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They have been dating for three weeks now. Three. whole. weeks. and Sam was JUST now able to hold her hand in the parking lot of the school.
Tory had came up beside her slipping it in causally. Sam short circuit on the spot looking at Tory dumbly as she talked to Moon about their physics test.
“Sam?” Fuck, Moon was talking to her
“Uh,yeah?” Moon made a weird face at her. Tory looked bemused. Fuck.
“We’ll meet up with you guys around 5.” Tory answered, giving Sam’s a light squeeze. It was soft and warm and she was rubbing small circles on the back of Sam’s hand with her thumb. Sam couldn’t breathe.
“Alright! See you guys then!” Moon said then turned to walk towards her car. They watched as she disappeared into the parking lot.
“A double date,”Tory said, moving her eyes to Sam’s. Answering her unasked question,”With her and Piper at that golf place.” She slipped her hand out of Sam’s turning to her with a slight smile.
“Yeah, okay, Golf n stuff.I love that place. My dad used to take us there all the time when we were little. They had half off kids on Wednesday.” Sam babbled on. God! She sounded stupid. Tory just smiled at her. Looking entertained by Sam rambling. Her eyes were soft, nodding her head a little at Sam’s words.
“Look,” Tory said, cutting her off and sparing her from her own embarrassment, “I gonna go pick up some stuff from the store, before,so I’ll see you at 4:30?”
“Yeah of course. I’ll swing by.”
“Okay.” Tory dipped a little, moving forward. Oh god! She was gonna kiss her. Sam’s eyes widened. What does she do what does she do. What if it was awful? what if her breathe was bad or her mouth taste weird?
OhGodohgodohgod.
Sam turned her head. Tory’s lips touched her cheek. Sam pulled back, stepping a good foot away.
“Okay!” Sam said, avoiding looking into her face, she gave a short, strained laugh, “See you at 4:30!” Then turn on her heels and jolted towards her car.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. SERIOUSLY!?
It didn't make any sense. She had boyfriends before. Had kissed and held hands before. She had even gotten to third base with Miguel in the back of her car but here she was anyway! Acting like some kinda of Romance novel maiden, blushing if Tory so much as shot her look at a certain angle …when the light caught her face in a certain way making her look so beautiful ….or freezing up when she had her arms out….Which were toned and sculpted…. A nice light golden brown….With muscle that shifted as she reached for stuff and would make Sam warm and tingling.... ENOUGH! GOD!
She was starting to understand why old cartoons drew hearts in eyes and made the characters float in the air. She was so sure every time she looked at Tory her heart would try and busted out of her chest. It frustrated her heavily.
She always had confidence in pasted relationships. She knew how to play her part correctly. She made them fall for her. Make them the bumbling idiot who couldn’t get enough. Now she was the one falling. Acting like a dunce. She couldn't keep her balance.
She knew Tory was pretty. She known it the first time she saw her at the club. All short shorts and Bikini top, arm looped through Aisha as though they been friends forever. It had fuel her with such emotion back then and she didn’t know what it was. She didn’t know how to name. She knew now. She had wanted to kiss her. Had wanted to from the moment she laid eyes on her, but she just couldn’t. She didn't understand. She groaned. Sinking into her car seat covering her hands with her face. GOD!
“Maybe cause it's the first time you've ever really liked the person your dating.” Moon said from Sam’s computer screen. She was putting makeup on it a mirror next to her. Sam had called an emergency FaceTime with Aisha and Moon the second she got home.
Sam paced back and forth in front of her bed. Two of her favorite dresses, a puffy,pink one and a babydoll, blue one, laying on it. It was 3:30 and she hadn’t even started getting ready yet.
Moon stopped putting mascara on turn to glance at Sam with those big, wide “aww honey” eyes that she gave Sam ever so often.
“Maybe this is how you are when you actually like someone,” Moon said turn back to finish her eyes, “and are not just trying to provide to yourself or put on a straight girl show. Maybe this is how your supposed to feel when you truly like someone’s. Look it up, honey, its called comphet. My moms’ queer woman book club were talking about it.”
Sam sighed. Stopping her pacing to stare at the dresses. She chewed her lip. Maybe that was true. She had like both Miguel and Robby. Miguel was sweet. Robby was caring. They were both so nice to her,but being with them, kissing them, was gave her nothing. It felt no more than a performance. Her love for them just felt friendly. Back then she had figure to herself this was what love was. Advance friendship or something. Then, Tory had came along and that thought process didn’t seem right. Just holding her hand felt like holding a lit match. Like fireworks were shooting off in her chest and blow her apart.
Sam almost gagged. Damn, Moon always said the deepest stuff.
“I agree,” Aisha said. She was moving back in forth in her desk chair looking at her phone. Bitting her lip like she was trying to hold back a laugh,” This is the first relationship where your feelings are real. I know you liked Miguel and Robby but you LIKE Tory. This is more serious than that and with everything that has happen I think your just afraid to mess it up. “
Sam actually did make a gagging motion this time, starting to pace again.
“Seriously Aisha!” She said wring her hands, “I Dodged! Who does that! To their girlfriend! It's not like I don't wanna kiss her! I do! I really really do! I've literally been thinking about it daily from the time that I first saw her!” Sam stopped. Dropping to her bed and buried her face in her hands.
“She gonna break up with me!!” She groaned
Then Aisha actually did let out a laugh. Sam looked up. Furrowing her brow. Aisha was typing something in her phone. She looked up at Sam, smiling apologetically.
“I’m sorry,I’m sorry! I don’t mean to laugh,” she said typing one more thing out before putting her phone down and staring at Sam with serious yet bemused look, “but Tory’s practically texting me the same thing right now. Look, Moon is right. I think you guys should just talk. Take it slow and work it out so either of you get hurt. Communication is key.”
Sam fell in to her back staring at her ceiling.
“Yeah,” she said, “ You’re right. You both are. Thanks guys.”
“Of course!” “We’re here for you.” They said. Sam got up to get ready
Sam picked Tory up. She looked beautiful as always. Sam felt her chest tighten. The drive was awkward and silent cause Sam was a coward who apparently couldn’t take as well as kiss her girlfriend. When they got to Golf n stuff, Moon texted in their group chat.
[MOONCHILD✨🧚🏼]
Hey girlies me and pipes have to rain check sorry
:(
Sam mouth went dry. Of course.
She glanced at Tory who cocked at eyebrow as she read the message. Her phone dinged again and she read something else before smirking a little then glanced at Sam. She didn’t look as pissed as Sam thought she would be with them bailing last minute.
“Soo…” Sam said nervously.
“We can have fun without them,” Tory said opening the car door, “just a normal date.” Sam scramble out of the car after her.
Sam began to loosen up as the played mini golf. They laughed and got into a light competition about who could get as many balls into the pond. Before having to stop when an employee yelled at them. Just as the sun was setting they walked around the park. Sam told her a story from middle school. They’re pace matching.
“God, then Aisha goes up to him and starts to explain that we were just trying to go and see the fault in our stars, because we were such “big fans, sir, really”, Sam laughed , “and he was like, “okay sureee” then we caught coming out of “as above so below” because I got so scared I spilled coke all over myself!”
Tory laugh. It was a perfect laugh. High and giddy it warmed Sam up. She turn towards her then still laughing. The sun hit her in a way that made her eyes give off a almost glitter. Before thinking Sam lend forward and kissed her.
It was rough at first because Tory was still laughing. Their teeth bumped and she got a lot of her lower lip. Tory adjusted to her, letting her hands slipped to Sam’s waist, resting at her hips. Sam cupped Tory’s jaw and the back of her neck. They kissed and kissed. Sam felt on fire.
When they finally pulled back for air the sun had lowered more giving only a soft glow of a pink sky. Tory was flushed. Her eyes were lowered and dazed. Sam took her in, she looked so beautiful and the kiss felt like lightening like energy. She felt lit up. It was everything she thought it would be and at the same time nothing like she ever dreamed.
As she caught her breathe and calmed down. Tory gave her a small smile. Sam flushed realizing what she had done. FUCK. She could feel her face heat up. She turned to run but Tory caught her wrist. Sam stilled like she had in the parking lot feeling like jelly.
“Hey.” Tory said, trying to catch Sam’s eye. God, she was beautiful. God, she wanted to kiss her again.
“Hey.” Sam squeaked. Tory laughed, dipping Sam. Kissing her again. This time at the right angle.
The kiss was soft and warm and so very, very perfect. Sam fell into it. She floated
This. She thought. This was it.