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"Here's a question that all your fans are curious about, what makes you smile like that? I mean, you are voted to have the most beautiful smile among top celebrities. So what makes Kim Junkyu smile?"
The interviewer asks with intent eyes. The mic, the lights, and cameras all point at only one person. The man with a confident stance and beautiful smile, Kim Junkyu. His sparkling eyes don't waver as he takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to answer the question, "It's because—"
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"Kim Junkyu! You're the best!"
Junkyu's eyes soften at the sight of the smaller one with his big round eyes shining and looking up at him. Instead of a mic, Junkyu holds a spoon in one of his hands and sings his heart out in a small diner downtown with them as the only customers. It doesn't have the best food but it's their favorite place because they can have some privacy. Even the owner of the diner already knows them, even lets him have a small concert after every meal.
Well, it's actually just Junkyu singing with a spoon and two other people as the audience, one is the owner of the diner and the other is the love of his life.
Mashiho.
When he ends his song, thunderous claps echo around the small diner. Mashiho claps the loudest, of course.
"You're the best! That's the best ever."
Junkyu smiles gingerly at him and goes down the stage, aka sits back down after standing on top of the chair.
"You think so? Did I sing well?"
As if Mashiho knows that just confirming with his words is not enough, he gives him an enthusiastic double thumbs up, "It is! Perfect!"
"You think I'll pass the audition?"
"I have no doubt about that."
Junkyu lets go of his doubts and side-hugs Mashiho, the best comfort, the best supporter he'll ever have. Mashiho clings his hand on his arms and kisses his cheek,"You'll do well. Believe me."
"I always do. I believe in you more than myself."
Mashiho giggles, "Eyy. You should believe in yourself more."
Junkyu only tightens his hug. He knows he should stand up for himself one day, especially with the dream he's chasing, but for now he wants to savour this warmth, this solace that he gets even without asking.
------
Junkyu spots the familiar small frame from a distance the moment he gets down the bus, Junkyu runs to him even when his knees are already about to give out from everything that happened to him that day.
"Mashi!"
As soon as Mashiho is within his reach, he hugs the little one by the waist, lifts him up and spun him around as if the legs that were about to give up just a while ago gains new strength.
"Ya! Kim Junkyu! Bring me down first before you tell the news!"
Mashiho taps him, giggling along with his laughs. Mashiho probably already gets the gist of what he's about to say.
"I got in, Mashi! I got in! I beat five thousand applicants!"
He puts Mashiho down and suddenly he bursts out crying. Suddenly, all his hardwork comes back to him and he feels relief, realizing that everything is not in vain. He cries like a little child with Mashiho gently patting the back of his head.
"I know you'll make it." Mashiho says confidently.
Junkyu wraps his arms around him and just cries on Mashiho's shoulder. Mashiho continues caressing his back to calm him down.
His dream is finally within reach.
----
Junkyu doesn't want to let go. He just wants to rest his head forever on Mashiho's shoulder.
"Junkyu, I can't breathe. Our classmates are waiting for you to have a photo session with them."
Mashiho taps his back but Junkyu just groans and continues hugging him, "I don't want to. I just want to stay here. In your arms. We only have a day left. I don't want to waste my time with them."
Mashiho hisses at him and reprimands, "Don't be like that. You'll soon face a crowd larger than this, more people than our school, countless numbers of people that you won't even remember all their faces. You'll have to know how to interact with them."
Junkyu groans again. He understands what Mashiho means but today will also be the last day they'll see each other in school. It's their graduation day and after this, Junkyu doesn't know when he'll see Mashiho again. The agency wants him to study high school in a school near their training center, and that's at the heart of Seoul, far away from their humble province.
"Kim Junkyu."
Mashiho firmly calls his name and Junkyu lets go immediately but not without his lips turning into a pout. Mashiho, knowing how to read even the minute changes in his expression, naturally interlaces their fingers and grips his hand.
"I'm all yours later so hurry up and grant their requests."
Junkyu's heart finally settles with Mashiho's assurance and lets go of his hand but not without confirming once again, "You promise, okay? You'll spend the rest of the day with me today!"
Mashiho nods.
"When did I ever break my promise?"
"Never."
Junkyu pauses to gaze at Mashiho and his unwavering eyes. There's never a room for doubt with Mashiho. If he says, he will, he will. And that's one of the many things he loves about him. He etches this image of Mashiho smiling at him today in his mind before he turns his back from him to humor the crowd that was waiting for him since forever.
------
"Mashi, I miss you. I miss you so bad. If only I could escape here and fly there even just for a day."
Mashiho hums on the other line. He's probably doing his homework at this time because Junkyu hears the sound of pencil scratching on paper as they talk.
"Did you get scolded again by your instructor?"
"H- how did you know?"
Junkyu hears Mashiho laugh on the other side, "You always say you miss me then rant about getting scolded by your instructor after. I know you, Kyu."
"Heh. You really know me."
Just a passing comment by Mashiho can already put a smile on Junkyu's face. He got scolded for his uncoordinated body movements earlier and yeah, maybe he calls Mashiho so he can feel a bit better.
And this method never fails.
"But it's true that I miss you. I miss you everyday, Mashi."
"I miss you too. Every single day."
Junkyu yawns, exhausted from juggling practice and school.
"It's late already, Kyu. Sleep."
"But I want to talk to you more—"
Junkyu yawns again and he can't keep his eyes from closing anymore. He falls asleep with the phone still on his ears.
"I love you, Kyu."
Junkyu already fails to reply and answer as his mind and body already goes to dreamland.
Mashiho makes a flying kiss to the phone. He waits for a minute before ending the call, just listening to Junkyu's constant breathing as he sleeps.
------
Everyday. Every other day. Every two days. Weekly. Monthly…
The frequency of their call gradually decreases as both of them get a packed schedule. Both of them graduated high school but they only get even busier with Mashiho starting college and Junkyu continuing his training to debut.
"Mashi, how's your day?"
This has already been their regular greeting, asking each other how their day went. It can be a bit of a boring question but Junkyu values this precious time and the precious details he'll learn more about Mashiho.
"I'm sorry, Kyu. I'm busy today. Can we talk later?"
"Okay."
That was the last call of the day.
Junkyu goes back to practicing with an unsettled mind. He wonders what is making Mashiho busy since his voice doesn't sound like usual. He sounds like he's stressed, panicking.
It takes a week until Junkyu finds a free time to call Mashiho again. He has big news to tell him today and he cannot wait to share his happiness with him.
He calls.
He calls.
And calls again.
It takes around 20 more attempts before Mashiho answers.
"Hello?"
Junkyu is elated just by hearing Mashiho's voice, forgetting he almost spent an hour trying to reach him.
"Mashi! Mashi! I have big news!!! I'm going to debut, Mashi! I'm finally going to debut! They said we'll sign a contract tomorrow! You'll see me on tv soon! I'm so close to achieving my dream, Mashi!"
Junkyu excitedly reports over the phone but he hears a minute of silence before Mashiho replies, "I'm happy for you, Kyu."
"Mashi?"
"Hm?"
"You don't sound happy to me."
"I am. Believe me."
Junkyu feels a tremble on Mashiho's voice from the other side.
"I've always believed in you, Mashi. But not now, you don't sound okay. You sound like you're about to cry."
"I'm just tired, Kyu."
"Mashi…"
"I'm sorry Kyu, I have to go."
"I love you, Mashi. Still do."
"Mashiho! You're needed at the living room."
After the familiar voice of Mashiho's uncle over the phone calling him, the call already gets cut off. Junkyu looks at his phone blankly and bites his thumb.
Something is wrong.
Mashiho isn't supposed to be outside at this hour. He is supposed to still be at school but Junkyu hears a different surrounding over the phone — not of young people talking but there are murmurs of older people chattering away, he thinks he hears someone weeping too.
Junkyu's heart beats faster with his increasing worry. He calls Mashiho's school to ask for him and gets a shocking revelation. Mashiho dropped out of the fashion academy just a week ago and the reason he left is to take care of his grandmother in the hospital, the person who raised Mashiho since he's a child.
Junkyu's heart drops.
Mashiho has been carrying a heavy burden and he has never heard of it. He should have called Mashiho sooner. When Mashiho is having a hard time, he just goes on and on while complaining about mundane things.
Mashiho needs him. He realizes.
Mashiho needs him right at this moment.
But—
The signing of his contract is scheduled to happen tomorrow. If he leaves for their province today, he might miss the time for contract signing. Or he can try to make it work if he goes for a bit and immediately returns to Seoul right after.
It's a bit risky but Mashiho is his first priority right now.
He takes the plane and he cannot forget the look on Mashiho's face when Mashiho sees him by the entrance of his house. He looks confused, surprised, sad, exhausted — feeling all emotions at the same time.
Junkyu walks closer to him, to the man he has only been seeing through pictures for years now. He gets older, more mature, the bags on his eyes are thicker and darker but it's still the same Mashiho that he loves, that thick brows, small pointy nose, his big ears, tiny mouth — the small features that he loves so much — they all stayed the same.
"What are you doing here?"
"You need me."
"I didn't ask you to be here. Go back."
"No."
"Kim Junkyu!"
Mashiho raises his voice and the guests all turn their gazes at them so Mashiho has no choice but to drag him to his room. Junkyu looks around as he's getting dragged by Mashiho. The people are all wearing black, there's a picture of Mashiho's grandma at the center of an altar with incense burning on both sides and flowers and fruits displayed around.
It's Mashiho's grandmother's wake.
"Isn't your contract signing tomorrow? Why are you here now? Your dream is right up to your nose! Don't waste it by being here! Go back right this instant!"
"You need me, Mashi."
Junkyu calmly repeats himself and cups his face. His tears almost escape from his eyes, seeing Mashiho's eyes waver and feeling Mashiho's lips tremble.
"Kyu…" Mashiho's voice shakes, he's at the verge of breaking down. Just how difficult was Mashiho's days, enduring everything alone.
Junkyu's heart broke.
"God didn't make me the strongest soldier but I can endure everything because you're always with me, supporting my dream right from the start. You're my stronghold, Mashi. Let me be one for you too. You don't have to act strong in front of me."
Junkyu thumbs Mashiho's lips before he plants the gentlest kiss on them. He feels a drop of tear at the back of his hand and he just continues to put soft butterfly kisses on Mashiho's lips, wrapping his arms around Mashiho's head. Mashiho lets him, closes his tear-filled eyes, and pulls him closer by the waist.
It's a serene moment.
As if the world only revolves around them.
When their lips part, Junkyu gives Mashiho the tightest, firmest hug he can give, "Mashi, I'll always be here. I'm here to stay forever."
"You'll have to leave for your dreams. I'm fine, Kyu."
"You're not fine now, Mashi. That's just contract signing, maybe I can ask them to move it for another day. I'll be their new star, after all."
Junkyu finally hears Mashiho giggle.
"Where do you get your confidence from?"
Junkyu kisses Mashiho's lips again, "From you, of course."
Mashiho's lips finally turns into a smile and he slots himself comfortably in Junkyu's embrace.
------
"Suddenly, everything feels lighter."
Mashiho says while looking at the ceiling.
Junkyu lays beside him, holding his hand. He already called his agency and they agreed to move the contract signing for a day. It's not like he'll have to debut right away, anyway.
"That's how it has always been for me." Junkyu then shifts his body to turn at Mashiho, "because you are always there."
Mashiho shifts his body too so they're now facing each other. They gaze at each other's eyes for a while before Kyu breaks the stillness by moving closer and kissing Mashiho's forehead.
Mashiho closes his eyes and receives his kiss.
"I miss your hugs and kisses", Mashiho mutters softly.
Junkyu smiles, "I miss hugging and kissing you too."
Mashiho suddenly feels shy and blushes. He goes and hides his head on Junkyu's chest, wrapping his tiny arms around Junkyu's waist.
"H- hey."
"Your heart is beating so fast right now, Kyu."
"Of course, how can my heart not beat when we're this close?"
"Mine is beating fast too."
Mashiho looks up at him and meets his eyes.
Junkyu looks away, his heart is beating even faster than before, "Don't look at me like that. I might think of doing other things."
"Like?" Mashiho asks innocently.
Junkyu sighs, suddenly cups Mashiho's face and kisses Mashiho roughly, giving in from all the pent up emotions he has accumulated while imagining Mashiho by his side for all those years, "Like this."
When he pulls away, Mashiho's eyes remain closed for a bit, as if he's still wanting more. He opens his eyes again, there's that unwavering gaze that Mashiho always wears, "Show me more."
Junkyu puts his arms around Mashiho and goes in for another kiss, "You ask for it. Don't regret it."
"I won't."
The sight of Mashiho's naked body that night will be another one of Junkyu's memories that he wants his mind to store forever.
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[His sparkling eyes don't waver as he takes a deep breath and opens his mouth to answer the question, "It's because I always have my greatest fan by my side. Always making me smile."
"I guess that will be your family."
Junkyu just gives the interviewer a meaningful smile and a giggle—]
"A fan, huh."
"Why did you turn off the television? The interview is not yet done!"
"I'll just have you tell the answers directly to me," Mashiho whispers and twists his body to kiss Junkyu. He's been sitting on Junkyu's lap since earlier as they watch the television.
Junkyu kisses him back and smiles, "She's not wrong about the family part though."
Mashiho hums, intertwines their fingers and looks at their hands for a brief moment with a satisfied look, "I guess."
The gold bands on their ring fingers sparkles under the bright-lit living room of their home.
And it's beautiful.
[END]