Work Text:
This is not how he envisioned this going.
If there was one thing Loid Forger was good at, it was going all out on something. Whether that was going out on a picnic with his family, or taking them to fancy restaurants or amusement parks, it could never be said that he didn't put 100% effort into everything that he did. In some instances, he would spend hours or even days coming up with the perfect strategy for maximum family fun time. All for the sake of keeping his wife and daughter happy...correction, his fake wife and daughter. Though, that distinction wasn't all that important at the moment.
No, Loid was far too busy staring at the pathetic-looking cake tin in front of him to care about semantics.
It was the sole remnant of a botched surprise birthday party, one he'd been sure would go off without a hitch. It was going to be spectacular; a giant cake with pink frosting, a bouquet of roses, streamers, an apartment full of people...Loid had planned it all in his head days in advance, and worked tirelessly to make it all happen. Because why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't he give Yor Forger, unwitting pawn to the most elaborate cover op in WISE's history, the best birthday ever? In his mind, she deserved it- really, she deserved more, but this was the most he could hope to give her.
So Loid pulled out all the stops. He called the department store and placed an order for a necklace he knew she'd been looking at in catalogs lately. He talked to the local florist and made sure they had a bouquet ready for him the day-of. He went about calling Frankie, Yuri, and even Yor's work friends, and told them all about his plans to surprise her. He then went to the market and bought all the decorations, along with ingredients to bake a cake at home. He figured Anya would enjoy helping him, and he was correct in that assumption.
Then the big day came...and it all kind of went to shit after that.
Yor went to work none the wiser about her family's plans to surprise her later. She seemed a bit rushed, and didn't even acknowledge the fact that it was her birthday before leaving to go catch her train to work- though of course wished Loid and Anya a pleasant day before departing. Loid took it as a good sign that she really wasn't expecting anything for her birthday. All the better for their plans to surprise her, and it wasn't long before he went to work enacting them. But first, he had to drop Anya off at the bus stop. Birthday or not, she still had to go to school.
Immediately upon her getting on the bus however, reality came knocking in the form of a familiar face. As the vehicle pulled away, an older man with a mustache appeared before Loid; his older WISE colleague. Even before he flashed him a signal informing him of another mission, Loid balled a fist at his presence. He didn't even wait for the man to explain what this was about- he simply marched straight to Handler's office and accepted the mission without another word. He couldn't afford to waste time speaking, with her or anyone else. His only goal was to complete the mission, so he could then go home and work on his mission.
One foiled assassination plot later, and Loid returned to debrief in record time.
His speed was commendable, though ultimately didn't do him any favors. As if fate were trying to send him a message, the minute Loid emerged from Handler's office onto the street, the heavens opened up and started to pour down on him. With no umbrella, Loid was forced to hurry in the rain; he still had to go to the florist and department store, and the only way to get to both of them was to walk there. Dismayed, but undeterred, he plodded through the downpour and eventually made it to his first stop, the florist.
...Turns out they never received their shipment of roses.
...Okay, so...something else red?
There was nothing. That was his wife's favorite color, and they didn't even have it. Loid didn't see much point in getting flowers at the moment anyway. Both he and the streets were drenched at the moment, and anything he got would likely be drowned by the time he made it home. So he scratched the bouquet and instead hedged all his bets on the department store. He'd placed that order close to a week ago and there was no way they wouldn't have that necklace in stock (though to be fair, he also ordered the flowers a week ago, too, and that didn't really work out all that well either).
More walking. More rain. His feet sloshed as he entered the dry department store, and he received funny looks as he dripped all over the floor.
Loid's face fell about as low as his stomach when the nice cashier lady apologized profusely that due to the necklace's popularity, all orders had been placed on hold until further notice. She offered to help him find a suitable replacement, though Loid shot that idea down. He knew Yor wanted that particular one. If he got her something else, that might backfire and make it seem like he didn't know what she liked. The last thing he wanted was to give her another excuse to view him as a horrible husband, so to that end he declined the woman's offer and simply trudged back out into the rain.
He still had the party. Still had food, and the cake, and the decorations. That could still be enough for him to salvage something respectable, right? Loid allowed himself that little boost of confidence, even as the minutes ticked by and he still didn't have anything ready yet. By the time he made it back home, it was already half-past noon. Anya would be getting off school in a couple hours, and he had to have everything ready beforehand if he was going to have her help him set everything up. In the meantime, he'd call his guests up and confirm that they were arriving at the scheduled time.
Yuri was a flat out no. That took Loid as a complete shock...until it was revealed that Yuri was planning on taking Yor out after Loid's planned get-together. When it was then explained to the younger Briar that there would, in-fact, be dinner served at the party, Loid was met with an angry slew of words and a promise to have him arrested if he so much as thought about ruining his sweet sister's birthday plans. Loid stared flatly at the wall as the conversation ended with a click, and all he could do was shake his head as he went to try another number; honestly, he wasn't even surprised anymore.
He called Yor's work (discreetly of course) and asked to talk to Camilla. She sounded a bit annoyed, until she found out it was him calling. Her tune changed, and she explained in her sanitized voice that she and the other girls wouldn't be able to make it that night due to a scheduling conflict (it was brawtwurst night). Loid didn't even wait to hear the rest of it before hanging up to dial another number. This time, Frankie picked up. Loid begged him to say that he'd be there later for the party...and was met with an unnerving pause on the other end of the line. He eyed the phone.
"...Ah, that was tonight? Uh, about that-"
Click.
He hated everything and everyone.
Frazzled, Loid tried to salvage the evening- though first he had to dry off. Bond lapped at the growing puddle at Loid's feet, and the man didn't even have the time to clean it up. He rushed to dry off and changed out of the suit he'd chosen for the occasion, defaulting instead to sweatpants and a shirt. He'd change into something more presentable later. Currently, his priority was on making sure they had something to eat for the party. He didn't have the time he thought he would, so dinner would mostly be finger foods. Sandwiches, chopped fruit, and cheese. How...extravagant.
Loid's only saving grace left was the cake. It was the one thing he was sure he could deliver on. His initial plan was to have Anya help him bake it, but nothing was really going to plan at that moment. He'd do most of it himself, then let her decorate it afterwards. Loid started to pull out all the ingredients, then went to work mixing them up in a bowl in record time. He made enough to easily fill several cake tins and popped them in the oven once it was properly pre-heated. By the time the time Anya made it home, the kitchen was already filled with the sweet smell of baked goods.
"Papa! Why'd you change your suit? It looked good!" Anya commented as she dropped her backpack at the door.
Loid took off the moment he heard the door open. He zoomed past Anya to grab the bag of decorations off the table. "No time. Must decorate."
Anya blinked as her father deposited a pile of streamers and shiny things into her hands. He instructed her to go nuts, and the little girl's eyes lit up as she and Bond started making their way around the apartment. They placed tinsel on the dining room chairs, while papa went to work blowing some balloons and hanging things up where Anya couldn't reach. Together, the three of them got the place looking like a respectable birthday party. Once finished, they gathered at the kitchen and inspected their handiwork from afar. Yor would love it. Definitely.
"Okay, now it's time to pull out the cakes and frost them," Loid instructed. Anya shook with excitement.
He went to retrieve the cake tins, and immediately his heart sank. Loid paused with his hand still in the hot oven, but not even the burning heat could snap him out of his stupor; he could already see the cakes hadn't risen. But why? He'd baked hundreds of times before! Speechless, Loid pulled the cakes out and dropped them on the counter. They were fully cooked, though flat as a pancake. It took him a moment to figure out, but when it hit him he smacked his head in frustration. Loid's eyes snapped to the ingredients he'd used, particularly the baking powder.
Or rather, the baking soda.
In his rush he'd grabbed the wrong thing, and now Yor's cake was ruined. There was literally nothing he could do to salvage it; the most he could do was take the leftover batter and add some acid to it. That would make it work like regular baking powder, though there was only enough left in the bowl for one measly cake tin. With little options left however, Loid went forward with his plan. Anya received a quick chemistry lesson as her father grabbed some cream of tartar and mixed it in with the batter. He cleaned out one of the cake tins and filled it again before popping it in the oven.
And...that's how it all culminated in this moment.
Loid, sitting at the table, staring at the one-layer, sloppily decorated birthday cake that looked nothing like how he'd envisioned. Anya had gone a bit overboard with the frosting, and it clumped in certain places more than others. Also she had insisted on doing the lettering. With her giant handwriting all she could manage to fit on there was the word "MAMA" in royal blue. Loid could only shake and hang his head. This entire thing had been a disaster from start to finish, and he shuddered to think how disappointed Yor would be when she came home and saw everything.
As if on queue, the jingle of keys could be heard at the front door, and Loid closed his eyes in dismay. He exhaled as the door opened and his wife entered, and mentally prepared himself for the groveling he was about to do. Loid quickly heard a gasp, and he opened his eyes to find Yor standing at the entryway with her hand over her mouth. She looked shocked, and her eyes darted around the apartment. At that same moment, from the corner of the room, Anya and Bond hopped up from behind the love seat. With a cone-hat on her head and a grin on her face, Anya let loose a small confetti gun.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA!" She shouted. Bond's whole body wiggled with excitement as the little girl jumped up and down beside him.
"Oh!?" Yor blinked. She lowered her hands, just enough to where Loid and Anya could see the corner of her lips begin to curl. "W-Whats all this!?"
"Me and papa wanted to surprise you on your birthday!" Anya explained as she ran up to mama. "We got you cake, and food, and decorations, and a whole party!"
Yor's jaw hung open as she went to accept the hug her daughter gave her. She continued to stare at the apartment for a minute, before finally letting her eyes wander to the dining room. It was at that point Loid finally rose to his feet. He gave a muted smile when her eyes fell on him. She smiled back, and the gesture only made him feel all the more conflicted.
"Happy birthday, Yor," Loid wished her gingerly. "Also, I'm sorry, but- there isn't going to be much of a party this evening. Just the three of us, it seems."
"There were more people?" Yor asked incredulously. Loid nodded, and explained the guest list. She blushed. "Oh my. That's so many!"
"Yes, well, they won't be joining us," Loid recounted bitterly. "And, dinner isn't quite what I had planned. And the cake-"
"-You got me a cake, too?" his wife cut him off. She clung to Anya tighter, and the little girl interjected.
"Yeah! Papa baked you a big one, but it came out all smooshed. So we made you another one!"
Anya squeezed her mama before letting go to go fetch the cake from the table. Yor watched as her daughter got up on the chair and tried to lift the thing up herself. Loid, knowing this was a bad idea and already on-edge after everything else that had happened that evening, went in to help her. He picked Anya up in one arm and the cake in the other. Anya held the other side as the two of them came up to Yor and presented her the pathetic-looking thing. Loid wanted nothing more than to disappear; he couldn't stand the idea that this was all he had to offer Yor on her birthday.
Part of him wanted her to be upset at him. Initially, her reaction seemed to point towards that conclusion. "You...baked me this?"
"Yes..." Loid admitted. His face twisted in unspoken apology, even as Anya continued to beam under his wing.
Yor's face lit up. It caught Loid completely off-guard. "No one's ever baked me a cake before! Not since I was a little girl, at least."
"Do you really like it?" Anya replied. She pointed to the letters written in frosting. "I wrote your name on it!"
"I love it," Yor giggled. She grabbed the cake from her family and stared down at it with a beaming smile. "It looks amazing!"
Anya cheered. Loid, meanwhile, stared at his wife in disbelief. He watched quietly as she listened to Anya's explanation of what happened with the cake. He cringed internally when she got to the part about mixing up the two baking ingredients, though Yor didn't seem at all upset by it. That was the part that threw Loid for a loop; even knowing of what could have been, she seemed genuinely happy with the cake they'd made her. Maybe it was out of pity for them that she had that smile on her face, and the thought only made Loid feel all the more guilty. He wanted to come clean about everything.
"I had more planned than this." The words stumbled out of his mouth, for the first time not sounding clean or rehearsed. "I swear."
Yor tilted her head, still smiling. "Really? Well, I can't imagine much else you could have done. This is already the best birthday I've ever had!"
Loid froze. He stared at his wife for a moment, and she stared back. The warmth in her face melted his veins, and his voice creaked. "Are you serious?"
Happy red filled Yor's cheeks. "Of course. I've got lovely decorations, a cake with my name on it, and the two of you here with me. What more could I ask for?"
Time stopped for Loid. A battle raged on in his head; truth be told, he wanted to keep apologizing to Yor. He wanted to let her know about the necklace and the bouquet. He wanted to tell her how bratty her kid brother was, and how she really needed to get new work friends. He wanted to let her know all of the things that he had failed to do for her...but just couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. Not when Yor looked and sounded so genuinely happy at that moment. Any negative word or thought would only spoil that for her, and he just couldn't live with himself if he allowed that to happen.
So for her sake and, ultimately, his sake, too, Loid reciprocated his wife's smile. Even if he didn't think he deserved to share one with her. "It makes me glad to hear you say that. Thank you."
"Why wouldn't I? You make me happy." The words seemed to escape Yor's lips in the same way Loid's had earlier, in the sense that it caught her off-guard as well as her husband.
Loid paused. He glanced at his daughter, and the little girl stared back at her papa with her signature smirk. His cheeks turned red. "Y-Yes, well...uh, who's hungry?"
"Ooo, me!" Anya ceased her smirking and threw her hand in the air. Yor nodded quickly in agreement to hide her equally red face.
Loid eyed the sandwiches in the kitchen and made a face. "How about we go out to a restaurant instead?"
"That sounds lovely," Yor responded. "If that's the case, I'll put the cake away for later."
Everyone agreed and separated temporarily. Yor dropped the cake off in the fridge, while Loid went to go change into more respectable clothes. Anya, meanwhile, continued popping confetti guns to pass the time and Bond kept snapping at the debris as it fell to the floor. A minute or two later and everyone was finally ready to go. Papa fetched his keys and mama grabbed her purse. Anya marched out the door at her father's instruction, and he was the last one to exit as they went out for the evening. One last time, Loid glanced at the decorations he and Anya hung and smiled.
He instructed Bond to watch the apartment, then closed the door.
The Forgers then made their way to the stairs, off to finish celebrating a very important birthday party.