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His hands were free for the first time in days, but he knew better than to rub at the raw flesh his binds had left behind. He knew better than to say anything at all. Instead, he blindly followed his handlers down the long dark hallway, knowing he had no other choice.
“The Winter Soldier program has finally begun showing results.”
The other doctor scoffed. “After nearly seventy years.”
“Come now, Hans. You cannot expect perfection overnight.”
“True enough. I suppose we should be grateful perfection happened within our lifetimes.”
There was a quiet chuckle of agreement and The Asset’s heart sunk in his chest. His entire body tensed, readying for the hit that he knew was coming. Laughter of any kind never spelled anything good for him, and he’d learned long ago there was no escaping.
Yet… the hit never came. Instead, the two scientists fell silent as they led him through the flickering lights and into the room at the end of the dark hallway. As the three men and the handful of guards stepped into the room, fluorescent lights flicked on, nearly blinding The Asset after having spent so long in the dark. The scientists hardly paid any attention to his discomfort as they led him past dozens of the same cryopods he was so familiar with. His mouth ran dry and he felt his heart start racing at the thought of being shoved back inside one of them. Tears threatened to well in his eyes and he furiously blinked them back, desperate not to show weakness in front of his captors. He would find no friends here, and tears would only hurt him more in the end.
It took everything he had to continue putting one foot in front of the other as he followed them to the end of the row and stopped in front of the last cryopod in the line. Behind him, the guards adjusted their grips on their weapons and he knew that they were preparing for his reaction.
No, he wasn’t getting put into the cryopod, but that meant something much worse was inside.
The Asset watched, frozen in place, as the two scientists grinned at one another and then turned their rabid attention to him. “Asset, meet your new partner.”
They flung open the cryopod and his entire body jolted in a lethal combination of shock and horror because the face staring back at him was… yours.
Bucky jolted upright in bed, panting heavily as his heart tried to make a break for it right out of his chest. His body was acting automatically and without his control as he flung a hand out to your side of the bed, searching for you. His panic only grew stronger when he felt the cold sheets beside him.
Not here. You weren’t here.
Bucky practically tripped on his face in his haste to get out of bed. The sheets tangled around his legs and he ripped them apart with a powerful kick of his legs. He scrambled to the bathroom, praying you were inside as he screamed your name.
Not here! You weren’t damn here!
Bucky was still screaming your name as he turned and made for the door. He was reaching for it, ready to tear it off it’s damn hinges, but before he could so much as touch it, it was flung open and you appeared, wild-eyed as you swung a gun around, searching for the threat.
Bucky didn’t give you any time to orient yourself as he flung himself at you and wrapped you up in his arms so tightly, he could hear your ribs squeaking in protest. “You’re here. You’re safe. They don’t have you.” He repeated it over and over to himself, switching between Russian and English as he stroked a hand through your hair and buried his face in your shoulder.
It took your brain a long second to catch up to the situation, tired as it was, but eventually, you lowered your gun and carefully reached up to wrap your arms around Bucky, squeezing him just as tightly as you could. “I’m here. I’m safe. You got out. HYDRA’s dead and buried. Steve’s a bastard. Sam’s a wimp. I’m still scared of Nat.”
As your ramblings turned from comforting to downright absurd, Bucky couldn’t help himself as he let out a small chuckle and pulled away just enough that he could cup your face in his hands and stare down at you with all the love and adoration he possessed. “Steve’s a bastard?” He asked.
You nodded and hummed in agreement.
“Sam’s a wimp?”
You nodded more firmly to that one and leaned into Bucky’s touch.
“You’re scared of Nat?” Bucky’s lips curled into a half-a-grin.
Your eyes slid shut as he stroked his thumbs under your eyes gently and you sighed with pleasure at the sensation. “What? She gives me a run for my money. I think you’d have to be an idiot not to be scared of her.”
Bucky leaned his forehead against yours, his hands slipping from your face and down your body to wrap around your waist. He pulled you tightly against him and leaned his cheek against the top of your head as he slowly swayed with you from side to side, dancing to a silent tune he could faintly remember from a past he’d left behind.
As the two of you danced in the moonlight streaming through the blinds, you lost yourself in the sensation of his heartbeat, listening to it slow until it was beating at its resting pace once again. It was your favorite sound in the world and you fully blamed it for lulling you into a false sense of security.
You were so relaxed, dancing in Bucky’s arms, you forgot where you were for a second, and that was all it took. As your hands relaxed against him, the gun slipped through your fingers and thudded against the floor. Your eyes sprang open wide as your own sense of panic took over and you felt Bucky freeze against you. Time seemed to slow as he slowly turned his head to look behind him.
The moon stopped being romantic the second it glinted off the smooth metal of your nine millimeter. The one you weren’t supposed to have. The one that you’d been training with behind Bucky’s back.
Bucky was painfully and suspiciously quiet as his arms fell away from you. Your brain finally wised up to the danger you were in and you took a few cautious steps backwards as Bucky squatted down to pick up your weapon.
You licked your lips as his fingers ran over it carefully and then he turned his attention to you, an accusing glint in his eyes.
“I… I heard you screaming… and… I thought…” Damn your inability to think of something reasonable on the fly.
Bucky pushed to his feet and took a towering step closer to you as you stammered. Carefully, he reached around you and flicked the lights on in the bedroom, ignoring your wince as the sudden light blinded you briefly. His eyes were too busy locked to your body, taking in everything. All the bruises and the grime. He’d seen those injuries enough to know exactly what they were from and his jaw ticked in fury. “Who?” He growled.
You winced and shook your head. “It’s no big deal, baby, it’s just…”
Bucky took another step towards you, practically shaking with a fury that was only just barely disguising the pure unadulterated fear coursing through his veins.
It only took one look into his eyes for you to know it, too. “It was Steve.” You said softly, praying that Steve would be able to handle himself for what you knew would come next. “Just go easy on him, huh? It was my idea.”
“Bullshit.” Bucky ground out, stomping out of the apartment. He slammed the door behind him, rattling the walls.
You sank onto the bed and buried your face in your hands.
Bucky fingers were nearly crushing his phone as he leaned against the ledge of the roof of your building, waiting for the punk to pick up his damn call.
“Buck… before you say anything-” Steve started without even saying hello. He knew what this was about.
“I told you I didn’t want her anywhere near this.” Bucky seethed. Steve sighed.
“Buck… she needs to know how to defend herself.”
“You taught her how to use a gun, punk.”
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and shot an apologetic smile in Sam’s direction before he threw him right under the bus. “Technically, Sam taught her to shoot. I just taught her everything else.”
The screen on Bucky’s phone made an audible crunching sound as it splintered. “You let Wilson of all people teach my girl how to shoot a gun?” Bucky’s voice was deadly calm. Never a good sign.
Steve sighed again. “Who else should I have asked, jerk? You’ve always said I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.”
“And I stand by that, but… Wilson?!”
“Buck…” Steve let out a long sigh. He’d been over this and over this with Bucky, but the ex-assassin had refused to see reason every time. In the end, Steve hadn’t felt like he had any other choice than to go behind his back to train you. “If you want her in this world, Buck, she needs to be trained. I know you worry about her and I know you want to be the one to protect her, but you can’t be there all the time. No matter how much you try. She needs to know the basics, or she might not survive this world. I’ve already lost you once, pal. Don’t ask me to lose you again. If there’s anything I can do to keep you around, I’m going to do it. Even if it means training your girl because I know you wouldn’t survive without her.”
Bucky tipped his head forward and pressed it against the arm he had leaning against the railing. “I can’t lose her, Stevie.” He whispered softly, his anger fleeing him.
A half a dozen miles away, Steve nodded his head in sympathy. “I know, Buck. That’s why I’ve been teaching her how to take care of herself. If you ever managed to pull your head out of your rear, you could come down and see her. She’s a force to be reckoned with.”
A quick grin tilted up the corner of Bucky’s lips and he let out a breath that was almost a laugh. “I bet, punk.” He paused for a moment before he continued. “Thank you for keeping sane this once while I couldn’t. But, let’s get one thing straight. I’m paying back every single bruise I saw on her today and then some next time we spar.”
Steve laughed and let the tension riding him bleed out of his shoulders. “I would expect nothing less, Barnes.” He teased. “Now go back to your girl. She’s blowing up Sam’s phone.”
Bucky hung up and let out a long breath as he stared out across the sleeping city. He took a minute to collect himself and his thoughts before he nodded, and headed back downstairs to where you were anxiously waiting.
Your head shot up the second Bucky came through the front door and you scrambled out of the burrito of blankets you’d wrapped yourself in so you could go to him. “Baby, I’m so, so sorry I didn’t tell you what I was up to. It’s just that…”
Bucky shook his head and pressed his metal fingers against your lips, cutting you off. “Steve explained.” He said wryly, holding up the crushed hunk of metal that was barely still functioning. There were finger shaped indents in the metal that would have made you laugh under normal circumstances. “It took him a minute to calm me down.”
You nodded slowly as you pried your attention away from the phone and back to Bucky. “I never meant to hurt you.” You whispered. You couldn’t get the memory of the look on his face right before he stomped out of the apartment out of your head. You knew that his objections to your training went deep, and you really hadn’t meant to hurt him.
Bucky nodded. “Come here, sweetheart.” He said, drawing you in close so he could lean his forehead against the top of your head. It was almost like no time had passed at all as he easily slipped back into the swaying sort of dance he’d been moving you in before everything had gone to hell. For a moment the two of you just swayed in silence and then, Bucky whispered against your hair; “I’m not angry, sweetheart.”
You squeezed your eyes shut. “Just disappointed, right? You know that’s worse?”
Bucky chuckled softly but shook his head. “I’m not disappointed either.” He fell silent again, but his words relaxed you enough that you let yourself doze lightly against his chest as he held you tightly to him.
You didn’t know if it was hours or just minutes later when you finally felt the wheels turning in Bucky’s head finally click into place. You sighed and stepped away from Bucky, though you kept one of his hands in yours as you led him to the couch. Bucky let you lead him there, but he pulled you into his embrace until the two of you were settled comfortably on the couch before he finally spoke the words he needed to say.
“I never wanted you in this world, doll. In my world.”
You opened your mouth to call him out on that, but he pressed his fingers to your lips again. “Please, just let me finish.”
There was something just desperate enough in his voice that you nodded your head slowly and leaned back against him.
Bucky took a deep breath and let it out as he started playing with your hair. “My world… it’s been nothing but bloodshed and violence for almost seventy years. I never wanted that for you. You’re... Well, doll, there’s no other way for me to say it. You’re my everything. But I’ve seen what the world out there does to people like you and I can’t… The thought of something happening to you… I wouldn’t…” Bucky stammered, struggling to find the words to express just how much you meant to him and just how lost he’d be without you.
You didn’t need to hear him say it out loud, though. You knew with every action that he loved you more than you thought you could comprehend. And you knew what he was really trying to say. “You don’t like the idea of me training because you don’t like the idea of me in danger. I know, baby. I do.”
Bucky let out a shuddering sigh and pressed his forehead against your temple. “ I’m supposed to protect you.”
You chuckled and reached up a hand to his face, keeping him pressed against you. “It’s the twenty-first century, baby. I can take care of myself. Besides, you can’t be here all the time. The team needs you.”
Bucky grumbled under his breath and practically turned into a purring kitten as he cuddled you up in his arms. “They can get someone else.”
You laughed. “Steve would miss you.”
“Steve’s an asshole.” Bucky grunted.
“Awww! Don’t say that! He’s cute.”
Bucky let out a real growl then, and before you know it, you’d been swept up into his arms. You yelped as you smacked against his chest but Bucky didn’t give you time to recover before he was stalking towards the bedroom. “I’ll show you who’s cute.”
You grinned a mischievous grin against his shoulder where he couldn’t see and let him lead you away. You knew that Bucky would always hate that he’d dragged you into his world, but you also knew that you’d carved your place there in stone. He couldn’t shake you now if he tried.
You let him throw you on the bed and reached up, pulling him down on top of you. The two of you lost yourself in each other as the moon slipped away and the early morning light spilled across the carpet.
Hours later, as Bucky slept beside you, you found found yourself stroking the bare skin of his back trying to think your way through the one other tiny little bit of a secret you’d forgotten to mention last night.
Only a few feet away, and in the other room, the thick paper of official stationary sat guilty on the kitchen island. On the top of the paper in bold font was spelled out;
“Congratulations on being accepted to SWORD, Special Agent Y/N Barnes.”