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Khun was running as fast as he could, turning down the halls trying to get to Hockney, Rak and Elaine's team.
Danger whispering in his ear so close he might have froze in fear if he wasn't already immersed in frustration. The taste of failure, so familiar, was the only thing he focused on other than the strain on his legs to keep running.
He could feel his heart pounding in his ear, the impact of his feet on the ground and fear coursing through his veins making him run even faster. The ranker behind him would no doubt kill him the first second he got his hands on him, and despite his new skills with shinsu and healing there was no guarantee he could win, so he ran.
He turned down yet another corridor as he heard the ranker’s screams getting closer and closer, and Khun would have accelerated if that was possible, but he was already on edge. Logically a human regular, even with blood from the ten families, could not have a physical advantage compared to a ranker. At that rate he would have less than a minute of head start before he was caught.
It didn't help that his mind was so troubled, repeating information over and over to sabotage itself. Telling him to stop, because it was illogical to run when there was no guarantee of escape. Saying how pathetic he was, leading a ranker towards his friends when he should have been helping them. Saying how much he'd made things worse and put Bam in even more danger when he'd returned White's powers, simply because he was desperate to be helpful.
Then Khun felt his body shrink to the side, instinctively dodging the lightning before he could make the conscious choice to do so. Not a second later did the sound of screaming and lightning reach him, one shrill and one rumbling so loud and painful that he had to resist the urge to cover his ears.
When he turned to the one who used the lightning, a part of him was almost relieved because he felt it might be Ran. But it was impossible, because Khun made sure Ran was far away, far from Maschenny.
“I was looking for a mouse, and I found a big one.” The male voice came from the person covered by the cloak, and even without being able to see him, his voice was indistinguishable. “Hello, little brother, I'm Asensio.”
“I know who you are.” Khun replied.
Marco smiled softly, and started down towards the ground, to Khun. While the smile wasn't cruel, or the kind that promised ulterior motives, it didn't make Khun any less apprehensive. Still feeling the adrenaline coursing through his body and the escape response still ringing in his head, Khun forced himself to try to appear outwardly calm.
“I see. It looked like you were in danger so I butted in, sorry about that.”
“Kindness is not our family’s type.” Khun said, blatantly bold to mask the apprehension that Marco's approach caused him.
Marco stopped in front of Khun, far enough away to respect his personal space, but close enough to trigger more red flags in his mind.
“No good deed will be forgiven” Marco said the phrase so repeated by the younger members of the Khun family as a joke, although true. “My intervention is not genuinely well-intentioned, indeed.”
“What do you want with me?”
“A deal. Now that everyone in the Tower knows that the Irregular is climbing, inevitable chaos is setting in. Many revolts are being organized in hopes of the end of Zahard and his rule, and many are taking advantage of the uprising to get what they want. The irregular became an image of hope for change, much like what you became when you left the family. Showing everyone that it was possible to go against the hierarchical system of the family, that it was possible to challenge the father's authority and even steal from him. A few years have passed, but many still remember your name, AA. So why not use your image to help dethrone our father?”
Khun wanted to have an answer on his tongue, yes or no, because time to think meant he wasn't convinced of his goals. And that was not a truth he wanted others to know about. But despite that, he found himself standing in front of Marco, eyes wide, considering.
The right answer was yes. It was to this end that he was climbing, looking for allies and trying to grow stronger each day. Right? This was what he'd wanted since before Bam came into his life and messed up his priorities.
But the yes didn't come out spontaneously and Khun knew why. It was because he didn't want to go, despite his ambition. He wanted to be by Bam's side, to climb with him and Rak. Khun promised he would take Bam to the top of the Tower, and for most of the conscious seconds of his life so far, that's all he's been thinking about.
He always thought that this was a long-term goal, and that for now all he could do was what he was already doing. So after he put Bam on top of the Tower he would go after Eduan. Later. After Bam was strong, and not in danger. After the stars. After he didn't need Khun anymore.
But the taste of the last failure was still in Khun’s mouth, and all the previous ones were not forgotten. He wasn't strong enough to stand by Bam's side without being a burden, and he'd been aware of that for a long time, even before he set back two years of growing up. And even if Khun indulged himself, convincing himself that he could be useful in other ways that would be a lie. Because even in his element, even in strategy, Khun failed. Did Bam really need him, or was Khun fooling himself into having reasons to stay? In everything Khun could think he would be a support, Bam could have a better replacement. He had good friends who would stand by him, he had strong allies, princesses falling at his feet and the FUG. The truth was, Khun never needed to stay, he wanted to stay. The question was: could he still be selfish?
“Also, when we take the Khun family you may have enough power and influence to help the Irregular. Why not go where you can make a difference?” Khun doesn't know when he lowered his gaze while thinking, but he had to look up to see Marco.
Khun was even more alarmed by the argument that hit all of his insecurities. It was worse than not having any cards up his sleeve, it was like having all his cards face up on the table for everyone to see. How could he go back to the Khun family games when he was so weak and vulnerable?
“This deal is suspiciously good for me.”
“Your wishes were already in agreement with what we want. That’s all.”
Khun didn't need to have had even a tenth of the experience of dealing with his family to know there was clearly more there than Marco was talking about. But he already felt the balance tipping towards the yes, and feeling that he finally had a goal whose result was achievable was relieving. A determination he hadn't felt in so long that he'd already forgotten what it was like washed over him, and his face cracked into a smirk.
“I only have one more request.” Khun said confidently. “I want Bam to get out of this place alive and with Jinsung.”
“That can be arranged, little brother.”
Bam tried to stay calm and not think about the worst-case scenario.
Almost all of his friends were scattered with the other survivors on that ship and Bam had been looking for Khun for a few minutes and couldn't find him. The only ones who have seen Khun since they split up were Hockney, Elaine and Rak, and Hockney said that in Khun's last transmission with them he was in a control room looking for a mouse with his lighthouses.
Bam saw the concern in Hockney eyes before quickly leaving to continue looking.
He had a suspicion that Hwaryun might be hovering near the room where his master was recovering and without waiting another second he headed there.
When Bam found her on the side of the entryway, she didn't give him the opportunity to ask before answering.
“He's walking his own path.”
Bam would have asked "what?" if he hadn't taken a second to breathe after running all the way with his body bruised and exhausted. But that second gave him time to think, and when he did, he could only feel relief that Khun was somewhere and not just dead.
“Where is he?”
Hwaryun looked at him intently, and that was her usual look, but Bam couldn't help feeling that this time was different.
“My God mustn't go after him.”
Bam was too psychologically exhausted to deal with another roller coaster of emotions, and the more he thought about what those words might mean more he felt like he might start to cry.
Hwaryun walked forward to stand beside Bam, and reached a hand to his shoulder as if to comfort him.
“You must accept.”
“Accept...?” he said confused, more to himself than to her. The next words didn't come quickly, but Hwaryun looked at him as if despite knowing what he wanted to know she still expected him to ask. “Isn't his way with me?”
“Some yes.”
“So I don't have to accept.” Bam spoke stubbornly. “If there is a path you can see, I will walk into it.”
“My God-” She said and stopped suddenly as if she was rethinking what she would say. And it was so different from her calm confidence that Bam tried to cling to that hope, that maybe she wasn't sure.
“These paths no longer exist. I'm sorry.”
It seemed unquestionable, with no room for discussion. She didn't pull away though, as if she knew he wouldn't accept it.
“Why?” He asked and his voice was lower than his normal tone.
“Paths can change with our choices” she said as a rehearsed speech. “Khun Aguero Agnis chose any path that could be on your side, but you didn't choose him back.”
“No, that's wrong,” Bam replied, his tone rising with indignation. “I would never leave him, I never pushed him away, and I asked him to stay with me. How then did I not choose him?”
“Are you sure? From what I can see you always had choices, whereas you always chose Rachel, Khun always chose you. But that wasn't enough to seal your fates.”
She started to walk away, but Bam had already made up his mind.
Hwaryun turned to him, as if ending the discussion with the sentence.
“The tower doesn't care about broken hearts.”
But if there's one thing Bam knows, it's that the Tower doesn't control the fate of the Irregulars.