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‘Derek!’ Stiles exclaims, rushing through the renovated door of the hale house, ‘what did Erica just say to me!’
Derek has the gall to roll his eyes as if Stiles shouting at him doesn’t make his wolf whine, ears back and head turned, baring it’s neck to the one person it would ever again submit to, ‘I don’t know Stiles. Why don’t you tell me?’
‘Someone get the popcorn, mom and dad are at it again.’ Jackson calls to the rest of the pack as he flops down on to the sofa to watch the fight in front of him. Neither Derek or Stiles notice any of them.
‘I’ve told you a million times, Derek, you should not just kill people! Yes, they may be hurting others but there are other ways to stop it, ways that don’t end with your claws in another person’s neck!’ Sometimes Derek wonders if he does some things just to get a raise out of Stiles, knows that he’ll hate Derek even more for it but somehow, somehow its worth it and Derek doesn’t understand why.
‘Stiles-’ Derek tries.
‘No Derek! Explain to me why you think it’s okay because to me it’s wrong and I hate it.’ It’s as if Stiles is pleading with him at the same time as not listening to him at all.
‘Stiles!’ Derek shouts, basically barks out at Stiles.
‘NO! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU BE A KILLER!’ There are tears in Stiles’ eyes although he won’t let them fall, never does any more.
‘Don’t get too excited Jackson, even of this is the worst fight they’ve had in a long time it can’t be worse than the ones they used to have can it?’ Scott pats Jackson on the shoulder, not meanly or violently, just pats him on the shoulder. It seems as if Derek and Stiles are the only ones with unresolved issues any more, ‘They were brutal.’
Derek had done the unthinkable. He’d done it multiple times and yes everyone knew the guy wasn’t perfect, Stiles knew it with perfect clarity but it had gone to far to fast and Stiles would not stand for, would not allow for Derek to bully the people he was slowly and gradually getting to closer to. Derek was not going to ruin that.
The whole pack bar Isaac and Stiles were in the burned down living room when Stiles came towards the house in his Jeep, the sounds of it angry as if it is matching Stiles’ own obvious mood as his movements are stiff and the opposite of spastic as normal. Isaac is in there as well, sounds more nervous and in pain that anything, breath short and heart pounding. It’s eerie compared to Stiles whose own heart beats steadily.
When they reach the hale house Stiles slams the Jeep door shut with an echoing bang that makes every werewolf flinch before his feet pound on every step as he enters the house, Isaac scuttling behind him.
Everyone is so focused on Stiles as he walks in that they instantly notice the shaking his body is doing, not as if he’s scared but more so that he’s holding in barely contained rage.
‘Sit down, Isaac.’ Stiles commands.
Derek keeps his face stoic and hard as he stares at Stiles and the boy stares back, ‘what?’ he asks dryly and he knows instantly that it’s the wrong thing to do as Stiles seems to let the rage go and looks eerily still and somehow completely imposing.
‘You know what Derek! You already know why I’m here, everyone can smell the reason on Isaac! You hurt him!’ Stiles spits out.
‘Yes I did. And he deserved it, he wasn’t obeying me.’ Derek says calmly, wolf boiling under his skin to get out and tell Stiles he is not aloud to tell the alpha what to do.
‘That does not make it okay! No one deserves that.’Stiles looks at Isaac, face bruised and bloody, one arm and one leg broken and a torso ripped open in places, Stiles had tried to patch him up as much as he could but these wounds, they’re from and alpha, from Derek.
‘I do not have to listen to this Stiles! Get out, all of you!’ Derek turns, goes to make a big exit and makes the huge mistake of turning his back on Stiles, doesn’t register Stiles takes a gun out of his back pocket until he’s already shot, one bullet straight in his shoulder.
Derek spins back and Stiles shoots again, this time in the knee so Derek falls down, kneeling in front of the younger man. Derek is wolfed out in a second flat and goes to pounce at Stiles but Stiles aims the gun at his heart, ‘you move one inch and you get shot again and this time with a wolfsbane bullet. In the heart.’ Stiles smirks, more vicious an expression than Derek has ever seen on Stiles’ face, ‘go ahead Derek, sniff, I know you can smell the wolfsbane on the bullet.’
Derek can and he should have smelled it earlier, or at least the gun oil. One of them should have but nobody did because everyone was so wrapped up in Stiles.
Derek stays still and steady, not moving but can’t get himself to transform completely back. Stiles doesn’t relax from his stance with the gun pointed straight at his heart.
‘Good. Now you are going to listen to what I have to say for once and you better listen well because if this happens again there won’t even be a conversation to have. You’ll be dead Derek.’ Stiles’ heart is steady and sure, Derek nods.
Stiles instantly screams at Derek,‘You don’t need to hurt them Derek! They don’t deserve it! Non of them do!’
‘They won’t listen any other way Stiles and they deserve to be hurt when they misbehave! You do not get a say in how I treat them!’
‘No. No I shouldn’t have to say anything! It should be common sense! They do not deserve this treatment! You are an alpha not a five year old who gets to act out, you are responsible for them, you are supposed to be someone to look up to, someone to got to for advise but they don’t go to you though do they Derek? They go to me because I listen.’ Stiles is out of breath but he continues anyway, ‘punishment should be talking to them, telling them what they did wrong and then making them run, do extra training activities, even get them to do yoga to help with calming them selves! You could get them to do chores but you don’t even have a proper house for us all to be a pack, to actually bond and train!
‘We’ve been through enough Derek, everyone here has and non of us should have to experience more pain, especially from someone we should trust to keep us safe.’ That one is like a punch to Derek’s gut, the next words are even worse. ‘I hate you, I hate you and yet I stay around for them you do not get to hurt any of them and especially Isaac.’ Stiles looks down, licks his lips as he shakes head and then rubs the palms of his hands up his face and when he looks back up his eyes are like a blazing fire.
‘You are disgusting! Have you even stopped to think for one second about the fact that Isaac’s father told him the same thing, that he deserved it and yet the person that said he would save him has done the exact same thing. Do you think that Isaac deserved to be locked in a freezer, abused and beaten just because he misbehaved, Derek?’
Stiles raises an eyebrow and then scoffs, ‘I didn’t think so.’ Derek is stunned, utterly and completely. He’s speechless and unsure and hurt. He hates himself, even more than normal. He’s so stilted that he doesn’t even react when Stiles throws the gun at his head, just lets it. Just as he lets Stiles walk out with out looking back, this time the Jeep door closing softly and surely behind him.
When Stiles turns up the next day he acts as if nothing was said, as if he hadn’t taken down an alpha with two normal bullets and words, completely disarmed one for hours after he had left. He acts completely as normal and the beta’s don’t have the balls to bring it up. The only acknowledgement is when Derek presses the gun back in to Stiles’ hands, tells him to use as protection because he’s a damn good shot.
Derek, however never hurts his betas as a punishment again. He doesn’t even stop it because of Stiles’ threat -that’s mostly not the reason anyway- but because Stiles was right. The beta’s are his to protect not to harm and he swears to himself that the last thing he does will be saving one of his pack.
After each of their arguments something always seems to get better.
Derek stares at Stiles, doesn’t understand how Stiles can hate him so much but still have that much compassion. Still, Stiles still deserves the truth, ‘I’m already a killer Stiles.’ he admits, ‘the amount of people I’ve hurt means that you’ve already seen me be a killer, that’s just who I am.’ Derek shrugs and stumbles back, mind flitting through the amount of people’s blood he’s had on his own hands. His knees buckle as they touch the arm chair behind him and he sits, a shaking mess, once again disarmed by a human.
Stiles starts walking towards him and when close enough, kneels in front of him, hands on Derek’s knees, ‘look at me Derek.’
Derek does, wanting to see that face, the one that effortlessly makes him smile normally but today just makes him feel hollow with how much Stiles Is always going to hate him now.
Stiles’ face transforms as he goes from one emotion to the next, no idea how he feels but he knows he has to fix this, ‘you are not a killer, Derek, I’m just scared one day you’ll act before you think and hurt an innocent and I know you wont be able to handle that because you are good, you always have been.’
‘Stiles, killing anybody, anybody means I’m a killer.’ Derek feels tears fall and is annoyed at himself for doing it in front of the rest of the pack, not Stiles, Stiles has seen him do this before which is why the younger man brings his thumbs up to Derek’s cheeks, wiping away the tears before he cups Derek’s face, making sure the werewolf is looking at him as he talks.
‘Maybe in human society Derek but in these situations where supernatural’s are involved all you’ve done is save the pack from being hurt, you’re not a killer,you’re our alpha, you protect us all.’ Stiles sighs and bites his lip before continuing, ‘you killed Peter because he killed others and he killed Laura, Derek. You wanted to hurt Kate because she killed your family. Yes, maybe you should have handled the kanima better but you still saved him in the end. Then there is Gerard, you tried as hard as you could to kill him because he hurt all of us and then you took down the alpha pack because they targeted the pack,wanted you and yet you didn’t leave us. You got anther psychotic girlfriend and put your feelings aside to help us. Even after that you’ve still killed leprechauns and redcaps and frigging succubus’ and so many more just to save your pack.’
Despite his words slightly effecting Derek it hasn’t worked completely, ‘gosh you’re a stubborn arsehole.’ Stiles mumbles and the whole pack chuckles.
Stiles gets serious again, ‘will you answer me something?’ Stiles inquires, waiting for Derek’s nod which he gives quickly, ‘do you believe that I’m a killer?’
Derek things about it, really thinks. Stiles is compassionate, caring and yes, sometimes idiotic and a twat but his heart is huge and he’s always trying to find another way to fix things, help someone. He’s so strong and has gone through so much yet he’ll put anyone before himself, worry about them first. He’s so smart and unbelievably courageous. Stiles could never be a killer.
‘Never.’ Derek replies so seriously and strongly that it takes Stiles back for a moment before he smiles at the werewolf.
‘I’d do the exact same things you’ve done to save anyone here, Derek.’ and those, those are the words that get through to Derek, make his body go lax like weights been lifted off of his shoulders. Stiles hugs him and then pulls him back to look into Derek’s eyes before nodding to himself and pulls Derek up from the armchair and nudges his head to the stairs, Derek blinks in reply and it’s somehow a yes.
The pack watch them go, hear Stiles lay Derek down on the bed and settle in next to him, letting Derek fall asleep on the one person he’ll ever open up to. Derek knows it, the pack knows it yet Stiles doesn’t, never realises his importance in the pack, doesn’t seem to get that they wouldn’t be this pack with out him. And yet everyone lets the two men continue their charade of hating each other because no one can tell if Stiles would stay, would have an actually relationship with Derek and if Stiles didn’t want that they all know it would break there alpha.
Derek realises something else, he knows now that he wasn’t disarmed by a human he was disarmed by something much more extravagant than a human, something much more important, he was disarmed by Stiles .