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If there is one thing Neal is dreading, it’s his upcoming field trip (“don’t call it a field trip, it’s a serious FBI investigation”) to Gotham.
Neal knows it’s ridiculous to investigate white collar crime in a place like Gotham and he knows that the New York City schmucks don’t understand the absurdity of it.
Gotham is a place of rumor to them. And by rumor, he means ‘people hear about the crazy shit that goes on inside the city limits and don’t believe it.’
Apparently, there’s a severe lack of consequence for white collar crime in Gotham and Peter’s team is the one giving the ‘white collar crime is bad’ speech to the Gotham PD.
And, because Peter is Neal’s handler, Neal’s coming along.
The evening before their trip, Diana, Jones, and Neal are sat in a conference room with a big projector at the front with a very serious looking Peter standing beside it.
“Alright, team,” Peter says. “Now, I know that we’re merely going into Gotham for the conference on white collar crime, but — as is required for any case in Gotham — there is a required briefing on what they call the ‘Gotham Rogues Gallery’ and their M.O. It is imperative that we be prepared in case of any sort of emergency caused by these criminals.”
Neal knocks his head on the back of his chair and stares at the ceiling with a pinched expression.
Oh great.
This won’t go wrong at all.
Peter takes a seat next to Neal, projector remote in hand. “This is a pre-made presentation made by a representative from the Gotham Police Department. So, let’s get started.”
On the screen is a picture of Gotham’s skyline with the words “Gotham Rogues Gallery in Summary” with “written by Robin III” in smaller letters.
Neal buries his face in his hands, stifling a groan.
A big block of text pops up on the screen. It reads “Gotham City has an inordinate amount of violent terroristic villains. So, when coming for a visit, you must be prepared. This presentation will contain videos depicting these villains in action. Some of these pictures will be graphic. You have been warned.”
The first group of videos are the lesser threats of Gotham. Calendar Man, Polka Dot Man, Condiment King.
Diana, Jones, and Peter scoff in disbelief at the hokey antics. Neal does not. He knows the damage they can cause, even as annoying as they can be.
It ups the ante after that.
Mr. Freeze. Penguin. Riddler.
The joking suddenly halts. They watch in horrified silence at the cruel way these villains play with their victims.
Two Face. Poison Ivy. Scarecrow.
The tension in the room gets palpable. Neal can feel himself slipping back into his mind, getting thrown into his teenage years.
And then.
Oh God.
And then.
Joker and Harley Quinn.
This one, Neal feels himself frozen to his spot. His palms are unbearably sweaty. Every muscle in his body is tense and he can feel the bile rising up his throat at every photo.
He doesn’t know why he doesn’t look away. It’s almost like he’s trying to torture himself. Torture himself with the man that tortured him.
Thankfully, the slides end, and he thinks that’ll be it.
Until.
In big bold letters reads “The Red Hood.”
And now Neal feels himself sinking into his seat. Oh no.
The worst part is, he was going to tell the team his identity. He finally has clearance to finally share with them the whole reason he joined them in the first place. He finally gets the chance to come clean with the first real friends he’s ever had.
But now… oh God.
“Red Hood is an FBI Most Wanted Criminal.” The screen says.
There are photos of him decapitating drug dealers, sending headshots into rapist’s foreheads, and cutting the hands off of grabby pimps.
How embarrassing.
Then, for no reason at all except for the fact that Tim hates him, there is a compilation of faraway (thankfully blurry) photos of him without his helmet.
One where he’s smoking next to his favorite gargoyle, one where he’s devouring a chili dog (oh my God, Tim, did you have to take the most unflattering photo of me possible) and… oh no. And one of him making out with Roy.
This has been shown to every government sanctioned group that went to Gotham.
Oh, he’s gonna break Tim’s coffee machine.
He’s gonna shatter it into itty bitty pieces.
Next are photos of him being chased by the bats. To an outsider, this may look like avigilante vs villain sort of chase but really these are from a nightly game of rooftop tag.
Finally, are more pictures of him violently murdering people, seriously Tim you’re making this identity reveal so much more difficult and awkward.
The video ends with a gif of confetti falling over a rainbow and the words “Thanks for watching!” in big neon comic sans.
It is absolutely silent in the conference room.
Diana is looking a little sick, Jones looking like he’s seconds from dissociating, and Peter with tight fists and a clenched jaw.
“So,” Peter says. “That’s…”
He doesn’t continue. It stays silent.
“We meet at the train station at six o’clock sharp,” Peter says. “You’re… you’re free to go.”
Diana and Jones leave the room, minds clearly far away.
“Neal,” Peter says. “Are you alright? I know you’ve never been exposed to violence like that before.”
“I…” Neal stops. “I’ll be okay.”
Peter softens, worry evident in the way his face falls into a frown. “You—”
“Can I just go home?” Neal asks.
“Yeah,” Peter says. “You can go home.”
The whole night, Neal can’t escape the confines of his green tinted mind. He doesn’t sleep. Just stares at his ceiling, contemplating everything about himself.
Will his friends still accept him if they knew the truth about him? When they saw how he…
The inspirational Facebook art always says to never let your past define you.
But shouldn’t it? Shouldn’t a past filled with destruction and despair and death define him? Shouldn’t he be held accountable for his sins?
It was silly to think that he could just tell them. That he could finally confide in someone who wasn’t part of that world. That he could be accepted for what he is and was and will be.
Tomorrow, he’s going to the place that harbors his darkest secrets, ones that he has kept under lock and key for this long, and he isn’t sure he’s ready.
But when will he ever be ready to face the reality of his own self?
Tomorrow.
He just has to get through tomorrow.