Chapter Text
Stiles anxiously wrung his hands and tried to regulate his breathing. He had already had a panic attack today and he wasn’t anxious to have another one. He tapped his toes on the floor and counted to five as he breathed in, and out. Opening his eyes and rolling his shoulders back. He was on the bottom step and very aware of the angry voices coming from the living room. His father was pacing, occasionally setting down his phone too hard, causing Stiles to jump.
“Noah.”
Stiles raised his head and angled himself so he could peek into the living room. He saw Melissa walk over and sit on the arm of the chair, running her hand up and down his dad’s arm. “Noah, this is frustrating but we need to remain calm for Stiles.”
His dad let out a long, frustrated, breath and shook his head. “She left us.” He looked up to his wife and shook his head once more. “She left Stiles.”
Melissa nodded, understandingly, and silently kept up her soothing movements.
“This is unfair to him.” Noah continued. “He’s seventeen, he hasn’t seen her in nine years, she should have eased into this! Not used her lawyer husband’s power to influence the judge into this ludicrous custody agreement.”
“We don’t know that.” Melissa said quietly, but with little conviction. She knew something was off, everything had happened too quickly. Stiles hadn’t even gotten to see his mother before they were being served custody papers. “At least they moved here.”
Noah shook his head and looked up to mantle where the family pictures were all displayed. “I suppose it’s one small comfort that he doesn’t have to travel far. Same school.”
“It’s okay to be angry about this.” Melissa said, standing and sitting on the couch adjacent to her husband. “We fought so hard to get to this normal…for the boys and for us.”
Noah met Melissa’s eyes and she could see the sadness welling up in his. “I want him to know his mother, that’s what I’ve wanted for years. But this? This feels forced, and I know he’s upset. I should have been able to stop it.”
“You couldn’t have, honey. It was over before it began.” Melissa sighed, her hands coming together and anxiously turning her wedding band. “I know the guilt doesn’t go away knowing that. We always want to protect our children.”
Noah nodded and hung his head. He felt like he was failing his son. He meant it when he said he wanted Claudia and Stiles to form a relationship. He would like nothing more, but this wasn’t the way to go about it. She had a new husband, they had never met Stiles, and now the court agreed to a week on and a week off. It felt like everything was slipping from his fingers and he could do nothing to protect Stiles.
“I don’t understand why they didn’t just come talk to us. Why they didn’t talk to Stiles and see how he wanted to go about this. He’s seventeen and they just railroaded him.” Melissa said, shaking her head. “But I doubt we’ll get those answers now.”
Stiles kept breathing in and out and closed his eyes again. His dad and Melissa had said everything that had been going through his head since last week. Was it possible that everything had seemed so normal last week? So happy? Now he had to meet some guy and his mom.
It all felt so overwhelming. He had, of course, missed his mom when she left. But he had understood she had been sick and had left for treatment. Then she just never came home and asked for a divorce. It had taken a lot of time and counseling to come to terms with that. He wasn’t the problem, he was loved, he had support, and he had come to terms with it all. And now, all of that work felt pointless.
He had just celebrated his seventeenth birthday, he had been planning on spending his spring vacation with Derek and his family…
He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt his panic rising. The lack of control over the situation and not knowing what to expect and being away from everything that was familiar and comfortable was too much. It was just too much.
He jumped violently as the front door opened in front of him and snapped shut. Scott came in and shook his head to clear the rain off his hair. Stiles managed to chuckle. “You know, Scotty, you’re acting more and more like a dog every day.”
Scott laughed, but Stiles could see it, could see it in all their eyes. They all felt uneasy, wrong-footed, and anxious over the situation. It was hard to know what to say, and Stiles supposed he couldn’t blame them. He wanted to spend this night with them but it was hard to go there, to sit, to be, knowing that everything was changing tomorrow morning.
“Any word from Derek?” Scott asked as he hung his coat up to dry.
Stiles slowly shook his head.
“Did you tell him?” He asked, a note of anxiety in his tone.
Stile shook his head, averting his eyes to the floor. He didn’t know what to say to Derek and he didn’t want to ruin his vacation.
“But isn’t he coming back for our spring vacation?” Scott asked.
Stiles sighed, nodded. “Yeah, maybe, I don’t know, but maybe I can talk my…mom…into letting me go?” He doubted it, but didn’t know. Because he didn’t know her or his new step-father. He just didn’t know. When he looked up to see Scott’s expression he held up a hand. “Listen, I don’t know what to say to him, ok? I’m not ruining this time for him with my troubles.”
Scott’s expression melded into one of concern and he sat next to Stiles. “He’d want to know, Stiles.”
“He will.” Stiles shrugged. “I don’t want to tell him because then…”
“Then it makes it real?” Scott supplied, an equally sad smile on his face. Stiles nodded.
“Yeah, Scotty, it makes it real.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the distant sounds of clanging in the kitchen. His dad and Melissa must have started dinner. “Do you think I’m overreacting?” Stiles asked his best friend.
Scott shook his head, vehemently. “No. Remember when my dad showed up out of nowhere? I was a mess and he wasn’t even making me stay with him every other week.” Stiles nodded once and Scott threw his arm around his shoulders. “Not to mention he didn’t bring a step-parent with him and he actually talked to me. Your situation is already more stressful.”
“Boys, dinner will be ready soon.” Melissa said, startling them both. Scott stood and hugged his mom, perhaps a little tighter than usual by the soft concerned expression that passed her features. “Go wash up.” She said as he let her go.
Stiles remained seated as Scott ran up the stairs. Maybe if he just sat here, nothing would change.
“Stiles.”
He looked up, hesitantly, to Melissa. She was kneeling at his eye level now and in front of him. “Stiles, talk to me.”
“I’ll go wash up.” He said quietly.
It was the quietness to Stiles this past few days that was concerning to Melissa. She knew a storm was raging in him and he was keeping internal. “Stiles, honey, please.” She placed her soft, warm hand on his and Stiles had to swallow the tears down.
“You’re my mom, not her.” He whispered, blinking, and looking to Melissa. “Even before you and dad got married. You watched me, bandaged my cuts, kissed my scrapes, read me to sleep, took care of me when I was sick, you have always been here for me. And now…now she thinks she can come in and take that all away?” His voice had grown in volume with each word he said, and he wasn’t aware his father had come out of the kitchen.
Melissa rubbed soothing circles into the back of his hand with her thumb as she listened and nodded. “She can’t take any of that away, sweetie, and maybe she wants to add to it. She is interested in getting to know you.”
“Kiddo,” Noah said, Stiles turned and looked at him. “I know this is hard and I wish I could make it happen in a different way, but Melissa is right. Your mom loves you and having her back in your life won’t take Melissa or me out of it.”
“Maybe.” Stiles conceded, but it didn’t ease any of his worry or pain much. “I just don’t…this is my home.” He looked at his dad and Melissa. “You are my home.”
Melissa looked at if she were going to cry but kept it in and nodded. “And we always will be. Nothing will change that.” She ran her fingers through his hair and lifted his chin. “Stiles, we’ll always be here for you.”
“I know.”
“It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling right now.” She added, smiling sadly and brushing away the stray tear that had fallen down Stiles’ cheek.
“It’s just a lot.” Stiles sighed, he wiped impatiently at his cheeks and stood up slowly. “But…maybe it will be nice to see mom again.” He gave his parents what he hoped was a reassuring smile and turned to wash up.
*
Stiles paced back and forth. It was a wonder the carpet in his room wasn’t flat and torn by now, but he just couldn’t sleep. Because if he did then everything was going to be different in the morning.
“So, if you stay up all night, tomorrow won’t come?” Noah’s voice rang out startling his son. Stiles swore quietly and ducked his head.
“How do you always know my logic?” He asked, sitting at the end of his bed.
His dad chuckled and came into the room. “I raised you, son.”
“Touché.”
“Stiles, this is a big change but you need sleep.” Noah said, looking at his son with concern. Stiles had hardly been touching his meals, barely sleeping, and quiet since learning of all of this. “It’s stressful to go through change but you’ll get sick if you carry on not eating or sleeping.”
“Maybe if I’m sick I won’t have to go!” Stiles perked up, a half smile coming to his face. Noah chuckled and shook his head.
“I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that.”
“Then how does it work?” Stiles snapped, exasperated.
Noah patted Stiles knee and sighed sadly. “I don’t know.”
“It’s just not fair, dad.” Stiles looked down to his fingers. This had always been his safe place. No matter what, illness, trouble, how much mayhem or chaos that he or the supernatural caused, this was his safe place, and so was his father. “I don’t want to leave you…” Stiles said, barely audible.
Noah pulled his son into a tight hug, resting his chin on top of his head. “I don’t want you too, either.”
They stayed like that until Stiles eyes grew heavy and sleep was threatening to overcome him. Noah noticed and ushered Stiles into bed and pulled the covers over him. “Maybe it will be okay, right dad?”
“I’m sure it will be.” He reassured.
As Stiles breathing became even and he knew his son was asleep, he sat back down. Thinking of all the nights when Stile’s ADHD didn’t allow him to sleep and was upset, of all the nights he was sick, of all the bedtime stories, of all the sleepless nights for them both after Claudia left. So many restless nights, a lifetime.
Stile’s lifetime.
He tried to keep the bitterness towards his ex-wife down and the anger that she had missed those nights away. He wanted it to be okay, for Stiles.
For Stiles, he needed it to be okay.