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As a queer girl, going to Lobelia Academy was pretty sweet. You were pretty much able to be yourself; enjoy the ladies, talk about which girls were the cutest with your friends, and you were popular with the students, and be a part of the renowned Zuka Club.
Wait, what? Part of the Zuka Club?!
You snapped back into focus, two of the Zuka Club members currently dragging you into some dark part of the school, most likely Benibara’s two closest henchwomen. You weren’t entirely complaining about being manhandled (womanhandled?) by two gorgeous ladies, but you had no intention of joining their crazy theatrics and the mayhem festival they called a club. You had seen the rehearsals, in fact, most of the school had seen the rehearsals, and yet somehow everyone thought it was perfectly sane to kidnap a student from a nearby school and force their clubmates to infiltrate Lobelia to save them.
Yeah, no thanks.
As much as you loved women, sometimes they could be a little too much. And by sometimes, you meant specifically in the case of Benibara. The woman was driven, sure, but she was fucking psychopathic, holy shit. No way were you going to deal with that every school day after hours for the remainder of your high school career.
Sometimes, even Ouran seemed like a better option, with their crazy Host Club. Who even dresses a girl as a guy and expects everyone to fall for it? Come on, it was obvious to Benibara, and she only has brain cells for theater and sapphism.
The ominous sound of a door creaking was the last thing you heard before you were tossed into darkness.
…
A single spotlight flipped on with an echoing click, lighting up the spot you were seated in, as if you were a part of a cartoon investigation. The bright light startled you, and you raised your arm to block the light in an attempt to shield your eyes.
Squinting, you could barely see the silhouette of a tall and lanky woman, poised gracefully with two (noticeably shorter) girls by her side. They were unfortunately very recognizable.
Ugh. Looks like the first disastrous kidnapping couldn’t go badly enough, so they had to try again.
“What do you want? I have to get going, I’ve got a study group after school.” You were lying of course, who the fuck would be studying on a Friday afternoon? You just wanted out of whatever scheme they had planned for you. Hopefully this doesn’t take very long.
“We have a special proposition for you.”
Benibara’s graceful form stepped just into the light, her two henchwomen following closely behind her, still shadowed in the dark room. Benibara seemed strangely sane, a calm expression on her normally self-centered and smug face.
Oh shit. Oh fuck, please don’t let me die here.
“What’s in it for me?”
A low chuckle came from the girl in front of you, the other two stifling much more high pitched snickers.
“You haven’t even heard us out yet, can we take this as a yes?” The smug expression was slowly returning.
“No. I just want to know what the benefits are.”
“Fine, have it your way. If you agree to join us for one week, simply for this special mission, we will give you exclusive access to the resources and privileges of the Zuka Club for the rest of your high school career, with no needed active membership.”
Interesting. Zuka Club members were allowed secret items from the school’s menu, able to take random periods of class time off campus once a week, and able to leave campus whenever they needed without a pass.
You would like some of that.
“And you said I only needed to join you for a week?”
“Yes, for a special mission. Are you up to the task?”
“And what might that be?”
“You’re going to go to Ouran as a show of good will for a week. It’s part of our exchange program.”
“And why me specifically?”
“Let’s just say you’re the only one who can complete the job we have in mind.”
A flash of the Host Club passed through your head, they were dumb, but they were also hot. And Lobelia had lots of lovely women, but unfortunately no men. How much could one week hurt?
“I’m in.”
…
One day in and you could not wait for this exchange program to be done and over with. The classes weren’t anything particularly horrible, but you had been dragged by a pair of redheads to the godforsaken Host Club. Yes, they were attractive, but you weren’t really the type to be wooed, more the type to poke at someone you liked until you got on their nerves.
And now you were perched on some loveseat that smelled like roses (who the fuck made their furniture smell like flowers?), subject to endless flattery by some conceited blonde who reminded you all too much of Benibara.
“And of course, we can’t forget the lovely princess from a faraway land, here on exchange from Lobelia Academy. How are you today, my effervescent rose?”
“Bored out of my fucking mind, holy shit.”
Oops. You did not mean to say that out loud.
The blonde’s (Tomoki? Tamari? Tamaki? Something like that, you couldn’t be bothered with names) shocked face slowly faded into one of absolute despair as the room went completely silent. A shadow loomed over you, and a warm but firm hand grasped your shoulder. You looked up hesitantly to see the Host Club’s scariest member, the one with the glasses, smiling down at you.
It was not at all reassuring.
“Perhaps Tamaki isn’t the Host for you. Would you kindly follow me? We can discuss your Host options just outside the club room.”
You nodded nervously. Figures that you’d fuck everything up on the first day. Your bluntness and lack of verbal filter tended to do that to you. At least you knew who your true friends were nowadays, as they truly appreciated your... unique personality.
Miserably, you allowed yourself to be dragged out of the (still uncomfortably quiet) clubroom.
“Madame, we don’t condone that sort of language within the Host Club, let alone within Ouran. It’s unladylike to be so foul-mouthed.”
“What the fuck would you know about what ladylike should be? I’m- oh. Sorry. Kinda.”
“You have a couple of options, either never come back to the Host Club, or serve us for the remainder of your time here.”
Oh fuck. You had to attend the Host Club meetings, the Zuka Club required it as part of your deal.
“Fine, I’ll serve you. What do you need?”
…
“..and a cup of jasmine tea for the gorgeous babe with the lovely blue hair tie, served in the finest Roseate Bone China, with a little extra treat from yours truly.” You winked, satisfied with the way a glowing red blush quickly spread over the girl’s cheeks.
“Th- thank you, Sapphire.”
The girls of the host club had started to call you by that name after yesterday’s fiasco. When you returned to the club room, freshly dressed in a server’s outfit (designed by the twins to “match your complexion”) with a royal blue necktie and formal slacks, you had joked about the color, calling it Sappho-ire (not many people got it, apparently no one appreciated your gay jokes here). Nevertheless, your new nickname had stuck, and you celebrated it by accenting the color in your accessories and makeup (Kyoya – you had learned glasses’ name - had insisted on it).
“Of course, darlings. Just call if you need anything.” You had easily picked up your own form of flattery, somewhat similar to Tamaki’s (you heard that name sighed enough around the Host Club that it was hard not to remember it by this point), but on the more roguish side of flirty, less princely.
“Oh, how did she know kudzu mochi is my favorite? She’s really just as rough and royal as an uncut sapphire…”
You smirked as the girls melted over your personal touches to their snacks. Kyoya had a file on anyone and everyone who had ever stepped foot into the Host Club. It really was a travesty that the other hosts rarely paid attention to the detailed work of their smartest member. You had studied each file as you went to fix the orders of the guests, and it really was helping you win over the favor of each guest.
Some of the hosts, however, didn’t seem so happy.
“Mommmyyyy, she’s stealing my guestsssss.” Tamaki was melting into the floor. “Can’t she just do something else?”
“Don’t worry, Tamaki, she’s only here until the end of the week. Then she’ll be back to Lobelia Academy.”
Ugh, I can’t wait. Although I will miss waiting on all these ladies, most of them are actually pretty attractive. I wonder if the Zuka Club wouldn’t be so bad after all…
You felt a presence at your back, and startled forward, looking up at the tall bitch who was all up in your personal space.
Oh. He’s gorgeous.
Yeah, sure, the hosts were all good looking, but this guy was basically a foot taller than you, with slightly rumpled black hair and a seriously calm expression that somehow made his steely eyes appear soft rather than harsh.
You recalled his name, Mori. Interesting, a straightforward name for a straightforward man.
Gathering your wits, you took a shot.
“Whaddya need, handsome? Some tea? Snacks?” You wracked your brain for his favorite food. “Natto? Just say the word, and I’ll gladly help ya out. Maybe something extra nutritious, it would be a shame to lose such a gorgeous bod.”
Great, just lay it on thick. As if you haven’t made a fool of yourself already. God, please let this work.
The quiet man seemed taken aback. Maybe no one’s ever directly hit on him before, it does seem like most girls just squee over him and Honey. It was mildly amusing to watch his eyes widen slightly, simply for his brows to furrow the tiniest bit, and then to watch him resume his normal blank expression. Mori did, in fact, express his emotions on his face, it was simply difficult to notice his tells unless you were up close.
Oh.
You realized that the two of you were standing nearly toe-to-toe, your chests’ a mere six inches apart.
Taking you by surprise, Mori smiled the tiniest bit. He reached behind you, and you felt his fingers lightly brush your back.
You could only pray your face wouldn’t earn you a new nickname. Ruby just wouldn’t feel right.
“Just wanted to let you know that the twins put this on your back.”
He held up a handwritten paper sign that read “Property of the Ouran High School Host Club.”
Ah. How lovely.
Wait. Did Mori just speak? To me?
Stunned silent, and still seething at the twins, you didn’t have a response.
“Don’t worry, this means they like you. Welcome to the Club. Literally.”
Four sentences, twenty six words. This must be a record for the girls at this school. Well fuck.
As Mori walked away from you, his shoulder gently brushed against yours, and surprised and jealous whispers erupted all around you.
His silky and deep voice definitely did not keep you up that night. Nope. Not at all.
…
Only two more days of school at Ouran, and four more as part of the Host Club, and you wanted to pull your hair out.
Tamaki is fucking crazy.
And yet here you were, sat with Mori and Honey, hosting.
The first female host. Well, that the guests know of. Haruhi was still a secret
Apparently Kyoya thought Tamaki’s crazy idea of pairing your roguish flirting style with Mori’s virtually unbreakable silence was actually good.
So you sat there and giggled at Honey’s cuteness with your guests, flirted with them intermittently, and occasionally poked fun at Mori, much to the clients amusement. Maybe Tamaki was right, but you still would much rather serve than host. At least you could hide in the pantry when you needed to.
You noticed one of the guests’ tea cup was empty. Looking to refill it, you reached for the pot.
A much larger hand enveloped yours, and you looked your side in surprise to find Mori already staring at you in confusion (his brows were ever so slightly furrowed again).
You laughed lightly and took control of the opportunity.
“You just can’t keep your hands off me, huh? Why don’t you pay a little more attention to our lovely guests?”
Mori’s eyes widened, blush slowly reddening his cheeks.
Bingo.
The guests squealed and fawned over Mori’s blush, and even you and Honey cracked a smile and chuckle.
Maybe Tamaki was on to something.
…
You were going to die.
For some reason, the host club was hosting a godforsaken party on Saturday night, and you were back in the server’s outfit, only this time with a horrible corset vest.
You appreciated the masculine touch, but you really couldn’t breathe.
And right now, it was just dance after dance after dance. The guests were insatiable, who knew you were so popular with the ladies? You did, of course. Even some of the Hosts and the guys at school had swept you on to the dance floor.
All except the one you wished would dance with you.
But for now, you had a mission. Survive the rest of this weekend, and be reunited with your lovely friends and the familiar halls of Lobelia Academy.
You dabbed at your forehead with a handkerchief and sipped from one of the glasses of sparkling-something-or-other that Kyoya had organized. The lights swirled around you, entrancing you in their glow. You began to feel light-headed
Man, what is in these drinks?
You moved to lean against the fountain behind you, but the world was starting to spin.
Who puts a whole ass fountain in the middle of the food for a party? You thought as you fell.
The last thing you heard was a scream before arms wrapped around you and everything faded to black.
…
You woke to hushed, frantic voices, a really nice pillow, and someone playing with your hair.
That’s nice.
“Oh! She’s awake!”
Six faces entered your field of vision, concerned and amused alike.
Hold up, six?
You titled your head back to see the seventh face, Mori, smiling softly down at you.
Oh shit, feelings. Not supposed to feel these. Nope. Nopeity nope nope. We are not doing this today.
“How are you feeling? Are you alright?”
Haruhi’s soft voiced startled you out of your internal panic.
“I think I’m doing fine, I’m just never putting a corset on ever again.”
There was a resounding chuckle form the group, and you sat up, head still feeling a bit woozy.
Man. You might miss this.
…
“NooOoOOOooOOooOoO, you can’t LEAVE us!” Tamaki’s arms were circled around your legs in an attempt to trap you in the Host Club.
“Tamaki, the exchange program was only for a week. She has to go back to Lobelia now.” Kyoya flashed you a polite smile and pried Tamaki from your legs. He lowered his voice. “Be sure to visit every so often. Tamaki might annoy us all to death otherwise.”
“We promise not to put you in anymore corsets if you come back.”
“It’s nice to have another girl around. Please come back soon.”
“Yeah! Please come back to visit! Taka-chan and I would miss you too much otherwise. You’ve become our favorite partner in crime.”
You tried not to let play with your heartstrings too much, no need to pretend there's something there that isn't.
You smiled at the hosts, promising that you would come back soon to help out at the Host Club. Laughing at Tamaki’s antics, you turned to go, but a hand on your shoulder stopped you.
Suddenly, you were enveloped in a warm hug. You smiled into Mori’s shoulder, wrapping your arms around him in return. He lifted you up off the ground and you let out a little squeak of surprise.
“Do come back soon, I’ll miss you.”
“I promise I will.”
You left Ouran in high spirits, a rosy blush on you cheeks, and a gentle smile on your face.
…
Once again, you were bored out of your fucking mind, holy shit.
That secret mission? Simply to become the first female host, and prove to the Host Club that ladies were just as popular. You did it quite well, and now you were bored all over again.
Classes at Lobelia were not nearly as fun without the Host Club to look forward to after school, as it turns out.
You and your friends had plenty of fun, and you got to skip a class period to go off campus (Zuka Club benefits), but there really was something missing.
Who knew that after only a short week, you would be so attached to your duties as a Host Club member, and to one host in particular.
So you made up your mind.
When the bell rang, you ran out of class as soon as you could, quickly grabbing all of your things and sprinting out to meet your chauffeur in the driveway.
You quickly told him where you were going, and you gathered yourself as you sped off towards your destination.
Your nerves were building as you pulled up at the familiar building, but you steeled yourself and barreled out of the car, all but sprinting up the stairs. You could hear exclamations from neighboring students, watching you in your Lobelia uniform as you made a mad dash for Music Room #3.
You skidded to a halt, exhausted from the thirteen billion flights of stair you had to run up to get there. You paused for a moment to regain your breath.
Ok, let’s get this party started.
You threw open the double doors.
“TAKASHI MORI.”
The room fell silent, much like the first time you had been in it.
“GO OUT WITH ME.”
Whispers and chatter erupted throughout the room. Mori himself stood up, the hosts giving knowing smiles and looks to the tall man.
You stood there, resolute, as he made his way across the room to you. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you prayed your nervousness was invisible to those around you.
Mori stopped right in front of you, his tall figure looming over your much shorter frame.
And then he broke into a wide smile.
Stunned, you could only take in the bright sight, knowing the rest of the room would be just as astonished at something so rare.
He leaned in, placing a sweet kiss on to your cheek and grasping your hands in his.
“Yes.”
…
“-and that’s how the great fainting event of Ouran happened.”
The giggles of the hosts were music to your ears as you finished telling your story. Turns out being wooed by a couple was apparently quite popular amongst the clientele, and neither you nor Mori were complaining. The two of you and Honey made quite the trio, gaining quite some popularity with the guests, and even Tamaki was starting to see you as a rival.
Smiling softly, you slipped you hand in Mori’s much larger and calloused one, hearing the clients squeal over his blush.
Perfect.