Work Text:
I drop to my knees and gasp. I can’t move. Can’t breathe. Everything is going dark. Black slop coughs up from my lungs. What will it form into this time? The black surrounds me. It always goes like this. Always someone I’ve disappointed. My grandpa comes up this time. Wondering why I’ve been so selfish. He died and I can’t even get away from a few cigarettes. He leaves. More slop. It’s violent now. Wheezing out the slop that never seems to end. I grasp my throat. Maybe then it’ll stop. It doesn’t stop. I’ve tried this a million times. It never works. Tears stream down and mix with the slop continuing to crawl and dredge up my throat. It mixes and swirls around turning into more illusions. I close my eyes. It can’t get me. It can’t get me. It can’t get me. I feel a hand on my shoulder. Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look. I hear it’s voice. Don’t listen. Don’t listen. Don’t listen. If I try hard enough maybe it’ll go away. Another method I’ve used. Another one that doesn’t work. Why can’t I just go back to how I was? I was so happy then. Claws come across my back. In surprise I dredge up more slop. It won’t stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. STOP. Did it? Has it ever? The walls are painted in it now. Reminding me of my filth. My pure white clothes, stained. I try to wipe it off. Slop covers it again. I can feel stares and hear gasps. Who are they? Do I recognize them? Do they recognize me? I’ve changed so much already. If I tried getting out of here, would they point? Of course they would. They’ve never seen such filth. Another drop of slop. I try to get up but it pulls me back down. I slip. Falling into the slop. Gradually sinking. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. I can’t open my eyes. Can’t move. I feel tears streaming down my face. I gasp. I’m back in the room.