Chapter Text
“This isn’t necessary I’m fine. You have more important things to do I’m sure.” The paramedics smiled as they wheeled in the gurney.
“Sir, you were vomiting blood. You need to let these doctors take a look at you. 57 year old male vomiting blood as you can see he is reactive and relatively pain free.” The paramedic reported.
“Sir, I’m Dr. Altman I’ll be looking after you today.”
“As wonderful as it is to meet a doctor as beautiful as you Dr Altman, I really don’t need to be here.”
“Vomiting blood is pretty serious. We just need to run a few tests to find out why.” Teddy didn’t mind being on call in the ER when the patients were nice like this.
“If that’s what you think is best, I’ll accept that” he smiled.
“Is there anyone you’d like us to call?” Teddy asked making notes down on his chart.
The man shook his head. “All good doctor, no need to call anyone.”
“You should have someone with you. These tests can be invasive.”
“I can do invasive. I’m fine, trust me.”
“Okay. Let’s get started.” Teddy said waving over her interns to start the full work up. “Let’s start with your name.”
“Bishop. Lane Bishop.”
Teddy looked up. She knew that name. She hated that she knew that name.
“Okay, we’ll get you checked in.” Watching the gurney roll away Teddy pulled out her phone. “Carina, I need you in the ER right now.”
“On my way.” She told her, hoping it wasn’t anything to do with her wife or one of her friends.
Teddy watched from a distance while Lane flirted, joked, and charmed the interns. Carina hadn’t told her much about what Maya had been through but what she didn’t know was bad. And she hated that man. She hated her patient.
------
“Teddy? Hey. I’m here. What’s going on?” Carina looked around, trying to figure out why she had been called so urgently.
“Lane Bishop is here. Right over there.” Teddy said nodding over Carina’s shoulder into the room where Lane was.
“Oh god. That’s not good at all. Does Maya know? What’s he in for?”
“He said he didn’t have anyone he wanted us to call so I can’t tell her. He came in vomiting blood. We’re running tests.” Teddy explained.
“I really hope she doesn’t have to know. She’s already pretty fragile at the moment and I’m not sure this is going to help at all.”
“How is she? After the investigation?” Teddy asked changing gears when she thought about what Carina and Maya had been through recently.
“She’s getting there. Although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried...”
“Is she…does she still have a job?”
“Mhm. She’s not captain for now but I have a feeling it won’t take her long to get back to it.”
“Ouch. Yeah I can see how she might not be taking that well. Let’s hope we don’t have to tell her he’s here. What do we do if he asks for her?” Teddy asked.
“We call her.” Despite Carina’s words, it was evident how unhappy she was about the situation.
“Okay. Maybe until then you can try and keep her out of here.” Teddy suggested.
“I’m gonna call Andy and make sure Maya stays off aid car” Carina decided.
Andy looked down at her phone and saw it was Carina.
------
“Hey, what’s up?” Andy asked looking through her office window and saw Maya walking in with Travis.
“Can you keep Maya off aid car today?” Carina was relieved that Andy had picked up.
“Why?” Andy asked Carina was good at staying out of Maya’s assignments even if having Maya in harm’s way was difficult.
“Her dad is at the hospital and I’m really not sure it would be good for her to see him.”
“Shit. She’s assigned aid car but I’ll swap her out. Uh…hold on.” Andy looked up as Maya walked into the office holding her phone.
“My dads at the hospital.” Maya said looking up.
“He..what?” Andy looked over at Maya.
“Yeah I’m his emergency contact. Someone from the hospital just called me.” Maya felt numb. What was she supposed to do?
“Did you hear that? I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you later.”
“Sorry. I didn’t realize you were on the phone. I should go right?” Maya asked her voice monotone.
“Come sit..” Andy stood and encouraged Maya into her office, closing the door. “What do you want to do?”
“He’s sick. At least that’s what the nurse said. That they are running tests.” Maya said sitting down. She wasn’t going to disobey an order from her Captain.
“This must be a lot to take in. Want me to take you to the hospital?”
“No, no I can handle it. I hate even asking you if I can take time off. But he’s…I should be there.”
“You can have as much time off you as you need. But I’m taking you, and that’s not up for discussion.”
“Yes ma’am.” Maya said with a grin. Bossy Andy was kind of amusing. Like a clawless kitten.
“Do you want to call Carina and let her know?”
“No. I’m guessing she’s the one you were on the phone with. She knows I’m coming.” Maya said, the only emotion coming back into her voice was anger.
“It might still be nice to speak to her..” Andy suggested quietly, knowing that Carina was able to calm her down easily.
“No. I don’t want to talk to her right now.” Maya said heading upstairs to change.
“Okay.” Andy wondered why Maya didn’t want to talk to her wife.
------
Maya was quiet the drive to the hospital. She would rather have walked. She was about to go talk to her dad. She hadn’t talked to him since telling him she was getting married.
“How can I help?” Andy asked into the silence. “What do you need?”
“I don’t need help. I can handle my father. But if you really want to help me keep my wife away from me.” Maya snapped.
Woah..hey. What’s going on with you and Carina?”
“She called you to tell you to keep me off of aid car didn’t she?”
“And you’re pissed at her for that?”
“Just forget it.”
“She has us, she’ll be okay.”
———
Maya was sat in the room her dad has been him, waiting for him to get his tests done. She was dreading seeing him and had to constantly fight the urge to run.
“Hey kiddo.” Lane saw his daughter as soon as he was wheeled back into the room. She looked different, her hair shorter and wavy. Her physique was less than he would have hoped.
“Dad.” she nodded meekly, not getting up from where she was sat. This felt so awkward and unnatural to her, but what choice did she have?
“That’s not how I raised you. Sitting down when addressing me.” Lane glanced at the intern making sure he checked himself until they were alone.
“I’m an adult now. I get to make my own decisions.”
“And that’s turned out real well for you. Demoted after the shortest tenure of a fire captain in the history of the fire department.”
“I saved a child’s life. It was worth it” she snapped. “Wait. How do you even know about that?”
“I have my connections. Care to explain to me how you threw away everything I taught you for some kid? Eyes forward. You threw away your career for some kid?”
“I don’t have to explain anything to you..” Maya was surprising herself with her ability to stand up to him. Maybe it was because he was incapacitated she wondered.
“I made you who you are! You have lost focus and clearly are suffering for it.” Lane’s eyes hardened. How dare she talk back to him.
“I am focused on what’s important to me..” she could feel her heart racing, her anxiety increasing.
“And what’s that? Some woman? Give me a break. You’re weak. I thought you were better than that.”
“I’m anything but weak, no thanks to you.”
“What did you say to me?” Lane’s voice dropped low, menacing. How dare she think she could speak to him like this.
“I am not weak.” She spoke a little louder, looking directly at him.
“No? Look at you. You can’t even look at me. Hiding in the shadows like a coward. You’re weak and pathetic. Not the kid I raised.”
“If anyone is weak and pathetic, it’s you Lane.”
“First name basis huh? Does that make you feel tough? Let me break it down for you Maya you are a disappointment. Even looking at you makes me sick. Bet you couldn’t run a mile right now.” Lane knew how to hit Maya where it hurt.
“Is everything okay in here?” Teddy appeared at the door with Amelia beside her, both looking concerned.
“We’re fine. Private family discussion. Please give us some privacy.” Lane said with a charming smile.
“We’re fine.” Maya echoed. She didn’t need witnesses for this. She was already humiliated enough.
Teddy and Amelia looked briefly at each other, neither buying that things were fine between the pair.
“I actually have a couple more things I need to go through with you Mr Bishop, if you wouldn’t mind stepping out ma’am” she didn’t want Lane to know how well she knew Maya.
“I will show you where you can wait.” Amelia gestured to the door.
“She doesn’t go anywhere!” Lane said the second he saw Maya stand. Maya froze looking down at the floor.
“I need some privacy to talk to you.” Teddy insisted. “It won’t take long. Please?” She guided Maya out of the door. “Dr Shepherd will show you where to wait ma’am.”
Maya could feel his eyes on her. Knew what he wanted to say to stop her. Part of her wanted to fight against Amelia to stay. It would only be worse for her later if she left.
“I should stay.” Maya said firmly.
“Once I’ve finished discussing some things with your father, you’ll be able to come back but for now I really must insist you leave.” She closed the door, Maya standing outside of it.
“Hey, come on.” Amelia took her hand.
“Where are we going?” Maya asked following but pulling her hand away from Amelia’s.
“To my office.”
“Why?”
“Because we both know you need 5 minutes to collect your thoughts.”
“I don’t. I’m fine. And I swear to God if Carina is in there…” Maya trailed off when they got to the office door.
“She’s not.” Amelia promised, opening the door to her empty office.
Maya looked around as if she expected Carina to be hiding somewhere in there. Finally convinced that they were alone she leaned against the wall.
“You’re not fine.” Amelia didn’t shy away from the truth.
“I’m fine. What you saw, child’s play.” Maya said with a shrug.
“Is he always like that?”
“That? That was him at breakfast. And on his best behavior because he was in public.” Maya sighed.
“I don’t think you should be alone in there with him.”
“Is that doctors’ orders?”
“Would you like it to be?”
“You don’t have any authority over me. Amelia I like you. But you have no idea what you’re talking about.” Maya snapped. She was scared. And a scared Maya was a mean Maya.
“Im not trying to have authority over you, I’m really not. I just want to make sure you’re safe. Physically and emotionally.”
“I’m fine. Don’t you have actual patients to save?”
“I’m off the clock.” Amelia smirked, folding her arms over her chest.
“Fuck. I am not weak or fragile or need any of this! I can handle it! I have been doing it all my life. You and Carina, and Andy and all of you just need to let me do that. Let me handle this.” Maya yelled.
“You can handle it in whatever way you want to, but you’re my best friend’s wife and my friend too.”
“And that means what? You want to make it better? Make me less broken? Is that what you’re trying to do Amelia?”
“I don’t think you’re broken. And for the record, nobody thinks you’re weak either, far from it. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”
“How am I stronger? I can’t even be in the same room with him without reverting back to being a little girl again so desperate for him to be kind to me that I barely breathe.”
“You are strong. What you’ve come through, that’s not easy. Maya...there’s a lot you don’t know about me. A lot Carina doesn’t even know. But I know what it’s like to have been to hell and back. More than once. And yes it sucks, but it doesn’t mean you’re broken.”
“Is that what we’re doing? Comparing scars?” Maya asked.
“No, not at all. What I’m trying to say is, I get it. And we both know that emotional scars cut the deepest, take the longest to heal.”
“I need to be fine right now. It might not be healthy, it’s definitely not what Carina wants. But I need to not feel right now. At least until this whole nightmare is over. Then I’ll deal with the emotional shit storm that will come.” Maya felt like she was negotiating. Waiting for permission to to freeze out the world for a while. A skill she was too good at.
“You don’t have to do this. You can walk away and not look back.”
“Could you? If it was your dad?”
“If he treated me like that? More than likely.” She knew it wasn’t easy.
“Guess you’re stronger than me.”
“Seriously. What’s stopping you?”
“My mom. She’s out of town right now but when she comes back…I can handle it. She can’t.”
“You’re protecting her, I get that. But if you’re protecting her. Who’s protecting you?”
“I can handle it.” Maya insisted. “I don’t need protecting.”
“I’ve no doubt you can, but should you have to?”
“Yes. Right now I do. If I want to survive this I need to.” Maya’s eyes were pleading with Amelia not to fight her on this anymore.
“Okay, fair enough. But sit down for 5 minutes, take a breather.”
“Is 5 minutes really going to make a difference?” Maya asked sitting down. It was the least she could do.
“Yes it is. Want me to see if Andy can come sit with you for a bit? I know she’s your person. We’re very big on that here.”
“No. Andy is running interference with my wife.” Maya couldn’t even say Carina’s name.
“Carina was called into a surgery if that changes your mind at all.”
“Probably for the better. I’m uh…freezing her out. Jack calls it the ‘Maya Freeze Out’. I don’t mean to. I wish I didn’t. But I can’t stop it.”
Amelia pulled out her phone and text Andy, letting her know where they were. “It wont last forever.” She promised her.
------
It didn’t take long for Andy to arrive at Amelia’s office, knocking lightly on the door.
“Reinforcements?” Maya asked without needing to look. “Wanna call Teddy in to? Maybe Miranda? Who else can we get? I’m sure Jack would love to come and tell me off.”
“I’m gonna leave you two alone.” Amelia could see Maya needed some space.
“Probably safest.” Maya agreed. She felt volatile and she didn’t want to ruin her relationship with one of Carina’s best friends.
“Hey.” Andy sat down opposite her, eyeing her best friend to try and work out how she was feeling. “Have you seen your dad?”
“Oh yeah. It was as delightful as always.”
“What do you need? Wanna talk about it? Need to rant?”
“Amelia was on the receiving end of my first rant. I don’t know if I have the energy to rant anymore. I need to handle this my way Andy. I know you guys don’t get it and you’re all about embracing the feelings but…I need you to let me handle this the only way I know how.” Maya begged.
“We can do that. But if your way of handling it is subjecting yourself to your father’s abuse, i’m not sure that’s healthy.”
“It’s not…it’s easier. I know you don’t get it. But do you remember when we were helping on the stakeout in the aid car and I went running in my head?”
Yeah, I remember that.” She nodded.
“I’m not there when he does it anymore. I retreat. It’s like I’m somewhere else.” Maya just hadn’t expected it before. Even though she should have, she wasn’t prepared to dissociate like that. Now she was.
“So it hurts less?”
“Yeah. I go numb to the world for a while. It’s nice.”
“So I don’t need to worry that he’s tearing you apart and making you feel like crap?”
“No.” It wasn’t entirely true. She heard the words. But it was like they were dulled somehow. One day maybe Diane could give her a name for what she was doing.
“Okay..okay.” Andy really was trying to understand.
“I know it doesn’t make sense.”
“It doesn’t have to. I love you and as long as it works for you, that’s okay.”
“Diane says that it’s my way of postponing how I feel. Putting them in a box in my mind. That’s a Pandora’s box I’m not looking forward to opening.” Maya have a humorless laugh.
“You know we’ll all be here with you though right?”
“I know. I just need you to let me take it. Let me handle it so that when my mom comes back he doesn’t do it to her. He’s like a backdraft. It’ll build and build if we don’t vent it. I’m the vent.”
“I get it.” talking to Andy in ‘Fire’ language made perfect sense to her.
“I need you to make them understand. They’re doctors. They want to stop it. I need you to stop them from interfering.”
“I’ll try my best, I promise”. She needed to do this for Maya.
“Thanks. I should get back.” Maya said standing up. She felt like she was about to go into a battle or something. That’s what she was prepping Andy to witness. Maybe he wouldn’t act out this way if there were witnesses. She lived in hope.