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Remus was sick. In many definitions of the word. He wasn’t hesitant to mention something that was considered inappropriate by anyone’s standards, but he was also currently blowing his nose into a very large heavy duty garbage bag; so, he was sick in more than one sense. He whined as he crumpled up the bag and stuffed it into the tube of a roll of paper towels and chucked it halfheartedly across the room where it hit Mr. D in the back of the head. The agent in question did not so much as flinch as the object smacked him. He did, however, lower his phone to glare back at his ill employee who stared at him from where he was sprawled on the sofa. He resumed his conversation a moment later,
“Yes, sorry, I’m listening…no, no…I’m afraid not. I’ll get back in touch with you when I can. No, I can’t today…yes…my, uh, my child? Is sick?” Mr. D muttered something else below his breath before saying his goodbyes and hanging up. He turned back towards Remus and stepped over the roll with a look of disgust, “What, in heaven’s name, couldn’t wait twenty more seconds?” Remus stuck out his tongue and closed his eyes, as if that was supposed to mean something. Mr. D sighed and rolled his eyes, “Stay here.” He ordered before wandering into the kitchen.
The kitchen was a mess, as Roman’s kitchen always was since Patton’s departure. He heaved another sigh and rolled up his sleeves. With vigor and determination, he tackled the tower of dishes that were piled in and around the sink. Armed with newly scrubbed utensils, Janus set about preparing some soup. He paused every few minutes to check and make sure that Remus hadn’t run off somewhere. All was going well…too well…which is why Mr. D wasn’t at all surprised when he entered the sick room with the finished soup to find, not only Remus, but the entire sofa missing as well. Janus swore under his breath and set down the tray of soup and crackers before looking around quickly. There was no sign or clue where the crazed man had gone. The agent groaned, feeling his very bones grow tired under the weight of his self-established responsibilities.
Logan was reading a book outside in the massive garden that surrounded Roman’s house. The roses were blooming, and bees and butterflies were happily minding their own business. A few mockingbirds made themselves busy, chasing down a hawk that had the audacity to exist (yes, mockingbirds do this, I grew up in FL and mockingbirds are vicious). Logan glanced at them before putting his attention back to the mystery novel he was reading. He hummed slightly when a racket above him made him look up. A dark shadow launched itself out of the large window and Logan squinted. That looked oddly like a sofa. The boy’s eyes widened, and he screeched as the object that looked like a sofa turned out to be a sofa came falling to earth. It landed with a crash some six feet away from him. He stared with a pale face as Remus tumbled off it.
Remus looked around, having heard the screech, he was fully prepared to continue terrorizing whomever he had the fortune of meeting. However, upon locating the owner of the voice and seeing his youngest nephew pale and shaking, his wishful thinking about mayhem vanished. There was something in Remus that melted every time he was with the little boy. Now, he slid off the sofa and crept closer, watching the boy’s eyes lock on him. Logan, for his part, threw himself trustingly into his uncle’s arms. Remus cooed and stroked his hair,
“Sorry for scaring you, Birdie, I didn’t know you were down here.” Logan didn’t answer right away as Remus stood with the boy in his arms and heading back to the house. Once inside, Logan shifted a bit so he could look his uncle in the eye,
“Next time, look before you leap, please.” He said, his voice still shaking slightly. Remus smiled and brushed Logan’s hair back, frowning slightly,
“You’re cold.”
“He’s not, you’re warm.” Mr. D entered the room with his sleeves still rolled up but a slightly panicked look on his face, “Anyone hurt? I heard a crash that I can only assume Remus was the cause of.” Logan wriggled until he was let down. He pointed behind him,
“The sofa’s in the garden.” Mr. D sighed,
“Well, at least we have comfortable seating to view the roses now.” He reached out and took each of them by the hand, leading them back inside. “Logan,” he addressed the boy, “why don’t you go find Roman and Virgil and ask them if they have a dinner plan. I’m going to put Remus to bed.” He shooed Logan off before turning a cold look on Remus.
“In my defense, the sofa started it. It was trying to attack me.” Remus said quietly, trying to come across innocent. Janus tugged him up the stairs,
“I’m sure.” He muttered.
Leading Remus by the hand, Janus pulled him into his own private suite that Roman reserved for him. Before Janus had his face revealed, he’d required all the privacy that he could get. This room was perfect for that. The bright white walls flowed from the bedroom to the bathroom, completely closed off from the rest of the house. The décor was a mixture of browns and oranges, with splashes of baby blue. Remus wrinkled his nose at the perfect neatness of the whole room, not so much as a particle of dust. Mr. D was nothing if he wasn’t thorough. With this same thoroughness, he pulled Remus into the bathroom, grumbling the entire time. A warm washcloth was applied to Remus’ face as Janus wiped away snot and whatever sort of substances was on the employee’s face. He then brushed back Remus’ hair. The dark brown locks were growing out and the single strand of white was longer than the rest of the rat’s nest of hair. The agent quickly and carefully twisted the hair into several small braids to keep it out of his charge’s face. The ratty man pouted at his reflection, making faces at himself while Janus got his toothbrush ready.
“Right, brush your teeth while I find your pajamas.” Mr. D instructed before he left. The pjs were easy to find and he returned to the bathroom to find Remus attempting to swallow his toothbrush. Snatching the device away, Janus shoved the clothes into Remus’ hands, directing him to change and then come into the bedroom. Trusting the limo driver not to set anything on fire, he left once more, fetching the soup, and nearly running into Logan.
“Janus,” the lad chirped, “I was just coming to find you. Uncle Roman says that he already has dinner planned and to say thank you for taking care of Uncle Remus.” He smiled as Janus nodded in understanding,
“Thank you, Logan. I’ll leave them in your capable hands, then. Do make sure that everyone else stays alive and in one piece. I’m off to make sure Remus doesn’t throw anymore furniture out of windows.” He paused, “Has Roman found out about that yet?” Logan shook his head, “Right." Mr. D sighed, "See if you can’t distract him until I’m free to help handle the situation.” The boy nodded and Mr. D set off again.
Remus was, thankfully, still in the bedroom and had somehow managed to hang all of the sheets and blankets from the ceiling, making a sort of cocoon like hammock for himself. He stuck his head out of one end, showing that one of his braids was already coming undone. Mr. D sighed and set the tray of now lukewarm soup on the bedside table. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot, staring at Remus expectantly,
“How do you expect to eat when you’re up there?” He asked with one raised eyebrow. The man didn’t answer, merely opened his mouth and stared back at agent. Mr. D’s expression dropped from expectant to an expression that can best be described as questioning his situation in life and then acceptance. He sighed and took the bowl, stirring it slightly before scooping some out and slipping the spoon into Remus’ expectant mouth. “Don’t bite the spoon!” He scolded but continued to feed the sick man-child.
With the soup gone, Mr. D turned to leave when a high-pitched wail made him stop in his tracks. Remus continued to mimic the sounds of a broken fire engine siren until the agent turned back around. The glare he shot at Remus was less threatening and more tired. With another deep sigh, he tried to remember that everything that was happening was entirely his fault. There was no reason he should be the one taking care of Remus. That is, if you ignored the fact that anyone else might end up dead or killing the crazy man unless he killed himself first. He had to shout to be heard over the abominable noise issuing from Remus’ mouth,
“Oh for heaven’s sake, what?!” Remus stopped wailing and blinked at the agent,
“Stay?” He asked. His voice was quiet, rasping slightly due to his cold. His face was flushed with the fever, and he sniffed pitifully. Mr. D let his shoulders drop and turned to set the tray down. He toed his shoes off and settled on the bed, keeping himself out of range if Remus’ makeshift bed were to suddenly fall. He looked up at the man, whose wide eyes continued to stare at him, like Janus might suddenly vanish or like he wanted something more from the tired mom friend. Finally, the staring got too much,
“What?” He asked at last. Remus pouted down at him,
“Sing for me?”
“Excuse me?” Mr. D spluttered. Remus reached down and patted the agent’s lips with one finger,
“Siiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg!” He whined. Mr. D groaned,
“Alright! Alright! Fine! Stop caterwauling!” He paused for a moment before beginning to sing softly.
The lullaby that issued from his lips was one he pulled from some distant childhood memory that he pulled from somewhere deep in his mind. It was about sacrifice and giving everything for nothing in return. As he sang, he was reminded of his mother, and her endless source of love she held for everyone. His mind wandered as he sang, somehow remembering each word. When the last few haunting notes slipped from his lips, his eyes finally sought Remus again. He was pleased to find that that the man in question was asleep with drool dripping from his slightly open mouth.
“Sleep well, Remus.” He smiled softly before getting up and moving out of the room. Almost immediately, he was greeted by the sound of Virgil and Roman bickering and Logan trying to bring an end to the squabble,
“WHY!?” Roman was shouting, “WHY WOULD YOU RUIN DISNEY FOR ME?!” Virgil chuckled wickedly,
“Face it, Princey, not as happily ever after as you thought.”
Janus sighed and rolled his eyes, shaking himself slightly before venturing out once more. He put his best stormy expression on and marched out, crossing his arms and standing next to Logan, already starting to scold the two drama kings before they realized he’d walked in. He only had so much time before Remus woke up again and realized that his favorite sane person wasn’t there. He almost laughed at himself. Here he was, giving himself unconditionally to these people, asking nothing in return and, strangely enough, loving every second of it. The thought was interrupted by a new screech from Roman,
"WHY IS THE COUCH IN THE GARDEN?!" This was followed by a thud coming from Remus' room. The sleep he'd been enjoying must've been disturbed by Roman's volume. Sure enough, the wailing started up again. Mr. D sighed, rubbed his eyes with one hand, and wondered if it was too early to retire.