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In the eyes of little Keiji, the legend of soulmates was special and fascinating, listening to his grandmother tell him how a red thread bound two souls eternally warmed his heart and made him hope and believe in that little gift of destiny; seeing his grandmother happy with his grandfather made him happy, he wanted the same happiness for himself too.
When he turned 12, the little thread appeared around his little finger, only he could see it, he was so happy, he couldn't wait to find his soulmate, but that happiness was quickly replaced; the situation at home was not the best, his parents quarreled constantly and now that he was no longer a child, his father did not hesitate to raise his hands to his mother in front of him.
He was terrified, he didn't want his soulmate to be like his father, he didn't want the same life as his mother, if he had such a fate he preferred to be alone.
One night, after yet another quarrel between his parents, he made up his mind, he looked at his hand and painfully tore off the red thread, saw it dissolve into shreds as tears fell down his face, mentally apologized to his grandmother, he wouldn't reached the happiness he had promised her.
...
The bell woke him from his thoughts, it was not uncommon for Akaashi to remember that night especially when the speech of the soulmates was the protagonist among his classmates.
"AGAASHI!"
A familiar voice woke him completely, Bokuto had rushed into his class ready to have lunch together.
"Bokuto-san" he smiled at the two-tone.
"Lunch?"
"Lunch."
Keiji got up and walked with Bokuto to the schoolyard, under the usual cherry tree now bare for the autumn season.
"Hey Kaashi"
"Mh?" He replied as he ate an onigiri.
"What do you think of soulmates?"
He almost choked at that question, they were talks that Koutaro didn't do often, honestly they had never talked about it in almost two years.
"I don't know, I think it's nice?"
"You think? You've already found your own?"
"No." He didn't want to tell about when he broke the thread. "You?"
"Mmh..I don't have one." Bokuto smiled bitterly.
"What do you mean?" Keiji was now curious, he had turned to look at Bokuto.
"More than not having one I think is dead or something, when I was 13 the thread went gray, from what I heard happens when your soulmate dies."
"Oh...I'm sorry-"
"Don't worry!" Bokuto beamed at him. “You couldn't have known and then I don't care! I think that even if you have a predestined soulmate, this doesn’t imply that you cannot fall in love with someone else! "
Keiji was surprised, he observed Koutaro with his mouth ajar, unable to answer, maybe he was right, he could find love in someone who was not his soulmate.
No, not for me.
He told himself, he had chosen to break the thread, he had no right to steal someone from his soul mate.
"Mmh." He went back to his onigiri. "It's an interesting thought."
"I know, right!?" Bokuto laughed cheerfully before returning to eat.
...
How many years had passed since that day? Four? Maybe five, Keiji has never found a soul mate, but if he was expecting it, having broken the thread he had lost any chance of finding him.
He was sitting on the sofa in his house, revising some work while sipping hot tea; looking at the clock he noticed that it was already 11pm, he wasn't sleepy but he didn't mind the idea of going to bed and reading a book, he closed the laptop, got up and put it away, finished drinking what was left of tea before putting the cup in the sink.
He raised his arms over his head and stretched before going to bed as he was about to turn off the kitchen lights when the ringing of the doorbell caught his attention.
Who could it be at this time?
He went to open the door, he didn’t expect to find himself in front of a Bokuto completely wet from head to toe, he had a dejected expression on his face.
"Bokuto-san?"
"Hey.."
Keiji said nothing, he just observed him before letting him enter the house and close the door.
"Wait a second." Koutaro nodded and Keiji went to get a towel.
When he returned without saying anything he put it on Bokuto's head and started to dry his hair gently, they had known each other for years, he understood when something disturbed the two-tone.
“How about taking a hot bath? There are some of your clothes in my closet you can change to those. " Bokuto nodded.
"Later, if you need it, let's talk okay?" Keiji gently stroked his cheek.
"Thanks." He said before going to the bathroom.
While Koutaro was taking a bath Keiji prepared the clean clothes on the bed, went back to the kitchen and made him a hot chocolate, he knew he preferred it to tea unlike him.
When the two-tone finished washing and dressing he went to the kitchen where he found the raven waiting for him with a steaming cup of chocolate, took it when it was offered to him and enjoyed the warmth that spread over his hands.
"So what happened?"
"Nothing really.."
"Bokuto-san, you came to my house in the rain at 11pm, something must have happened." Bokuto sighed.
"She left me."
"The girl you started dating two weeks ago?"
"Yes!" He sighed in frustration “I'm fed up! She found her soul mate and dumped me, it always ends up like this!"
Keiji observed him, he knew how much Koutaro had tried to be with someone in recent years but always with poor results, the other person at one point found his soulmate and Bokuto was dumped, and Keiji found himself comforting him.
“Bokuto-san, don't you think it's time to stop? I know how much you care about your idea of love beyond a soulmate but- "
"NO!"
"Bokuto-san.."
“Kaashi you can't understand! I don't want to be alone for life! At least you can still find it, I can't! " He pouted.
"I wish it were so.."
"What do you mean?"
Shit.
"Ah.- Nothing really-" he fidgeted.
He didn’t want to tell Bokuto what he had done, having freely chosen to lose his soul mate made him feel guilty, especially towards Bokuto who had lost her without being able to choose.
"Kaashi, I know you lie."
"I'm not lying."
"You're playing with your fingers, you're doing it."
Keiji looked at his hands, he was actually doing it, stopped and hid his hands behind his back.
"It's really nothing."
"Keiji" Bokuto narrowed his gaze putting the raven in awe. "I know you lie to me, come on, there are no secrets between us!"
Akaashi sighed, he knew he had no chance against Bokuto.
"Okay, okay I…" he Swallowed nervously. "I can't find my soul mate, I broke the thread when I was 12."
Bokuto looked at him with wide eyes, he was more than surprised.
"Kaashi why-"
"Listen, I was small and stupid, I was afraid of finding myself in the same situation as my mother, I didn't want a violent soulmate with me." Keiji's face contorted in an expression of frustration and pain at those memories.
Bokuto put the cup down on the counter and walked over to him.
"Hey, it's okay, it doesn't matter." He cupped the raven's face. "You were small and scared, you had every reason to do it."
Keiji remained silent, did not answer, just enjoyed the contact with Bokuto's warm and calloused hands, he had always liked the contact between them, it warmed him and made him feel calm.
"You know..all these years I've always hoped you were my soulmate." The two-tone suddenly said; Keiji's eyes widened in surprise staring at Koutaro's golden ones.
"What-"
"You are the only person who truly understands me, you are always close to me at any time, even now, despite the hour you let me into the house and took care of me"
"Bokuto-san is normal, we're friends-"
"Sure, but, with you it's different...I don't know, you're always the first person that comes to my mind for anything, I think about you all the time"
If before Akaashi was agitated now he was even more, he could feel the blush warming his cheeks; he turned away from Koutaro.
"You shouldn't say these things so lightly.."
“Why Kaashi? That's what I feel, I don't say it lightly."
Keiji hugged his owns arms, his eyes had started to burn, he had never denied himself to have feelings stronger than a simple friendship for the two-tone, but he had chosen not to say anything, Bokuto deserved better.
"I- Please stop, don't feed my hopes" Warm tears came out of the raven's eyes and Bokuto could feel his heart breaking at that sight.
"No Keiji please don't cry-" He walked over to the raven and cupped his face wiping away his tears. "See you like this kills me, I didn't want to make you cry"
"I-it's not your fault I'm the- I'm sorry...I must look really stupid right now."
"No! Not at all, you're beautiful, even if you're crying.” Keiji's cheeks turned red for the compliment. "You are so important to me, I really want to try Kaashi"
"Bokuto-san.."
"Will you give me this chance?" Bokuto's golden eyes were fading into Akaashi's blue ones.
Keiji wanted him, he wanted so badly to give him that chance, but he was still hesitant as he saw Koutaro's eyes become shiny, was for him that he was about to cry?
Do I really deserve him? Am I enough for him?
"Am I really okay for you, Bokuto-san?"
"Kaashi, you will always be the most important person in my life."
Those simple words were enough to make his heart melt, they made him feel light, for the first time he felt truly at peace with himself.
"Okay Bokuto-san, I trust you." Bokuto's eyes lit up and without thinking twice he kissed the raven's lips.
The electric discharge that they felt go through their body was indescribable, a sensation never felt before, it seemed that everything was perfect, that everything was going as it always should.
As their lips parted they stared at each other wide-eyed, surprised at what they had feel.
"Bokuto-san-"
"Keiji" Bokuto called him, he was staring at their hands “H-hands-"
Keiji looked at him confused before looking at the hands of both, his eyes widened when he saw a red thread that united them.
"W-what- How is it possible, I broke mine ten years ago and yours-"
"It was you..It was always you!" This time it was Bokuto's eyes that filled with tears. "W-Was that why my thread was gray, because you broke yours"
Keiji still looked incredulous at the thread that united them, he felt so stupid, how many years he had lost with Koutaro, if only he hadn’t broken that thread. Tears took hold of him again, this time making him sob like a baby.
"I-if only I hadn't broken it- How much time we have lost-"
"It does not matter!" Bokuto put their foreheads together and squeezed their hands together. "Finally I found you."
"Yes, You found me." They both smiled.
Keiji felt complete, he had never experienced that sensation in his life, a constant warmth on his skin, he felt as if the broken melody of his life had finally been taken and made a symphony.
In the end he had kept his promise, he achieved the happiness he so desired when he was still a child and he couldn't have asked for a better love than he felt for Koutaro.