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Percy Weasley was supposed to marry a woman. That was what he had always been led to believe.
Everyone in his family followed a set path. If there had been anyone in the extensive Weasley clan who deviated from what was expected then their stories had long been lost to the sands of time; a memory that was quickly extinguished. Glossed over when stories of the past were regaled to the newest generation. Destined to be forever remembered as close family friends, but never as lovers.
He planned to exceed the expectations placed on him by his mother and society. He would be the perfect student and the perfect son. Follow the carefully laid plan to graduate Hogwarts, marry a woman, and begin creating a family of his own.
Never deviate from the plan was the motto he chanted to himself at night as he lay in the dark wondering why it all just felt so wrong. Giving his family any more reason to think that he was weird, odd, not quite like the rest was not an option. All he ever wanted was to make his family proud of him, to live up to the high expectations of his parents and follow in his older brother’s footsteps.
Already the black sheep of his siblings, a Weasley only in appearance but not in demeanor. Often wondering what he would give for a chance to just be himself.
He could be happy. He would learn how to be happy.
He did not plan on Oliver Wood. The handsome and charismatic Gryffindor Quidditch captain and keeper. His roommate, best friend, and the boy who stole his heart with no warning. He did not fall for Oliver all at once but rather slowly over the course of several years. He didn't realize his feelings towards his best friend had changed until he made a joke that only Oliver seemed to get. A private moment in a crowded room as their classmates watched, not understanding what was so funny or why he couldn't look away. The early morning sunlight streaming in from the windows of the Great Hall highlighted Oliver's strong jaw and accentuated the sparse spackling of freckles that dotted his nose and cheeks. Warm brown eyes flecked with gold sparkling with mirth as his grin spread across his face. In that moment Oliver was luminous.
From then on his time at Hogwarts was plagued with maybes and what ifs. He didn't understand what he felt, didn't know how to even begin to confront this new development. Even if he had he wouldn't have done anything about it. He never asked back then if Oliver felt the same way. Why would he? He was not going to deviate from the plan. Instead he settled for small brushes of their hands when one of them reached for something, shoulders or elbows touching for a fraction of a second too long when they studied next to each other in the library, shy smiles when he met Oliver's eyes across a table, stolen glances at parties, and hugs that tingled his spine leaving him feeling confused.
Something was better than nothing. He found himself wondering late at night what he would give for the chance to be with Oliver.
He could be happy. He would learn how to be happy.
Graduation came and went. He and his girlfriend, Penny, mutually decided to part way agreeing to stay friends. They just never quite fit together and he couldn’t explain why. His career at the Ministry was demanding, he slowly lost touch with his friends from Hogwarts. Once he left his family at nineteen he cut off all communication with anyone from his past for the next few years, sinking all of his energy into work. Ignoring the loneliness that engulfed him, the silence that seemed to permeate his bones. The only person that he kept up with was Oliver, even though it was always from afar. He watched as his old friend was moved from the reserve team to a starting position as keeper for Puddlemere United. Marking the games on his calendar so he could turn on his radio and listen, cheering the team on from his couch just so he would have an excuse to say Oliver's name.
Occasionally he would make his way to a home game, sitting in the stands he was always alone. His eyes never left the Puddlemere goalposts watching as Oliver made impressive saves and gasped along with the crowd when he let a rare Quaffle by him. He wanted to go congratulate Oliver whenever he won a game but he never could gather the courage. Always ending up leaving directly after the snitch catch while promising himself that next time he would speak to the first friend he ever made.
As the war approached the professional Quidditch teams had to cancel all games for fear of casualties. He lost all contact with Oliver. He no longer had the Daily Prophet to tell him details about the boy's life and his name wasn't being called by an announcer on the radio. His flat now felt even emptier than before without the presence of Oliver's name. He had no more excuses to whisper it to himself, to relish the feel of it on his tongue. His last tether to the past, a desperate attempt to cling to some sense of normalcy was gone.
He saw Oliver again at the battle of Hogwarts. Standing off to the side while his family all stared at him he briefly looked up. Oliver's eyes locked on his own from across the room. Too stunned to move when Oliver smiled at him, actually smiled.
As though they had never lost touch. Like he wasn’t the disgraced formerly perfect son. Like he wasn't a horrible person for what he had done to his family, to the people that he had called friends.
He tried to explain to his family that he had realized he made a mistake siding with the Ministry months prior. It had been too dangerous to openly defy the deatheater regime so he had resorted to subtle sabotage. In the months leading up to the battle he desperately wanted to reach out to his family or to Oliver for help. He always stopped himself right before he sent the letter, there was a stack of them stuffed into a drawer in his kitchen. Much like the Quidditch games he just lost his nerve. If he was being honest he was afraid of rejection and didn't want to face the possibility that those he cared about would forever turn their backs on him. That he could never come back home.
Before the battle began he wanted to speak with Oliver. There was so much to say and not enough time in that brief moment to fully convey everything that he felt. He settled for nodding his head before they had to go fight. He lost Oliver in the surge of people rushing to their assigned positions, he would not see him again until after the battle was over. Harry Potter had finally defeated the darkest wizard of their time. They had won against overwhelming odds.
Standing in the Great Hall he was overwhelmed by regret and guilt. Crushing him beneath the weight, making him feel as though he was being held underwater fighting for air. His own brother was among the many who gave their lives fighting against Voldemort. The outline of his last smile forever etched onto his face. A smile that he had put there with an unplanned joke right before the unthinkable happened. A flash of light and his world had been forever changed. His family was permanently fractured, a missing piece in their lives that could never be recovered.
Bodies littered the area where he once ate his meals as people tried to triage the severity of injuries and tend to the wounded. Oliver was hurt, he saw him lying amongst those who needed to be transferred to St. Mungo's. He thought about going over to him but he was already being tended to by Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey. Besides, Oliver was currently unconscious, deep gashes marring his face and body. What comfort could he really offer?
He asked himself what he would give for the chance to be the one to sit by Oliver's bedside while he recovered.
Turning from Oliver he went to stand with his family who were all grieving the loss of one family member while rejoicing in the return of another. He was the one who made all the wrong decisions and came around to that realization a little too late. While he had showed up to fight against the deatheaters, he wasn't sure if was enough to erase years worth of mistakes. He couldn't disappoint his family again. He would have to follow the plan and return to his formally perfect self.
He could be happy. He would learn how to be happy.
After the war he focused on repairing the cracks in his relationships with his remaining family members. Some cracks were larger than others, it was exhausting work which required profuse apologies and more than a few tears being shed. He poured all his time and energy into making amends for the perceived wrongs of the past, desperately trying to move forward as they all grieved in their own ways. Through a co-worker at the Ministry he met a muggle girl named Audrey. She was much like Penny had been, he took comfort in the familiar sense of platonic friendship. Quiet and sweet, she was someone that he knew that he could eventually grow quite fond of. He introduced her to his family who accepted her immediately, embracing her as a future Weasley.
His family beamed at him, finally he was back on the right path. His father praised his choice for a wife while his mother not so subtly hinted that her future grandchildren would be heartstoppers. He gave a smile that never met his eyes while, accepting their congratulations. She was a nice girl. She would make a lovely wife and be an excellent mother, but she would never be the love of his life.
At an engagement party to celebrate his upcoming marriage he met a familiar pair of brown eyes from across the room. He hadn't expected Oliver to come, didn't fully understand why he sent him an invitation in the first place. After the battle Oliver had sent him a few letters expressing his condolences on the loss of Fred, mentioning how nice it would be to reconnect. He had not answered any of them. Preferring to place Oliver in the past and focus fully on the future. Focus on the plan.
Perhaps he had just wanted to see if time and circumstances had changed anything. When he stared into those eyes his breath still hitched in his throat. When Oliver grinned at him this time he grinned back, finding that his legs were already propelling him forwards. Towards Oliver instead of away from him. As he approached his heart pounded in his chest, he was certain that it was audible to the other guests. One simple word from Oliver, "hello." That was all it took for him to spend the rest of the night catching up on what the past few years had been like for the both of them. No one suspected a thing, they had been best friends and hadn’t seen each other in a while of course he would want to chat with Oliver.
They sat at the bar, impossibly close but not quite touching. Long lingering glances while they sipped their drinks while Oliver regaled him with stories of his time on the road with Puddlemere. He found himself laughing, the kind of laugh where you throw your head back and causes your sides to hurt. He had not laughed like that since Hogwarts, since he left Oliver. Those that looked on thought he looked happy and remarked on how nice it was that he had been able to rekindle his friendship with Oliver. Perhaps this would be the last step that he needed to fully heal.
No matter that it was rather odd that he was ignoring his fiance all evening. That he hadn't acknowledged or thanked any of the guests that had arrived in the past two hours. Did it really matter if he seemed to be more animated, more himself around Oliver than he ever had around Audrey. No one payed any mind to the fact that Oliver looked at Percy with an expression that suggested he wanted to be much more than friends.
Eventually Oliver had to leave, it was late and he had monopolized his friend’s time that he should have been spending with his fiance and family. He was sad to see Oliver leave, wanted him to stay longer. To stay with him. Perhaps he could recapture that feeling of pure joy and contentment, before he had to go back to following the plan.
A moment alone standing outside the restaurant with a strong hand on his shoulder, Oliver’s breath warm against his face. Those gorgeous brown eyes holding an intensity that was usually reserved for Quidditch. One question. "Was he happy?"
He asked himself what he would give for the chance to finally be happy.
As he stood at the mirror that night, his fiance already asleep in their bed blissfully unaware of his inner turmoil. He gripped the edge of the sink until his knuckles turned white. Slowly lifting his gaze taking in his red rimmed eyes which looked dead again, not full of life like they had earlier when he was with Oliver. He gave up on the plan. It was time to start finally putting his own wants and needs first. The next morning he broke off the engagement with Audrey assuring her that it was nothing that she had done, this was just something that he had to do. There were tears and accusations of another woman. Even then no one could think that he would end up marrying anyone but a woman. His mother took it the hardest of his family members. He sat at his parent's kitchen table while his mother yelled. How could he do this to her? To his family? How could he break her heart yet again? How could he break Audrey's heart? She was such a nice girl and they looked so good together.
He didn't know how to tell her that by saving other's hearts he would be breaking his own.
He moved out a few days after calling off the engagement. Opting to let Audrey keep the flat he got his own place near Oliver. He wrote to his old friend who dropped everything to come help him unpack his things. Not asking any prying questions just being a comforting presence, offering a shoulder to cry on if he needed and a standing invitation to explore his new neighborhood. He took his friend up on that offer and soon they were spending every weekend exploring muggle London. Museums, aquariums, plays, musicals, restaurant openings, and farmer's markets became their normal activities. He attended Quidditch games to cheer Oliver on and this time he would always speak to Oliver afterwards, usually joining him and his teammates for a drink.
It was effortless to be with Oliver. Comforting yet exciting in a way that he had never experienced with either Penelope or Audrey. He could be himself around Oliver, smiled and laughed more. Soon he found that he could think of Fred and not feel as though his heart had been ripped from his chest, began to talk about the Ministry and of his issues with reconnecting with his family. Oliver listened in that patient way of his, never judging or asking for more information than his friend was willing to give at that moment. Encouraging him to keep reaching out to his family, subtle reminders that these things took time. Never letting him forget that he was worth loving.
He asked himself what he would give to be loved by Oliver.
He finally had a chance to be happy.
Gradually they spent more and more time together practically becoming inseparable. Their friendship provided a solid foundation that could weather any storm. Allowing their love to bloom and flourish in the safety of mutual respect and understanding.
None of their friends were surprised when they announced that they were officially dating. That too was effortless, as though they should always have been together and anything else was simply delaying the inevitable. His only regret was that he had not done this sooner, cursed the number of years that he had wasted before choosing Oliver. Finally choosing his own happiness above anything else.
Oliver was an ocean, a vast expanse of uncharted territory that he hesitantly navigated at first. Unsure if he was ready to dive in, he cautiously dipped his toes in allowing himself to get used to each new sensation gradually diving deeper and deeper. As the months progressed their passion turned to a deeper connection and understanding. He finally understood why it hadn't quite worked with anybody else.
Kisses on the lips, the forehead, the temple, the nose, the neck, the knuckles, and anywhere else that they could think of. Love notes that Oliver left him before he had to leave for Quidditch practice along with breakfast that was always warm so he could start his day off with a proper meal. Waking up on weekends in a tangle of limbs with Oliver's head resting contentedly on his chest, his slightly curly hair tickling his neck. Oliver counted the freckles on his body every night before they went to sleep. Losing count at around one hundred and fifty, he would always start over the following evening. As though Percy was his astronomy homework, a constellation that had to map before he lost it forever.
He rubbed Oliver’s swollen feet after a long day of Quidditch practice, wrapped his arms around Oliver’s waist while he cooked them dinner, cuddled with him on the couch when they watched tv, and always held his hand while they were out in public. Never tiring of his company and they never seemed to run out of things to say to each other. He would listen intently over a romantic candlelit dinner as Oliver explained a new Quidditch move that he was trying to perfect and Oliver always wanted to know what he was working on at the Ministry. Oliver proudly showed him off to his teammates and never seemed to tire of bragging about his brilliant boyfriend who was well on his way to becoming the head of the Department of Transportation. Oliver's constant praise made his cheeks turn red, but he secretly enjoyed having someone look at him with such adoration and pride. Oliver never cared that he wasn't perfect, he always said that he didn't want his boyfriend to be perfect. Perfect was boring.
It seemed unnecessary to have two flats since he already practically lived at Oliver’s place. After nine months of dating they decided that he would move into Oliver’s flat since he was the one with a spare bedroom for guests. Oliver promised him that he would let it double as an in home library so that his books could finally have a place of honor. After his boyfriend uttered that phrase he knew that he had truly found his soulmate, the one person who knew him better than he knew himself. Someone who would care for him, love him even at his worst, and never give up on him.
He brought Oliver to the burrow to tell his family about his plans to move in with the love of his life. The news was met with mixed responses. His siblings drilled Oliver before deciding that he was worthy of their brother. Expressing their acknowledgment that Oliver was a good guy and their thanks at how happy he made Percy. His father didn’t quite understand but knew that his son’s smile was genuine for the first time in years. He was still getting used to the idea of him dating a boy, however, he was willing to put aside any reservations if it meant that he would see him smile like that more. His mother took it the hardest. She called Oliver a phase that her son was going through, never intended to be anything serious. She had only put up with it because eventually he would come to his senses. Accused him of being a homewrecker, blamed him for her son's failed engagement. She wanted her son to get married, have children, create a family and a life. How could he do that with a boy?
He stood up for Oliver, told his mum that he could still have all of that. Just because he would be spending his future with a man instead of a woman did not mean that his life would be ruined. She stormed off sobbing, his dad had gone after her to try and get her to see that her son's happiness should be the only thing that mattered. He and Oliver ended up sitting on the back steps leading into the garden. Oliver held him while he cried, rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head. Soon his siblings joined them, nodding their approval at Oliver's instinct to protect their brother. They accepted him as a Weasley whether or not the two of them ended up getting married or not.
He knew what he was willing to give to keep Oliver in his life forever.
He was finally happy. His family would learn how to be happy for him.
On the edge of the Dunnett Head Cliffs in Scotland on a warm day in June he faced the sea taking in the rugged beauty of it all. The swell of the sea causing massive waves to crash against the jagged rocks below sending sprays that would drench them if they climbed down the winding path. This was his first time meeting all of Oliver’s extended family and the two of them had slipped away for a private moment together. Oliver had claimed this was a good place for a quick hike that was not too strenuous. He had been wary at first but as he stood there with the cool wind sweeping in off the sea he had to agree that it was a good idea. The wind had tinged his cheeks pink and he knew that the salty sea air would cause his hair to curl, becoming completely unmanageable in a few days time. None of that mattered though, he was here with Oliver.
He heard his name being called, barely a whisper above the sound of the howling wind. Turning around Oliver dropped to his knee and pulled a ring out of his pocket. His hands shaking ever so slightly as he held it out towards his soon to be fiance. When he was asked if he was sure that Oliver was the one, he simply responded with, "for you I would give it all."