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Meg dropped the flaming match into the candle. The summoning spell completed, a trench coated angel stepped out of the shadows. Meg grinned.
"Hi Castiel. Are you busy right now?"
The angel came to stand in front of her. "Meg, hello. No, I am not."
"Great. We're going on a date."
Meg took his hand, and they teleported together, Meg guiding him. They appeared on the bank of a small, rushing brook.
"What's a date?" asked Castiel, as Meg dropped his hand, and examined their surroundings for possible threats, before leading him over to a blanket spread over the grass.
"A date - oh, I forgot, you don't know. Well, Cas, you are about to experience a date. Sit down."
Obediently, the angel sat down and Meg dropped onto the blanket next to him. They watched the water for a little while. It was a picturesque scene, late afternoon and the sunlight glinted off the water.
"How did you know I like to do this?" Cas asked after some time. Meg shrugged. "I know you," she said. Her hands dug for smooth stones in the grass and she tossed them, skipping them two or three times. "I can show you how," she told Cas.
It turned out, unsurprisingly, that Castiel was terrible at skipping stones. He gave up soon, and just leaned back and watched Meg do it expertly. She cheered when she managed more than five. After a while, she said, "I would love some blackberries right now. Clarence, have you ever eaten blackberries?" She tilted her head at him.
"No," he admitted.
"C'mon, then," she said, and stood up. Her angel followed her down a path on the right through some trees and across a bridge over the stream. On the other side was a maze of brambles.
"Don't pick the green or white ones, and watch out for thorns," Meg instructed Cas, producing a small basket. Castiel soon got the hang of pulling them off the bramble neatly without smearing the juice everywhere. It took longer than it should have to fill the basket, because Meg kept eating them.
Finally, they had a basket full, and Meg was content with it. They crossed back to the blanket on the other side, and sat down again. Meg cracked open a beer. Cas declined the drink, but tried the blackberries.
"Can you taste them?" Meg asked. "I always wondered about you angels , what's it like for you, eating and stuff." Cas swallowed a blackberry.
"It's kind of weird, actually. I can taste the molecules." "So, what, like hydrogen?" Meg said, naming the only element she knew. She hadn't finished secondary as a human, in her day, working class girls dropped out at sixteen.
"Yeah, among other things," Cas said. "That must be weird," Meg reflected, taking a long swig of her beer. "You have no idea," he said, and let Meg finish the basket.
They were both lying on their backs a little while later. Meg asked, "So how've you been, Cas? Haven't heard from you in a year. Tried summoning you, but you didn't pick up," she said, sounding a little put out.
"I was in Purgatory, I couldn't escape for a year, I'm afraid."
Just the word Purgatory conjures up the memory of harsh, relentless light, and blood pumping, the smell of sweat, and fierce green eyes shining out from a face covered in grime and dirt.
"So that's where you went. Dean Winchester disappeared off the map too, was he with you?"
"Yes, he went down with me. It was after we killed the leviathan leader - we should have left rather than stay near him. He exploded, and took us with him to Purgatory. Dean and I were separated. He found me eventually, but..." Castiel realized what he'd have to explain to Meg and stopped in the middle of a sentence.
Meg was the most understanding demon he'd ever met, so instead of pressing it, she asked, "So what's it like down there? I've heard rumours, but no one really knows what it's all about."
Cas looked up at the sky. "It's a constant fight for survival. There's nothing else except the battle. Every type of creature ever killed wakes up at the entrance of Purgatory, like we did, with Roman. He quickly turned tail once we awoke, I guess one round was enough for him," Cas said, with a touch of pride.
"You see any demons down there? Is that where my kind goes when we die?" asked Meg, curious.
"I'm not sure where demons, or angels go when they die. There's a part of Heaven no one can enter - not Joshua or even the archangels. We suspected it was the original Garden of Eden. There must be a reason it's cordoned off. So perhaps that's where we will go, somewhere no one can bring us back." Meg reflected on this.
"It might be nice," she said at last, "to go to Heaven. I never thought I would. I try not to think about dying. For us, the worst thing is being dragged back to Hell. It's why we hate hunters. I could still kill the Winchesters for that." Seeing Castiel's expression, she adds, "But I won't. It's in the past."
"I was in Hell, once, to rescue Dean," Castiel said. "It was a terrible place. I can see why you would not want to return. But out here, you have to possess humans. Do you not find that difficult? I find it difficult."
"You're an angel," Meg said. "It's always more complicated for you. Gray area, blurred moral lines and all that. They have to volunteer for it. We just take whoever's handy. Although there is something to be said for Ruby's idea of taking a dead meatsuit. It's not fun to feel them struggle inside you, and sometimes they win." Meg shuddered unconsciously, though neither of their kind felt the cold. "That's the worst nightmare of any demon, the biggest shame. Their human meatsuit overpowering them. Being trapped in a body not even yours."
"Lucifer hated Sam Winchester for that," Castiel offered. "I felt it - when I took his burden. It must have been a great humiliation for him, to have his chosen vessel overpower him." Castiel wondered, for a moment, if he had offended her. She was a daughter of Lucifer after all. But she nodded. "He'll lick his wounds in the Cage for a few hundred millennia. It doesn't matter. I have moved on to bigger things," Meg declared, answering his unasked question.
They lie on their back some more, without talking. It's very restful, Cas finds, the closest he's ever come to sleeping. This is more therapeutic than he had expected, a 'date' had sounded like a dangerous mission or some other such thing. And this was the first time in he couldn't remember how long that he wasn't brooding over his unforgivable crimes.
"Meg," he said suddenly. "Yes?" He realized he hadn't formulated a question. "I have done bad things," he said, in lieu of a proper conversation starter.
"So have I, Castiel," she said.
"But I had a... /responsibility/. To my brothers and sisters in Heaven. And I slaughtered them. I can never be forgiven. That was why I stayed in Purgatory, forced Dean Winchester to leave me behind. I hadn't suffered enough to be punished. I was hoping - I was hoping..."
"I don't know what to tell you, Cas," Meg said, stretching briefly. "Because I don't feel guilt. It's just not in our nature. But I keep moving forward. You can't put yourself through more pain to wash out what you did. Plus that's just damn stupid," Meg snorted. "How did you get out in the end, if Winchester left you behind?"
"Naomi," he said. "She has taken charge in Heaven, and for some reason, she decided to have me brought out, I don't understand why, as more angels died in the process," he said regretfully.
"Why, Castiel, you're a valuable asset," she said. "Not to mention I, personally am grateful. Tell her thanks from me."
"She can't know about you," Castiel said urgently. "She would - she would command me to kill you. My kin would not like me to grow so close to a demon."
"Oh, am I your dirty little secret?" Meg asked, amusement in her tone. Castiel lowered his eyes. "Naomi would not have me form attachments to anyone, least of all demons or humans. She has already ordered me to pull away from Dean..."
"Dean Winchester, huh. Do you love him?" Meg said quietly. "Yes," Castiel replied. "I have loved more people than most angels ever will, my sister Anna, the Winchesters, you..."
"Do you love me?"
"Yes." They were quiet for a while.
Finally, Meg said, "We've all done bad things, Cas. Awful things, in fact. And you've forgiven people you love for bad things, haven't you? Those people forgive you right back. That's what love is."
"When did you get so wise, Meg?"
"I have my moments."
They sat up, stared at the sun going down for a while. "Hey, Cas," Meg said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah?"
"Remember the first time we met, you know, back when we were enemies and you tossed me on the fire to get out?"
"Yeah..."
"I did scream a lot, but honestly, I was only trying to make you feel bad for doing it. Holy fire doesn't actually hurt, just kind of tickles."
Cas placed his hand over Meg's. "That makes me feel better."
"Forgive and forget, Cas. It's a start."
Meg leaned on her angel's shoulder as the sun disappeared below the horizon.