Chapter Text
Just ten more minutes.
Mark has been counting down in intervals of ten for the past hour. The countdown started at sixty minutes and is finally at ten. So close. Just a little longer.
This is normal — wishing dance practice would end quickly so that he could finally rest — but today he’s eager to get back to the dorms for a different reason.
After today’s practice, the group is being granted an extended weekend of four days off. Promotions are wrapping up and their last stage performance was earlier in the week. Everyone is exhausted and looking forward to four luxurious days of doing nothing.
Mark is particularly excited for the lengthy off-time — looking forward to seeking relaxation in the most effective way he’s found — age regression .
He’d tried many things to manage his stress in the past: yoga, meditation, and taking up random hobbies. None of those things worked too well for him though. Mark had been convinced he would be doomed with inescapable stress for the rest of his life until he discovered age regression.
It all started with an ‘Effective ways to cope with stress’ search that led him to a link to a blog that piqued his interest. He didn’t see the appeal at first, and even doubted it would work for him. But Mark is a person willing to try anything at least once.
And trying out age regression turned out to be one of the best decisions he’s ever made.
The 127 unit’s dance practice comes to an end after everyone successfully completes a run-through of the newly-learned choreography without any mistakes. The choreographer sends them off with a reminder to stay hydrated and enjoy their weekend off.
“I can not wait to get back to the dorms,” Jungwoo sighs out heavily as he climbs into the van waiting outside for them. “I am going to take the longest nap of my life.”
“Yeah right,” Doyoung chides as he gets in next, “you always say that and then proceed to loudly play dumb video games all night.”
“Hey, they’re not dumb,” Jungwoo gasps in offense.
Light chatter ensues, half of the members ramble about how they plan to spend their off-days while the other half of the group sits silent from exhaustion. Mark sits between a talkative Jungwoo and half-asleep Taeil.
“How are you going to spend your days off, Mark? Going to practice a new song on the guitar?” Jungwoo questions, leaning towards Mark with interest.
“Uhhh…” Mark trails off, “yeah, maybe. I’m just going to focus on relaxing while I can.”
Taeil chimes in with a hum of agreement at Mark’s words, already relaxed against the window with his eyes closed.
“What do you guys want for dinner? I’ll order-in now so that our food will be delivered quicker.” Taeyong has a food delivery app open on his phone as he asks the question, thumb tapping away at his screen as the other members list off what they want.
Mark spaces out, vaguely processing the food orders being discussed around him as he thinks about what awaits him back at the dorms. Soft blankets, coloring books, his favorite paci…
“Mark?”
Mark blinks, pulled out of his thoughts. He turns towards the source of the voice that called out to him, meeting Johnny’s gaze. “Huh?”
“Taeyong asked what you want to eat,” Johnny reminds him about the waiting leader.
“Oh, right,” Mark turns his attention to Taeyong, “I’ll just take some spicy rice cakes.”
“With or without cheese?” Taeyong asks without looking up from his phone.
“With.”
Taeyong nods to acknowledge that he’s got it down, announcing that he placed the group’s order shortly after.
The van pulls up to the dorm building and everyone piles out, stretching and heading inside. Donghyuck announces that he’s ditching his and Johnny’s shared room in favor of spending his days off at the dreamies dorm.
“You sure you don’t want to come along too, Mark? We’re going to have the biggest sleepover ever.”
Mark shakes his head. “I really just want to rest, but maybe next time.”
The dreamies had already texted him an invite through their dream unit group chat, but Mark declined earlier and his answer remains unchanged. On any other occasion, he would tag along with Donghyuck without a second thought — but not today.
Mark is thankful that he gets to the shower first, not wasting any time scrubbing his skin clean of sweat. All tension leaves his body as the shower’s hot water runs against his skin. He’s almost tempted to stay in the shower longer, but there’s an invisible force dragging him towards his room.
“Shower’s open,” Mark calls out to no one in particular as he disappears behind the door of his room.
It’s times like this that Mark is extra grateful for having a room to himself. The sound of Jungwoo and Jaehyun arguing over movies reaches his ears, fading into background noise as Mark’s mind fills with a good kind of fuzziness.
He reaches under his bed to retrieve a shoebox — though there’s no shoes inside. A happy glint sparks in Mark’s eyes as he stares down at the contents of the box.
There’s a marvel coloring book, a 24-pack of crayons, a tether, a spiderman sippy cup, and a pacifier. He immediately reaches for the pacifier — his favorite item — a custom item he got from an online store. The pacifier is dark blue with a sleeping bear pendant on the shield and letter beads spelling out ‘little cub’ on the ring.
A happy noise falls past Mark’s lips as he pops the soother into his mouth, sucking lightly. Discreet packaging made it possible for him to get his hands on the customized adult pacifier that he adores so much. He’d quickly invested in the soothing item when he found that standard children’s pacifiers didn’t quite cut it for him.
There’s muffled voices from the others conversing, but Mark pats them no mind as he climbs onto his bed. His favorite stuffie — a teddy bear named cubby — finds its way into his arms as he lays down.
Mark means to put cartoons on the tv, but he feels too small and comfortable in bed to get up and do it. His mind clears of all thoughts and stress as he sucks away at his pacifier. No thoughts — Head empty — Only warm fuzziness.
Mark’s body feels like a weight, resting heavily against his mattress as he mumbles nonsense to cubby. Comfort floods into all of his senses and Mark feels content. There’s an itch in the back of his mind — a kind of longing that he doesn’t understand right now — a weird sort of loneliness. He isn’t lonely, though. He has cubby.
He doesn’t mean to fall asleep. The consequences of pulling multiple all-nighters for the past week hits him like a truck — all at once. Mark’s eyelids grow heavy as he stares at the teddy bear in his arm, blinking slowly until cubby disappears from his sight. He realizes his eyes are shut, but he can’t open them; doesn’t want to.
Mark slips into a peaceful — unplanned — nap, squeezing cubby in his arms as he slips further into his headspace. He feels tiny and tired, so he sleeps.
╳
“The food’s here, can you take the 10F boys their half for me? I’m going to hop in the shower.” Taeyong calls out to Johnny, already halfway to the bathroom with a towel and fresh change of clothes in hand.
“Sure, no problem.” Johnny agrees easily. He figures it’s the least he can do, considering Taeyong already did the hardest part by ordering everyone’s food.
After a moment’s thought, Johnny decides to take his food along with him. With Donghyuck out for the weekend, Johnny is left with a room to himself. As much as he would normally enjoy that — he feels like hanging out with someone — namely Yuta or Mark.
The elevator ride up to the 10th floor of the dorm building is a short one. Jungwoo eagerly greets him at the door, practically yanking him inside.
“Where is everyone?” Johnny questions as he sets the takeout bags on the table.
There’s an odd lack of member-presence in the dorm, only Jungwoo and Jaehyun being present in the kitchen.
“Taeil’s napping,” Yuta answers Johnny’s question, toweling his hair dry, “And I just got out of the shower.”
“What about Mark?” Johnny asks, realizing the missing presence of the younger male.
“I haven’t seen him since he finished showering,” Jungwoo replies around a mouthful of food.
“He went straight into his room and hasn’t come back out,” Jaehyun adds. “He probably went to sleep.”
“I’ll go check on him to see if he’s awake and let him know the food’s here,” Yuta announces.
Johnny nods, starting in on his own food. Part of him hopes Mark is resting because he knows how much the younger male needs it, but another part of him hopes Mark is awake because Johnny really wants to hang out with him and Yuta.
Jungwoo ropes him into a debate with Jaehyun by stating that “Water isn’t wet” to which Jaehyun immediately argues. Johnny isn’t really sure how the topic came up but he becomes invested in the argument between the two roommates.
╳
“Mark~?” Yuta calls out softly, peeking his head into the younger male’s room when he doesn’t get a response to his light knocking.
He’s quiet as he steps inside to check if Mark is asleep or not, careful to not wake him up if he is resting.
“Are you awake?” Yuta whispers, not earning a response.
He reaches down to pull the blanket up over the sleeping male — not wanting him to get cold — but stops in his tracks when Mark shifts in his sleep, bringing his face into view — just barely peeking above the stuffed bear in his arms.
Yuta has to blink a few times to ensure he isn’t seeing things, but there’s no mistaking it.
A pacifier.
Right there, between Mark’s lips. It looks a little bigger than any average pacifier he’s ever seen, but it’s definitely a pacifier.
Yuta’s a little — a lot — confused. But he can’t help but feel like he has stumbled across something he wasn’t meant to see. Even though he didn’t mean to — he definitely feels like he’s invaded Mark’s privacy.
A guilty feeling begins to eat at him, so he stands to leave. Before he even gets the chance to turn around, he hears Johnny’s warm — but loud — voice behind him.
“Everything okay, Yuta? You said you were going to check on Mark almost twenty minutes ago- ”
Three things happen all at once.
Johnny stops talking — Mark wakes up — Yuta forgets how to breathe.
A beat of silence passes.
Yuta swears he can hear someone’s heart beating — but highly doubts it’s his own considering he felt his heart come to a complete stop the moment Mark sat up.
No one says anything. No one moves.
Yuta and Johnny stare forward like two deer in headlights — eyes wide — faces displaying a mix of shock and cluelessness.
Mark blinks once. Then twice. His hair is slightly messied from his sleep. His eyelids are only half-open, casting a confused, sleepy gaze at the two older males standing across from him as he sucks on his pacifier.
It’s very clear the moment realization hits Mark. His sleepy eyes shoot open — wide as saucers — and his pacifier falls from between his lips.
Yuta still can’t remember how to breathe, but it feels like an invisible force knocks all the air from his body when he notices Mark’s wide eyes welling up with tears. The moment Mark’s bottom lip begins to quiver — making it clear that he was in fact beginning to cry — Yuta all but flew to his side.
Johnny closes Mark’s door quickly — but quietly — before hurrying to join Yuta in hugging a crying Mark.
“Don’t cry, Mark, it’s okay.” Yuta attempts to soothe the crying male, petting a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm him down.
“We’re sorry, please don’t cry,” Johnny adds, rubbing Mark’s back to console him.
Mark just sobs, babbling incoherent things that neither Yuta nor Johnny are able to decipher. Tears run down his cheeks and his body shakes with sobs. He’s sleepy and frustrated .
Mark’s face goes red from embarrassment and it’s clear that he’s very upset.
Yuta and Johnny exchange guilty glances, feeling bad as they fail to console Mark. Yuta glances down at where the fallen pacifier is resting on the bed, contemplating before picking it up. He realizes that his idea can either go really well or really terribly — but it’s the only other idea he has.
He holds the pacifier up to Mark’s lips hesitantly. “Hey, hey, it’s okay~ don’t cry. Here you go.”
Mark seems to go through an inner-conflict, sniffling and hiccuping on sobs before opening his mouth to accept the pacifier.
Yuta more-than-happily obliges, pressing the pacifier between Mark’s lips. Although he still doesn’t fully understand what’s going on, Yuta realizes that the pacifier effectively calms Mark’s cries down and that’s all he wants right now.
“Shhh, it’s alright, you’re okay~”
Johnny speaks softly to Mark, pulling the younger male into his arms and cuddling him there. He continues rubbing Mark’s back as he hugs the younger male to his chest, gently swaying their bodies from side to side on the bed.
Mark’s soft cries become light sniffles before fading to slightly uneven breaths. Johnny looks across the bed to meet Yuta’s eyes, silently mouthing, Is he asleep?
Yuta cranes his head to look at Mark’s face where it is pressed against Johnny’s chest. He is met with closed eyes and blotchy red, tear-stained cheeks.
“Yeah, he’s asleep,” Yuta whispers so quietly he’s not even sure Johnny hears him.
Johnny nods, indicating he did hear him. He moves slowly, attempting to lay Mark down, but freezes when Mark whines. The younger male’s hands tightly ball up the fabric of Johnny’s shirt, clinging to him.
Johnny can’t help but smile at the action, not minding at all. He lets Mark stay right there — snuggled comfortably in his arms.
Yuta slips out of the room briefly before returning with a warm washcloth. He carefully maneuvers Mark around so that he can wipe the dried tears off the sleeping male’s cheeks, hushing softly when Mark starts to whine at being bothered in his sleep.
Yuta joins the other two on the bed again, gently carding a hand through Mark’s hair. Him and Johnny stare at each other, sharing a wordless conversation with their eyes as Mark snores softly between them. Neither speak a single word, making sure not to disturb the sleeping male.
╳
Mark wakes up feeling more rested than he has in a long time. He feels warm and so comfortable. He’s tempted to slip back into the cozy, sleepy haze calling his name — but it suddenly all comes back to him.
He shoots straight up, eyes wide with alarm. Any remaining fuzziness of his headspace clears quickly as he’s faced with the reality of the situation he’s in. Yuta and Johnny are right there with him — on his bed — staring at him worriedly at the way he suddenly jumped up from his sleep.
They look like they’re concerned he might start crying again — and honestly — Mark feels really tempted to do just that.
Instead, he detaches himself from Johnny and awkwardly reaches up to grab the pacifier from his mouth, hiding it behind his back as if that will do anything. He clears his throat awkwardly, not knowing what to say.
He settles for, “You weren’t supposed to know… about that,” Mark clears his throat again. “No one was...”
Yuta and Johnny both look at each other and Mark worries that they’re judging him. His ears burn red with embarrassment, but before he can overthink things, they both speak up.
Apologies flood Mark from both directions. Guilt is evident on Yuta and Johnny’s faces and their voices are laced with sincerity.
“I’m so sorry, Mark, I really didn’t mean to invade your privacy and you have every right to be mad at me,” Yuta apologizes, looking upset at himself.
“Me too, I’m really sorry, Mark. I feel really bad. If there’s any way I can make it up to you just-” Johnny cuts off when Mark speaks up.
“It’s okay, guys, really. Don’t beat yourselves up over it. You had no way of knowing. It was my own fault, I let go of myself irresponsibly and forgot to lock my door.” Mark sighs, “I should have known I would fall asleep. It was a mistake on my end. I’m not mad at either of you.”
Yuta and Johnny still look like they feel bad, but a shared sigh of relief passes between them when Mark clarified that he isn’t mad at them. It’s silent between them for a while, no one knowing how to address the elephant in the room — or technically — the pacifier in the hands — Mark’s hands.
Yuta decides to ask the question they’re clearly skirting around here. “Do you mind if I ask about the pacifier?” Yuta hurriedly adds, “I’m not judging you or anything. Just wondering. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
Mark chews at his lip — a nervous habit — and contemplates how to answer the question.
There’s a large gap of silence. Johnny and Yuta begin to think Mark doesn’t want to talk about it. Before either of them can wave it off, Mark speaks up, answering Yuta’s question with a question of his own.
“Have you guys ever heard of age regression?”