Chapter Text
There was a leak in the ceiling.
Considering the mansion had just recently been finished, Tommy was a little pissed. Wasn’t a roof supposed to be covered, he thought wryly as he dropped one towel and replaced it with another.
Ranboo and Tommy were currently trying their best to keep most of the water from coming in the house, or at least catch it in buckets. With a toddler running around their feet, however, it was difficult.
“Come on, where is Tubbo?” Tommy muttered, scrunching his nose up when a drop of water fell onto his face. He was standing on some scaffolding, holding towels up to the ceiling in an attempt to try and slow the water until Foolish could come to take a look.
The trio had already filled and dumped the few buckets they owned, but it was pouring outside, so Tommy decided to try this idea instead.
Clearly, it was not working as well as he had hoped.
“He should be back soon,” Ranboo responded, and though his shirt sleeves were rolled up and he held a bucket, the Ender-hybrid was standing a good twenty feet away from the leak.
Tommy rolled his eyes. The man was useless.
A little voice in the back of his head, one that sounded suspiciously like Puffy, chided him.
“No, Tommy, he’s not useless, we don’t think about other people like that.”
Okay, so Ranboo was useless at the moment—
“Tommy.”
—because he would get seriously hurt if he came anywhere near the water, and Tommy didn’t want his husband to get hurt...nor did he want to deal with cleaning up burns tonight.
Imaginary Puffy shook her head, though she was smiling a little. “Better.”
Tommy shook his own head, brushing his therapist out of his mind and turning his attention back to the task.
Finally, finally, Tommy heard the front door opening, and he almost cried in relief. His arms were getting tired from holding towels up to the ceiling.
“Oh thank Prime,” Tommy groaned. “Ranboo, grab Michael before he slips on the wet floor. Tubbo!” he yelled down the stairs. “Get your ass up here!”
Ranboo scooped up the toddler and covered Michael’s ears, making an offended noise. “Language!” he gasped, doing an uncanny impression of Bad.
Tommy knew the older boy was teasing, but he really did have to start watching his language around the zombie-piglin toddler. The other day, the trio had walked in on Michael jumping on his bed and singing “shit” over and over.
The looks he got from his husbands that day were scathing.
Foolish and Tubbo were making their way up the stairs, chatting quietly about the damage. The totem-shark god’s shoes were wet, and Tommy winced; he’d have to clean the entire floor up later, so Ranboo didn’t step in any water and burn himself.
Prime, his husbands were so much work, Tommy bemoaned to himself.
...but he did love them.
Foolish was carrying a large metal toolbox. He set it down on the floor, rifling through it in search of something before coming up with a hammer, some wood, and a few nails.
“Hopefully, I should be able to just patch this spot up, no problems,” he was telling Tubbo and Ranboo, who were nodding along.
The totem finally looked to the ceiling, spotting Tommy, who was still standing on the scaffolding, arms outstretched.
“Oh, Tommy,” he said. “What are you doing here?” Then he did a double-take. “Oh! I haven’t seen you since you died!”
Tommy flinched, dropping his arms in the process and letting the rain begin to pour in again, this time, all over Tommy. The towels fell to the floor with a splat.
Tubbo winced from beside Foolish. Clearly, he knew just as well as Tommy that the other man had absolutely no tact whatsoever.
He gave a small wave, probably looking absolutely miserable from the way Tubbo’s frown quickly morphed into his trying-not-to-laugh face.
“Hello, Foolish,” Tommy said, just happy they were able to get the man over tonight, rather than let the rain continue to soak into the wood floor. He was exhausted.
Luckily, Ranboo sensed their discomfort and stepped in.
“Mmm-hmm, Tommy’s living with us now. If you could just take a look at this?” he asked, gesturing to the ceiling and flinching away when some water dripped down Tommy’s arm and hurtled towards the floor.
Tommy shot his husband a grateful look, but Ranboo only smiled.
Foolish climbed up the scaffolding, taking Tommy’s place as the other began his descent. Foolish examined the area, pulling out a few building materials from the box he had brought along. Suddenly, the totem shark let out a yell, startling the three boys watching him below.
“Oh! There’s the hole I missed! Everyone was saying I missed it, but I couldn’t find it for the life of me! They were right! You were right, guys!”
The three husbands exchanged a look. Foolish definitely needed some sleep, if he had started hearing voices while he worked.
Tommy wandered off while Foolish did his thing, deciding to start making hot cocoa for the little family. The least he could do would be getting all the ingredients out; they could all make the drinks together then!
Once he had everything laid out, Tommy left the mugs sitting on the counter and made his way back up the stairs to check in on the progress. To his surprise, Foolish was already packing his tools away.
“Done already?” he asked, disbelief coloring his tone.
Foolish looked up and laughed. “Yep! It was only a little patch, so it didn’t take me long at all.”
Tommy nodded. “How much do we owe you?”
“Don’t worry about it. I was the one who missed the block in the first place,” he said, then mumbled, “even though I triple-checked it.”
Tommy didn’t even want to know at this point.
Just then, Tubbo walked out of their room onto the landing, Ranboo following close behind. The Ender-hybrid seemed to be pleading for something from Tubbo, given the puppy-dog eyes and pout on his lips.
“Tommy,” Tubbo said, dashing over to wrap his arms around Tommy’s torso. “You’re my favorite husband now.”
Tommy laughed, but he kept an eye on Foolish out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t know how the totem-shark god would react, and he sure wasn’t letting the man hurt either of his husbands. God or not, Foolish would be no match for the great Tommy Innit when he had something to protect.
“What did Ranboob do now?” Tommy asked, carding his hands through Tubbo’s hair gently.
“Why do you think I did anything wrong?” Ranboo said, pouting at Michael, who was still resting on his hip. The little zombie-piglin giggled, making the face back at Ranboo before laughing again.
Tommy smiled fondly at the pair.
Tubbo still hadn’t let go of Tommy, though he stood on his tiptoes to get a little closer to Tommy’s ear. When he still couldn’t reach, the goat-hybrid huffed. “Bend down a little, would you?”
The blond smirked. “What, having trouble there, Bee boy?”
“Oh, shut up,” Tubbo rolled his eyes, pulling Tommy down by the collar of his shirt. “Ranboo said he puts the milk in before the cereal.”
Tommy looked up at Ranboo in shock. “How dare you,” he growled pointing an accusing finger. “Tubbo, my beloved, you are absolutely correct. Ranboo, we’re divorcing you. Get out of our mansion now.”
“Wha—I literally paid for this entire place!”
Tommy shook his head. “Nope. No one who thinks milk comes before cereal can live in this household. Cereal first supremacy.”
Tubbo grinned, running over to Ranboo and beginning to shove him towards the stairs.
“Wait!!” Ranboo dug his heels in the carpet, preventing Tubbo from pushing him further, even as the goat-hybrid threw all his weight behind it. “I have Michael! You can’t make me leave when I have your son!”
“He’s your son too,” Tubbo pointed out, though he didn’t stop pushing. Ranboo slid a few inches before digging his heels in further, holding his ground.
Tommy walked over and carefully plucked Michael out of Ranboo’s arms. “There,” he said. “Problem solved. Now get out, you fucker.”
A laugh sounded that wasn’t from any of the three boys. The trio froze. Tommy had forgotten Foolish was still here.
Tubbo stopped pushing suddenly, causing the Ender-hybrid to stumble backward and land in the shorter boy’s arms. He flushed purple as Tubbo grinned wolfishly down at him.
“Hello, beloved,” Tubbo said. “I think you just fell for me.”
Ranboo rolled his eyes, though he let his husband pull him to his feet.
“Not in front of the guest,” Ranboo muttered, rubbing the back of his neck as Tubbo just laughed.
“Yeah, I’m here!” Tommy said, pretending to look scandalized at the other two’s antics.
Tubbo and Ranboo both turned to Tommy at the same time, sticking their tongues out childishly.
Tommy rolled his eyes. “Honestly. Why would anyone marry you two?”
“I don’t know, Tommy,” Ranboo said, walking over to the third boy. “Why did you agree to marry us?”
Tommy felt his face going bright red. “Wha—I—” There wasn’t even anything he could say. He did agree to be their husband, after all.
Tubbo giggled, coming over to Tommy and taking Michael out of his arms. “Your Mimi is so silly,” he said, booping Michael’s nose. “He pretends like he doesn’t love us, but he does!”
Michael just giggled.
Foolish looked startled. “Wait, you guys are married?”
Tommy crossed his arms, suddenly defensive. “Yeah, we are. Got a problem with that, shark-boy?”
Tubbo placed a hand on Tommy’s arm, laughing lightly. “He’s fine, Tommy. I just don’t think he knew you were part of it too.”
Tommy flushed. “Ah. Right.”
“Don’t worry, it’s still a pretty recent thing,” Ranboo reassured. “We haven’t told many people.”
Foolish waved a hand, “No, no, my mistake!” he said. “Congrats!”
The four stood in awkward silence for a moment, the husbands exchanging wary glances while Foolish looked lost in his own thoughts.
“Uh, well, tha—”
“Did you guys have a wedding?” the totem-shark god asked, glancing between the three. He didn’t seem to notice he had interrupted Tubbo.
The trio exchanged glances before Tubbo hesitantly answered.
“Technically no, and we’re not sure we want to. You know what happens at big events on this server,” he said, giving a strained smile.
Foolish nodded. “Fair enough. I still have to get you a wedding present though!”
Ranboo raised an eyebrow. “Foolish, you literally built—”
“Wait, what am I even saying, the mansion can be my wedding gift to you!” Foolish smacked his head as he cut Ranboo off. Tommy took in the man’s appearance and noticed the bags that were still present under his eyes.
Foolish really needed to take a break from building and sleep sometimes before he hurt himself.
Tubbo laughed. “Yeah, you’ve done enough for us, big man. We really appreciate it.”
Ranboo nodded in agreement, though his attention had shifted back to standing away from the ceiling and watching it with wary eyes.
“Anyways, I’ve got to get back to Foolish Jr...hey, maybe Michael and Jr. could have a playdate sometime!” Foolish looked delighted at the idea, and though Tommy had no idea who Foolish Jr. was—he assumed Foolish’s kid—the boy figured it wouldn’t hurt to introduce Michael to a few other children, if at all possible.
Tubbo nodded, bouncing Michael in his arms. “I’m sure that would be great!”
Foolish collapsed the scaffolding, taking it with him as he made his way down the stairs.
Tommy frowned. “Wait, wasn’t that our scaffolding? Hey Fooli—”
Ranboo placed a hand on Tommy’s arm, stopping the younger boy, a serious look in his eye as he shook his head. “Just let him go. It’s easier this way.”
Tubbo nodded gravely from Tommy’s other side.
Tommy wondered what the two had seen for them to be acting this solemn about a bunch of scaffolding. He just nodded his head and followed the totem god down the stairs.
Tommy walked Foolish to the door, waiting for the totem to open an umbrella.
“Thanks again, Foolish,” Tommy said, opening the door and smiling a little awkwardly.
He hadn’t talked to the god much, but both Tubbo and Ranboo knew him pretty well, and he was willing to play nice until the man gave him a reason not to.
Foolish grinned. “I’m so glad you’re back, Tommy.”
Tommy stiffened at the reminder, bringing a hand up to brush at his blond hair where a single streak of white marred the color. He gave a tight smile, just wanting the man to leave.
“Uh, thanks, I guess.”
Foolish nodded but paused again, turning back around. “You know, I think you’re exactly what those two needed.” He had a knowing glint in his eyes, though Tommy wasn’t sure what the man thought he knew.
“What?” The blond just raised a questioning eyebrow.
Foolish just shook his head, smiling amicably. “Nothing, nothing. Just take care of those two, and if you do ever have a wedding, I better be invited!”
Tommy didn’t know how to respond, so he just nodded his head mutely as the totem god made his way out of the house. Tommy closed the door behind Foolish, turning around and leaning on it for a moment.
“You okay, big man?”
Tommy looked up to see Tubbo standing at the bottom of the staircase. He gave the goat-hybrid a little smile.
“Yeah, Foolish is just being cryptic again.”
Tubbo laughed. “He always is. Come on, the boss man is waiting for us with the little man. We have to tuck him in.” Tubbo wrinkled his nose then. “And you need to get into dry clothes. We’re not cuddling with you like this.”
Tommy snorted. “Okay, goat man,” he teased, making his way to where the other boy waited.
“I have hot cocoa set out too, if you guys want to make it,” Tommy said.
“That sounds great. Let’s get Michael settled down, and we’ll do that,” Tubbo smiled, bumping his shoulder into Tommy’s arm. He reached over and offered a hand, which Tommy took and intertwined with his own.
“Ready?” Tubbo asked.
Tommy could only smile fondly down at his husband. “Of course.”