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“This is the best pain I’ve ever been through”, Taehyung mutters to his pillow, damp from where his mouth was open and drooling. “Except when you spank me. That’s also good”
From the desk, Jeongguk splutters, turning around to glare at Taehyung with his ears a violent pink.
“Shut up”, he grumbles, closing the water bottle and coming to stand beside the bed. “You’re so annoying”.
“And you’re so cuteee”, Taehyung drawls, turning on his side so he can see Jeongguk better. It’s a bad idea, since his arm is very tender from being vaccinated just this morning. Sharp pain climbs up the nerves, and Taehyung whines, face twisting in discomfort as his arm throbs. He hears Jeongguk sigh, the younger leaning down.
“Careful”, he chastises, gently, so gently, turning Taehyung on his back. His touch is feather light, aware that even the minor jostlement will hurt the sensitive skin, and Taehyung’s heart warms with love for the boy. “Don’t move too much, you're gonna hurt yourself”.
“I know, mom”, Taehyung grumbles just to be a brat. He grins, settling against the huge pile of pillows that Jeongguk placed for him. “I know, dad. Daddy. Please don’t punish me, daddy. I promise I’ll be good, daddy”.
Jeongguk gives him a flat stare.
“You’re not nearly as cute as you think you are”, he sniffs. Taehyung just smirks wider, lids heavy and the beginnings of tiredness sneaking up to his muscles.
“I’m cuter, I know. God, Gguk, you’re so in love with me it’s embarrassing. You’re embarrassing”.
“Weren’t you going to sleep?”, Jeongguk snaps, but still fluffs up the pillows he thinks are too limp, bunching them up so Taehyung can experience the maximum of comfort as he naps. The older man’s smile turns softer, mellowing at the edges when he notices the concentrated furrow of Jeongguk’s brow. “I thought being vaccinated would tire you out, but I guess I’m not so lucky”.
“Jeez, tough crowd”, Taehyung says half-heartedly, struggling to keep his eyes open. He’d woken up at 7 AM, too anxious to fall back asleep, chattering a hundred miles per hour as a bleary-eyed, messy-haired, morning-breath Jeongguk sat on the bed, too catatonic to talk back. Taehyung had dragged him to a lukewarm shower, bouncing on his toes as they got ready to go to the health clinic of their district. Jeongguk had to sit him down twice, first to remind him of his ID and later to stop a frantic Taehyung from walking out of the apartment without his mask. Finally, Jeongguk had to walk with his hand intertwined with Taehyung’s so the older boy didn’t accidentally walk into traffic out of excitement. Not that he was complaining.
When Taehyung received his vaccine confirmation document, he held it with the utmost respect and amazement, nagging at Jeongguk when the younger unceremoniously shoved it into their bag. However, Jeongguk couldn’t help but melt into an endeared, loving puddle as Taehyung excitedly gave him his phone and asked him to take a picture so he could send it to his parents, practically vibrating as the kind nurse wiped his arm and applied the shot. Jeongguk is pretty sure his heart grew twice its size when Taehyung looked at the camera with crinkled, shiny eyes that betrayed the huge smile taking over his face underneath the mask.
“I can’t believe it, Gguk, I’m vaccinated”, Taehyung had gushed on their way back home, happily swinging their interlocked arms. “Fucking finally. Don’t be jealous, baby, your time will come, it’s not the government fault you’re practically a fetus”.
Jeongguk wanted to voice that he wasn’t jealous, but he decided to let Taehyung have this, just this once. Be a mature boyfriend and all.
Now, as he watches the older boy fall into a content, if not painful, sleep, Jeongguk feels grateful for being able to be by Taehyung’s side as he takes a step towards a normalcy they almost forgot what it looks like, even if they both crave it every time they wake up to another stagnant day. To have the opportunity to share Taehyung’s excitement and happiness, moments that Before he’d taken for granted, but Now they’ve become so rare and special, it makes him feel a little weepy. Call him a crybaby, but he’s maybe happier about seeing Taehyung safe than about his own vaccine day (circled in pink marker on their fridge because Taehyung said that every step should be celebrated).
He’s happy, yes, until Taehyung wakes up from his nap with scalding hot skin and hazy eyes.
“Gguk?”, the older boy calls from the bed, followed by a dry cough that makes Jeongguk wince from where he’s sitting by the desk. Jeongguk practically runs back to Taehyung’s side, worry etched in his features as he takes in the way his boyfriend is fittifully trying to wrap the covers tighter around himself. “m’ cold”.
Jeongguk throws another blanket on top of the boy, but Taehyung doesn’t stop shivering, burrowing himself deeper into the warm cocoon. Jeongguk presses the back of his hand to his forehead, lips pursed as he feels the hot, moist skin.
“You have a fever”, he says uselessly. “Shit, I hoped you wouldn’t feel anything. Here, can you sit?”.
Taehyung feebly shakes his head in denial, but with enough of Jeongguk’s gentle coaxing, he drags himself to fully sit up against the pillows. When Jeongguk gets up to grab a thermometer from their measly med kit, Taehyung whines in complaint, scared of being left alone as his brain feels like it’s melting in his skull, turning into soup. His body prickles with the uncomfortable dichotomy of having cold shivers on the inside, but being hot and sweaty on the outside, his system at war with itself as the vaccine starts to take effect. He wants to kick the blankets away, even though he knows it’s gonna be worse if he does, his body needing the warmth. Taehyung is so busy being miserable he almost doesn’t notice Jeongguk snaking a hand down his shirt and putting the thermometer in his armpit.
“We can do a quickie if you want”, he mumbles, not really thinking straight as the younger boy huffs.
“Stop that. Here, drink this”, Jeongguk raises a water bottle to his chapped lips, and Taehyung drinks eagerly, only now noticing how parched he truly is. The cold, almost freezing water, slides down his scratchy throat like nectar, cooling him down enough to bring short relief to his foggy, muddled brain. “Open your mouth”.
Taehyung obediently sticks his tongue out and Jeongguk pops an Ibuprofen on it, giving him more water. Swallowing is such a hard task Taehyung almost asks for Jeongguk to crush the pill and give it to him, but he manages after a few seconds of psyching himself up.
“I’m sorry”, he says, scooting down on the bed and fiddling with the blankets. “For being sick”.
Jeongguk stares at him with patient, kind eyes, pushing Taehyung’s sweaty hair out of his forehead and leaning down to kiss the feverish skin. Taehyung wants to cry.
“Stop it”, Jeongguk whispers, lips moving soothingly against his skin. “Let me take care of you. We’re a team, okay? If one of us is down, the other looks out for him”.
Taehyung sniffs, eyes watering. His head pounds with the fever, leaving everything in his field of vision weird and distorted, almost oversaturated like an Instagram filter, but he still tries to look at Jeongguk’s face.
“Don’t leave me”, he whines dramatically. Jeongguk smiles down at him, the bunny-teeth Taehyung loves more than anything on the planet pressing down on his bottom lip.
“Never”, Jeongguk promises, raising Taehyung’s hand and kissing it. “I’m gonna scoot you over, okay?”.
“Kay”, Taehyung frowns as he is lightly pushed on the bed, his entire body pulsating with hurt, like an open wound from head to toe. Even his hair hurts, head throbbing as pain spreads around, taking over his everything. “I’m sorry”, he says again for good measure.
“Shut up”, Jeongguk replies. He brings Taehyung back, fitting their bodies together in an effort to stop the trembling with body heat. Taehyung immediately melts into his touch, molding his limbs around Jeongguk’s, leg thrown over his hip and uninjured arm coming up to tangle around his nape. Taehyung buries his face on Jeongguk’s chest, fitting his lips on the crook of his neck, the place so perfectly fitting, as if Jeongguk was cast from a mold created particularly for moments like these, when Taehyung wants to fuse their bodies until they have no recollection of the outside world. Jeongguk’s pulse is comforting on his skin, the slow, soprano choir grounding Taehyung into their bubble, protected and more comfortable than ever. His eyes fall shut again, too weak to be awake for more than a few minutes at a time, especially when Jeongguk scratches his scalp just right, sweetness pouring from the gesture and covering Taehyung until his fever seems almost like a second-thought. “I can feel you fighting to stay awake, Tae”, Jeongguk murmurs, thumb lovingly grazing Taehyung’s cheek. “Go back to sleep”.
“But what if you leave”, Taehyung mumbles back, already surrendering to the darkness, sleep tugging insistently at his sleeve.
“I won’t”, Jeongguk presses a tender kiss his head, not minding the sweat in the slightest. “I will be here when you wake up, don’t worry”.
“I trust you”, Taehyung says, then slips away, the medicine mixed with exhausting an enemy too great for him to challenge. Jeongguk keeps still, waiting as Taehyung’s breathing deepens, his body laxing from the tight grip on the younger boy. When he’s sure he’s not gonna bother Taehyung, Jeongguk twists his arm and grabs his phone from the bedside table, opening Kakao and sending an update to their friends, asking if they have tips on lowering a fever. After only ten seconds, Jeongguk’s phone rings, and he fumbles with his hurry to answer it, throwing the boy beside him a worried glance. Taehyung is dead to the world, grumbling incomprehensibly in his sleep.
“What”, Jeongguk hisses at the speaker. “You almost woke him up”.
“How is he?”, Jimin asks, ignoring Jeongguk. Rude. “Is he sleeping? Is he okay?”.
“Yeah, he’s fine”, Jeongguk relaxes, gently petting Taehyung’s hair, tucking the dark strands behind his ear. “It’s because he got vaccinated today. I gave him some Ibuprofen, and it knocked him out”.
“Oh no, my baby”, Jimin mourns. Jeongguk hears sheets rustling and the distant, low voice of Yoongi saying something he can’t understand. “Hyung says to give him orange juice when he wakes up, to hydrate the body. And to not give him tea because it’ll warm him up more, and it’ll just make him more uncomfortable”.
“Okay”, Jeongguk says, nodding as Jimin lists the precautions he’s got to take. When the elder starts giving him instructions on how to make cold compresses, Jeongguk interrupts. “I can’t get up, don’t wanna leave him”.
Jimin is quiet for a moment, then he lets out a fake cry so piercing Jeongguk has to remove the phone from his ear to stop himself from going deaf.
“Y’all are so cute”, Jimin pretends to sob, much to Jeongguk’s embarrassment. “You’re so sweet, Ggukkie, of course you’re gonna take good care of him, you’re so in love and Tae is your baby, oh my God, I love your love”.
“Okay”, Jeongguk says loudly, then winces, but Taehyung just snores. “I’m hanging up now. Thanks for the help”.
“Bye, text if you need anything”.
Jeongguk drops the phone back on the bedside table, turning around so he can hug Taehyung the way he deserves to be hugged, every inch of them touching. Jeongguk sighs, feeling rather drowsy himself, thinking that this is where he belongs, with his heart close and breathing softly next to him, being held in his arms. Before losing conscience, Jeongguk thinks that no one, not even the strongest man on the planet, could ever rip them apart.
He is woken up half an hour later by someone touching his face, hand heavy on his forehead, a finger tracing down his nose. He doesn’t need to open his eyes to know that Taehyung is ogling at him. The bed feels suffocating, so hot Jeongguk shimmies out of his pants without letting go of the other man.
“How are you feeling?”, he asks, eyes still closed, hand coming up to hug protectively around Taehyung’s nape.
“You’re so pretty”, Taehyung breathes instead, weakly patting his cheek. “Your skin is so good. Remember when you had bad skin? You hated it but I didn’t even notice, you were so cute. You’re still cute, with your cute mouth and cute eyes and cute nose and cute mole, right here”, Taehyung presses down on the mole on his chin, his touch inaccurate enough to let Jeongguk know he’s not really too aware of what he’s doing. Jeongguk opens his eyes to find Taehyung frowning, lips downturned, as if Jeongguk’s cuteness is personally offensive to his religion. “You’re so cute it hurts. Adorable. Bunny. My cute bunny. My cute baby bunny, mine only and no one else’s, my, my, my”, Taehyung spits fiercely, as if he’s scared of someone coming into their home and stealing Jeongguk away. Even his grip tightens, his legs possessive as they clamp around Jeongguk’s.
The younger man lets out a laugh, not resisting the temptation of kissing Taehyung’s nose, his cheek, and each of his eyelids.
“I’m yours”, he confirms, to which Taehyung hums in agreement, relaxing.
“I know”, Taehyung seems deep in thought, his eyes veiled with a cloudy, delirious tinge that fills Jeongguk with concern. He’s only ever seen this particular look in a very different context, when they’re naked and intertwined and Taehyung screams out in pleasure he can’t contain inside of him. Seeing the same appearance caused by genuine fever worries him.
He’s in the middle of debating how he’s gonna untangle Taehyung from him to make a quick run in the kitchen when the older man pokes his chest.
“Gguk”, he says seriously, eyes half-lidded.
“Yeah? Do you need anything? I’m gonna grab some juice, wait…”.
“Do you love me?”, Taehyung blurts out, stopping Jeongguk from getting up. Jeongguk looks at him with incredulous eyes.
“Of course I love you”, he says, confused. Taehyung doesn’t seem satisfied, gathering all of his strength to sit up and try to make eye contact with Jeongguk, even if his vision swims and turns.
“How much do you love me?”, he asks again, as if he’s never heard any of Jeongguk’s embarrassing, cheesy confessions throughout the years.
“Guess”, Jeongguk says, still not catching on the fact that arguing with someone feverish is kinda dumb.
“Much”.
“That’s right”, Jeongguk kisses Taehyung’s dry mouth, frowning as he leans away. He grabs the half-empty water bottle and tries to leave again, just for Taehyung’s hand to shoot out and grab his arm.
“Okay, but do you love me because we’re boyfriends and you have to love me, or do you love me because of who I am?”.
“That doesn’t even make sense”, Jeongguk laughs, carefully extricating Taehyung’s fingers from him. “You’re my boyfriend because I love you for who you are”.
While Taehyung tries to decipher his words in his dizzy mind, Jeongguk quickly leaves the room and grabs a carton of orange juice from the fridge, coming back in less than two minutes, the thought of leaving Taehyung all defenseless and alone twisting his insides and making him feel like the worst person on the planet. Which is stupid, because Taehyung isn’t even aware enough to notice Jeongguk’s absence, looking up at the ceiling with unfocused eyes.
“Can you drink, baby?”, Jeongguk asks, helping the other man to find the open part. As Taehyung drinks, he takes hold of the thermometer, sighing in relief. “Your temperature is lower, thank God. Are you hungry? Can you eat?”.
Taehyung shakes his head, spilling a bit of orange juice on his chin. Jeongguk takes the carton back, wiggling his sleeve down to clean the mess. Taehyung’s hair looks funny, matted on one side and spiky on the other, but Jeongguk doesn’t laugh out of respect for the situation.
“Feed a cold, starve a fever”, the older man recites so cutely Jeongguk kisses his lips again. “Call me that again”.
“Call you what?”, Jeongguk murmurs, lowering them both once more.
“That”, Taehyung whispers, eyes wide, as if they’re doing something they shouldn’t be. Jeongguk smiles.
“Baby”, he presses his lips on Taehyung’s brow. “My baby, my angel. Tae-honey. My Tae-bear, who I love so much. My boyfriend, my love, the light of my life”.
With each word, Taehyung melts more, until he’s pliable and malleable under Jeongguk’s touch. He pushes himself to kiss Jeongguk, their lips fitting together as perfectly as their bodies, more familiar than their own names yet so thrilling it has their toes curling. Jeongguk angles his head, kissing the mouth he loves so dearly harder, capturing the well-defined top lip between his own soft ones. Kissing back is too strong of a description for what Taehyung does, still weak and distant, but he moves his lips with the most enthusiasm he can muster, hands coming up to rest against Jeongguk’s sturdy chest. They kiss for long, uncounted minutes, so warm and cozy, almost chaste as Jeongguk is careful to not pressure Taehyung beyond what he’s capable of right now. Nor does he want to. Kissing like this, light touches and eyes open as they look at each other with three words tattooed on their irises, is as intimate as when they’re tangled together, sweaty and moving with much more vigor. Everything about their relationship is intimate and treasured, even the way Taehyung leans away to moan about how heavy his head feels. Jeongguk can relate, his own heart weighing more than lead, but still floating so lightly inside his ribcage.
“I love you”, he whispers again to Taehyung’s mouth. The older boy smiles, dizzy and flushed and beautiful, his fever receding to make way for something much stronger, much more intense, exclusive for Jeongguk and Jeongguk only. Something as gorgeous as the boy in front of him, with his starry eyes that could never hide anything from him.
“I love you too, my own little nurse”, Taehyung says in a sigh, fiddling with Jeongguk’s ear piercings. “I think I’m better”.
“Really? Want more water?”.
“Yes, please”.
The whole day goes something like this, with Taehyung so soft and pliant and Jeongguk completely at mercy of his whims. Not that it’s an arduous task; Taehyung is so frail that he can’t really be bossing Jeongguk around, prefering to just snuggle up to him as they watch some white romcom on Netflix, sometimes asking for help to drink water or to go to the bathroom, all the liquid he’s drinking having to go somewhere.
“Regretting your vaccine already?”, Jeongguk asks just to tease as Taehyung wobbles back to bed after a bathroom break. He takes the elder in his arms as soon as he comes close enough, sprawling over Jeongguk’s body as if he’s more comfortable than the expensive mattress they saved months to buy.
“Never”, Taehyung answers with a pop, face coming back to its home on the dip of Jeongguk’s shoulder. “This is the best day of life”.
Jeongguk smiles against his dark curls, tightening his hold on the boy until Taehyung is whining and tapping at him to let it go.
“Mine, too. You know, I’m kinda happy the vaccine fucked your body so much. It’s been a long time since we did nothing all day like this”.
“Because you usually can’t sit still and always have to do something”.
“Details. So, what are our plans when we’re both immune next month?”.
As Taehyung’s eyes lighten and he starts to excitedly narrate all of his after-covid fantasies, like going to Jimin’s house and walking Yeontan somewhere that isn’t their condo’s green area, Jeongguk sits back and watches with a glint in his eyes. For the first time in maybe months, hope lets itself grow back inside of him, its timid green leaves fluttering in sync with Taehyung’s lashes.