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“How are you?” Waverly asked as she set a cup of tea down on the island in their kitchen. They were still in the cold, wet clothes they had worn to the funeral, though Nicole had shed her uniform jacket and had loosened the black tie that hung around her neck.
“You know, I've always wanted to be a Captain. Ever since I was a kid.” Nicole said as she held the metal bars in her palm that Chief Dolls had given her today. “But now, it just feels wrong.” Nicole aggressively wiped a tear off her face as she tossed the bars on the island and picked up the tea, sipping the warm liquid in hopes of calming herself down.
Waverly took one of Nicole’s hands in her own and held it across the counter. She gave the older woman a sad smile and then released her hand. “Come on. Let’s change.”
Nicole rose slowly from the barstool chair and followed behind Waverly as the two went to the bedroom to shed their clothes. Waverly took off Nicole’s tie and hung it on a hanger for it to dry. Slowly, keeping eye contact, Waverly slipped each button out of the holes in Nicole’s shirt. After it was open, she took the single bars on the collar of the shirt and removed them.
Things with the two women had never gone past the removal of shirts. Whether it was being interrupted by Wynonna or the call of their jobs, they hadn’t had time to feel the closeness they had so desperately longed for in the 4 months they had been together. Waverly didn’t want it to be like this, with a death so hard looming over their heads, but when Nicole looked at her with those pleading eyes and told her she needed her, she couldn’t stop herself from wanting to make not just Nicole feel okay, but also herself. To remind her and herself that they were both still here. That they were both okay. As much as they could be, at least.
***
The next morning was plundered with storms and lightning. Rain pelted against the large widows adorning the wall of the bedroom as Waverly peaked her eyes open. An arm was slung around her waist and a warm body was pressed into her back. Though the rain usually brought on feelings of dread, much like it did the day before, Waverly smiled at the smell and the soft sounds of rain falling.
Waverly turned to face Nicole. Her face was still red with hurt from crying. The intimacy they had shared almost felt too good as they became overwhelmed with the touch of each other, falling into each other’s arms and confessing love and loss. Nicole had laid on Waverly’s chest, the brunette’s fingers massaging through auburn strands as silent tears fell down both of their cheeks.
Nicole was still in a peaceful sleep. Waverly almost wished she would stay like this, not burdened by the new promotion and the loss of a mentor. But alas, Nicole stirred and buried her head into Waverly’s neck as she began to wake. The taller woman groaned, no doubt from remembrance, and only furrowed deeper into her girlfriend’s neck. They laid there for a while, listening to the rain and each other’s hearts.
“I meant what I said.” Nicole said after a long while of silence. “I really do love you.” Waverly looked down to the woman that now rested again on her chest like the night before.
“So did I.”
***
With the New Year came healing for everyone. Chrissy was doing better than she was, finding comfort that someone like Nicole would be taking her father’s place. She held no ill will to Nicole. Chrissy knew her father wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to take his place. With Nicole’s promotion came Wynonna’s transfer from Station 24 to 9 to work under Nicole as her Lieutenant. Wynonna grumbled at the fact that she had to take orders from Nicole, but she knew Nicole would do a better job than she ever could. And they worked well together.
Waverly returned to fixing up poor blokes who refused to practice common sense and Chrissy continued to drive like there was no tomorrow. The ‘Oh Shit’ handle was a friend of Waverly’s. The first time Waverly saw Nicole with a new red helmet atop her head was a glorious day indeed. There is nothing quite like seeing your Haught ass girlfriend, who is now a Captain, fight fires.
“Captain Haught. It’s a pleasure, as always.” Waverly said as the redhead walked up to the EMT on the recently extinguished fire sight.
“Ms. Earp. Think you have time to fix up a cut?” Nicole said as she pulled off her helmet to reveal a small 2 inch cut above her left eyebrow.
“What happened?” Waverly asked, face changing from teasing and fun to worried and concerned. Waverly went for her bag of goods and pulled out some wipes and disinfectant.
“It’s nothing, my love. Just a scrape.” Nicole sat on the back of the ambulance and set her helmet beside her on the back. “How has your day been?”
“Well it’s been going, that’s for sure. Now I'm just worried about you and all the trouble you get into.” Waverly replied as she stood in front of Nicole, wiping away the soot, sweat, and blood. “One of these days you’re gonna give me a heart attack, I swear it.”
“Because I'm always getting hurt or because I look so damn good in this?”
Waverly thought for a moment, smirking as she replied, “Maybe a little bit of both.” She put a bandage on the cut and kissed it lightly as Nicole stood and replaced her helmet atop her head. “Be safe. I’ll see you at home.”
“Safe is my middle name, darling.” The brunette gave her a scorching look. “Right, okay, safe got it. Love you!” She shouted as she ran to the fire truck.
“Love you too, Captain.” The EMT yelled back.
***
Nicole always thought it would be Waverly panicing to find her hospital room one day, not the other way around. Stupid drunk drivers. Nicole wanted to kill the ass who got behind that wheel and then smashed into her girlfriend’s ambulance. When she finally did manage to find the room number from the front desk man, he told her that her girlfriend was still in surgery to take broken glass out of her face and arms and to reset a bone or two.
Panic shot through Nicole as she took in the words said to her. She knew he didn’t have anything to do with her condition, but she still wanted to grab him by the front of his shirt and punch him. This was her love. Her little EMT. Her everything. What was she supposed to feel? Calm? Definitely not.
So instead, she walked to the chairs in the waiting room and sat in a chair in the corner, rubbing her hands up and down her face. Things were just starting to feel okay again. With summer just around the corner and May coming to an end, everything felt as if it was falling into place. Now it was right back to Christmas, scared and alone, not knowing what would happen. Nicole now understood what Waverly had been feeling that night and cursed herself for ever making her love feel that way and promising herself to never make her feel like this again.
It could have been hours or minutes when Wynonna finally showed. She had been on a call. Nicole had her off day today. Waverly was supposed to have one today as well. How this day would be so much more different if she wasn’t the kind, caring person she was, taking Jermey’s shift so he could visit his mom. Now she blamed Jeremy. He couldn’t have known. No one could have.
Most of all she blamed herself. For not keeping Waverly in bed just a little longer. Then the drunk driver would have hit someone else. If only she had cooked breakfast a little slower. If she had kissed her longer at the front door before she left. Nothing could change that now.
***
When Wynonna found out that the drunk driver had not only survived, but got off with a scrape to his cheek and nothing else, Nicole had to hold her back from finding his room and straggling him. The cops were called for the man and he was given a DUI. Nothing else. Just a slap on the hand and a ‘you’re free to go’. When she heard that, she let Wynonna go. She disappeared after that.
***
Her legs were stationary for so long that they almost gave out when a doctor walked out, calling Waverly’s name. She was to her feet, despite the stumble, and over to the man in an instant. He proceeded to tell her that Waverly was okay. She would be okay. Her legs really did give out then. She had to steady herself on a chair to not collapse. She sent a message off to Wynonna, wherever the hell she was, and followed the doctor to the room where her love lay, white and unmoving. The only evidence she was still alive were the beeps of her heart on the monitor and the slow rise and fall of her chest.
This morning, those breaths were deeper and fuller. Now they’re short and shallow. Nicole stood in the doorway for a long while, willing courage to find her so that she could enter. When she did, it felt colder and less alive. Her heart sank to her feet, every step becoming heavier than the last. She sat softly on the chair beside the bed. Looking at her hurt in a way it never had. Waverly was the most pleasant thing in the world to gaze at, but here she was, finding it the hardest thing she has ever done.
Her hand was cold, which was a comfort since they were always cold. It warmed in her palm like always. She thought of how cold Waverly always was and stripped off her jacket to lay over the sleeping form. She hoped maybe it would make Waverly better, even if just a little bit.
***
She woke early in the morning before dawn had broken. Nicole was still looking at her. Even though it hurt, she couldn’t pull away her gaze. When eyelids fluttered and lips twitched, she almost jumped out of her chair. She kept her composure and waited for Waverly to wake completely. When hazel met brown, it felt like the first time all over. It felt like a scraped leg and a burnt smell in the air.
“Hi.” It was rough and strangled, but it was her.
A tear fell down Nicole’s cheek. “Hey.” It was choked out.
“Who are you?” Nicole’s heart sank.
“W- what?”
“Kidding.” Waverly smiled as big as she could, a playful glint in her eye as always. It only made Nicole cry more. She has missed that glint.
“Asshole.”
“The look on your face was worth it.” Waverly said as she squeezed Nicole’s hand. “It was pretty funny.”
Nicole shook her head. “How are you, love?”
“Everything hurts, but at least I'm warm.” The brunette said as she smiled at the jacket lying on top of her. “I wish you were the one keeping me warm and not your jacket, though.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” Nicole explained as she looked over Waverly with concern in her eyes.
“Don’t. Don’t do that. Don’t look at me like I'm broken.” Nicole found Waverly’s eyes again and they were more hard, walls coming over her face.
“I’m not, I'm not. I just… I almost lost you.” Nicole wiped some of her tears. “You asked me a time ago how I could leave someone behind while I go and run into danger. I never really understood what you meant. But when I got that call… I finally understand how you feel. I never want to feel like that again. I never want you to feel like that again.” Nicole’s sentence ended with strain and sobs.
“Love, hey. I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not. You’re hurt and hurting even more. That asshat had a small cut on his cheek. You know he got let off. Just a measly DUI. Wynonna went somewhere but… I don't know.”
Waverly just gave a nod as she let Nicole rant on about her thoughts. It’s what she needed.
“You’re supposed to be safe. I’m a firefighter and you’re an EMT. This shit isn’t supposed to happen to you.” Nicole stood and began to pace back and forth in the room. “How did this even happen? If- if I had just kept you in bed a little longer. If I had made you stay home for your day off.”
“Honey, sit down.” Nicole looked back at her and sighed.
“Yeah, yeah okay.” Waverly motioned for her to sit and then lay her head onto her chest. As Waverly ran her fingers through the red hair that lay on her chest, she said, “It doesn’t matter what job you have or what job I have, we will always be in danger. There is nothing we can do about that.”
“I know. I just don’t like seeing you hurt.”
“And I you.” Waverly replied. “Everything will be alright.”
***
At least they got to spend a lot of time by themselves. Nicole took a leave to help take care of Waverly and Wynonna stepped up as acting Captain. Wynonna had been found in a bar, crying lightly over her bottle of whiskey and peanuts. She didn’t do anything to the man. Well, she did go to the police station and press charges against him so he wouldn’t get off so easily, which caused him to be arrested and charged.
Nicole had driven her home before going back to the hospital to stay with Waverly for the night. That’s how all of her nights were until the brunette was released. Staying home and taking care of Waverly was amazing. They spent most of their days laughing and crying over movies and tv shows they binged. Sometimes they would go out on the town, to the park, walk the beach, anything just to get out of the cave they had created in their apartment.
One specific evening, they went to the very spot where they had their first kiss. They laughed about how cold they had been and how they had gotten fro-yo after and they made out in the back of Nicole’s truck. Waverly could still taste the chocolate that had been on Nicole’s lips and Nicole could still taste the strawberry that had come off of Waverly’s.
It was there, one year after that first date, that Waverly looked out to the sunset and said, “Marry me.” Nicole went stock still next to her in the sand they sat on.
“What?”
“Marry me. I love you and I never want to lose you. Why wait.” Waverly tore her gaze away from the pinks and oranges on the sky and looked to Nicole to see her eyes filled with tears and a smile on her face. “Well?”
“Ask me again.”
“Marry me.”