasies in his head and focuses on other things and other people.
Or he tries to, anyway, but then, halfway through the semester, he and Michael take their relationship from casual acquaintances to straight up friends, and it’s all downhill from there. They bond over Pokemon, surprisingly enough, which turns into Halo and Minecraft and Red Dead Redemption and Grand Theft Auto and Skyrim and Game of Thrones and it goes on and on from there. They talk for a good half hour before Michael leaves to go grab food, but by then the damage is done. Gavin has a crush. This is very, very, very bad.
Worse yet, Jack and Ryan are suddenly much more interested in talking to him in their next class, seemingly due to Michael saying something to them, which, okay, a) Michael told his boyfriends about him, and b) now two of them are actually trying to become friends. Gavin manages to keep up a normal conversation about school and video games and movies all throughout the end of class and for awhile after, but he thinks later that he deserves an award for that, because suddenly all he can think about is Ryan’s lovely eyes and stubbly jaw and broad shoulders and Jack’s impressive beard and infectious laugh and nice cologne.
After a week of being actual friends with the three of them, Gavin knows he has a problem. When he likes someone, he tends to go from zero to one hundred very quickly, and it’s just really not a good thing to suddenly have very strong feelings for three different men who are all in a five-way polygamous relationship, his brain can't possibly stress that enough.
(The polygamy gives him hope, though, despite how hard he tries to shove it away. If they each already have four boyfriends, then that means they would be more likely to want to add someone else than, say, Joel and Adam would have been, right? Right?)
Eventually, they introduce him to Geoff and Ray and that’s it. Gavin is too far gone.
They start actually hanging out, the six of them. Sometimes it’s only a few of them, lunch with Ray and Michael, going to the arcade with Geoff, late night studying with Ryan and Jack, movies with everyone except Ryan because he has to work that night, but more often, it’s all six, parties and Xbox live and Netflix marathons and dinner…
“I think you’re in,” Arryn tells him one night in the middle of painting her toes, and Meg, cross legged on the bed with her DS in hand, laughs.
“More like they’re in him,” she adds helpfully, then mumbles something about Tom Nook being an asshole.
Gavin just frowns and doesn’t look up from the episode of American Horror Story playing on his laptop. He wishes that he had gone to the cinema with Dan and his new girlfriend instead of staying in because surely that would’ve been less painful than this. “No one’s inside anyone. They aren’t interested in me, Arryn.”
“Bullshit they aren’t,” she laughs, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “You haven’t seen the way they look at you.”
Gavin doesn’t grace that with a reply, but it sticks in his head for awhile.
You haven’t seen the way they look at you.
Two weeks before the semester ends, Michael walks with Gavin from one of their classes to the cafeteria and, for the first time ever, all four of the rest of the boys show up to lunch at the same time. Usually they eat in pairs or sets of three or even four, but there’s almost always at least two of them missing.
Today, though, they’re all there, and Gavin’s heart skips a beat. He loves being around all five of them, but at the same time, it’s way harder to ignore his feelings when he’s with all of them at once.
“Whatcha want, Gavvy?” Michael leads the way to the food lines and then looks over at him, “It’s on me today, dude.”
“Oh, that’s okay, Michael. I’ve got money,” Gavin smiles back, then turns to find the line with pizza and calzones. It’s his favorite.
Michael follows him, rolls his eyes as if Gavin is stupid for suggesting paying himself, “Gav, please, I’ve got a bunch of money left on that stupid account thing and if I don’t spend it all, this shit’s just gonna go to the school.”
After a second of thought, Gavin shrugs and decides to just go along with it, because this isn’t the first time one of the guys has paid for his meal before and the logic seems pretty damn sound to him, “Alright.”
Lunch goes well and, honestly, it’s nice to have all six of them there goofing around. Gavin heads to his next class grinning like an idiot and he doesn’t care.
The next day, Gavin is stuck in bed with some kind of stomach bug, mostly just sleeping and watching Netflix and whining to the boys over text whenever he’s awake. Around two, Ray shows up, sits beside Gavin on the bed, and watches Sirens with him while Gavin eats the soup Ray brought over for him.
“Cheers, Ray,” Gavin hums sleepily as Ray sets the empty Tupperware container on the bedside table, slumping down again so he’s more comfortable. It’s sweet that he came all the way over from the Gents’ place with soup just for him, but Gavin doesn’t think too much of it. He’s too sick and sleepy, and Ray is warm and letting him cuddle up to him, so he just lets it go.
“No problem, Gav,” Ray runs a hand through Gavin’s hair and he keens happily, “You comfy?”
Gavin leans his head against Ray’s side, feels an arm eventually settle more or less around him, “Mmhmm… Wake me up if you leave, okay?”
“Sure,” Ray agrees, but he doesn’t get the chance to do so, because he ends up laying down and falling asleep with Gavin clinging to him.
That night, around three in the morning, someone pulls the fire alarm in his building. It’s December now, nearing the end of the first semester of the year, and so Gavin, still sick, finds himself wrapped up in his duvet and huddled against Dan’s side out in the snow. He hopes Michael and Ray stayed in their own room that night instead of the house, but he isn’t so lucky, so he just presses closer to Dan and tries to focus on not throwing up. He hadn’t been very ill in the first place, but being out there in the cold is making it worse again, and he hasn’t eaten anything all day except the soup, so he feels weak. And cold. Very, very cold.
Ten minutes later, the alarm in the building is still going off and it’s started snowing again. Gavin is out of it, but Dan’s speaking all of a sudden and it makes him open his eyes, “B… B, look. Ryan’s here.”
Gavin blinks blearily through the snow and sees that yes, okay, Ryan is here, very hurriedly pushing through the other students on his way over to them. Why is Ryan here?
“Gavin,” Ryan sounds worried, wraps Gavin up in a hug and then stiffens slightly when Gavin shivers against him, “Jesus, you’re freezing. Are you okay?”
“He’s kinda out of it,” Dan supplies for him, wrapping his arms around himself now that he doesn’t have to hold Gavin anymore, “He was better before we came down, but I think the snow’s made his fever worse, and he took some medicine a few hours ago, so I think he’s still… Groggy. Or whatever.”
Gavin can feel Ryan’s voice rumbling and vibrating through his chest, and it makes him want to burrow further into his arms, “Fuck, okay. At least it’s mostly because of the meds. I’m gonna… I’m gonna take him back to the house.” He pauses, then adds, “You wanna come with? I dunno how long this alarm is going to take and I don’t want you to freeze out here.”
“Nah,” Dan shakes his head, reaches out to ruffle Gavin’s snowy hair, “I’ll be okay. I have an essay to finish and my laptop is inside.”
“Alright… But let me know when they let you back in, okay?” Ryan waits until Dan promises that he will, then moves so he can look into Gavin’s eyes, “Gav, you with me?”
Gavin nods, gaze sleepy but meeting his after a moment. “Yeah, lovely Ryan. Thanks for saving me. You’re so lovely… We’re going to the house?”
It seems he isn’t in any kind of real medical emergency, just cold and groggy and probably feeling like shit, and Ryan let’s himself relax, laughing as he wraps an arm around Gavin again for support, “Yeah, we’re going back to the house. You need to get warm. Ready to go?”
As they start moving back to the car, Dan calls out to him, “Hey, Ryan! Thanks for coming to get him.”
“No problem,” Ryan smiles back over his shoulder, “Thanks for texting me.”
Gavin spends the next day in bed at the house, wearing borrowed clothes because his were wet from the snow. The boys continue with their daily routines, but there’s always at least one of them at home at a time, and whoever’s there dotes on Gavin and keeps him company.
Despite the setback, by dinner that night, Gavin is pretty much back to normal. He eats the spaghetti Geoff makes, tired of soup and toast, and then falls asleep on the couch in the middle of a Mario Party game with Michael, Ray, and Ryan.
When he wakes up, it’s morning and he’s in the same spare bedroom he spent the previous day in. Ray offers him some clothes to wear, because he’s running late and doesn’t have time to stop back at his dorm, and then he and Michael head out to their first class of the day together.
It feels right.
Because that night is Thursday night and no one ever has classes on Friday, Dan decides to bring his girlfriend back to their dorm for the night. Gavin whines about it a lot, but eventually leaves, packing a change of clothes in his bag and heading down to the lobby of the dorm to figure out his sleeping arrangements for the night.
He could go to Meg and Arryn, because he’s stayed over there before, but their RA, Kara, usually gets pissy about it, so that’s a no. Another option would be Aaron and Chris or Miles and Jon, but Aaron and Chris always end up wanting to do weird shit in the middle of the night that gets them all in trouble, and Gavin is 95% sure that Jon doesn’t like him.
The obvious option after that, because he certainly isn’t about to go stay with Blaine and his weird roommate who everyone thinks is a serial killer, is to call one of the boys and see if they’ll mind him crashing in the spare room again.
He doesn’t even get to take his phone out of his pocket, though, because just as he decides to ask them, Jack steps out of the elevator.
“Oh, hey, Gav,” Jack smiles brightly and stops by where Gavin’s sitting, shifting a textbook from one arm to the other.
“Hi, Jack,” Gavin smiles in return, tilting his head, “Why’re you here?”
“Ray wanted me to grab one of his textbooks for him on my way back from class,” Jack raises his eyebrows then, spotting the duffle bag Gavin is currently sitting on, “Going somewhere?”
Just then, Gavin remembers what he had been planning on asking only a few minutes before and nods, “Well, kinda. Dan, the little prick, brought his girlfriend back to our dorm and kicked me out. I was just trying to figure out where I’m gonna stay tonight.”
Before Gavin can say anymore, Jack laughs, “Man, that sucks. You wanna come back to the house with me? I’m sure the guys won’t mind if you stay over again.”
After agreeing probably a bit too eagerly, Gavin gathers his things and then heads outside with Jack. On the way to the car, Jack asks if he’s had dinner yet and, when he says no, announces they’re stopping at IHOP on the way back.
Gavin almost protests, but it’s rare that he gets to spend time with Jack on his own and he is pretty hungry, so he keeps his mouth shut. They grab a booth beside a window and each order a stack of pancakes.
Gavin isn’t as close to Jack as he is to the other guys. Not for any particular reason, of course, it’s just the way things ended up being, but Gavin likes Jack just as much as the rest of them and it’s to just hang out with him for once.
They goof around for awhile until their food arrives; Gavin drinks two vanilla coffee creamers and is rewarded with Jack’s kind laugh and a balled up straw wrapper to the nose, and then Jack decides to tell an endless amount of bad puns and see how long Gavin can hold a straight face (unsurprisingly, not long). It’s dumb, but it’s fun, and Gavin enjoys him.
As they eat, their conversation turns more serious. They start actually talking about things, about their families and high school and what they plan on doing after college. At some point, they start talking about the existence and significance of human lives and Gavin decides that topic is too heavy for a stomach full of pancakes and cheeks aching from earlier laughter, so he starts to ask some of his infamously weird, ridiculous questions to change the topic.
Jack and Ryan are the only ones who ever take his questions seriously, actually try talking them out or speculating with him, and Gavin appreciates it. He appreciates Jack’s understanding and his kindness and his humor, and he appreciates this, sitting inside IHOP at eight o’clock at night goofing off and talking about everything and anything and nothing all at once.
That night, he thinks about it as he lays in the spare bed, thinks about Jack’s smile and headlights reflecting off his glasses and snowflakes sticking to his beard.
“I’m so screwed,” Gavin sighs at the ceiling, turns over onto his stomach, and goes to sleep.
Friday night, Gavin goes to a concert a few towns over with Blaine, Aaron, Arryn, Miles, Michael, Geoff, and Jack. It’s some band Gavin hasn’t ever heard of, but half of his friends are really into them and it ends up being a great concert, so he doesn’t mind. When it’s over, they all go to a club down the street and Gavin, being Gavin, gets totally smashed.
Everyone else does, too, though, except the designated drivers, Aaron and Jack, so Gavin tells himself it’s alright as he finishes off his beer and then pulls Geoff with him out onto the dance floor. Geoff tries telling him that he doesn’t dance, but Gavin just laughs and points at Michael and Jack a few feet away, “If Jack dances, love, then you dance.”
It’s real fucking bold, talking like that, dancing up on Geoff like he does a few minutes into the song, but he’s drunk and his inhibitions are nonexistent and did he mention he’s drunk? Drunk Gavin is the only one who’s any good at hitting on people, so when given the opportunity, drunk Gavin usually goes for it.
If Gavin was thinking more clearly, he might worry more about how badly Geoff could react to Gavin grinding on him, because Geoff is taken by people who aren’t Gavin, two of which are right beside them.
If Gavin was thinking more clearly, he would also be more surprised about how Geoff actually reacts. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but instead of pushing Gavin away, Geoff… Encourages it. He sets his hands on Gavin’s hips and pulls until there isn’t any space between the two of them, grins when Gavin tosses his arms around Geoff’s neck in response. At that point, they’re dancing up on each other and one look tells Gavin that Jack and Michael are doing almost the same thing, except they’re making out, too, and wow, okay, Gavin does not need that image to be burned into his mind forever, but there it is, anyway.
“Loosen up, Gav,” Geoff speaks into his ear and it makes Gavin shiver, much more turned on than he wants to be while dancing with someone else’s boyfriend who he happens to be very attracted to, “Dancing is supposed to be fun.”
And it is. Christ, it is. They dance forever, it feels like, but really only for a couple of songs, and then break apart when Jack cuts in and asks if either of them wants another drink. Gavin, breathless and flushed and feeling far too sobered by both the erection straining against his jeans and the sudden shame rushing through him when he realizes Jack saw them together, nods frantically. Jack disappears in the crowd again and when Gavin looks over at Geoff again, Michael is there, at his side.
He smiles weakly at them and makes a beeline for the table.
By the time they leave, Jack driving and Gavin and Michael sprawled out on top of one another in the backseat, Gavin’s put enough alcohol in his system again to have forgotten about the whole thing. When they get back to campus, Jack drives straight to the house and they all pile out of the car and go to bed without really talking about it.
Gavin lays in bed, listens to what he’s almost positive is the guys fooling around down the hall, and suddenly feels out of place.
“What am I doing?” He shuts his eyes tight, presses the heels of his palms against them, and lets out a shaky breath, “What am I doing?”
It wasn’t his place to dance with Geoff earlier, it wasn’t his place to go with Jack to IHOP, it wasn’t his place to let Ryan or Ray take care of him or Michael pay for his lunch, it wasn’t his place to start hanging out with them so much, and it isn’t his damn place to be in this house or to fall in love with them.
Christ, he’s so stupid.
Very, very late the next morning, nearing noon, the six of them go out to a local diner for a greasy breakfast, because Michael mentions something about that helping hangovers and they’re all hungry, anyway.
Gavin is quiet the whole morning, remembering only parts of their time at the bar but most of his self-pitying late night thoughts. Michael and Ray take turns trying to provoke him into joining the conversation, and Jack tries offering him his last piece of bacon, but Gavin remains pretty quiet, heading back to his dorm afterwards.
Most of the weekend is spent in bed after that, occasionally replying to texts but otherwise not really talking to anyone except Dan and Meg. He feels like such a fucking idiot, being so upset about this, but he can’t help it.
He just wants them so bad now, wants to hold Geoff’s hand while they walk through the quad, wants to curl up against Ryan’s side on the couch during movie marathons, wants to give Ray a kiss goodbye as they go to their separate classes in the morning. He wants to be a part of what the boys have, to share a bed with them and spend all his time with them and love them, and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. He doesn’t know if he should believe in the possibility that the guys have feelings for him, too, because he really thinks that they don’t but his heart still hopes that they do. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to think or do or say.
He just doesn’t know.
Fortunately for Gavin, he doesn’t have to know, because his boys do.
The final week of the semester begins and Gavin finally gets out of bed early Monday morning for class, kicking Dan’s bed to wake him up in time for his class on the way out the door. This is one of his two classes with Michael and his stomach is all twisted up into knots that make him want to throw up, but he tries telling himself it’ll be okay, it’ll only be awkward if he makes it because Michael doesn’t know anything.
All he has to do is get through this week and finals week and then he has a full month to be away from the guys and get over them. Everything will be fine.
It’s a lecture day so Gavin and Michael don’t have the opportunity to talk to much, and Michael lets him go back to his dorm instead of to the cafeteria with him afterwards without too much of a fuss.
Gavin doesn’t see any of them again until Wednesday. When he gets back from lunch with Blaine and Meg, the boys, all five of them, are in his dorm.
“Jesus!” He squawks when he sees them, leaning back against the door and clutching at his chest with one hand, “Where’d you all come from?!”
“Our mom’s vaginas,” Ray offers helpfully, sitting with Jack on his bed. Michael’s on Dan’s bed, Ryan is sitting at the desk, and Geoff is standing in the space between.
Gavin huffs, dropping his arm and moving further into the room to set his stuff down, “Shut up, Ray.”
“We wanted to talk to you,” Geoff steps aside so Gavin can get over to his desk, settling again beside Dan’s bed.
At that, Michael snorts, “Jumping right in, alright, Geoff.”
“What?” Geoff makes a face at Michael, “You wanna sit around with your dick in your hand and talk about the weather, dumbass?”
“No, but you’re gonna freak him out!” Michael squints at Geoff, making it obvious he thinks he’s acting dumb, and then looks over at Gavin, “Don’t worry, Gav. Nothing to freak out about.”
Despite Michael’s words, Gavin still shuffles nervously where he’s now stood in the center of the room, “Okay… What is it, then?”
This must be it. This must be where they tell him that they’ve noticed that he’s into them and they don’t want anything to do with him, this is where they reject him, this is where they tell him he’s not ever going to have a part in their relationship.
Being in love certainly is emotionally draining.
“You with us, Gavin?”
Ryan’s voice, low and comforting, brings Gavin back to reality and he blinks owlishly for a moment, “What?”
Ray snorts, mumbles fondly, “Dumbass…”
“Shut up, idiot. Gavin,” Geoff is speaking that time, and Gavin turns to look at him, nerves sparking up again, “As you know, me, Michael, Ryan, Ray, and Jack are all together.”
“Yeah…” He doesn’t want to hear it, he doesn’t want to hear it, he doesn’t want to hear it.
“Well, we were thinking,” Geoff starts, but then trails off, eyeing the others and raising his eyebrows.
Whatever that means, they seem to understand, because Jack stands then but doesn’t move closer, “Would you do us the honor, Gav, of going out with us?”
Gavin’s brain flatout short circuits at that, mind entirely blank, and it takes a long couple of seconds for him to be able to form words again, “What?” His voice sounds much smaller, much more unsure of himself, than he intends, but he can’t bring himself to care too much about that.
“We want to date you,” Ryan stands and then Ray and Michael do, too, but still, no one comes closer. Gavin appreciates it, honestly, because his head is spinning and it feels like there isn’t enough space in this room.
“What?” He says again, really genuinely unable to wrap his head around the words, “You guys want--... You wanna date me?”
Ray nods, smiling warmly, and Gavin is reminded of the day last week Ray had taken care of him, the day they spent hours playing Super Smash Bros., the first day they met, “Yeah. We want you to be our boyfriend, too.”
“A six-way fuckfest,” Michael’s joke earns him a jab in the side from Geoff’s elbow, but it does lessen the tension a bit, “Seriously, Gav. I’ve liked you since that day we talked about Pokemon in class, and we’ve all liked you for a long ass time. If you want to or whatever, then we want you to be our boyfriend.”
Finally, Geoff steps towards him, setting a hand on his shoulder with a genuine smile, “If you need some time to think about it, bud, then--”
“Yes,” Gavin blurts out the word without even realizing he’s about to speak, eyes growing wide and cheeks flushing only a moment later, “I--I mean, y’know, I just… Yeah. Yeah. I’d really, really like that, if we could--if we dated.”
The grins he gets in return are nearly blinding and Gavin, as he’s wrapped up one by one in five pairs of arms, wonders how the hell he got so lucky. Just last week he had been so torn up about it, positive the boys would never return his feelings, but now…
Now, here he is.
“Alright,” Ryan cuts in after a long time spent hugging and laughing and smiling until their cheeks hurt, “Are you guys ready to go home?”
Gavin keeps grinning like a damn fool at each of them, reaches out and takes Geoff’s hand in his own, and feels like he’s literally going to implode from how happy he is, “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Let’s go, idiots,” Geoff laughs, ushers them out into the hall, and they go whooping and laughing and bouncing, ready to go back to the house.
To go home, Gavin corrects himself with a giggle, home with his boys.