Work Text:
Hua Cheng leaned on his hand, his head slightly tilted, the long strands of his dark hair falling over his right eye, obscuring the black medical patch underneath. His gaze was trained ahead, almost deathly in its intensity, scaring off everyone who ventured onto his field of vision. His thin lips were set into a scowl and if you asked anyone on campus they would confidently say this was how Hua Cheng always looked: glaring, frowning, icy stare fixed onto a very specific couple.
Well, almost anyone.
Xie Lian, the exception that proved the rule.
While others scurried away from Hua Cheng’s path, avoiding eye contact as if their life depended on it, Xie Lian never received anything but charming smiles that revealed dimples most people would be hard pressed to even comprehend the existence of, Hua Cheng’s eyes crinkled and his normally deep voice settled into something soft and sweet whenever Xie Lian so much as glanced his way.
Right then, though, there was something else marring Hua Cheng’s otherwise perfect view of his childhood best friend and long time crush, and it had its disgusting arms wrapped around Xie Lians perfect waist.
Jun Wu, one of the most popular students in the university, president of countless clubs and however many sports teams and, worst of all, the most notorious player and serial heartbreaker in the whole town, probably.
He and Xie Lian were highschool sweethearts, their sickly sweet relationship having been the envy of the whole town before Jun Wu left for college, leaving Xie Lian behind but not before having him swear to move across the country after graduation so they could attend the same university after Xie Lian’s graduation a year later. And Xie Lian, an angel among humans, promised him everything with a graceful smile on his lips, starry eyed and still newly in love.
And what was Hua Cheng to do but follow after him, helplessly, devotedly, always standing in his shadow, not even able to comprehend a future in which he was not there for Xie Lian, no matter what. Even through all the various ups and downs of his relationship with Jun Wu, holding him as he cried in heartbreak, smiling with him whenever Jun Wu always undoubtedly made more empty promises to get Xie Lian to return to him, again and again, even if Hua Cheng, on most days, wanted nothing more than get his bare hands on Jun Wu’s stupidly defined neck and twist his sorry head off his muscular shoulders and kick it to the curb while sweeping a giggling Xie Lian into his arms, where he belonged, safe and treasured as he should always be.
But, as hopelessly as he was in love with his best friend, as long as Xie Lian was happy, Hua Cheng would learn to be content and so, there he sat, alone on the park bench, his back hunched as he leaned on his hand, watching Xie Lian throw his head back in sweet laughter as Jun Wu told him something Hua Cheng was too far away to hear.
In the shade of the trees above him, he looked up at the gaps of sunlight falling on his face, thinking, I love you more than anything.
-
The story of Hua Cheng and Xie Lian went like this:
They were sitting across from each other in a shitty little noodle place with a broken sign that only lit up half way, menus that one could scarcely read and an air conditioner that rattled on the wall still but hadn’t truly worked in years or more, and Hua Cheng was watching Xie Lian pour too much sauce in his noodles, his tongue poking out from between his full lips in concentration, and Hua Cheng leaned on his hand, thinking I love you, and as Xie Lian managed to get some of the sauce on his cheek and Hua Cheng leaned across the table to swipe it off with his thumb, he was almost brave enough to say it, too.
Before that, they were laying on Hua Cheng’s bed, listening to the radio that his parents always played loudly in the next room, the announcer talking about a car crash, two injured, but no deaths, and the two of them were laying side by side on his cramped bed with the blue sheets that had small holes in them, looking at the ceiling with the water stains, Xie Lian giggling as Hua Cheng’s breath tickled his neck. The sunshine fell on them through the small window like a living thing, painting Xie Lian’s big brown eyes into golden pools of light, Hua Cheng drowning beside him, helpless to do anything but love him and love him and love him and—
Earlier still, in Xie Lians kitchen, listening to his father’s old records, dancing cheek to cheek, barely more than swaying from side to side, hands clasped tight, Xie Lian leaning his head onto Hua Cheng’s, almost of height, revolving slowly around the spacious room with the giant windows, hearts beating to the same rhythm. They were in highschool then, Xie Lian nervous to go to his first school dance with his then new boyfriend Jun Wu, and Hua Cheng, desperately grasping for anything Xie Lian might give him, like an abandoned house cat feeding off of scraps of touches, fleeting gazes and small moments of undivided attention, had offered to teach him how to dance.
And so, he had his arms wrapped around the love of his life, his eyes closed tight, ears tuned to the rhythm of Xie Lian’s breathing, as always. Hua Cheng had never danced before in his life, or maybe he learned how to dance from thinking about Xie Lian.
And so they had always been, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, one never too far apart from the other, having grown up holding each other's hands. Xie Lian had, the first time they met, offered a sunny smile and his gentle hand to Hua Cheng, who was sitting on the street curb, soaked to the bone after his parents kicked him out for the night, and he had looked into his eyes, always so kind, and that was that. Hua Cheng had been but a child then, but even so after that rainy evening, every time he would look down, his fingers would be intertwined with Xie Lian’s, maybe it just happened, maybe they had been holding each other close for the last 7 days, their bodies so inexplicably bonded, so comfortable with each other it was only natural for them to be always reaching out, their hands always searching for the other.
And yet.
And yet Hua Cheng was a coward, a coward who loved Xie Lian more than anything else in the whole entire world, yet still unable to fully embrace it, always hearing the sneers of other ringing in his ears, of how ugly and disgusting he was, how desperate he looked, hanging off of Xie Lian like that, how he looked nothing more than rabid dog who has thrown a bone once and helplessly clung to that one piece of kindness as if it was all he knew.
And it might as well have been, no one else had ever seen him, talked to him like Xie Lian had. He knew he was Xie Lian’s most dearest friend, his ”guard dog” as they called him now, but he was afraid still. He would have any small piece of Xie Lian, rather than risk losing him altogether over something so insignificant as his own silly feelings. He would be perfectly happy to watch others make Xie Lian happy, content to live in his shadow for all time, if that’s how it was meant to be.
And so it was, so it had been for all the years they had known each other. Anything, he thought, so long as he’s happy.
-
”San Lang!”
Hua Cheng tore his glare from Jun Wu, his eyes crinkling in a small smile as soon as he saw Xie Lian all but running towards him, long brown hair flowing behind him, his neat clothes still wrinkled from Jun Wu’s touch.
”Gege,” he replied, neck straining to look up at Xie Lian as he stood before him, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
”San Lang, Jun Wu said he’s throwing a party this evening!”
Hua Cheng’s mood soured instantly as that cursed name fell from his beloved’s lips, but he refused to let it show, his fond smile never faltering.
”Oh?”
”And I promised my dearest that he could of course bring his little guard dog with him,” Jun Wu said as he reached the two of them, his arm instantly wrapping around Xie Lian’s shoulders, pulling him close to his side. Hua Cheng resisted the urge to gag.
”Jun Wu, I asked you not to call him that,” Xie Lian admonished him quietly, elbowing him gently, in jest.
”It’s alright,” Hua Cheng said, standing up so he might look Jun Wu directly into his eyes, ”I’ll be there.”
Jun Wu held his gaze without faltering, his mouth set to a permanent sneer.
”Great! We’ll meet you there, then,” Xie Lian said, still smiling.
His words had Hua Cheng hesitating a little, finally breaking his staring contest with Jun Wu so he might look at Xie Lian, his eyes finding him easily as always. ”You don’t want to walk together?” Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were roommates, having left for college together the same year, right after graduation. It made sense for them to live together, despite everything, and so Hua Cheng had gotten accustomed to walking with Xie Lian everywhere, to parties, to their classes and to cafés and restaurants too.
Now his words had Xie Lian blushing, looking away shyly, his hands fidgeting. ”We, ah, we were thinking that, um—” he started explaining, still not meeting Hua Cheng's eyes, but he had no chance to finish as Jun Wu took the opportunity to finish the sentence for him.
”I’ll be taking Xie Lian home today, your guard dog duties end for a couple of hours, right, Xianle?” He all but smirked as he looked down at his smaller boyfriend, the tone of his words venomous, the little nickname he called Xie Lian by slipping from his sharp tongue too easily, in Hua Cheng's opinion.
Xie Lian was still blushing as both men looked at him, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.
”Right,” Hua Cheng muttered, shoving his hands into his jean pockets, tearing his eyes away from Xie Lian, unable to look at either of them then, lest the urge to punch Jun Wu become too great to resist.
Hua Cheng stayed rooted to the spot even as Xie Lian walked away with his boyfriend, the chilly autumn breeze ruffling his hair, blowing it away from his eyes as he watched their retreating backs.
”You know,” he heard a low voice mutter behind him, ”you could just tell him how you feel, instead of torturing yourself like this, you miserable masochist.”
Hua Cheng turned his head to see He Xuan standing beside him, his black leather jacket lazily slung over his broad shoulder, dark eyes trained on Xie Lian and Jun Wu, still barely visible.
”Piss off,” Hua Cheng hissed.
-
And so, that evening had Hua Cheng sitting on Jun Wu’s awful leather couch that always stank of something he didn’t dare to try and name, eyes tracing Xie Lian’s every movement as he flitted around the cramped apartment like a butterfly flying from flower to flower. Xie Lian was already a little tipsy, his tolerance for alcohol having never gotten any better since their teenage years when they sneaked to Hua Cheng’s dad's liquor cabinet. Jun Wu was nowhere to be seen, but in the manner of a poltergeist haunting a house, Hua Cheng could hear his roaring laughter echo throughout the apartment.
”San Lang!” Xie Lian cheered, flopping next to Hua Cheng on the couch, his cheeks tinted pink from the alcohol, his words already slurring a little. Hua Cheng busied his hands by fixing the lapels of Xie Lian’s shirt, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear, letting his fingers linger on the cut of his jaw.
”Gege, you seem to be having fun,” he said, words warm and his eyes fond as he looked at Xie Lian, who was smiling widely.
”Mm, I always have fun with you,” he replied, leaning towards Hua Cheng, their bodies still always gravitating towards each other, like stars falling into orbit.
Hua Cheng let his eyes close briefly, treasuring those words and tucking them close to his heart where he kept all of his little pieces of Xie Lian, sustaining him like a second organ, an integral part of himself he would die without.
”Here,” Hua Cheng whispered, voice barely audible, offering Xie Lian his glass of water, ”drink this.”
Xie Lian took it without question, drinking it in one go, sighing as he finished and Hua Cheng took the glass from his unsteady fingers, setting it on the low table before them.
”You’re always so good to me, always taking care of me,” Xie Lian sighed, letting his head fall onto Hua Cheng’s shoulder, nuzzling close to his neck, eyes falling shut as if there was nowhere he’d rather be. Hua Cheng allowed himself a private smile, nosing Xie Lian’s hair a little, smelling his strawberry shampoo, pressing as close to him as he dared while still very much in enemy territory.
The music was blaring loudly around them, some awful party mix that had too much bass and barely anything else, the beat hammering in Hua Cheng’s skull, but he barely had ears for anything else besides Xie Lian’s soft breathing where he was still nestled beside him, feet tucked under him like a cat taking a nap in the afternoon sun. Hua Cheng ran his fingers through his hair, allowing himself this one tiny moment between him and his beloved. Briefly he met He Xuan’s disapproving gaze from where he was standing across the room, shaking his head at him but Hua Cheng was an expert in many things, one of which was ignoring He Xuan and all that he did.
The peace didn’t last long, soon Xie Lian stirred as there was a loud commotion in one of the bedrooms, Hua Cheng wasn’t over enough to guess if it was Jun Wu’s or his roommate’s, but his question was answered soon enough as Pei Ming stumbled out of said room, his pants hanging loosely around his waist, belt unbuckled, chasing some unfortunate girl with her shirt clenched in her fists against her chest, trying in vain to cover herself as she rushed through the living room and out of the apartment, followed by jeers and whistles from the people littered around the small space.
”If you’re gonna fuck someone at my party, at least do so in your own room,” Jun Wu yelled after him, Pei Ming turning around with a lecherous smirk plastered on his face.
”Hey, I’ve caught you sneaking more than your fair share of twinks in and out of the apartment, the least you could do was let me do my thing in peace,” Pei Ming hollered, not entirely noticing how his words carried through the apartment, causing some people to start turning uncertain glances towards the barely conscious Xie Lian, who stood up silently.
”C’mon man, bed is a bed, and I know for a fact that you’ve done your precious little—”
Pei Ming never did get to finish his sentence as Hua Cheng was up and walking towards him in quick strides, punching him square in the jaw before he had so much as a chance to register what was happening. People started cheering around them, screaming for a fight, some murmuring and looking from Hua Cheng to Pei Ming to Jun Wu to Xie Lian, who was still standing by the couch, unsteady on his feet as he looked at his boyfriend of more than 3 years with pleading eyes.
Jun Wu was standing still, no longer cursing out Pei Ming, who had at least blessedly fallen silent, the former’s eyes now cold and calculating, looking from Hua Cheng’s flaming, near feral eyes to Xie Lian’s sadder ones, trying to decide if he could get to his boyfriend without Hua Cheng slicing his throat open with a knife he undoubtedly had hidden somewhere on his person.
”Jun Wu? What is he talking about?” Xie Lian questioned with a small voice, the music now turned down low as more people were starting to notice the situation, eager for the drama that was about to follow.
”Xianle—”
”Don’t fucking call him that, you piece of shit,” Hua Cheng hissed, interrupting Jun Wu and his pathethic attempt at an apology. He Xuan tried to catch Hua Cheng’s gaze, to plead with him to act sensibly for once in his life, but the latter had already settled himself in between Jun Wu and Xie Lian, every bit the guard dog everyone had dubbed him as.
”San Lang, please,” Xie Lian pleaded, his hands clutching at Hua Cheng’s arm, pulling him towards himself, and who was Hua Cheng to do anything but follow, his feral gaze softening as soon as it landed on his beloved. ”Let me handle this, please.”
”I’m not leaving you here with that scumbag,” Hua Cheng all but growled, eyes possessive, his hands hurting from how much he wanted to reach out and cup Xie Lian’s jaw, his waist, to hold him close.
”Alright, party’s over, everyone out,” Jun Wu announced, and people started filing out, followed by murmurs and whispers, the gossip of the campus’ dream couple’s fights too good to pass over. Hua Cheng paid none of them any mind, his attention solely on Xie Lian, who was still pleading with him, asking Hua Cheng to go against everything he was to leave Xie Lian alone to deal with his and Jun Wu’s relationship.
”Xie Lian, honey, let me explain, it’s not at all how it sounds,” Jun Wu began, crossing the now empty living room with his arms outstretched. Pei Ming scoffed, shaking his head as he walked to his own room, leaving the three of them alone.
”San Lang.” Xie Lian pleaded once more, his eyes no longer hazy, his head having been cleared and his voice was strong and commanding.
”Gege—”
”It’s okay, I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
Hua Cheng sighed, at his core helpless to go against Xie Lian’s wishes. He turned away, shooting Jun Wu one last scalding glare, teeth bared before grabbing his coat from where he had slung it over the couch, slowly making his way to the door.
”I’ll wait for you at home, gege,” he said, shoulders hunched in defeat as he waited for Xie Lian to nod and smile before stepping into the hallway. As soon as the door closed behind him he could hear Jun Wu’s voice booming, no doubt coming up with yet another lie to soothe Xie Lian with. Hua Cheng felt as though he was on fire from within, anger and rage coursing through his veins, lighting up his very core, his entire body telling him to go back, back to Xie Lian, to protect him, to shield him from all harm, like he had promised himself he would do, he wouldn’t let anything happen to him, yet he had failed again and again, Xie Lian was hurt again and if only—
Hua Cheng was so consumed by his raging thoughts he almost collided with He Xuan, who stood outside the apartment waiting for him.
”What are you still doing here?” Hua Cheng hissed, anger still evident in his voice.
”Waiting for your dumbass, someone needs to make sure you don’t commit a felony on your way home,” He Xuan said, arms crossed across his chest, voice low and commanding.
Hua Cheng was too consumed by his own thoughts to even properly react to his words, and so he silently let He Xuan follow him to his apartment, neither saying a word the entire way there.
-
Hua Cheng spent the entire rest of the night pacing around the apartment he and Xie Lian shared, anxiously checking his phone, texting Xie Lian and getting up to pace around again. The silence was deafening, only his own steps echoing through the small space and the faint sounds of the newscast on the neighbors TV reporting a small apartment fire a couple cities over. Hours passed just like that, Hua Cheng worrying his cheek so much it filled his mouth with the coppery taste of his own blood, his lips red and swollen from how much he had bitten them, his fingers digging into his palms to stop himself from pulling his hair out in his panic. He should never have left Xie Lian there, no matter how much he was pleading, god knows what that monster was doing to him right this second, maybe he should try calling him again, maybe he should—
Suddenly the familiar sounds of a key turning in a lock and of the door opening sounded and Hua Cheng was up on his feet immediately, rushing to the door like a puppy awaiting its owner to come home. As soon as he laid eyes on Xie Lian, unharmed only with slightly red eyes, a weight was lifted from his shoulders, his feelings still sitting like a stone in his stomach, choking him as he tried to speak.
”Hey,” Xie Lian muttered, slipping through the door, toeing off his shoes and leaving them neatly on the doormat as always.
He needn’t say another word until Hua Cheng was wrapping his arms around him, pulling his beloved into a tight embrace, both of them relaxing into the touch immediately, shoulders sagging.
”It’s okay, San Lang, everything is okay,” Xie Lian muttered from where his face was buried against Hua Cheng’s chest.
”Is it over, did you finally leave his sorry ass?” Hua Cheng asked, his earlier anxiety turning into relief.
”Oh, no, we’re fine, it was just a misunderstanding, that’s all.”
It took a few moments for the words to register in Hua Cheng’s brain. As they did, he pulled back slightly, so he might look into Xie Lian’s eyes.
”What do you mean, a misunderstanding?”
Xie Lian sniffled slightly, wiping at his nose. ”I mean, Jun Wu explained everything and it isn’t at all like it seemed from Pei Ming’s words—” he began, but against all his instincts, Hua Cheng cut him off.
”Don’t tell me you believed that bastard? He was all but caught red handed, and you know I never liked him in the first place you deserve so much better than that asshole—”
”San Lang!” Xie Lian admonished him, pulling away from his embrace. ”Don’t speak of him like that, you know how it hurts me to hear you so angry, San Lang. You really have no reason to hate Jun Wu this much, he’s been nothing but kind to me all this time.”
”Just how many chances are you going to give him?”
Xie Lian hesitated. ”I don’t know what you mean.”
”Yes, you do. He stood you up for your highschool dance, he missed your graduation because he was too busy partying, he did god knows what when he left alone for college, and now this? He cheated on you with multiple people!”
Xie Lian turned away from him fully, stepping out of the circle of Hua Cheng’s arms. ”It wasn’t like that, he apologised and explained everything.”
”Did he?” Hua Cheng asked, in disbelief, his tone almost mocking, if not for the fact that he could be nothing but sincere to Xie Lian.
”Yes, he did and he promised to change so there’s no reason for you to act this way, San Lang.”
Hua Cheng was quiet for a long moment, the neighbors TV the only thing that could be heard, apparently there had been a bus accident on the highway, and three people died. Hua Cheng was still looking at Xie Lian, always looking at him, his breathing heavy as he tried to understand the situation. He had been hopeful that at least this would make Xie Lian understand how awful Jun Wu was, how he didn’t deserve someone as kind and caring and perfect as Xie Lian, could never even hope to measure up to all that Xie Lian was and yet. And yet, here Xie Lian was, in his endless patience giving Jun Wu yet another chance to change, to redeem himself. Truly Hua Cheng was at war with himself, wanting to give Xie Lian everything he wanted, wanting to make sure he was happy, above all else.
”What about you, then?” Yin Yu had asked him once, ”what about your happiness?”
Hua Cheng had smiled, then, watching as Jun Wu whispered more honeyd words into Xie Lian’s ears, causing the younger man to stifle his giggles with his hand, while lightly slapping Jun Wu with the other on his chest, as if in admonishment.
”If he’s happy, then I’m happy,” he had said then, a mantra he found himself repeating often as he watched the man he loved better than anything else, be in love with someone else.
Hua Cheng sighed. ”Are you happy, gege?”
”Hm?” Xie Lian turned to face him again, ”what kind of question is that?”
Hua Cheng stepped closer to him, closing some of the gaping chasm that suddenly stood between them.
”I asked, if you’re happy,” he repeated, louder this time, ”you know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what, I’ll always support you, I’ll always be your friend, your San Lang.
”But I need to know you’re happy, gege, because if you’re not, then I can’t stand by and watch you be with a man who doesn’t treat you well, who doesn’t cherish every moment he has with you, who doesn’t wake up smiling, knowing he has you, that you chose him. A man who isn’t there to hug you everyday you come home and stay there every morning, cradling you until you wake, who doesn’t take care of you like you deserve.
”I’ll follow you anywhere you ask me to, do anything you need me to, but I just need to know if this is enough for you, if you’re truly happy with him.”
Xie Lian was looking at him then, his eyes wide, lips gaping as he tried to process all that Hua Cheng had said, his mind running wild with the implications of his words.
”San Lang—”
”I would do anything you want me to. Anything at all, I’ll do for you, anything you want, I will do and everything I don’t know how to do, I will learn to do, but gege, please,” Hua Cheng continued, his voice breaking, ”please don’t ask me to stand by while you’re unhappy, with someone undeserving by your side”. Like a dog with a bird at your door, Hua Cheng thought of his words, his plea, that’s what He Xuan sometimes called me, he remembered, waiting for the next time you need me.
”I wish you wouldn’t say that,” Xie Lian mumbled, his eyes wet with unshed tears.
”Say what?”, Hua Cheng asked, his voice breaking in his desperation.
”Your words, they sound like—”, a confession, but Xie Lian lacked the courage to say so out loud.
”My words, as my everything else, are what you want them to be, gege, I’ll be anything for you.” I love you, he thought, without end.
”I—”, Xie Lian started, but his words failed him, so many different emotions running through him, ripping apart his lungs, aching in his bones was something he was only then beginning to realize had perhaps always been there, at the back of his mind, the tip of his tongue through every decision he had made, every chance he had missed. Like an ache of a warmth of someone holding him as they danced through his kitchen, giggling their way through dozens of old songs from god knows how long ago, perhaps a dream he had had of someone laying with him on his bed, in the tall grass outside his old house, in the balcony of his childhood room, learning the constellations and whispering secrets in the gleeful way of youth inexperienced in the hardships of the world.
Looking up at the sky had always hurt Xie Lian, in the way beautiful things always made him a little sad and how seeing San Lang back then, as a mere child, crying alone on the ground had instilled something in him, setting something unstoppable in motion as he offered him his hand and asked him to be his friend. I’ll always be your friend, your San Lang, yes that was true, wasn’t it? San Lang had always been there, through every single high and low of Xie Lian’s life, standing unwavering by his side, like a guard dog as everyone always said but that wasn’t it, was it? There was something there, in the set of San Lang’s jaw, buried deep in his eyes, something he always held in the palm of his hand when he offered it to Xie Lian, something just out of his reach, something unknowable, something unbearable.
How long, he wondered then, how long could they play this way? Xie Lian wanted, he wanted and wanted and wanted, like an itch in his back just beyond his reach, like an ache in his joint that never went away. There had always been something, right there, something Xie Lian was tired of not having. I’m tired of not loving you, he thought, yet never had they spoken of it, everything was hidden in glances, half-spoken phrases, somehow Xie Lian had accepted that he’d die in his best friend's arms.
”San Lang,” he breathed then, the name slipping from his lips like a prayer, ”I think I might love you,” he began, unheeding of the broken gasp from Hua Cheng that was so impossibly loud in the quiet of their shared apartment, ”and I think you might love me too”. It was phrased like a question, but there was no true question there, as if anyone could ever question how Hua Cheng felt about Xie Lian.
”Gege—” Hua Cheng began, his cheeks wet with silent tears, as he reached for Xie Lian once more, in the darkness of the apartment, the lights still turned off in their carelessness, the hopeful and heavy night air all that separated them now and in an instant they fell into each other’s arms, for the first time, for the thousandth time. And they held each other exactly how they always had, as if nothing ever happened, as if nothing ever came between them.
”San Lang,” Xie Lian whispered against his chest, feeling warm all over like he hadn’t in so long, ”why did you never tell me?”
Hua Cheng was silent for a moment more, unsure still, if he wanted to answer such a question. Yet after a while, he said, ”I was always going to be content with just being your best friend, I would’ve been content with less than that.”
Xie Lian pulled back from his embrace so he could look into Hua Cheng’s eyes, the other still hidden under the medical patch. ”You were always more to me than you could ever understand, I love you so immensely it scared me.”
”Gege, could this San Lang ask for a kiss from you?” Hua Cheng all but begged, his words hanging in the air between them, heavy and charged.
Xie Lian looked at him for a long moment, before speaking. ”I should— I should probably talk to Jun Wu first,” he muttered, lowering his gaze to stop himself from leaning forward and closing the unbelievably small gap between them, that at the same time felt as uncrossable as several oceans.
”Of course, gege is most honorable, even to scum such as him.”
”San Lang, be nice,” Xie Lian said, but his words lacked any true power, he was amused by Hua Cheng’s antics more than anything. He buried his face in his hands, hiding his embarrassment as he turned to face away from Hua Cheng. ”I can’t believe I dated him all this time, how stupid do you have to be?” He muttered in his hands, his words hidden in his palms.
”Gege, don’t blame yourself, that bastard had fooled many people into his trap,” Hua Cheng said, holding his Xie Lian with his back flush against Hua Cheng’s chest, finally secure in his arms.
”I’ll talk to him tomorrow, I just want to go to sleep,” Xie Lian said, lowering his hands so he might play with Hua Cheng’s fingers that were wrapped around his stomach.
Hua Cheng merely hummed in response, nuzzling Xie Lian’s neck, completely content.
-
The next day Hua Cheng held Xie Lian as he called Jun Wu to tell him it was over, he sat silently as they talked, only grabbing the phone when Jun Wu started cursing, so he could hang up on him and block his number.
Xie Lian sighed, turning around in his embrace so he was face to face with Hua Cheng, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, as if invisible shackles had been cut from his legs and his neck, finally breathing freely.
Again and again, it seemed, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, their names engraved in each other’s palms, everything they did was always so irreparably stitched with their color, over and over again.
Xie Lian smiled, gazing into the eye of his San Lang, tracing the line of his cheekbone with his thumb, and they understood each other perfectly in this, as in everything, leaning forward at the same time as if pulled by some invisible string, and they kissed and kissed and kissed, never having truly been apart yet still they were ravenous for each other, to know how the other felt pressed against them closer than ever before, to know how they tasted, how the movement of their lips ignited sparks into roaring fires. Their lips slotted together as if made for one another and they kissed as if intent on healing all the bruises of the other, as if they would never need to part for air, as if nothing else mattered.