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George never sought out his soulmate. It seemed like it would just bring some unnecessary trouble onto him, following that little red string that he couldn’t even see properly. Even if people assured him, time and time again, that soulmates weren’t necessarily romantic, he still knew what people assumed. You followed the string on your pinky that only you could see, then you fell in love.
George didn’t want that. Not in the slightest. Romance had never appealed to him, it made his skin crawl to imagine himself as someone’s partner. He was okay joking about it, reading it, and sometimes when he was upset he would imagine someone running their fingers through his hair and kissing him better. The thought of someone’s intimacy made him happy. The thought of them being romantically attracted to him made him cringe.
He was grateful for DNF jokes, in a way. Even if everyone (almost everyone) knew they were jokes, they still rendered him in people’s minds as unavailable. They were a shield, preventing him from disappointing someone who wanted more from him. Dream was always careful with him, making sure he didn’t push a joke too far or make him uncomfortable, and that helped as well. It was like his private fantasies, almost. He felt loved in a way that didn’t challenge him.
Now, he was being challenged. He stared at Karl, the red string tied to his pinky, the wide-eyed look he gave George from across the foyer.
George knew that Karl was staying in Florida for the next few weeks for a collab with Sapnap. He knew that Karl’s plane had touched down while he was asleep. He knew that Karl would be waiting somewhere in the house to meet him for the first time in person. He didn’t know that Karl would be his soulmate, and from Karl’s shock, he didn’t either.
“Uh, hey Georgie,” Karl greeted in a feeble voice.
George also knew it was childish to turn around and run to his room like a frightened toddler. He did it anyway.
He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe and he threw himself into bed, pulling the blankets over his head and squeezing his eyes shut tight. This was the end of the world and somehow it was worse because Karl knew that, all of his friends knew he hated the thought of meeting his soulmate, and because it was Karl in particular he would feel guilty about it. He’d feel guilty even though it wasn’t his fault because Karl was thrilled at the thought of dating his soulmate, George knew that just as well as Karl knew he hated soulmates-
He flinched when the blankets were pulled back from over his head. A large body crawled in next to him, the mattress dipping under the weight as he pulled the blankets back over so they were plunged into darkness again, and strong arms wrapped around his waist.
“It’s okay, George,” Dream said softly. “Breathe with me, okay? Can you do that?”
“Sorry,” he choked out and Dream rubbed his back.
“No need to be. Come on. In and out with me, seven in, hold for four, out for eight.”
Dream started counting and George struggled to follow, forcing his lungs to slow down. Dream’s voice was soothing, he was always the best at calming George down when he got frantic, and this fact carried over to when they moved in together. He stumblingly followed Dream until his breaths were regulated, coming back to his body enough to realize how desperately he was clinging to Dream. He blushed, untangling his fingers from the front of Dream’s shirt, and his friend smiled.
“Doing better?” His hand was still rubbing George’s back, slow and methodical, and George nodded. “Okay. I’m glad.”
“He’s my soulmate,” George whispered and Dream’s smile dampened.
“Yeah. He told us.” Dream’s hand paused, feeling like a pressing weight against his back. It was equal parts reassuring and restraining. “You hurt his feelings when you ran out, I think. He isn’t mad at you or anything, we all understand, but he’s upset too.”
“I didn’t mean to.” George pressed forward to tuck his head under Dream’s, his eyes squeezing tightly shut. “This is why I never wanted to meet my soulmate.”
“I know.” Dream sighed. “I think you should talk to him.”
“Can we stay here, just a little bit longer? Please?” George let his voice soften in that pathetic way that Dream couldn’t say no to and he could feel the way his best friend inhaled.
“Of course.”
Dream talked to George for an hour about some Minecraft plug-in he had thought up, giving them both something else to think about until George was capable of sitting up. He felt more grounded as Dream led him out of his room, able to think like a normal human being instead of letting panic run his mind. That didn’t stop his heart from dropping out of his chest when he saw Karl on the couch.
He had his knees pulled up to rest his chin on, leaning against Sapnap and talking to him in a soft voice. He was fidgeting with their soulmate string and George could feel the gentlest tug on his own pinky. Without thinking, he tugged back, and Karl looked up in surprise. George cringed when he saw his red-rimmed eyes and flushed nose, raising a hand to wave at him.
“I didn’t, uh, give you a hug hello,” George said and Karl shrugged.
“You don’t have to-!”
“Give me a hug, Karl.”
Karl huffed a laugh, pulling away from Sapnap and bouncing to George’s side. He hugged George lightly, clearly not sure if it was what he actually wanted, and he clung back to Karl as much as he could. His friend startled, surprised, then giggled. He hugged him tighter, leaning back so George was forced up onto his tiptoes, and George spluttered.
“Karl!”
“You’re so tiny! Oh my gosh!” Karl pitched up his voice into a squeal, clearly trying to rile George up, and for a moment, everything felt easy.
George did love Karl, even if not like that. He was easy to be around, easy to talk to, and easy to touch. He adored being around him. Karl was cheerful and sweet, teasing and reassuring in turn. He could tear a friend to pieces if it was funny, but he was just as talented at building a friend’s ego up with compliments. He was flirty in a way that was amusing rather than scary, awkward and bumbling at the best of times, and he lit up any room he stepped into. If he had to choose a soulmate, Karl wouldn’t be his first choice, but he wasn’t a bad option. He trusted Karl to be careful with him.
When George finally wrestled his way out of Karl’s grip, he realized that Dream and Sapnap had vacated the room. Knowing them, they were probably listening in around the corner, but George shook the thought off.
“Uh. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” George said, fumbling. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. I didn’t mean to give you a panic attack, so I think we’re pretty even.” Karl shrugged with a happy-sad little smile and George’s shoulders slumped.
“I’m sorry for more than just that. I know- you- I’m sorry.” I’m sorry it’s me. I’m sorry that you’re stuck with me and not the fairy tale ending you wanted. I’m sorry I can’t love you the way you want me to. Words he couldn’t say, but Karl seemed to understand from his bittersweet look and soft eyes.
“George, it’s okay. Honestly, this is a relief.” Karl giggled, tucking his own hair behind one ear. “I’m glad it’s you. I’m glad you don’t want to date me.”
What? “What?”
“I don’t really talk about it, but like.” Karl waved his hands around as he fell silent, trying to think of how to express himself. “I do like romance. I like the thought of being someone’s boyfriend but it’s really anxiety-inducing, you know? Because I’m not…”
Karl trailed off, his hands clasping together. George gently nudged him to the couch, pushing him back until he sat down, and Karl tugged George down to sit with him. It was easy to press their sides together, soak up the warmth Karl gave off even as they spoke about something serious.
“I’m glad it’s you because you won’t expect things from me that I can’t give,” Karl said, voice quiet, and George blinked. He almost understood what Karl was saying, something in the back of his mind latching onto some connection, but he didn’t have enough neurons firing after his anxiety attack to process the implication fully. Karl gave a nervous giggle and finally just blurted out what he meant. “Sex. I mean, like, you’re not going to be looking for sex. Which is good because I really really do not want to have sex.”
Oh. George’s eyebrows raised. Oh.
Maybe Karl’s anxieties were more similar to his than he realized.
“No, I’d never expect that from you,” George replied. “I would rather die, I think.”
Karl laughed more genuinely at that, eyes squeezing shut. “God, same. You have no idea how much that idea frightened me growing up. My mom told me that you had to have sex to have a kid with someone and I cried.”
“I did the same thing!” George raised a hand to his mouth, covering it as he chuckled. “I just wanted to be a dad, I didn’t want to get married or have sex or anything, I just wanted to have a kid. Learning that adoption was an option was like, one of my favorite days when I was a kid.”
“Yes! Exactly!” Karl bounced the side of his hand off of his thigh, still grinning too wide to open his eyes. “It took me way too long to realize why I hated the thought of conceiving, honestly. I was like, ‘of course I like sex, who doesn’t, but I don’t want to have sex, nuh-uh.’ I didn’t even know if I wanted kids back then, but I always made sure everyone knew I was going to adopt because it was just such a better option.”
“Do you want kids?” George asked, looking at Karl, and he watched as his soulmate’s cheeks flushed red. He felt his own warm as he processed his question. “Uh, not like- I mean- not now, but if we’re soulmates it’s good to be like, aware of each other’s plans.”
Karl bit his lip, fighting off giggles until he was able to properly meet George’s eyes. His grin was toothy and his tone was teasing. “Yeah, I want kids when I’m older. Probably when I’m closer to 30 though, I’m too busy at the moment to properly watch kids. Why, do you wanna be my househusband?”
There was a jolt in George’s chest and Karl’s eyes went wide.
“Wait! Platonically. Platonic househusband, I know you don’t wanna like, date, or be QPPs or anything. I understand, I don’t expect that from you. I was kidding, don’t-!”
“QPPs?” George interrupted, brow creasing at the unfamiliar term, and Karl nodded.
“Yeah. You know, queerplatonic partners. It’s like, some aromantic people don’t want to romantically date someone, but they still want that deep partnership with someone. Platonically dating, I guess.” Karl tilted his head, frowning. “I dunno if I’m explaining that properly. I’m not aromantic. Not that like, aro people are the only people who can have queerplatonic partners, I think it’d be sweet to have one but-”
“That’s an option?” George’s mind was reeling, staring at Karl as his soulmate paused in his prattling. George thought about how badly he always wanted a partner without the strings of romance holding him down, tangling him in a web that he couldn’t wriggle out of. Suddenly, it was like Karl was offering him a pair of scissors to free himself.
“Yeah, of course it is. Aren’t you aromantic? I thought you would’ve known that.” Karl gave him one of his winning smiles and George shook his head.
“I don’t really engage much in… any of that.” George idly spun the single black ring he wore as he thought. It was a gift from Karl a few months ago after his friend explained why he wore one himself and George expressed interest in it. George had said he wasn’t a ring person, then proceeded to wear it every day regardless. It was light enough that he barely noticed, the plain black went with everything even if George cared about fashion, and Dream liked playing with it. “Only what you’ve told me, honestly.”
“Well, do QPPs appeal to you at all?” Karl’s face bloomed with the slightest blossom of hope, trying to fight down the expression and failing fantastically. George felt fondness flood through him.
“It’s just like… dating without the romance?”
“If that’s what you want. QPPs are pretty loose, there are no real rules.” Karl’s hand fell onto his own, rubbing his thumb against George’s ace ring. “Some people treat their QPPs like a friend. Others treat them entirely like romantic partners. Some people even have sex with them, though I doubt that’s what you’re looking for.”
“Ew.” George’s face broke out into a grin when Karl laughed at his flat response. He laced their fingers together, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought. “So you can like, cuddle and kiss your QPP? Share a bed or whatever?”
“We could even get married if you want,” Karl replied. George wanted to make a jab at him for assuming George was asking for them in particular, but the hopeful look on his face was too cute to ruin. He gave a huff of amusement and that was enough for Karl to turn pink. “Hypothetical partners could get married, I mean.”
“Do you wanna get married?” George snickered at the stunned look on Karl’s face. “Not now. Obviously. We should try this out first, not just jump the gun. But eventually, when you’re closer to 30 and want those kids.”
Karl was silent for a moment, staring at him, then he lit up with a 100-watt grin, brighter than any of the smiles he had given him so far. George’s heart stuttered in his chest. “Yes! Yeah. You wanna try this? You wanna be QPPs, Georgie?”
“Yeah, I do.” George squeezed Karl’s hand, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. Flowers bloomed in his heart at the soft giggle Karl replied with. “I’d like nothing more.”