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“Hey, Tsunagu… we’re close, right?” the younger hero asked cautiously one evening as the two pro heroes were enjoying the rare synchronized night off together.
“Of course! I wasn’t kidding when I said I consider you to be my younger brother. Why? What’s bothering you?” The well-groomed man asked, voice even as ever, but brows pinched in concern and Hawks was sure that he was frowning behind the turtleneck that blocked the lower half of his face.
Massive red wings rustled uncomfortably as their owner shifted and looked away awkwardly, unsure of where to begin. “I’m not sure how to explain this…” the number two began.
“We have all evening,” the lanky man placed a soothing hand on the bird’s shoulder, “Take your time.”
Yellow eyes darted up for a moment before quickly looking away again, “I… I don’t have many people I trust in my life. I don’t want to lose the ones I do have. I’m worried that you’ll lose your respect for me if I tell you.” The distress was clear in the avian’s voice.
That shook the older man. Hawks was always a steady and collected person. When he was out on the job he could be cocky and nonchalant, sure, but beneath it all was a calm, collected, and calculated person who was never allowed their true emotions to show themselves. At least not fear and anxiety like this. It had taken years for Tsunagu to get through to him enough to get any amount of vulnerability out of the man he now considers family. Seeing him now too scared to look him in the face had Tsunagu very worried indeed. “Keigo, I promise that won’t happen. You’re a good man. You’re my brother. I-“ Tsunagu was planning on informing his winged friend that he wasn’t going to abandon him but was interrupted by said friend.
“I’m not,” the words were tight and strained, cracking halfway through and going by Hawk’s body language, that outburst was more involuntary than a deliberate interruption. However, after several moments, the troubled hero stayed quiet.
Tsunagu frowned, “Keigo, yes you are. I’m well aware of the role the Commission had you play. I’m sure whatever you have to say won’t change how I view you.”
Despite intending to comfort his troubled friend, Hawks only looked more distraught, “I want it to change how you view me. I just don’t want to lose you as a friend, as family, because of it…” Tsunagu stayed quiet to allow Hawks to continue, “I’m still not sure how to say this, but… I’ve done a lot of soul searching since the Commission was disbanded and… I’ve always known I was uncomfortable with myself but I assumed it was because of the Commission and the persona they made for me. I pretty much just ignored it for most of my life, and I figured if I ever got free I would feel better. But I didn’t. And as insane as it may sound…” Hawks took a deep breath to prepare for what was causing this distress, “I… I don’t think I’m a man.” Hawks looked sick to their stomach, but remained quiet, waiting for Tsunagu to react.
He would be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised. But at the same time, something about Hawks’ admission made sense. He couldn’t quite place his finger on why but almost felt as though he should have seen this coming. Though that being said, he still wasn’t sure how to best respond. Ultimately he decided on a simple, “That doesn’t sound insane at all.”
Hawks looked up at him in shock, “It doesn’t? Me thinking I’m a woman doesn’t sound insane to you?”
Ah, so that answered the question on how his friend did identify if not as a man. Though if anything that just seemed like something else he really should have seen coming even if he was incapable of pointing out any specific reasons why. Regardless, he brought himself back to the conversation at hand, “Of course not. You being a woman isn’t insane. If that’s what you believe you are then that’s what you are. It’s as simple as that, I’m just glad you told me so I can start referring to you properly.”
Hawks sat there stunned for several long minutes, seemingly entranced by Tsunagu’s immediately supportive response. Her eyes were watering as she tried to form a response. “I- I don’t know…” she tried, voice tight with emotion. “You really accept me as a woman?” She sounded like she was in utter disbelief.
Tsunagu gave her a soft smile, “Of course! Though I do have a couple questions, if that’s ok?” Hawks’ face fell slightly but she nodded regardless, prompting Tsunagu to continue, not wanting to further worry his already emotionally vulnerable sister, “Are your pronouns she/her now?” Hawks nodded hesitantly, as though she expected to be scolded for answering yes. “Alright, good. What would you like me to call you? Do you have a new name picked out? Or do you want to change it at all?”
This caused Hawks to snap out of whatever cautiously optimistic haze she was in as she answered, “I’m not sure yet… I honestly didn’t think that anyone would ever ask me that. I thought everyone would tell me I was delusional or that I was having a crisis of some sort…” she trailed off in thought, brows pinched and a deep frown on her face. Tsunagu wanted to comfort her but before he could get a word out, she spoke again, “I think just Hawks or Kei for now… I’ll need to think about that…”
“That is completely fair, if you pick something out, or even if you need help or want to try something, let me know. I’d be happy to help you, Kei.”
She smiled at him, “Thank you, Tsunagu.” She looked visibly more relaxed than she was, “This really means the world to me, you have no idea.”
Tsunagu returned her smile, eyes crinkling above the neck of his sweater, “I’m glad to be of help and I am especially glad you’re coming into your own. Is there anyone else who knows? Or anyone I should avoid referring to you as a woman when speaking to? I don’t want to out you before you’re ready.”
“Oh! Um, yeah,” she chuckled nervously, “You’re the only one who knows so far… so yeah, if you could keep it between us for now?” She asked, uncertain.
“Definitely. This is a deeply personal and understandably intimidating process. Take all the time you need.” He assured her, replacing his hand on her shoulder.
“Thank you,” she replied, shoulders and wings sagging in relief.
“Don’t worry about it. Like I’ve said before, I consider you family. You being my younger sister instead of my younger brother doesn’t change that. If you need any help with anything, just let me know. I’ll be here for you every step of the way, no matter what shape the path you take is.” Before Tsunagu knew what was happening, he was engulfed in red feathers as Hawks fell forward and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Wild dirty blonde hair tickled the side of his face as Hawks cried into his shoulder.
“Thank you so much. I don’t deserve to have someone like you in my life,” she sobbed.
“That’s not true, Kei, you deserve to be completely surrounded by people who love and support you, and I’m honored to be one of those people.” He assured, gently rubbing her back between her wings.
Hawks wasn’t sure how she had gotten so lucky to have gotten so close to someone so supportive and caring, and Tsunagu wasn’t sure how he had gotten lucky enough to end up so high on Hawks’ list of trusted people, but in that moment they were both honored to have each other in their lives.