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There were only a handful of times when Jimin’s life changed drastically. Did a sharp 180 turn, mostly for the better.
And three of those times involved Yoongi.
The day Jimin met him.
The day Yoongi brought Gyu over to Jimin’s house.
And today. This moment.
4 years ago
The first drops of rain hit Jimin’s nose as he enters his apartment building. The moment he put s one foot inside his small apartment, thunder and lightning split the dark, cloudy sky apart and it pours.
Jimin sighs in relief as he takes off his shoes and washes up. He has gotten home earlier than usual today, after having his last class of the day cancelled. He decides to make some dinner for himself that isn’t instant noodles.
Putting on a warm sweater and pyjama pants, Jimin pads into the kitchen, peering into his cabinets to see what food he has. In his fridge, he has some sad-looking vegetables, a can of meat, eggs and bread.
“Guess I can make some stew,” Jimin mutters to himself as he takes out all the ingredients he needed to make the said stew.
Humming and swaying along to the light music playing from his phone, he chops the vegetables and adds them to the boiling pot. As an afterthought, he adds in some noodles, eliminating the need to make himself rice.
While the stew is stewing away, Jimin makes himself a cup of tea. It is still too early for dinner so once his dinner is ready, he takes a break to drink his mug of tea in the living room while watching some reality TV. He has just settled down onto his couch when the buzzer buzzes.
Jimin frowns. Who could it be? In this rain? In the middle of the week? His friends have a key to the building and knew his door’s passcode.
He thinks of all sorts of possibilities as he presses a button to speak to the person standing out in the rain.
“Hello?” Jimin says.
“Jimin-ah,” a voice rasps out, sounding broken and tired.
Something feels terribly wrong.
“Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin gasps and lets him in. “Come on in!”
He races to the lift and heads downstairs, nearly tripping on his feet. His heart pounds against his chest, struggling to break free. Panic rises up in his throat but he pushes it down, taking deep breaths in an attempt to stay calm for his own sake, and for Yoongi’s.
Yoongi—the love of his life, who was oblivious to Jimin’s feelings.
No, Jimin firmly tells himself. Now is not the time .
On a normal day, the speed of the lift was fine but today, it seems exceptionally slow. When he reaches the ground floor, he slips through the door and sees Yoongi standing at the door, like he just walked in for some shelter from the rain and refused to take one more step further.
Or rather, couldn’t.
He is dripping wet; he has a light green duffle bag over his shoulder and a rather large lump on the inside of his raincoat.
Wait, a lump?
“Hi, hyung,” Jimin breathes out.
Yoongi smiles ruefully and his face crumples up like he is on the verge of tears.
Jimin rushes forward to envelop him in a hug when the lump inside his coat moves . Yoongi carefully unzips his coat to reveal a baby.
Still bundled up in hospital clothes.
“Yoongi…” Jimin has a million questions to ask but they all die in his throat when he looks at Yoongi’s face.
“Let’s get you dried up first,” he takes the duffle bag from Yoongi and the hand that wasn’t cradling the baby and leads him to his apartment on the fifth floor.
At his apartment, Jimin hurries around frantically to get some towels and warm blankets and cushions for the baby. The baby is fine, just sleeping soundly. Yoongi put the baby in Jimin’s arms as he goes to change into warmer, drier clothes than Jimin offers.
The baby is tiny. Jimin is sitting on the couch, back straight as a rod, not even daring to breathe too harshly, lest he woke the baby up. When Yoongi comes in after a couple of moments, he sits next to Jimin, who hands him the baby immediately. Yoongi simply chuckles as he takes the baby in his arms. Jimin is relieved but he misses the weight, the comforting warmth of the baby instantly.
“Do you want some tea or coffee?” Jimin asks softly.
Yoongi looks up, blinking.
“Um, yeah, sure. Coffee sounds great, if it’s not too much trouble,”
Jimin touches his arm briefly. “It’s no trouble at all, hyung,”
His tea from earlier has gone cold so heats that up as he makes coffee for Yoongi. He doesn’t usually drink coffee but he keeps some around for occasions like this. For when any of his coffee-drinking friends came by, sans baby, that is.
Yoongi takes it gratefully with one hand, the other still holding the soundly sleeping baby to his chest.
After he takes a sip of his reheated tea, they fall into a comfortable silence, with the rain pattering against the window panes serving as their background music.
Jimin hasn’t seen Yoongi in…a few months? Jimin thought. It was probably the longest they hadn’t seen each other. Yoongi had to leave for some “family emergency” that he hadn’t elaborated on. Jimin had known not to press him. But he had missed him, terribly so.
And now Yoongi is at his doorstep with a baby in his hand.
Jimin doesn’t want to ask him questions that he isn’t ready to answer. So, they sit in silence.
Until a small sniffle catches their attention.
Yoongi immediately set his mug down, cooing at the baby. “Ohhh, is Gyu awake now?” and he makes cute sounds that Jimin had never thought of associating with the elder. Jimin watches on with wide eyes and seeing Yoongi interact with the baby, looking like a pink mush of baby himself, makes his heart swell and threaten to burst out of his ribcage.
“I think he’s hungry,”
Jimin snaps out of his thoughts and stands up. “What do you need me to do?”
“Uhh,” Yoongi’s face is screwed up in that cute way when he’s trying to remember something. “There are some bottles with baby formula in them. Can you heat one bottle of it? I’ll show you when to stop,”
Jimin rummages through the bag and carefully removes the bottles, taking one in his hand and going to the kitchen. Yoongi follows him close behind, bouncing the baby—Gyu—a little as Jimin turns on the stove and pours the contents of the bottle into a saucepan.
“Set it on low,” Yoongi instructs and Jimin follows. After a couple of minutes, Yoongi dips a pinky finger into the pan and nods. “This is good,”
Jimin pours the stuff back into the bottle and hands it to Yoongi, who takes it with a small smile on his face.
“Thanks, Jimin-ah,” and then they head back to the living room, back to their silences.
Except, Gyu is awake now and Yoongi is feeding him from the bottle and Jimin is watching them both and he feels his heart constrict a little at Yoongi’s gummy smile and cute voices of encouragement and funny voices of distraction directed at the baby. He looks extremely tired—dark purple bags, eyelids drooping, skin pale and ashy—but his eyes held love for the baby for days. It’s something that Jimin can look at forever.
He’s not jealous, that would be too low.
Jimin just feels like he lost a battle that was never his in the first place.
Shaking his head to get rid of his thoughts, he stands up. “Hyung, I made some stew. Let’s eat now?”
Yoongi looks up, surprised, his cute mouth formed an ‘o’. “I can’t remember the last time I ate something that wasn’t health bars,”
Jimin pouts. “Then you should definitely eat the stew. It tastes pretty decent if I say so myself,” he flicks his imaginary long hair behind his shoulder.
Yoongi fake gasps. “Oh, no. Jimin, if you think it’s decent then is it even edible?”
“Well, unless you want instant noodles, which I’m sure you’ve been eating for days now, I guess my wonderful stew is the only option you have?”
Yoongi sighs, feigning defeat. “Let’s hope I won’t die then,”
Jimin stomps his feet and whines. “Hyuuuung!”
Giggling, Yoongi pulls the bottle out of Gyu’s mouth and smiled at Jimin. “Okay, let’s eat,”
Gyu is on some cushions on the floor, on his stomach, and Yoongi and Jimin are sitting with him, at the low coffee table, having dinner. Jimin looks at Gyu, his cute eyes sparkling as he takes in his new surroundings.
Yoongi and Jimin are not talking and the silence, which would usually be very comfortable, is awkward. Jimin clears his throat after swallowing a bite.
“So, what’s the verdict?” Jimin prods. “Are you going to live?”
Yoongi hums thoughtfully. “Yes, I will live, thankfully,”
Jimin giggles. “That’s amazing to know,”
“But seriously, Jimin. This is really good. I’m glad I came by today, despite the circumstances,”
“Me, too,” Jimin whispers, cheeks warm.
After another beat of silence, Jimin can’t take it anymore. “How old is Gyu, hyung?”
The smile Yoongi gave him is soft. “Two weeks old for tomorrow. He was only discharged today,”
“What?”
When Yoongi sets down his spoon, his smile has left his face. “Beomgyu’s mother, Hwayoung, she, um, left two days ago,”
Hwayoung is Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend. They had been together for a little more than a year and a half before they broke up.
Jimin didn’t know she was pregnant.
“We found out she was pregnant after we broke up,” Yoongi helpfully supplies to his puzzled face. “So, we thought we’d just stay friends and raise him together for a bit, at least, before deciding anything solid. Since this was very unexpected,”
“And you didn’t care to tell us? Yoongi, I find out you have a son, that I’m an uncle when the baby is two weeks old! Did you think we don’t care?” Jimin’s hurt carries through his voice. He couldn’t help it but he regrets it immediately.
“I just…I didn’t want you guys to worry and we were going to keep it under wraps till everything was settled…”
Then Yoongi looks up, eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I was scared, Jimin. Still am,”
Jimin crawls to Yoongi and put his arms around him. Yoongi’s head rests against Jimin’s shoulders as his body goes limp.
“Well, you don’t have to be anymore,” Jimin says, rubbing a soothing hand on the elder’s arm. “We’re all here for you,”
Turns out that Hwayoung left because she didn’t want the responsibility. She had thought, had firmly believed that she was but as soon as Beomgyu was born, she realized it wasn’t something she could do.
“She left me a note and a long letter to read in the future and all. One for Gyu, too, when he grows older,” Yoongi chuckles wetly, wiping his nose. “So old fashioned,”
“Hyung, you used to leave handwritten notes for Jin-hyung when you were roommates, I hardly think you’re qualified to call her old-fashioned,” Jimin says through his tears.
“Did she say if she’ll come back?” Jimin asks softly after some time.
Yoongi only shakes his head. “I don’t think so. My parents offered that I could stay with them but I couldn’t do that to them. So, I just left the hospital and the only person I could think of was you…”
Jimin pats his knee reassuringly. “I’m always here for you, hyung,”
Present day
“Chimmyyyyyy!” the sound of Beongyu whining at the dining table brings Jimin back.
“Gyuuuuu!” Jimin matches his pitch.
Beongyu giggles as Jimin ate his toast, eyeing the clock. There’s still time before they have to leave but Beomgyu is a bit of a fussy eater.
“Gyu, are you eating?” Yoongi calls from the kitchen. “Your egg is ready so you better have finished your milk,”
Since Yoongi’s back is to them, Beomgyu makes a face at Yoongi at which Jimin burst out laughing. Even though this is Beomgyu’s most disliked part of the day—breakfast—Jimin loves it because he gets to be whiny along with the kid.
“Beomgyu, you need to eat so that you can grow tall and strong,” Jimin tries.
“Like Uncle Kookie?” Gyu says, swinging his legs.
“And us,” Yoongi says from the kitchen.
“But you and Chimmy are not so tall, like Uncle Kookie and Uncle Jin,”
“Yah, Min Beomgyu,” Yoongi says, holding up a spatula.
“He has a point, hyung,” Jimin says between barely suppressed laughter. “We can barely lift him up anymore,”
“Whose side are you on, Jimin?” Yoongi shakes his head, coming towards them .
Jimin looks at Beomgyu and winks at him, who giggles. “Always on the right side, hyung,”
Yoongi puts one fried egg on Gyu’s plate, and two on Jimin’s, sprinkled with pepper, just like how he likes it. Yoongi’s own plate has one egg with a huge mug of coffee on the side.
“But Papa…” Beomgyu looks up at Yoongi, batting his eyelashes. “Tummy full,”
“No, it’s not,” Yoongi snorts. “Jimin is eating two eggs, you can eat one, right?”
Gyu pouts. “But Chimmy big!”
Yoongi sets his mug down, looking fake-stern. “Didn’t you tell me we are not big like Kookie? That means Jimin is small and if he can eat two eggs, you can eat one,”
Beomgyu sighs dramatically and struggles to cut into his eggs with his light green training chopsticks. Jimin helps the boy to adjust his grip better on them and manages to cut the egg. Jimin cheers and Yoongi grins, proud.
“Gyu,” Jimin tries to offer. “If you eat your breakfast today, I’ll take you to that little flower shop you like on the way to school and you can buy some flowers for your teacher,”
His eyes light up like a Christmas tree. “Really? For Miss Jiwoo?”
“Yeah!”
Beomgyu loves his teacher, Miss Jiwoo. Yoongi is squinting at them both, but mostly at Jimin.
“Can we buy big, yellow flowers?” Beomgyu is now eating his egg with renewed vigour.
“We can buy whatever you think Miss Jiwoo will like, baby,” Jimin says, carding his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair, fixing the short strands a little.
“Okay, Chimmy!”
Jimin catches Yoongi’s eyes, hand pausing mid-way. The elder’s expression is unreadable. He’s blinking, thinking of something but then he smiles, that cute gummy smile that had blown Jimin’s hand-knitted socks that first time. Jimin smiles back.
“Gyu, what do say when someone does something nice?”
“Thank you!”
“Yes, now who is doing something nice?”
“Chimmy!”
“Yes, now what do you say to Chimmy?”
“Thank you, Chimmy, love you!”
Jimin, in the middle of clearing the plates, almost drops them. He looks at his baby, who is smiling toothily at Jimin, and he rushes forward and kissed the little one on his cheek.
“Love you, too, baby,”
4 years ago
Jimin is on the floor with Beomgyu, on his stomach, holding up his old stuffed teddy bear and booping Gyu’s nose with the teddy bear’s, making him squeal in delight. It makes Jimin’s heart swell with happiness. He finally gives the baby the teddy bear who takes it in his tiny, tiny fingers and chews on it.
“Somebody’s having fun,”
Yoongi’s low drawl makes Jimin look at the elder, sitting on the couch after a nap that Jimin forced him to take.
(“You need to sleep,”
“But—”
“No buts. If you don’t sleep, I will knock you out. I can take care of Gyu for a bit,” Jimin argued. “You can nap with him on the floor if you want. But only if you sleep,”
“Fine,” Yoongi sighed.)
Jimin looks up at Yoongi and grins. He looks a lot better already, his dark hair mussed from sleep, eyes looking fresher, cheeks back to their normal, pale pink.
“Gyu and I were getting to know each other,” Jimin says, attempting to take the little bear away from the baby’s chubby hands.
"And what did you find out?"
"That he's an adorable little one who likes teddy bears, loves his dad, likes playing peek-a-boo,"
When he looks back at Yoongi, his eyes are teary and he opens his mouth to say something but there's a little sound from Beomgyu.
The little one's eyes are wide with surprise and blinking. Then his face morphs into something that Jimin can only describe as disgust.
Yoongi giggles. "Time for a nappy change," he announces as he gets up from the couch to rummage through the duffle bag and take out a bunch of things.
Jimin was looking at Yoongi with wide eyes. "Can I help?"
"Are you sure?" Yoongi's brows are furrowed as he lifts Beomgyu up.
Jimin nods enthusiastically.
"It's not pretty," Yoongi adds with a raise of his eyebrows
"Hyung, just because I'm pretty and Beomgyu is pretty doesn't mean everything else is," Jimin rolls his eyes. "Your bedhead isn't pretty but you don’t see me make a fuss of it,"
Yoongi laughs. "Okay, come on, let's change a diaper,"
Beomgyu, surprisingly, isn't fussy about the whole deal. Jimin holds him down as Yoongi changes his diaper, wrinkling his nose that has Jimin giggling.
Jimin has often thought about what kind of parents he and his friends would be. He just hadn’t imagined it to have happened so quickly.
Yoongi is patient and calm, mostly. And tired but that's most parents, he guesses. But Yoongi is also not someone who was ready. Jimin thinks he's doing really great.
He gently wipes Gyu's body down with sweet-smelling baby wipes and puts on another diaper, deftly securing the elastic and disposing of the used diaper into another bag.
"I'll put it in the bin," Jimin takes it from Yoongi as they exit the bathroom.
Moving to Yoongi’s house was a given. Beomgyu’s room is ready, Yoongi has a business to run. Jimin can go to the dance studio where he worked so when Yoongi asked Jimin if he could stay with him and his son for a few more days, Jimin doesn’t hesitate.
“If you hadn’t asked me, I would’ve simply come with you,” Jimin had assured when Yoongi kept apologizing.
Yoongi had told his—their—friends about Gyu the night he was at Jimin’s. Jimin had sent their group text a picture of Yoongi holding the baby up, looking tired and beaten but the happiest he’s ever looked.
Father-son duo are being cuter than me
send help
The chat had burst with messages, the vibrations of it making Jimin’s phone fall from the table to the floor, which had Yoongi laughing.
All of them had seemed as shocked as Jimin had been but they had quickly started asking (read as: demanding) for more pictures of Gyu and Taehyung had even been ready to come over.
Yoongi had placated him that when they go back to Yoongi’s house tomorrow, they could come to visit and Jimin’s heart had constricted at that.
They’ll have to go back and leave Jimin by himself.
“I’ll miss the little guy,” Jimin had said, playing with Beomgyu’s little fingers, kissing them and tickling them lightly.
“And me?”
“What?” Jimin had smoothened the dark hair on top of the baby’s pink head. Gyu squirms but it’s not from displeasure. “Of course not, hyung. I need to see you more to miss you,”
“Then come with us,”
Jimin’s head had whipped up, blinking. Yoongi had not been at Jimin; he’s rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks pink.
“I have no right to ask this of you, but I think, um,” Yoongi had said, rubbing his hands. “I f you can stay with us, I think, um, we’ll like it. Just for a couple of days or so, or for however long you want to stay,”
Jimin had smiled. He’s ready to go anywhere Yoongi asks him to go. “I don’t mind at all! Plus, the studio is closer to your place anyway!”
So, there they are, late next morning, Yoongi holding a sleepy Beomgyu and his light green duffle bag, Jimin pressing the pin to the apartment.
The apartment is big and a little dusty. The living room is portioned off nearly by half to make room for the loom Yoongi used, which sits untouched. Yoongi looks at it sadly for a moment. Then he seems to regain his bearings and looks at Jimin.
“Gyu’s room is this way,” Yoongi leads him to the guest room.
The walls are painted a soft, pastel green, with cute drawings of Totoro and Ponyo and other characters that Jimin doesn’t recognize. It is bright, warm and calm.
“It’s so pretty,” Jimin says, his mouth hung open as he looks around. “I think I could stay here myself!”
“Do you want me to put you in a cradle, next to Gyu?” Yoongi says, straightening after setting the baby down in his white cradle. “I think you’ll fit into one,”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “As if you’re any bigger than me,”
After, Jimin suggests he go out and buy some food (if only to just ease his nervousness).
“Nonsense,” Yoongi says, waving a hand at Jimin and patting the couch next to him. “We’ll just order in. I also need to buy groceries so we can order those, too,”
So, they do. They shop for food and groceries and shampoo and detergent and chocolate for Jimin and coffee for Yoongi and baby powder and shampoo—that Jimin swears up and down is mild smelling—and fun cereal for both.
It feels domestic. Too domestic. Jimin loves it, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to feel so happy about doing mundane tasks like debating over which scent of room freshener is the mildest.
But he basks in it. Cherishing every moment of it.
Present day
“Jimin, we need to talk,” Yoongi tells Jimin one night.
Jimin’s heart stutters to a stop. He’s not sure what Yoongi wants to talk about but he looks a little stressed. More than usual, that is.
“Sure, hyung,” Jimin sets aside the plate he was clearing from the dining table. “Now?”
“If that’s okay?”
Jimin nods, heart thumping. They sit on the couch side by side.
“So, um,” Yoongi starts. “When I went to pick Gyu up today, Jiwoo wanted to talk to me,”
“Oh? About what?”
“He sort of made another kid cry,” Yoongi says, rolling his eyes.
“What?! And you’re telling me this now?”
“It wasn’t anything physical,” Yoongi quickly amends. “He just argued and the other kid was a little sensitive so…”
Jimin calmed down a little but he is still worried. “So, what exactly happened?”
“They were making cards for their parents,” Yoongi patiently explains. “And most kids, as you know, wrote Mom and Dad on their cards and Beomgyu wrote Papa and Chim. Then this kid asked if Chim was his mother and Beomgyu said that, and I quote, “Chimmy is Chimmy!” and kept saying that all day long and it got annoying to the point that the kid cried. Jiwoo calmed the other kid down by explaining how like she has one mother and one father, Gyu has two fathers,”
Jimin sucks in a breath.
“And Beomgyu agreed to it, but Jiwoo just wanted to let me know that this happened and I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else,” Yoongi says.
“Okay,” Jimin says, pushing past the lump in his throat. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll-I’ll just finish cleaning,”
He stands up but a strong and reassuring hand stops him by holding his wrist. “Jimin, look at me,”
Jimin does. “Are you okay? I realize this must have been too much—”
“No, I get it, Yoongi,” Jimin says, sniffling. “I’ll just clean up and go back to my place,”
Jimin can’t take another step forward because Yoongi’s still got his hand around Jimin’s wrist. “Jimin, what in the world are you talking about?”
When he turns around to see Yoongi, his eyebrows are scrunched in confusion. “Don’t you want me to leave? Weren’t you just saying that Beomgyu thinks of me as a father so—”
“So, I was wondering,” Yoongi says slowly, eyes locked onto Jimin’s, unwavering. “If that was okay by you. If that feels like too much pressure for you, I completely understand but I didn’t say that because I wanted you gone, Jimin. You’re my best friend. You have no idea how happy it makes me feel when Beomgyu thinks of you as a father figure. I’m glad that it’s you,”
Yoongi’s voice is dripping with sincerity and Jimin bursts into tears. The elder puts his arms around Jimin and coaxes him into sitting on the couch where they sit like that, Yoongi’s arms around Jimin, Jimin’s head on Yoongi’s shoulders as the younger’s sobs subsides, until the early morning light filters in through the windows.
7 years ago
It’s Christmas Day and for the first time, he’s spending the holiday with his friends. His part-time work has been busy, what with choreographing a new routine for the Christmas Eve programme and spending hours helping different sets of dancers perfect their steps, their postures. He had wanted to go back home but the thought itself was too tiring. So, when his friend and colleague, Hoseok, invited him over to their party, he was more than willing to go.
He looks at his phone to check if he got the address right. He’s a bit nervous. He has met Hoseok’s friends a few times and he really likes them all but he’s still nervous, still worried if they like him or simply tolerate him because he’s Hoseok’s friend—
Jimin shakes his head and enters the building.
“Jimin!” Taehyung opens the door and engulfs him in a bear hug. “So glad you’re here!”
Jimin melts in his hug. He likes Taehyung’s hugs. Likes Taehyung in general.
He leaves his bag at the entrance along with his coat and scarf in a heap and follows him inside. There aren’t a lot of people, they’re all sprinkled here and there. Jimin meets Hoseok in the kitchen, who gives him another hug.
“Jiminie!” Hoseok ruffles his hair and Jimin whines a little. But he didn’t really mind. He loves the affection. “Are you hungry, thirsty?”
“Beer?” Jimin asks and Seokjin hands him a glass from behind the counter. Jimin thanks him but the elder waves him off.
The party is soft and nice, with a small tree set up and warm fairy lights in every corner making the place glow and Christmas music playing softly in the background. Jimin follows Taehyung around, getting introduced to other people and after some time, they’re simply sitting on the couch, talking.
It’s nice. Taehyung is warm and comfortable and eccentric (a rare combination but it fits him). Jimin finds himself leaning more and more against him and once almost falls into his lap laughing at something Seokjin says.
“Are there any more people coming?” Jimin asks at one point because he doesn’t see one particular person.
“Yeah!” Taehyung nods, checking his phone. “Jungkook said he’ll come later, but Yoongi-hyung and Namjoon-hyung should be here in some time,”
Okay, so in some time, he’ll get to see him again, after a while. Jimin is excited but also a little nervous. He tugs Taehyung’s hands into his and snuggles in his warm shoulders until they come.
Jimin isn’t sure how much time passes but he seemed to have dozed off into a nap because when he opens his eyes, it’s to the lack of warmth and loud chatter from Taehyung. He sees Taehyung jumping into Namjoon’s arms who drops everything to catch him by his middle. Jimin giggles because they’re so cute. Then he emerges from behind Namjoon’s broad frame.
Yoongi.
He’s bundled up in a warm coat and beanie and gloves and scarf and his cheeks are pink and puffed up from the cold and when he looks up, he locks eyes with Jimin and gives him a tiny nod with a small smile.
Jimin smiles back.
A few weeks ago, Hoseok had invited Jimin for dinner with his friends. That was the first time he had ever met Hoseok’s friends: the fun and eccentric Taehyung, the quiet and reassuring Namjoon, the funny Seokjin, the quiet and shy Jungkook, and Yoongi.
At first, Jimin wasn’t sure what to make of the elder. He was quiet, didn’t say much but made sure everybody ate well and cracked dumb jokes alongside Seokjin that Jimin laughed a little too hard at, went along with the weird antics that Jungkook did and whined as he hugged Taehyung. He had wonderful hands and a soft, soothing voice that Jimin nearly preened at.
By the end of the night, Jimin was sure he was a little in love.
He had been cold on the walk back to his dorm room, especially his hands and Yoongi noticed (of course he had).
“Hey, Jimin?” Yoongi asked. It was the first time Yoongi had actually addressed him.
“Yeah, Yoongi-ssi?”
“Here,” Yoongi handed Jimin a heat pack. “Where are your gloves?”
“Oh, uh,” Jimin tried to think of an appropriate answer. “I couldn’t find any,”
His eyebrows furrowed and he simply nodded. “Take care, Jimin, good night,”
It’s only the second time he’s meeting Yoongi and Jimin has had enough beer to have the courage in him to initiate a conversation with him.
But when he sits next to Jimin, he only smiles dumbly at the elder, who blinks once and gives Jimin his own brand of gummy smile. Pure and not holding back.
Jimin is a lot in love.
Then Yoongi gives him a small packet. “Here, for you,”
Jimin points to himself with a questioning look, not trusting himself to speak the words out loud.
Yoongi nods. Jimin opens the packet, which is a pretty yellow paper with a sticker of a cat knitting and the words Suga Knits in a clean font. Inside, were two pairs of gloves. One a light yellow, and one light purple.
“I didn’t know your size, but I think they should fit,” Yoongi says, nodding at the gloves.
“These are…for me?” Jimin asks again, just to confirm.
Yoongi laughs a little, like he finds Jimin cute, and turns the packet around for another label, which has Jimin’s name written on it.
“For you,” he confirms.
Jimin pulls on the gloves and they’re so warm and soft that he never wants to take them off. They’re a little big but Jimin doesn’t mind.
Yoongi obviously notices, and he minds. “Let me fix that for you,”
“I’m not parting with these,” Jimin holds the gloves to his chest and moves back. Yoongi shakes his head.
“Look, I’m sitting right here, you won’t have to part with them,” Yoongi says soothingly and Jimin acquiesces.
The elder takes out a small portable tool that looks like a slightly larger version of a needle and deftly tucks a little bit of the material so that the gloves fit Jimin’s hands more snugly.
“There, isn’t that better?” Yoongi asks and Jimin nods, unable to say anything else.
Jimin is too much in love.
Present day
One afternoon, Jimin is holding Beomgyu’s hand as they enter their apartment. They’re giggling over something silly that happened in Beomgyu’s school today. Jimin’s cheeks hurt a little from all the smiling.
“Papa!” Beomgyu calls, kicking his shoes away and running into the living room, where Yoongi would be usually working.
The elder comes out of his office with a tired smile on his face. “Hey bud, how was your day?”
“Good! Chimmy came today because work was over soon!” Beomgyu says, jumping about.
Yoongi looks up at Jimin and mouths a small thank you . Jimin shakes his head quietly.
Earlier that day, Yoongi had texted Jimin asking if he could pick Gyu up. Of course Jimin could.
Jimin ruffles the little one’s hair. “Why don’t you wash up and change out of your uniform? I’ll get some snacks you can eat in your room!”
“Really?” His eyes light up. He’s not allowed snacks in his room but Jimin will have to bend some rules.
“Really!” Jimin nods, as Gyu bounds towards his room.
Then Jimin turns towards Yoongi. “What’s wrong?”
Yoongi had never missed picking Beomgyu up. Not even when he was down with a bad case of migraine. Or cold. So, this must have been huge.
“Hwayoung had called,” Yoongi whispers.
Jimin blinks. “And?”
“I don’t know,” Yoongi shrugs helplessly. “She wanted to know how Gyu’s doing and she seemed very happy when I told her about the two golden stars he got in class yesterday,” He sniffles and wipes his nose on his sleeve.
Jimin waits. He senses there’s more.
“And,” Yoongi continues. “She asked me if I have read the letters she had written for us,”
“Haven’t you?” Jimin frowns.
Shaking his head, Yoongi heaves a sigh. “I didn’t want to, at that time. I was afraid that-that I’d actually understand her reasoning and let go of all the anger I have, that I’d realize I’ll feel the same way as her a-and—”
Jimin coaxes him to sit on the couch and holds him close, letting him cry it out. He understands that it must have been hard and even though he knows exactly how difficult it was since he very nearly co-parented Gyu himself, it’s not the same as being the child’s biological parent.
His heart hurts at that thought, but he resolves to pay it attention later. For now, Yoongi needs him.
“Chimmyyyy! Papaaaa!” Beomgyu calls, his voice sounding closer.
Jimin wipes his cheek and hurries to Beomgyu. He packs a plate of snacks and makes Gyu promise to eat them and call him when he’s done.
“I’ll tuck you in for a nap,” Jimin says.
“I’m big boy!” Beomgyu pouts.
Jimin laughs and ruffles his hair. “Okay, but you’ll always be our little boy, so call me, okay?”
Beomgyu sighs and nods. “Okayyy,”
Jimin returns to the couch and Yoongi is sitting with his chin in his hand, soft eyes following Jimin as he takes his seat beside the elder.
“Jimin?”
“Hm?”
“Have I ever told you how thankful I am for having you in my life?”
Jimin laughs. “You don’t have to thank me, hyung. You’d do the same for me,”
Yoongi simply nods. Jimin remembers what they had been speaking about. “What else did she say?”
“Nothing else apart from that. When I told her I hadn’t read the letter, she just said she understood and then we said goodbye and hung up,”
Jimin says nothing as he holds his Yoongi’s hands—big, warm and calloused from all the knitting—rubbing soothing circles with his own thumb.
“I don’t know why I was affected by that one phone call so much,” Yoongi admits. “But it shook me so much that I had to make you pick Gyu up,”
“Hey,” Jimin bumps his shoulders against Yoongi’s a little. “That’s why children need two parents. Thought with Boemgyu, we could use an extra hand…”
Yoongi giggles, his gummy smile fully on display.
“Hyung,” Jimin says softly. “It’s okay that you were affected by the call. You and Hwayoung had a history, you’re raising your baby by yourself, so well! But you have managed it so well, so you should be super proud. She made her choice, leaving you with harsh options. You’re doing amazing, so don’t beat yourself up for a moment like this, okay?”
Yoongi nods but he’s frowning. “Jimin, I am not raising Gyu by myself. I am 90% sure I couldn’t have without you. He has two fathers. Please never exclude yourself out of our family, okay?”
Jimin’s eyes fill with tears but he nods. Then Yoongi hugs him, burying his face in Jimin’s neck. “Thank you, Jimin. I love you so much,”
“I love you too, hyung,” Jimin says, swallowing the lump in his throat.
It’s not the first time Yoongi has told him that he loves Jimin. Yoongi is pretty vocal about the love he has for his friends. The first time Yoongi had told it to Jimin, his heart had leapt but fell just as fast when it was followed by a thank you for being the best friend ever existed.
This didn’t feel all that different.
Yoongi pulls back a little. “No, Jimin, I,” he licks his lips and Jimin couldn’t help but follow. “I love you, like, please be my boyfriend, the father of my child I love you,”
3 years ago
When Jimin walks into Yoongi’s—no, their house, like Yoongi likes to remind him—one evening after his classes, it’s to the sound of wailing Beomgyu.
Now, Jimin was already having a horrible day. He hadn’t been able to sleep all week, even with him and Yoongi taking turns making sure Gyu doesn’t wake up crying and hungry and then feeding him and calming him back to sleep. Then he messed up the choreography for a song he was working on, falling flat on his ass and being laughed at by the entire group of students he was supposed to teach. On top of that, the worn soles of his shoes finally decided to give up, so walked back home bare feet.
He was hoping for some peace at home but looks like he’s not going to get it. He sighs and plops his bag in a heap in the living and follows the sound of a wailing baby.
In the kitchen, Yoongi is holding up a red-faced Beomgyu and bouncing him in his arms, looking every bit distraught as Jimin feels.
“Hey, hyung,” Jimin says and rubs the top of Gyu’s head. “What’s wrong baby?” he pouts and kisses his head but that only causes Beomgyu to cry louder.
Yoongi flinches, closing his eyes at the sharp sound. “I tried everything I could find. I-I fed him, changed his diaper, rocked him, rubbed his back, nothing!”
Jimin takes Beomgyu from Yoongi hands to relieve him for a bit as he rocks the baby himself. The screaming is giving him a headache and all he wants to do is, well, sleep. But his skin is itching.
“Did you try playing that song he likes?” Jimin asks wearily.
Yoongi blinks. “What song?”
“Really, Yoongi?” Jimin snaps, rolling his eyes. “You didn’t know your own son calmed down to the theme of Spirited Away? What kind of a father are you?”
Jimin played the song on his phone and then it hit him. He turned around, holding the baby to his chest, who was still crying, “Shit, hyung, I—”
Yoongi’s eyes were teary but hard. “Thanks for telling me what a horrible father I am, Jimin. Confirmed my doubts,”
“No, hyung, I didn’t mean it—”
“Sure you did,” Yoongi shrugs, voice emotionless. “I’ll take care of my own son, thank you,” and he pushes past Jimin, taking a crying Beomgyu back in his arms and out of the kitchen.
Jimin had never felt so horrible in his life.
Later that night, after Beomgyu had calmed down, Jimin finds Yoongi sitting on the pretty rocking chair in Gyu’s room.
“How is he now?” Jimin whispers.
Yoongi looks past Jimin. “As you can see, he has fallen asleep,”
“I made dinner, do you want some?”
Yoongi shakes his head but Jimin doesn’t let go. “Please, hyung? I know you haven’t eaten well all day…”
“So, now you’ll tell me what a horrible person I am to myself now, will you?”
“Please,”
“Fine,” Yoongi breathes out and carefully sets Beomgyu in his crib, leaving the door open so that they can hear him from the living room.
Jimin had made simple fried rice with eggs—which Yoongi loves—so when they sit down to eat, Jimin waits until Yoongi has had the first bite to see his reaction.
It’s barely there: the slight widening of his eyes, the low hum of approval, the smile he’s fighting to keep at bay. Jimin bites his lip and waits for Yoongi to stuff his mouth.
“Hyung, I’m so so sorry,” he rushes to say and Yoongi pauses, his chopsticks mid-way to his lips. “I should not have said any of that because none of that is true. You are the best father that Beomgyu could ever ask for and he’s so lucky to have such a loving, caring father who’s doing his best at every moment, every second of his life. I hope he understands that when he grows up. I’m really, really sorry,”
Yoongi opens and closes his mouth a few times like a goldfish but then he chews and swallows. “I’m not going to lie, Jimin. It hurt a lot, especially coming from you. But he is my son and I should have known that fact but I didn’t. I will work harder and take better care of him,” then he added as an after-thought. “And you, too,”
“Me, too, what?”
“I’ll take care of you, too, for helping me take care of my son,” Yoongi brushes away grains of rice from the corner of Jimin’s mouth. “Since you obviously are doing a poor job yourself,” Yoongi grins and then all is right in the world, except for the pain in Jimin’s heart that lodged itself with the knowledge that Yoongi’s never going to love him back the same way Jimin does.
Christmas Day, present year
“And-and Papa forgot that Chimmy was going to buy food so he cooked soooo much noodles we ate it for 3 days!”
Seokjin gasped. “No!” then he shakes his head at the little boy. “Was it too boring?”
Beomgyu vehemently shakes his head. “Papa’s food is tasty,”
“What about Chimmy’s?” Hoseok asks.
“It’s okay,” Beomgyu shrugs.
(“Who taught him how to shrug?” Jimin asks Yoongi from the kitchen.
Yoongi shrugs.)
“But Papa always loves it,” Beomgyu says, grinning. “Even when it’s bad,”
(Jimin smacks Yoongi’s ass with the towel he is holding.
“Ow?” Yoongi looks confused, standing at the stove, not listening in on the conversation.
“Our son is telling our friends what a horrible cook I am,” Jimin folds his hands and pouts petulantly.
Yoongi gives him his signature gummy smiles and pecks on his pout. “Well, I love it,”
“That’s exactly the issue. You are too blinded by love to look past my horrible cooking,”
“That I am,” Yoongi says, drawing Jimin in for a back-hug.)
Their Christmas party winds down when Beomgyu goes to sleep, his day stuffed with presents and hugs and kisses that will last him for weeks. Jimin loves how adored he is by all of their friends and Beomgyu has them all wrapped around his little finger.
When all of their friends leave, with Namjoon promising Beomgyu to take him to a library that weekend, and Beomgyu making pinky promises with Seokjin and Jungkook to play video games (“He’s going to get glasses so early in age,” “I know, he’ll look so cute!”) and Hoseok promising to come by more often, it’s well past Gyu’s bedtime.
“Time for bed,” Yoongi says, taking his hand while Jimin cleans up, looking at Beomgyu’s little ponytail (that Taehyung tied with green and white ribbons) bouncing with the little spring in his step, despite being tired.
“Good night, Gyu,” Jimin calls. Gyu pauses in the middle of rubbing his eyes with his small fist.
“Goodnight dada,” and then follows Yoongi into his room.
Jimin smiles and dabs at the corner of his eyes when he meets Yoongi’s eyes. His eyes are soft and a small smile is gracing his face.
Yoongi comes back to help Jimin clean up and they are finished in record time. Yoongi brings two glasses of wine to the couch where they were snuggling.
“Seokjin-hyung forgot to finish this,” he snorts and settles comfortably next to Jimin.
Jimin puts a hand around Yoongi’s shoulders and gently cards through his hair. Yoongi lets out a contented hum and settles into a steady rhythm.
But then he straightens. “Before I forget,” he rummages under the coffee table and produces a small packet, much like the first gift that Yoongi had given Jimin.
“I finally got your size right,” he says, grinning. “It’s only a little bigger than Beomgyu’s hands,”
“Yoongi!” Jimin swats playfully at Yoongi’s shoulders and giggles. He’s so cute that he couldn’t help but press a long and loving kiss to his lips.
“Open it!”
So Jimin does, carefully because the packaging has only gotten cuter. There is no cat sticker of Suga Knits on this one but Jimin knows. Inside, there is one pair of gloves, in an intricate, blue-pink-purple-white checkered pattern. Jimin gasps.
“Yoongi! These are so beautiful!”
Yoongi is only grinning. “I know, that’s why this collection is called Inspired by Jimin, ”
“Yoongi…”
But Yoongi is very nearly jumping in his seat. “Wear it, go on!”
Jimin swallows the lump in his throat and puts the gloves on. In his left glove, there’s something smooth and hard. He carefully takes it out and stares at it dumbly.
“It’s a ring,” he says, still staring at it.
“It is,” Yoongi says, taking the ring from Jimin’s hands.
“Will you marry me, Jimin?” Yoongi says simply. “We already have a child, we already live together and we already love each other so, let’s take that one more step to growing old together?”
Jimin is still staring at Yoongi but he rummages around his pockets and produces another ring and hold it up.
“I was supposed to propose to you,” Jimin says, a whine creeping up in his voice. “And you beat me to it!”
Yoongi laughs and pulls Jimin to him, meeting his lips halfway and Jimin grabs fistfuls of his shirt to keep him floating and not drown in the other man’s presence.
“Safe to say we both said yes to becoming husbands?” Yoongi murmurs against his mouth as he slips the ring on Jimin’s index finger.
Jimin smiles softly, feeling his chest expand so much that he’s sure he’s going to burst. “This is only making it official, husband, ” and pulls Yoongi down into the couch with him.