Work Text:
As a rule, Bakugou didn't like to let his idiot self-proclaimed Bakusquad go out without him or Kirishima. Without fail, something was bound to go wrong. They were entirely too chaotic and there was no one to tell Kaminari his bad ideas were, well, bad.
Which is why they sneaked out, on a Tuesday night of all things, to have a few drinks with one of Sero's friends. It was easy to bypass a sleeping Bakugou and they weren't entirely irresponsible, they told Kirishima though it may have been via text and they may have switched his notifications off earlier in the night.
It should come as no surprise, especially to Bakugou, that disaster struck.
He went about his morning as usual and waited outside Kirishima's door so they could walk to class together. That's where all sense of normal stopped. Kirishima slammed the door open, eyes wild, tie askew, (hair still perfectly in pointed place).
"Bakugou! I didn't know or I would have stopped them. You have to know it's not my fault."
"Breathe, you idiot," Bakugou muttered, raising his hands so he could fix Kirishima's tie. Yes, he had to raise his arms now. Fucker had a growth spurt.
"Bakugoooouuuu, they went out last night and I don't know what they did, the last few messages barely make sense and - "
Bakugou cut him off to grab his phone and noticed it was on dnd. Fuckers must have changed Kirishima’s settings. He opened their group chat.
He grimaced, "whatever it is if it's that bad they must have gone to Aizawa already. I'll go to class, follow behind but stay out the way. If they're not there, go find them."
Kirishima nodded and they rushed to class, Kirishima choosing to fall behind as they got close.
Being a hero meant having to encounter strange situations that you are wholly unprepared for. Still, Bakugou had been through more than his share of trauma. What happened to him when he slammed the door open to class 1A's homeroom was just not fair.
Wrapped up in Aizawa's capture weapon was a wriggling toddler with very ugly yellow hair. His eyes were full of tears and he was dressed in a white t-shirt longer than he was. The second he heard the door bang open, his efforts to escape redoubled.
Aizawa sighed and tried to let down the child because his skin was getting irritated. He jumped out of Aizawa's arms as soon as he was close to the ground and ran full speed at Bakugou.
Now even at full speed, a small child on wobbly legs was not very fast but Bakugou was frozen in place because the toddler was also screaming,
"KACCHAN KACCHAN KACCHAN KACCHAN KACCHAN!"
He catapulted himself at Bakugou and out of instinct, Bakugou caught him. Now he had a 2-year-old crying and slobbering all over his neck. He looked accusingly at Sero, who was stammering that it was an accident to Aizawa.
"We went out to meet my cousin last night, it was an emergency! She hasn't been feeling very well, uh, her quirk went off by accident and Kaminari was right there and well, uh, you see what happened..."
The rest of the students piled into the classroom, all wanting to get up close and personal with a very small Kaminari. Bakugou tried putting him down but he had a death grip around him. He growled and shooed away his classmates, keeping his voice low so Kaminari wouldn't frighten more.
Kirishima had come in with Ashido and from his lack of surprise, it seemed Ashido had filled him in. He wrapped an arm around Bakugou's shoulder and ruffled Kaminari's hair.
"Hey little buddy, it's just me, you wanna say hi?"
Kaminari peeked his eyes out and sniffled, "Kiwisima?"
The class awwed and cooed around them and for a second even Aizawa looked soft.
"Ha, that's adorable! Yes, it's Kirishima. You want me to hold you?"
Tiny hands immediately fisted Bakugou's collar.
"Uh-uh! Kacchan!"
Kirishima looked at Bakugou apologetically. A headache was beginning to form and it wasn't even 9 am. He was going to kill Sero and Ashido.
He bounced Kaminari on one hip and leveled him with a look. "You can stay with me but you'll have to be quiet. I won't fall behind in class because you did something stupid, is that clear?"
Big yellow eyes stared at him. Fucking kid looked doped out.
"Ugh, whatever." Bakugou walked up to Aizawa so they could figure out what happened.
"Right, your cousin, you should call her to get details, Sero," Aizawa looked so done with them.
"Um yeah, I'll just, I'll get her number."
"You'll get your cousin's number?"
"We'll give her a call during lunch, Sensei! It wasn't malicious so I'm sure Kami will be okay." Kirishima intervened.
"Hmm. Who was involved in this?"
Bakugou saw the self-sacrificing look on Kirishima's face. Fuck no. That was not happening.
"Sero, Ashido, and Kaminari. That is all," he said firmly. "Kirishima and I were asleep. You have my word."
Ashido's mouth dropped open. Bakugou scowled. Did she really think there would be no consequences? At Kirishima's nudge, she at least had the decency to look a little ashamed.
Aizawa nodded because unlike the others Bakugou was trustworthy. He preened on the inside.
"You'll obviously be punished for this. I'll deal with Kaminari later but you can start by taking responsibility for him."
Kaminari had been quietly playing with Bakugou's collar but must've understood them because he grabbed the tissue Bakugou had been wiping his snot and tears with and threw it at Sero. It went nowhere near him.
"Sewo bad! I'm no goin widdim!"
Kirishima, a literal angel, stepped in again.
"Denks, can I call you that?" A small nod from Kaminari. "Okay Denks, can you tell me why you're so upset with Sero? He loves you, buddy!"
Kaminari gaped at him like he was crazy. He pulled the t-shirt on him and screamed "UGLY!"
Bakugou burst out laughing. That was priceless. Maybe baby Kaminari and him were going to get along.
Aizawa groaned. "Bakugou, he is clearly most comfortable with you. Kirishima, you may help. Keep an eye on him and if he's unharmed by the end of this, I'll give you both extra credit."
Bakugou held Kaminari up from under his shoulders so they were at eye level. "Be. Good."
Surprisingly, Kaminari behaved. Bakugou had a sneaking suspicion it was because of how close he was allowed to be to Bakugou. But it could have also been that he had Yaoyorozu make him a Pikachu onesie so he didn't have to wear Sero's "ugly" t-shirt.
He stayed on Bakugou's desk, playing with his hair. He eventually went too far and tried to chew on it but Bakugou found him some coloring paper and crayons to focus on instead. Yaoyorozu didn't even have to make those, apparently, Ojiro had some because they helped him relax. The designs were a little complicated for a toddler but Kaminari didn't seem to care much for trying to color in the lines anyway. He did smack Bakugou every five minutes to show him what he was doing and would tear up if Bakugou didn't say “good job”.
Sero snuck in texts between class to track down the number of the girl who'd quirked Kaminari. As soon as classes ended, he called her under Bakugou's supervision.
The quirk was temporary. Would last about 24-48 hours. She wasn't sure if Kaminari retained any adult memories. Kaminari thankfully did not have his own quirk or that would have been a mess. She also didn't know if he'd remember anything after he reverted back. Bakugou thought she was a little useless for knowing so little about her own quirk.
Still, they updated Aizawa Sensei who decided it was best to keep Kaminari in the dorms in case a new variable came into play.
It seemed like the best choice because Kami would not let Bakugou go. If he put him down on the floor, he'd latch on to his leg. If he gave him to Sero, there would be ugly crying. There was a moment they thought Jirou would be acceptable, but after allowing her to hold him for two minutes, he demanded Bakugou again. Kirishima was the only exception. He'd happily sit in his lap while Bakugou went to use the bathroom and then get him some food.
The squad chose to eat on the grounds to avoid sensory overload for baby Kami and so Bakugou could hear details of what happened last night. He chewed them out when he found out Ashido had dared some drunk girl to use her quirk and Kaminari had offered himself up.
Kirishima pulled Kaminari into his lap as he munched on some mashed potatoes Bakugou had put together for him. He also gave Bakugou an arm massage because "bro your arms must be killing you from holding baby Denks all day!" never mind that he was a fucking hero who trained with twice of Kaminari's weight daily. Bakugou let him do it without complaint though.
Sero and Ashido had to leave to find out what their punishments were going to be. Detention for sure, they all agreed.
Kirishima and Bakugou let Kaminari crawl between them.
"You know," Kirishima mused, "I haven't heard you curse all day. You tryna be a good influence or something?"
"Shut up! I just didn't want you giving me shit." Bakugou was not blushing.
"It's very sweet, Bakugou. Kaminari is really lucky to have a friend like you taking care of him."
Fuck this man was going to be the death of him.
"Red, I -"
Kaminari interrupted him by pat-pat-patting his leg.
"I nee to pee!"
Bakugou and Kirishima exchanged a panicked look. Did toddlers know how to pee!?
Bakugou realized he was blessed because he didn't need to find out. Kirishima took the hit for him. Though by the way they both appeared unscathed, maybe Kaminari did remember some higher brain functions.
Food had unfortunately given him a boost of energy and he was a complete menace in the dorm’s common room. He zoomed from one corner to the other, screaming at the top of his lungs. If anyone else (other than Kirishima) had Bakugou's attention, there would be hysterical crying.
The others had quickly excused themselves, having snuck in several photos of a very adorable Kaminari with a very soft Bakugou. A lot of them featured Kirishima looking at them with a little too much fondness.
Todoroki paused at the open elevator and told Bakugou he would make a very good father. He shut the door as he spoke, saving him from the blast Bakugou threw at him.
"Hey, c'mon," Kirishima laughed. "That was a compliment. Especially from him, you know that."
Bakugou grumbled. He knew that! You don't need good parents to turn out good and strong. Stupid Half and Half was the perfect example of that resilience. And of course, he'd be the best at everything, fatherhood included.
"Oye dunce face -"
"Bakugou, don't call him that!"
"What else am I supposed to call him? I'm not calling him by his given name! I can't believe you're doing that. We don't even do that for each other." He was not whining.
Kirishima smirked at him, "are you jealous of a child?"
"Fuck you!"
"Language, Bakugou!"
Bakugou got off the couch they were sharing.
"Fine! You can sit here with your precious Denks and you both can cuddle and laugh and I'll just fu-"
Kirishima yanked him back down, straight into his lap, and locked his arms around him.
"I only want to cuddle with you, Katsuki," he mouthed into Bakugou's neck making him shiver.
But of course, today was not his day. (Really? A part of his brain said, your crush just confessed to you!) And Kaminari jumped on top of them, demanding to join the cuddle pile. He knocked his head back against Kirishima's in frustration. Stupid, big Kirishima who could hold Kaminari above them like Bakugou was not in the middle at all. He tossed Kaminari up and caught him as he fell.
His loud laugh boomed behind him and Bakugou wanted to curl up against that strong, wide chest. But baby duty called.
"Alright, we're going to go up to my room and put on some cartoons, yeah?"
Kaminari nodded eagerly, looking stupid as fuck just hanging there in the air. Bakugou turned to whisper to Kirishima,
"And then I'm going to put him down for a nap and we're going to talk."
"Sounds good, Suki."
Kirishima smiled sweetly and Bakugou felt his heart stop for a second and then explode in pain because Kaminari had just kicked him.
He snatched him out of Kirishima's arms with a growl and stalked off towards the stairs with a "you coming?"
"Ah, I'll take a shower, I think. Is that okay? I'll come to see you after."
Bakugou grunted and bounced Kaminari on his hip as they walked up.
A few hours later, Kaminari was drooling on his bed, bathed in the bright lights of a Pokémon movie. He was dozing off as well.
He was startled awake when his door slammed open and there was a shout,
"Kacchan!"
"Shut the fuck up!" He hissed, "I just put him down and I'll skin you if he wakes up."
"Sorry, sorry! Wow, it's true, he's really a kid and you're really taking care of him. Do you think he still has muscle memory? Could he fight? What if we gave him problems to solve? What -"
Bakugou slammed a hand over Deku's mouth to shut him up. He sheepishly looked at Bakugou, silently promising to stop.
"It's a fucking nightmare, Deku! I've had to watch what I say all day and he won't let me have any space."
"But he's so cute, Kacchan! Oh and it's like a practice run for you and Kirishima, right? In case you guys want children. Everyone said you're a great team, even in this."
Bakugou knew he was completely red. It was fury. That's why he was red. Yeah, he was just furious.
"Listen here you little shit, watch your mouth before you -"
"Before I what? Die? C'mon, Kacchan, I thought we were past this! I know you like him, you know I like Uraraka, can't we just talk about it now!?"
When did this fucker get so confident? Bakugou sometimes wished he missed the Deku that was afraid of him but it just wasn't true. This was better, they still fought but they were like brothers. Fuck, a brother, a baby, a... boyfriend? Was he building a whole damn family here? He narrowed his eyes at Deku. Somehow, he knew it meant a sign that he could continue.
"Okay! So there's a baby, you took care of the baby together. How was that? Sounds romantic."
"You're such a fucking weirdo! It wasn't romantic."
Deku raised his eyebrows.
"Okay fine, so I got a little jealous because he called him Denks but we're closer, right? Shouldn't I be the first one?"
Deku spluttered out a laugh, "you always did want to be first in everything, Kacchan."
"Ugh, whatever, he decided he wanted this, he can deal with that."
"What?!"
"Oh, did I not mention he hugged me and called me Katsuki, no, Suki." Bakugou sneered.
"Kacchan! That's amazing, I'm so happy for you."
Deku forced a hug on him and between him and Kaminari, Bakugou was getting real sick of all this touching. He punched Deku. The little fight they got into finally woke up Kaminari, who immediately started wailing of course, and Deku squeaked out an "oops, sorry Kacchan" knowing he'd just crossed a line.
The bastard really was favored by the gods though because Kirishima chose then to come in. He immediately went to Kaminari, setting down the things he'd brought in, and started rocking him calmly. Deku chose Bakugou's distraction to sneak out. Kirishima was able to settle Kaminari down immediately but not put him back to sleep.
He rubbed his eyes, what was the point they were always wet, and accused Bakugou, "who was dat?"
"The hell, kid? It was just Deku."
"Why's he callin’ you Kacchan? ONLY MY KACCHAN!"
"You really are best friends, eh? He's just as possessive." Kirishima snorted.
"Tsk. I don't like him so relax, okay? Don't tell anyone else either but you're my favorite too." Bakugou pulled Kaminari into his arms while Kirishima picked up the toys he'd brought.
"Mo than Kiwisima?"
"Don't push it. Brat, you good with staying here while I go make us some dinner? I'll come right back. You can play with, Kiwisima."
Kaminari considered it, "okay but! I wanna eat chocolate! Pwomise you'll get some!"
"One piece. After you finish dinner."
Kaminari pouted at having to compromise and demanded to be put down. He ran over to Kirishima who'd brought in some toy cars, the coloring book, a bubble maker, and a change of clothes.
He heard Kirishima ask him "You wanna sleep in my t-shirt, Denks?" as he closed the door. He was not jealous. He could probably ask Kirishima for his t-shirts too now? Or just sleep with him. He could have cuddles and even kisses. He hurried to the elevator before someone caught him blushing in the hallway.
Bakugou breathed a sigh of relief as he entered an empty kitchen. Finally, some alone time. He lost himself in cooking, deciding on ramen and curry rice. He felt a little silly doing it, but he arranged Kaminari's rice in the shape of a cat pouring the curry into its open mouth.
He added extra spices to his own ramen bowl and extra beef for Kirishima. And cut up some fruits, again in cute shapes like hearts and stars and lightning bolts. Kaminari would be more likely to eat it that way he reasoned. Last, he picked up a chocolate bar, broke off 3 pieces.
As he was setting up the tray, Jirou came up to him.
"Hey. That's fucking cute. I would say I didn't expect it from you but you always go all out at everything you do."
He grunted. This is why he liked her. She was no-nonsense.
"Uh, you want some help?"
"Just admit you want to squish his stupid cheeks, Ears."
"N-no!"
He smirked, happy someone else was getting flustered too.
"Don't have an aneurysm. Find me a baby chair from somewhere. He's a messy eater normally, I don't even want to imagine what he'll do right now."
Jirou went off, determined to find Yaoyorozu before he got back to his room. He finished his plating, fussing a little more over Kirishima's food.
True to her word, Jirou was waiting outside his room with a baby chair, lots of napkins, and a bib.
"You could've gone inside, Ears."
"Oh. I didn't want him to get uncomfortable or anything. I don't even know who he's with."
"I didn't leave him alone! Kirishima is in there."
Jirou stumbled out an apology and he decided to be gracious because clearly, the idea of baby Kaminari had fried her brain. He gestured to her to open the door for him.
As soon as they opened the door, Kaminari was screaming, "MIMI! KACCHAN GOT MIMI!"
"Oh, uh. Uh, I have to go. I have to...wash my face. Yeah, that's. Okay bye!" Jirou ran off.
Kaminari looked like he was going to cry but Bakugou showed him his food and how there was a special chair just for him. Fuck, thank God Kaminari's attention span was even more shot. They settled him into the chair and themselves onto the bed. Bakugou tried to not think about how their legs were touching.
Kaminari ate messy bite after bite, claiming "ish sho good!" in between. Bakugou told him not to talk with his mouth full. Kirishima matched Kaminari's enthusiasm and Bakugou had to point out he got to eat like this almost every day.
"Hey, I'm not going to value something less just because I have it all the time! Thank you, Katsuki."
Bakugou shoved his face in his bowl to hide his blush again.
Kaminari kicked up a fuss again when he was told he had to eat his fruits before he got his chocolate. So far he'd picked all the lightning bolts off the plate and that's it. Bakugou was using one of the napkins to wipe his face when he bit Bakugou's finger. "
Don't be mean," Kirishima chastised, "he's your daddy right now."
Kaminari regarded Bakugou thoughtfully, "no, he's mama."
"The f- hell you mean I'm mama? You want me to beat your ass?"
"NO!" He shrieked, "Kiwisima is daddy!!"
"What the fuck? Why is Red daddy?"
"Language," Kirishima said, ignoring how Bakugou had been good all day.
Kaminari smacked Bakugou across the face with a tiny hand and said "he's your daddy too!"
One second Bakugou was raising sparking hands towards Kaminari, the next he was across the room safely in Kirishima's arms.
"GIVE HIM BACK HERE!"
"NO, YOU CAN'T EXPLODO KILL A CHILD!"
"HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING."
"KATSUKI, HE'S TWO."
Kaminari stuck out his tongue and Bakugou wondered if the fucker wasn't just in there the whole time. At this point, he was sure his whole body was red.
He busied himself with cleaning up the fruit thrown around the room while Kirishima let Kaminari chew on his chocolate.
"I'm going to go take shower," he muttered, exhausted not just physically but emotionally.
"Use my bathroom. I'll clean up here and get Kaminari ready for bed. I got an extra futon and toothbrush."
The urge to kiss Kirishima had never been stronger but he buried it down
He grabbed his toiletries and nightwear and went next door. He turned on the shower as hot as it'd go, wanting to scrub away the embarrassment and awkwardness.
As he was drying himself off, he noticed Kirishima's well-worn Crimson Riot hoodie. He threw his own t-shirt in the hamper and put on the hoodie instead. The sleeves went well beyond his hands and it came down to his knees, hiding the shorts he'd put on. Kirishima was big. The hoodie was soft and warm and smelled just like Kirishima. He had to stop himself from sniffing it like some freak.
He padded to his room and found it fresh and clean, a futon laid out next to his bed. Kaminari was dressed in one of his skull shirts looking absolutely ridiculous. He was practically swimming in it, it looked like an off-the-shoulder, full-length nightie.
"I'm sorry, he refused to wear any of my shirts. Apparently, they're uncool! Can you...believe...him..." Kirishima tapered off as he realized what Bakugou was wearing. He set Kaminari down on the futon and crowded Bakugou against the door.
"Are you wearing anything under that, Katsuki?" He growled, eyes hungry. Bakugou bit his lower lip to hide his moan when Kirishima caressed his knee, slowly slipping his hand under the hoodie.
"I AM!" Kaminari shrieked behind them.
They jumped apart to find Kaminari lifting his shirt over his head, displaying the boxers he was wearing. Bakugou let his head hit the door. He wasn't sure if he was upset Kaminari interrupted them. Kirishima ran his fingers through his hair.
"I should go sleep. It's been a long day, I'm sure you're exhausted too." He pulled Bakugou into a tight hug. His lips brushed against Bakugou's ear, "I'm sorry about that, Suki. We'll talk and more when he's back to normal, okay?"
He let himself melt into Kirishima's arms for a few seconds, pulling away himself before Kaminari barged in on another moment. He wasn't letting Kirishima have all the wins today though.
He leaned up to kiss Kirishima's cheek and said, "Good night, Eijirou."
Kirishima's hands tightened around his waist.
"Not fair," he mumbled. Then threw a "good night, Denks!" over his shoulder before closing the door.
"Shweeth dreams, kiwi! I'll keep Kacchan safe."
Bakugou laughed, Kaminari was such a little shit.
"Okay, brat, I know you're tired so we're gonna sleep now. I can leave the bathroom light on."
Kaminari nodded and tried climbing up on Bakugou's bed.
"What are you doing? You're going to sleep on the floor."
"NO! I SWEEP WITH KACCHAN."
"Kaminari, c'mon, I'll be right next to you."
"NO!"
He stomped his feet, refusing to budge on this. Bakugou tried ordering him but when he said something about "scaries" under his breath, Bakugou picked him up and put him on the bed.
"Fine, but you're not telling anyone about this okay?"
"Kacchan!" He cried happily, nuzzling his chest. Bakugou was sure he wouldn't get any sleep but they both conked out within five minutes.
He woke a few hours later, feeling like he couldn't breathe. Wait, no, he actually couldn't breathe because there was a huge weight on him. He kicked it off. The weight let out an "oof" as it fell to the ground. Bakugou quickly switched on his lamp and realized Kaminari was back
"Bakubro, what the fuck?"
"You were crushing me, you fucker!"
"Everyone knows I'm a skinny bitch, don't lie to me, Kacchan."
"Ugh, shut the fuck up. Do you even remember anything, you probably stretched out my shirt."
Kaminari gasped when he realized what he was wearing and yanked the shirt down over his crotch.
"Don't look at my penis, Kacchan!"
"I WAS NOT WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Right, it's not Kirishima's."
"You asshole, do you know what I've put up with all day because of you?"
"Aww Kacchan, you took care of me?"
"Of course I did, Sparky! Couldn't let the other two idiots do it, could I? You'd probably end up limbless with them."
“You're right. I'd be dead! Poor helpless baby killed by his friends! By accident of course. Hey, I should go thank Kirishima too. He helped me pee!"
Bakugou pounced on him, "don't you dare. He's sleeping and you're fucking naked."
"Don't be like that! Daddy only wants to cuddle with you, Blasty."
Bakugou blew him up. Kirishima never said anything about not explodo killing a grown Kaminari.