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The trick was, James mused, to keep him in sight without him realising that he was being watched. Weaving between the jostling audience and the crew trailing cables and shouting directions, under the hot lights and in the occasional freezing draught from outside, he'd almost perfected the art of knowing precisely where Richard was at any one time.
Which meant, when in the middle of a particularly tiring day's filming, Richard wandered inconspicuously to the edge of the bustle and swayed tiredly with his hand to his eyes, the only person to see it was James.
He walked over and touched Richard's sleeve. "You alright?" he asked quietly.
Richard looked annoyed and opened his mouth to protest. James stopped him with a raised finger.
"I just saw you apparently about to pass out, and you look like shit. So don't give me some bollocks about being fine. What's up?" He was still murmuring under his breath, inaudible to the surrounding crowd, for which Richard was grateful.
Richard rubbed his eyes again. "Really, I am fine. I'm just - tired I guess." He looked at the floor and muttered something so quietly that James only just caught it.
"I just get tired - quicker. Sometimes. It's nothing."
Looked up and glared at James, daring him to make something of it.
"Well, look, it's going to be ages before they're ready for us again, why don't you go and have a rest somewhere?"
James' words were drowned out by a crash from one side of the studio as some hapless crewman knocked over a stack of equipment, followed by indignant yelling. From the other side of the room came the sound of alternate shouting and barking, as Jeremy apparently carried on an argument with TG.
Richard raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, really relaxing in here mate."
James persisted. "Well go and sit in your car then."
"Came on the bike." Richard was looking like he was trying not to laugh now, but he still wore an underlying haunted look that made James all the more determined to make him go and rest.
He held out his keys. "Go and sit in mine then. Go on, go and lie down in the back or something. I'll come and find you when they're ready."
Then, when Richard looked like he was going to come up with another excuse, "I promise I won't tell anyone."
Realising that James actually did know what he was thinking brought Richard up with a start, and he grudgingly reached out and took the car keys.
Walking away, he stopped and looked back, gave a half smile. "Thanks mate." he whispered. James smiled back, fighting a sudden urge to reach out and hug him.
"Where the hell's Hammond?"
James looked up at the bellow from the floor and said hastily, "I'll go and find him."
Sticking his head out of the door, he wrinkled his nose as he realised it had started to rain. Shrugged into his jacket, and slung Richard's over his arm, before braving the downpour.
He peered through the car window. Richard was fast asleep on the back seat, underneath the travel rug. All he could see was a flash of dark hair, pale skin and the curled fingers of one hand. His heart gave a peculiar lurch at the sight, but he was well practised by now at swallowing his feelings.
James stood there in the pouring rain and wished he didn't have to wake him up. Knew that if he didn't, others would be out here looking, and then Richard would never forgive him.
Reluctantly, he knocked softly on the window. Saw a sleep-dazed face emerge from the folds of the rug, a frown creasing the brow.
Richard squinted through the raindrops on the glass, and pushed opened the door, beckoning. James hesitated, then slid on to the seat next to him.
"Feeling better?"
"Yeah, I am actually. Um. Thanks. For - you know. Being a pain in the arse that won't take no for an answer."
James smiled. "Anytime."
Richard opened his mouth to say something else, then thought better of it. James looked at him quizzically. He seemed to come to a decision.
"Did you - did you mean it, when you said I looked like shit?"
James was taken aback.
"Well, I, er..." he looked at Richard, taking in the dark circles under his eyes, the too-thin figure. Those eyes looking so black in the gloom, staring back at him from pale skin. Beautiful, he thought. The word is beautiful.
The rain continued to fall on the car, and the windows were gradually steaming over from their breath, cocooning them away from the world, inviting confidences.
"You really want to know?"
Richard nodded, hesitantly.
"You look - fragile. God, so fragile. It makes me want to - " James broke off, wishing he hadn't said anything, wishing he could bite off his tongue.
"Want to what?"
Whatever he'd expected, it hadn't been that quiet enquiry. Found he was replying, despite himself.
"Protect you."
Richard laughed then, but gently. "From what?"
"Everything," said James, simply. "The world. And I shouldn't be saying any of this, because I can't imagine there's anything you'd hate more than thinking I was trying to shelter you from something."
He fumbled with the door handle, suddenly filled with a need to run as far as he could from the things he should never have said, had sworn to himself he would never say.
Realised Richard was gripping his arm.
Eventually turned unwillingly back, when it became apparent that it was that or drag Richard out of the car with him.
"If it's things we shouldn't say?" Richard's voice was only just above a whisper. "Sometimes - just sometimes - it all gets too much. The noise, the effort, the concentration. And there's no way I can ever say so. Not after everything else I've said. And you know what's really crazy? When it gets like that, sometimes? I think the only thing in the world that could make it better, could hold me together, would be to have your arms round me."
He paused for breath. James appeared to have stopped breathing at all.
Blue eyes met brown. They stared at each other.
"Richard, I - oh God, Richard." James broke first, leant forward and pulled Richard into his embrace.
With Richard's arms tight round his neck, James buried his face in Richard's hair, and they clung together as tightly as if their lives depended on it.
Outside, the rain stopped.
Richard could feel James' heart thumping against his chest, and that told him everything else he needed to know. He brushed his fingers gently over James' lips.
When James looked up, Richard moved his face slowly closer, a question in his eyes.
Hovered just a breath away.
Moth-light, kissed James on the mouth.
Pulled back a tiny space, and then James was leaning forward of his own volition. Their lips met, and for a while nothing else in the world existed for them apart from each other.
In the distance, a door banged.
They jumped, and pulled apart.
"I was supposed to be fetching you," remembered a rather flushed James.
"We'd better go in then?" grinned Richard.
Hot lights, clamouring audience, convoluted lines to remember. James stood close behind Richard, not quite touching, but comforting with his presence. And he smiled, as he knew he'd never have to watch Richard out of the corner of his eye again.