Chapter Text
“Hold on,” Trixie said, reaching out to straighten one of the fins on the rocket. It wouldn’t fly straight if it wasn’t aligned properly, and she really didn’t want it doing a quick arc right into the ground.
“Hey Trix,” called one of the counselors from a few tables over. “Your Dad’s here! You forgot something.”
Trixie just about tore the fin right off as her heart and stomach clenched. Hands shaking, she looked over and saw Lucifer standing there, immaculate as ever in one of his three-piece suits. He waved a little awkwardly, frowning at the counselor.
Trixie took a deep breath. Not Dad. Of course it wasn’t Dad. Just Lucifer. But what was Lucifer doing here? Bringing her something she forgot, she thought, giving herself a shake. Right. Mom must have sent him.
“I’m sorry, child,” he said softly as she reached him. “That message got a little garbled. I’m listed with your mum on the acceptable person list, so the counselor just assumed, I guess….”
“It’s okay, Lucifer,” she said. “I kinda figured that.”
“Not that I … not that I mind being thought of as your father,” he said, words a little hesitant, sad. “But I’m sorry that—“
She interrupted by reaching over to hug him. “It’s okay, Lucifer,” she said again as his arms came around her in their usual delayed fashion. He squeezed her tightly for a long moment, which wasn’t his usual manner, but she appreciated the comfort. He really wasn’t too bad at that when he actually needed to give it.
She enjoyed his warmth and the familiar smell of his cologne for a moment before pulling back, trying to be subtle about wiping the tears gathering in her eyes. “So … um … what’d you bring me? I didn’t forget Maisie’s present, did I?” She could have sworn she’d put it in her bag this morning. She glanced over to where her friend was still working on their rocket. Maisie’s party was a sleepover, so she’d packed her overnight bag, but maybe … “My toothbrush?” she asked.
Lucifer was shaking his head. “Actually, Urchin, that was another part of the message that was incorrectly conveyed. You didn’t forget anything.”
“I didn’t?”
“No, I did.”
She cocked her head at him.
“I told the counselor that I had forgotten to give you something,” he clarified.
She was still puzzled. “What were you supposed to give me?” she asked.
He took a deep breath, let it out in a long sigh. Something about his attitude was beginning to worry her. He looked more serious than usual, but more than that … sad, almost. Could this have something to do with her dad?
“I…,” he began, then hesitated. “Can we go sit down somewhere?” he asked. “Maybe…?” he waved toward a couple chairs off to the side of the tables, a little way away from all the activity.
“Sure.” Maisie and Adrian had the rocket mostly under control, and they wouldn’t launch it without her. And whatever Lucifer had to talk to her about, it seemed important.
When they sat, Lucifer turned towards her, leaning forward and lacing his fingers together in his lap. He frowned. “I don’t want to alarm you unnecessarily, child,” he said, “But I know you were angry with me for leaving last time without saying goodbye.” He grimaced. “You weren’t the only one. But in any case, I wanted to say what I should have said before, when you brought it up, which is that I’m sorry.”
She found herself suddenly blinking back tears, not just because she never thought he would say that, but because she felt like this apology was the prelude to something she was very much afraid she wasn’t going to like.
Lucifer continued, “I felt that I had to leave right away, but I still should have let you know. And I should have told you that I didn’t want to leave you or your mother. In fact, that was the last thing I wanted. Hurting you, hurting her, or any of my friends—my family, because I do think of you as a part of my family—was never what I wanted. I was trying to protect you, but I should have done things differently.”
Trixie reached out and put her hand over his. “I know, Lucifer. You always protect us. And I’ve forgiven you for not telling me.” She swallowed, still afraid there was more to this than an apology. “I’m sorry for kicking you, you know,” she said. “I shouldn’t have done that. I was just mad. But I’m not anymore.”
He gave a brief laugh, turning his hands to take hers. “It’s quite all right, Beatrice,” he said. “You’re not the first to be angry enough with me to resort to violence, and I’m sure you won’t be the last. In fact—“ He broke off, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “Don’t let that worry you.”
“Thanks, Lucifer.” When he didn’t say anything more, she waited, holding tight to his hand.
He looked down at their joined hands, took a deep breath. Before speaking, he freed one of his hands and reached into his jacket to pull out a small, wrapped box and an envelope. He handed her the box.
It was covered in a shimmering black paper, dotted with tiny silver specks that looked like stars, and tied with a silver ribbon. “Thanks,” she said, admiring the package. “Should I open it?”
He smiled, a faint echo of his usual mischievous grin, and squeezed her hand before releasing it. “Of course,” he said.
She pulled the ribbon, carefully undid the paper. Under it was an elegant black velvet box. She pulled it open to reveal a pendant on a delicate silver chain. It looked like the moon, flanked on the side by two silver stars, both of which seemed to twinkle with tiny diamonds in their hearts. She reached out a hesitant hand to hover a finger over it, wanting to touch but almost not daring to. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered.
“It’s made from a piece of a meteorite that originated from Mars,” said Lucifer.
“Ooh,” Trixie breathed. “That’s … amazing.”
“I wanted to give you something as special and unique as you are,” he said. “To show you … to tell you … that you are a bright and beautiful soul, and to remind you that you shouldn’t let go of your dreams, even if they change, because you can do whatever you set your mind and heart to do.”
She pushed herself up from her chair to throw herself into another hug. “Thank you, Lucifer,” she said into his jacket.
His arms came up again after a slight delay, squeezing her back. “You’re very welcome, child,” he said.
After a long moment, he pushed her back a bit so he could look her in the eyes. “I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a while,” he said. “And it’s something I should have said sooner.” His eyes closed for a moment as he took a deep breath, and when he opened them, the expression they held, the sadness they contained, made all her fears rush back. “But I also have something to say that I really don’t want to be telling you.”
Her heart felt like it dropped into her stomach. “You’re going away again, aren’t you?” she asked.
“It’s possible,” he admitted. “I truly, truly don’t wish to do so, but … it seems I may have no choice.”
“But why?” she demanded.
“I don’t honestly know,” he admitted. “But I … I have reason to believe that I may very soon be forced to leave, and I don’t know when or if I’ll be able to come back. And all I know is that I don’t want to leave you or your mother, or any of my family again, and I will do everything in my power to avoid it, but if I can’t, I didn’t want to hurt you again the way I did before, by leaving without warning you. And, more importantly, I didn’t want to leave without telling you how very much I will miss you, and how much it’s meant to me to have you in my life.”
This time there was no holding back the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She wanted to say something back—something deep and meaningful and heartfelt—but all that came out was, “I don’t want you to go.”
“Oh, Urchin,” he said, and this time it was him that pulled her in for a tight hug. “I don’t want to go either.”
Eventually she pulled back, realizing she was still clutching the pendant box in her hand. “Can you … can you put this on?” she asked, thrusting the box toward him.
“Of course, sweet child,” he said. He pulled the pendant out carefully, turned her slightly to set it around her neck and fasten it.
It felt cool against her skin, but smooth and reassuringly solid. As if it held a link from her to him, and maybe he wouldn’t go that far away, for that long, if they were still connected.
“Hey, Trix!”
Her head jerked around at the call from Maisie.
“You coming?” her friend yelled. “We’re almost ready for the first launch!”
“Yeah, just a minute!” she yelled back, surprised that her voice didn’t crack. She turned back to Lucifer.
He smiled, though the expression still held a deep sadness. “You should go,” he said. “You wouldn’t want to miss your first launch.” He pressed the velvet box back into her hand, along with the envelope. “There’s just one more thing I need to say. If you ever really have need of me, Urchin, if you are ever in trouble, think about me, call my name. And if there is any way in Heaven, Hell, or Earth, or any of the realms in between, I will do my utmost to come.”
“You will?”
“I promise. Just remember. Call my name.”
“Okay,” she murmured. “I’ll remember.”
“All right, sweet child. Go to your friends. Enjoy your time. I will hope to see you soon. But whether I do or not, remember that you are loved. By all your friends and family, the Devil included.” Standing, he pulled her into another hug.
“Thank you, Lucifer,” she said again, dampening his jacket with her tears.
“Thank you, Beatrice, for showing the Devil a pure heart, and helping him be a better man.” He kissed the top of her head, then pulled back and turned away.
“Goodbye, Lucifer,” she whispered, as he walked back toward the parking area. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Urchin,” he said, and she heard him clearly even though he never turned around.