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Bucky Barnes has three fundamentally important people in his life, which he wouldn’t trade for anything in the world nor would he second-guess to give his life for. These three people matter so much to him not only because of the different emotional bonds he has developed with each one, but because he can relate to them through three very distinctive periods/experiences of his life. And after all he has gone through, being able to relate to someone is of high value to him.
The first of those three that always comes to mind is none other than Steve Rogers, known to the world as Captain America. With Steve, Bucky shares everything that went on in his life before he fell from the train in Switzerland. Most of his childhood, all of his teenage years, and the beginning of his young adulthood; even some of the events that went down during the war were experienced alongside the other man. Rogers is the only person that signifies to Bucky a remaining connection to his life before being the Winter Soldier. Everyone else has since long passed away.
Although broken and scattered, the Sergeant can still recall bits and pieces that made up his life before the Army, which more often than not include scenes where Barnes can be seen either pulling Rogers away from a fight or picking him up afterward. Steve’s well-known moral principles landed him in a streak of altercations with bullies, even before he was dosed with the Super Soldier Serum. Then again, is that exact reason that made him the perfect candidate for the secret project.
“You were always getting your ass handed to yourself by bigger and stronger guys just because you couldn’t stand aside while something bad happened,” Bucky casually reminded his best friend one time, while they were both quietly eating lunch on a little café downtown.
There was no reproach in his tone, just some incredulity, and sincere admiration. Even when he physically looked down at Steve, he always looked up to him.
“You know I couldn’t keep my arms crossed and watch some asshole get away with everything,” was Steve’s mild reply.
He didn’t want to get into an argument with the other, yet he didn’t want to make a concession either. After all, he still holds up the same principles and standards.
“I do know, and I always admired you for it. No matter how much of a pain in the ass you were back then, getting beaten up constantly. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Barnes’ answer came easily, uttered with a lazy smile that conveyed his honesty. They have been friends for such a long time that they don’t need explicit words to communicate such important things. They just know it by heart.
The second person Bucky cares about the most is someone that he never thought he could have in his life after regaining his identity as Bucky Barnes.
Blake Summers, also known as Black Sun, is Buck’s wonderful and loving girlfriend. Although they started almost hating each other ‒given that the actual first time they met, Bucky was still under Hydra’s control‒, they came to understand and care for the other over the months following their official meeting.
With her, he shares pretty much everything that relates to being held captive, experimented on, and turned into a human weapon. Since she went through some of the same experiences (except the fact that she was born in a lab and thus didn’t suffer through any mind-control techniques nor memory erasure), she’s the only one he can really relate to when it comes to that.
Everyone else, despite how empathetic, wouldn’t understand as well as she does. Even when Wanda actually went through some of the same horrors with Hydra, as he did, she still retained at least a bit of willingness regarding that, unlike Bucky and Blake.
“I’m grateful to have you in my life, you know?”
He told his girlfriend one chilly winter night, while they were both snuggling together in bed, the low murmur of the TV providing some soothing background noise. Most nights, they leave the TV on with a movie or a show playing, not being able to withstand the silence nor the darkness of the night.
“Not only because you make me happy, but because you understand me in a way no one else does,” he confessed, a little shyly yet forcing the words out, needing to let the girl know how he felt.
They don’t often talk about their similar pasts, but they know they can trust each other to speak freely and without judgment about it. And for that, they are both extremely grateful to have the other in their life.
“I know and I’m thankful too,” came Blake’s short and soft reply, trying to soothe her partner with light caresses on his back and shoulders.
Whenever things get bad or too much, they can rely on the other’s help and support. The trust they were able to build wasn’t easy to achieve, but it’s worth every second of doubt and discomfort they had to go through to get it.
The third (and final, so far) person that has become so important to the Sarge is someone that perhaps not many people expected him to bond with over shared experiences. That one is actually Natasha Romanov, known by many as the Black Widow. Although, in all honesty, anyone that knows at least some of her story shouldn’t be surprised at all that those two could become good friends.
She is a Russian spy trained by the KGB who grew up in the Soviet Union, after all. But what most people don’t really know about is the actual history that exists between the two former assassins. As it turns out, Bucky was under Soviet control around the time Romanov was being trained in the Black Widow Program. He even got to be one of her “teachers”.
However, it wasn’t until he started to slowly regain his memories that he realized that he knew Natasha from even before killing a scientist by shooting him dead through her. It took some time, but after that, he awkwardly sought her out, wanting to talk to her about that period and learn as much as possible.
Given that he was still trying to piece together much of his past, she agreed to help. That’s how they ended up bonding over their shared torment at the hands of the KGB. And in the end, they were able to create a beautiful, yet sort of peculiar friendship by being the only ones they could relate to about such horrible experiences.
“I never told you this before, but I remembered you,” uttered Buck out of the blue one day while sitting comfortably on one of the couches in the lounge, a book laying forgotten on his lap.
Natasha, who was sitting nearby, focused on her phone until Barnes spoke, made a humming noise of inquiry, inciting the other to explain further.
“In Germany, after Zemo activated the Program, you said that ‘at least I could remember you,’” the man continued, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, trying to gauge her reaction.
Poker-faced but looking up from the device on her hands, Romanov urged him to keep talking, showing her patient interest in the topic, as well as her curiosity. After all, she really thought he didn’t remember her at all. In actuality, he was just in “Winter Soldier Mode” and just couldn’t really do much more than attack anybody standing in his way.
“I did remember you, just couldn’t say so at the time,” he went on, omitting any explanations as the reason was obvious enough.
“When did you start to remember?” Natasha asked not only to keep the conversation going but because she was actually interested.
She especially wanted to know what exactly had he managed to remember up until that point. When he mentioned the aftermath of Hydra’s fall in Washington, she got to the question she really wanted to ask.
“And what did you remember exactly?”
Natasha’s tone was even and open, wanting to let Bucky know that it was okay to talk about it if he wanted to share. She wouldn’t ever pressure him about it, but she still wanted him to open up since it would mean that she could have someone from her past she could talk about it if she ever needed or wanted to.
“Not much, really. Some shattered memories about the Black Widow Program. Most of all, how ruthless and careless I was, and how you turned from a fearful and insecure girl to one of the best assassins in the history of the KGB,” came Buck’s stilted reply.
“Those aren’t pretty memories,” commented Romanov nonchalantly but with a careful tone, remembering the mentioned experiences even better than the Sarge himself.
After all, she was spared having her memory wiped. Still, she empathized with the other, and even if what he mostly remembered wasn’t good, she’d have that over nothing.
“Most of them aren’t. But I’ll rather have them than have none at all. Besides, most days, the good ones outweigh the bad ones.”
Bucky ended up unknowingly agreeing with Natasha, recognizing that even the worst kind of memories would be better than complete amnesia. Even the pain of knowing how heartless he was as the Winter Soldier doesn’t compare to the suffering of having a black hole inside his mind.
Because, in the end, those painful memories are what connect him to Natasha in a way that doesn’t happen with anyone else. And for that, no matter what, he’ll always be thankful. But most of all, he’s glad to have the former Russian assassin as someone he can rely on, bond with, and call his friend. He’s happy to have three people that mean so much to him and bring so much into his life. He wouldn’t have it any other way; all the pain was worth having such good friends and a partner to stand beside him proudly.