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Akutagawa hated to be kept waiting.
While he retained very little respect for anyone who did not value punctuality, he was probably just being dramatic right now. Barely fifteen minutes passed since he arrived at the park, after all. Or perhaps Akutagawa was making excuses because of who it was that happened to be late.
Tch. How annoying.
Akutagawa made too many exceptions for a certain someone.
He occupied his time people-watching, if only to keep his thoughts far away from Nakajima Atsushi for as long as possible. An increasingly difficult feat, it seemed. It was rather quiet this time of day, with idle laughter and soft chatter wafting through the springtime breeze like wayward pollen. Akutagawa sought out a cool spot under the shade of a cherry tree, hidden from the public’s eye and away from the glaring sun.
A little distance away, a child threw a frisbee by himself while his father stood to the side, chewing someone out on his phone. A couple laid out on a picnic blanket, legs tangled without shame, hand-feeding each other fruit and sandwiches. His mind conjured up a picture of Atsushi, of the two of them sitting on a picnic blanket like the couple before him. He turned away.
On the footpath near him, a young girl struggled to walk a dog almost twice her size, smiling hopelessly at him and waving as she passed him by. He gave her what he hoped was a sympathetic nod. Dogs were indeed unruly companions.
It was nice, he had to admit, to be seen without being feared. He was still a wanted man, still the Rabid Dog of the Port Mafia; but right now in his hooded jacket and dark washed jeans, he was just Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. Just another man visiting the park on his day off.
Mid-morning sun rays peaked through fluffy clouds, pierced through the cherry blossoms to kiss his skin with warmth. He closed his eyes, tilted his head, soaked it all in. Stray petals fell around him like pink snowfall. He brought his now-cold cup of jasmine tea to his lips but stopped abruptly.
On the lid, a small red ladybug skittered along. He frowned. Had he been less careful, he would have killed it.
“Oh, my apologies,” he said to the ladybug. Akutagawa brought the cup to his eye level, going a bit cross-eyed. “I did not see you there.”
Conjuring up a thin ribbon of Rashoumon from his hoodie, Akutagawa nudged the ladybug on to it. Once it climbed on, he stood, gathering it as gently as possible with his ability and moving to the tree.
“You should be more careful,” he said once it climbed onto the tree trunk with its many legs.
Rashoumon retreated back to his jacket with a soft purr. The ladybug settled on a low branch, blissfully unaware of how close it was to dying. How precarious was this mortality, to exist one moment and be wiped out the next. A few months ago, Akutagawa would not have cared about who lived and who died. A few months ago, Akutagawa would not have felt things like remorse. He did not understand that life, all life, was precious. Not until Atsushi came into his life anyway.
How very annoying to have even his most inconsequential thoughts stray towards Atsushi.
“Always so gentle with bugs.”
Speak of the devil. Akutagawa turned, skin abuzz, to greet the newcomer.
Atsushi looked refreshing outside his usual paperboy attire. Instead of the too-long belt and stiff white shirt he wore to work, Atsushi donned loose skater shorts over a pair of tights and an oversized hoodie. The same hoodie, he thought with something akin to satisfaction, that Akutagawa had given him on his birthday. The one with the accented hood that made his eyes shine brighter.
Tucked under Atsushi’s arm was his well-loved skateboard, adorned with various stickers of his favourite bands, internet memes and cute rabbits. No doubt gifts from his family at the agency.
“It’s so endearing to watch you carry a ladybug to safety while you look like you’re in the middle of having an existential crisis.” Atsushi poked his tongue out and winked— the face he usually reserved for when he teased Akutagawa for doing typical Akutagawa things.
There was a light sheen of sweat on his face. No doubt he had rushed to get to the park on time. The thought brought a small smile to his face.
“You are late, Jinko.” Akutagawa said by way of greeting, ignoring his jabs. He was indeed entertaining morbid thoughts, but Atsushi need not know that.
“Sorry,” Atsushi said sheepishly, and added in a quieter tone, “Kyouka,” as if it explained everything. It did.
Atsushi played big brother to Kyouka, who along with himself, was still adjusting to a new life as a member of the Armed Detective Agency. Even on his free days Atsushi kept busy. Waking up extra early to make sure Kyouka ate a healthy breakfast, tutoring her in subjects she never had the opportunity to learn in school, playing video games with her every morning. All to make sure she could have a normal childhood.
Akutagawa understood all too well what it was like to care for a sister, especially in their line of work. And all too suddenly, his chest flutters.
He pulled a paper bag from his pocket and threw it unceremoniously at Atsushi. “For you.”
“Oh?” Atsushi said. He reached into the bag and took out a fluffy, savoury cream bun. “Hey! My favourite!”
Akutagawa cleared his throat, trying to dispel the rapid beating of his heart at the sight of Atsushi’s bright smile. His traitorous mind conjured up images of picnic blankets, intertwined hands and brushing crumbs off lips. Akutagawa promptly looked away.
“Since you love taking care of everyone else and forget about yourself. Stupid Jinko.”
“Wow,” Atsushi said, sounding mildly offended. It was hard to look or sound mad with such full cheeks. “How’s yo’w day?” He asked with his mouth full of bread.
“Fine.” Better now that you are here. “I watched a demon dog being walked by a poor girl. She reminded me of Gin. She keeps pestering me to get a dog. Vile things.”
Before long, Atsushi had completely demolished his bun, and was licking his fingers clean. Were it anybody else with such a nasty habit, Akutagawa would have punished them with Rashoumon. A few months ago, he would not have hesitated to swipe Atsushi’s fingers clean from his hands.
“I don’t get your beef with dogs,” Atsushi said, patting his belly. Akutagawa opened his mouth to start his rant on why Dogs Are Actually The Worst, but promptly shut it when Atsushi said, “it’s cute though.”
Akutagawa’s cheeks grew hot. “Whatever,” he muttered, but he was sure from Atsushi’s pleased expression that something in his face gave him away.
“Oh, hey,” Atsushi dropped his skateboard on the cherry blossom covered footpath. He stepped one foot on rolling the board back and forth on the spot. “Wanna see this new trick I learned?”
“You will show it to me no matter what my answer is.”
Atsushi stuck out his tongue again and kicked off with his other leg. He looked back at Akutagawa and blew a kiss as if to say “this one’s for you!” and bent his knees, bracing for a jump. Only, before he could, his wheels rolled over a loose pebble on the ground and sent him tumbling.
Akutagawa rushed to him.
“That… wasn’t supposed to happen,” Atsushi grumbled. He stood up and rubbed his butt.
Akutagawa snorted. “Dumb Jinko.” He laughed softly at the other’s expense.
“Always so mean,” Atsushi said, but he was smiling too. “I’m still hungry. Wanna grab something to eat?” He checked his watch. “It’s almost lunch time and it’s starting to get crowded here.”
“Wait. I want to take some photos,” Akutagawa said. It was rare that he got the opportunity not to work when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. He pulled out his phone and snapped a few pictures. He looked at Atsushi expectantly.
“Done?”
“Are you not going to jump into any of my photos today?” He said, referring to Atsushi’s annoying habit of photobombing all his pictures.
Atsushi looked startled for a moment, before slipping into a sly grin. He moved into the frame.
“Just say you love having pictures of me on your phone and go.”
“I love having pictures of you on my phone,” Akutagawa said in his most deadpan voice. “I cannot get enough of you.”
Akutagawa snapped a few more photos, this time with Atsushi doing various poses. Some sweet; an innocent peace sign with all his teeth on display, another where he hugged his skateboard to his chest. And some confusing; two fingers pointed at his outstretched arm complete with a horrendous lip bite, and another where he brought a finger to his lips and pouted, leg kicked back in the air like a schoolgirl from a teen drama. Ridiculous. Akutagawa had no doubt he learned it all from Dazai-san. That man was a terrible influence.
Akutagawa went through the photos he took at top speed, stopping at one. A candid, Atsushi had his eyes closed and mouth open in a wide smile. There was something poetic about the way the sun seemed to halo him, as if it rose every day just to shine for him. Akutagawa rubbed a thumb over the Atsushi in this picture, gaze affectionate, lips tugged into a soft smile.
“Are they any good?”
He favourited it before Atsushi can come over and see.
Akutagawa hummed. “There are too many people in the background though,” he said. He could clear them out with Rashoumon but… Atsushi would not approve.
“We should take a selfie. We don’t have many of those.” He said boldly, but his downcast eyes betrayed his shyness.
“Okay.”
Akutagawa stepped next to him, equally bold, equally shy, and held up his phone in front of them. Atsushi moved closer, tilting his head towards him. Their arms brushed up against each other, and even through the layers of his jacket he felt the warmth Atsushi always exuded. He takes the picture, though he isn’t sure how he managed to without dropping his phone, and favourited it too.
Atsushi bumped his head on Akutagawa’s shoulder. “Hungry.”
“Such a cat,” Akutagawa replied, enamoured. If Atsushi wanted to act like a cat, then he will be treated like one. Akutagawa patted him on the head, brushed his hair back and pinched the base of his neck lightly. Atsushi seemed to enjoy it, eyes closed and smiling wide. “Really such a cat.”
Only when he opened his eyes again did Akutagawa realise how close they were. A hair’s breadth away. Transfixed, neither of them moved away, nor did they seem to want to move away. A game of chicken, an unspoken challenge. Until Atsushi broke the tension with a small huff and a smile, saying, “you have freckles now, did you know?”
Akutagawa pulled his hand away to touch his face. His cheeks felt warm. “Do I?”
“You should thank me,” Atsushi stepped away, and Akutagawa found it hard to pretend he didn’t miss having him so near. How annoying. “You get so much sun now because of me.”
An understatement. Atsushi brought sunshine with him wherever he went.
Atsushi does not wait for him to reply, getting hungry and impatient, and started to tug him along by his sleeve. He pulled Akutagawa all the way out of the park, until the dusty footpath merged into concrete, and they were back in the city. With less people around them, Atsushi let go of his sleeve, and placed his hand firmly in Akutagawa’s.
They walked, hand in hand, twin blushes on their faces, to the nearest convenient store. As much as Akutagawa offered to spoil Atsushi with real proper food, he still preferred his processed cakes and snacks.
With a declaration that he was paying for all their food, Atsushi broke off to the snack aisle whilst Akutagawa slipped the cashier his bank card. He thought of Gin, and how she would be quick to call him a glorified sugar daddy if she had been here. Atsushi returned, arms laden with sweets and treats and dumped them on the counter.
“Hey, hey! What are you doing? I said I was going to pay,” Atsushi looked on in disdain as the cashier swiped Akutagawa’s card.
“Should have used some of that tiger speed to beat me to it then,” he said with a smirk.
“Next time,” Atsushi mumbled. He picked up the plastic bags and trudged out of the store, but not without politely greeting the cashier. Even when he was grumpy he was nice.
They found an empty bench outside the store, and Atsushi plopped down with the bags between them. “Okay these are for Kyouka and the rest we can share.”
In moments like these, Atsushi employed his superhuman speed to scarf down any food that was in front of him. Akutagawa picked up a lemon puff, slowly biting into the corner, both fascinated and horrified as he watched Atsushi eat like he was in a wildlife documentary.
“Slow down. You are going to put me off my food,” he chastised. Atsushi had the decency to listen, offering him a cheeky grin before eating at a proper, socially acceptable pace.
“Cat!” he exclaimed suddenly.
Akutagawa opened his mouth to question him when he felt something brush up against his foot. A grey tabby meandered between their legs, stopping to sniff at their shoes. It came back to Akutagawa and eyed him reproachfully, as if disappointed it had not been given permission to climb on his lap. He sighed and patted his leg, the cat immediately pouncing and settling on his lap.
Akutagawa made sure to keep his food far from its reach. It stood up on its hind legs and began pawing at Akutagawa’s chest, swiping and demanding he release the food. When he brought his hand down to feed it, it gently bumped its head against his stomach as if grateful.
“She likes you,” Atsushi said. His lips were pursed in a pout and he looked… put off?
“Are you jealous, Jinko?”
“Ha!” Atsushi snorted. He crossed his arms and turned his head away, turning up his nose in a proud manner. “Why should I be jealous of a cat?”
Akutagawa smiled. “I never implied you were jealous of the cat ,” to which Atsushi coloured and grumbled to himself.
Akutagawa watched his side profile, the way his frown disappeared the moment the cat jumped onto his lap. How gentle his gaze was when he looked at it, when he looked at him. How his lips were always turned up in a smile, how he seemed to absorb the sunshine and reflect it tenfold.
“Are we on a date?” Akutagawa asked, the thought bursting through without a filter.
Atsushi spluttered. “I— Uh. What?!” His cheeks bloomed in a rosey pink, reminding Akutagawa of the cherry blossoms he sat under. Pretty. “Where is this coming from?”
Akutagawa got the sudden urge to kiss that blush away. Or maybe to deepen it, to feel the warmth of his skin, to kiss down his cheek until he could tug his lips with his own, to see how far he could go before Atsushi cracked. Instead, he tugged at those choppy bangs.
“Ouch! What was that for?!”
“I realised something today,” he said with a smile. He smiled a lot around Atsushi. “I spend a lot of time with you, my supposed enemy.”
“We stopped being enemies long ago.”
“That we did,” Akutagawa agreed. “I realised that spending time with you is easy. Easier than breathing. It was something I wanted to do, something I always looked forward to. But more importantly, there was no one else I wanted to see but you. And you… you have this annoying way of occupying my thoughts all the time.”
“Hold on,” Atsushi said. To Akutagawa’s delight, his blush turned a deeper shade of crimson. “Is this what I think it is?”
“What do you think this is, Jinko?”
“A... confession…?”
Akutagawa felt like teasing him. He tapped his chin in thought. “Would that make you a priest?”
“Oh, don’t be such an asshole.”
“Atsushi,” Akutagawa said, and the effect was instantaneous. Atsushi froze, and smiled once more, bigger, brighter, more brilliant than before. “I like you. I have for a while now. I thought that much was obvious.”
“That’s… That’s a relief,” Atsushi said. “I like you too. But I was always afraid, there was always a part of me that didn’t know if you—“
“Yeah,” Akutagawa agreed. Atsushi’s self worth, much like his own, was something they had worked over time to rebuild, piece by piece, together. Sometimes there were doubts. Memories haunting them, ghosts from their pasts plaguing their minds. Gnawing insecurities swam to the surface as whispers that made them feel small, unloved.
Atsushi set the cat on the ground and moved the snacks out of the way, scooting closer to Akutagawa. “I like you.” He whispers it, like it’s a fragile secret. Akutagawa can feel his breath on his lips.
“And I like you.”
“So this is a date then?”
“If you want it to be,” Akutagawa said, “I could always take you out to dinner. Someplace nice. With proper food and none of this,” he gestured at the empty plastic wrappers beside them, “ junk. Which you really must stop eating. It is not good for you, Atsushi.”
“Do you always nag your dates?” Atsushi said quietly, eyes glazed as he stared at Akutagawa’s lips. He looked up, as if asking for permission, and closed the gap between them.
A tentative press of their lips, innocent and curious. Atsushi broke away first, but not for long. He dove in once more, pulling Akutagawa close to him like a magnet, hand clutching his waist tight like he was afraid of letting go. Akutagawa kissed him in kind, like he had always wanted to, gentle yet insistent.
They part with one, two, three smaller kisses. Akutagawa rested his forehead against Atsushi’s, breathing heavily.
“Shall I pick you up later tonight, then?”
Atsushi laughed, a breathy, musical sound. “It’s a date.”