Chapter Text
Wednesday was astral projecting again, out of the urgent desire to be anywhere else but there. As much as she felt loyalty to her family, being the only autistic in a nest full of bipolar people wasn't easy. Well, there was Lurch, he might be autistic too, it was hard to say. Ever since Wednesday had devoured the book about mental disorders, she was trying to diagnose everyone she knew. That had been a pain to digest, especially with her irritable bowel syndrome. Her parents were very supportive of her interest in psychology.
"Oh, she's studying the intricacies of the twisted mind! We're so proud of you, Wednesday darling!", Gomez had boomed,way too loudly.
Wednesday's body was currently sitting in a cupboard with headphones on, no music was playing. She just wanted quiet. She was also doing chameleon camouflage, which was probably overkill. But as the eldest sibling, one could not be too careful.
She looked around the astral realm. Just next to her, there was a whispering veil. It seemed to want her to come closer and say hello. Wednesday decided to be polite.
She stepped closer, then she stepped through it into a foggy, dewy valley.
A big rodent tried to bite into her leg. Wednesday conjured up a hammer and gave it a few whacks, careful not to get any intestines on her shoes. Lurch had just shined them after the last intestine related incident. Though it probably didn't really matter in the astral sphere. Through the fog, a vulture (or something not unlike a vulture) came thrashing. Probably wanted their share of the carcass. Fair enough.
But instead of eating the mangled pieces of rodent, it decided to attack Wednesday. A very final fatal mistake on it's part.
An other creature stepped through the fog, and Wednesday already held her hammer ready to smash it, and an axe in the other hand. Safety first. Even if she preferred blunt weapons. It was a big black dog. Maybe a grim. Wednesday couldn't really tell. She decided to read up on the bestiarium as soon as she hot back home. It didn't seem to plan any funny business, maybe it was intelligent enough to see what had happened to the vulture and the rodent. Well, a bit of destruction was never amiss, but Wednesday had come to the astral realm for less action and noise, not more of it. So she strolled back to the veil. It had temporarily disguised itself, probably with the intent to keep her longer.
"None of that. Now come out, I'll be late for dinner", Wednesday said. She absolutely destroyed an other big rodent that was galloping into her direction. The dog followed her. She tolerated it. It was silent. With a bit of effort, Wednesday pushed through the veil, the dog on her heels like a shadow.
She stepped back into her body. To her surprise, the dog was sitting down beside her and was still visible- and smell-able in the physical realm.
She mentally shrugged.
"Time to eat", she said to the dog, and opened the door. As she stepped out, the creature followed, carefully.
Well, she hadn't had a pet in a while. It was always the question of how long it lasted before it got torn to pieces and ended up in Grandmama's cauldron.
Wednesday still sometimes missed her scorpions.
Wednesday idly strolled into the dining hall.
"Oh Wednesday dear! You didn't tell me you were bringing a guest. Is he your boyfriend?", Morticia asked. She was currently trying to stab the furry thing that tried to escape little Pubert's bowl. Wednesday had stabbed her own food when she was his age. As a three year old, he should have his first axe. But mama insisted on babying him.
"That's a dog", Wednesday said.
"Well technically it is, right now. Wednesday, you're not telling me you didn't notice? Or is this because you don't want to introduce him to us yet? Don't be shy, mister, I can see you're a bit old for my daughter, but hiding in dog-form shall not save you", she said. That's when Gomez, Wednesday's overly dramatic father stepped in.
"What is this I hear! An older man trying to woo our Wednesday? I shall fight you!", he shouted, floret in his hand like a pirate. Wednesday rolled her eyes.
"Papa, I've had my first professor at my feet when I was fourteen two years ago. Calm down", she said. "Yes, mon coeur, what a commotion. You know seducing older men is an important part of becoming a proper man-eater", Morticia said, wiping a bit of excess blood off the table. Gomez huffed. "She could just eat them without seducing them first", he muttered.
The dog now transformed into a slightly gaunt man. Huh. Wednesday should have noticed that. Well. She had probably been distracted by the menagerie of the valley. He was kind of pretty, but he looked a bit mellow around the eyes. Not properly predatory. He wasn't really her type. Also, she wasn't that hungry.
"Hello. I'm Sirius Black", the man croaked, a voice like dust and grind stone. And with an English accent.
Wednesday wasn't so sure about him not being her type anymore. Maybe not for killing.
"And I'm not interested in dating your sixteen year old daughter", he added.
Well. That was a pity. But then again, the professor was still somewhere in the basement. She should check up on him some time. She wasn't sure how long it would take him to go stale under the preservation charms.
"Oh. Well how did you end up here, then?", Grandmama said, while she was bringing in a pot filled with a questionable substance. Probably dinner.
Grandmama eyed Sirius Black's behind.
"Juicy", she remarked.
"Thank you for bringing me back from the veil, Wednesday", he said sincerely.
Wednesday nodded. Then she picked up the book she had left on her chair and started reading while shoveling nutrition into her mouth.
"Were you astral projecting again?", Gramdmama asked. Wednesday shrugged.
"This place reminds me of home", Sirius said darkly.
***
"Walburga's son? Why, you're family!", Morticia exclaimed.
"How so?", Sirius asked.
"Well, Walburga was a Frump. Which makes us cousins", Morticia explained, conjuring up a family tree.
"Of course you can't see the English branch of the tree. There had been a falling out between the French and the English somewhere along the way", she muttered.
"Oh, I can imagine", Sirius said.
"Maybe that's how Wednesday found you. You're basically her uncle", Morticia said.
"Not by blood. Walburga reversed her blood adoption when she turned her back on the Frumps", Sirius added. Morticia raised an eyebrow.
"So you are interested in Wednesday", she said.
"No! I'm absolutely not! I'm actually quite looking forward to seeing my godson and boyfriend again!", he said hastily.
"All I need is an international portkey, and I'm out of your hair", he said. Morticia was still looking slightly offended.
"Well, I still see you as family. Your magic feels just like Addams family magic. Maybe you're born with it. Some of the best Addams weren't, though", she said.
Sirius didn't know how to reply to that. He did feel at home here. Which made him uncomfortable and jumpy.
"Thank you, Morticia. You and your family have been very kind", he said.
"Don't mention it", Morticia said.
"And now, you get back to your sweetheart. Separated through the veil! I can only imagine. The pain! The longing! What bliss to get him back. And don't worry about portkeys. I'll open a portal for you. If you want to return here, just say Addams family and snap twice. You'll be right back here, with whomever holds your hand by then", Morticia said. Before Sirius could answer, she pushed him through a glittering thing that Sirius had never seen before.
"What kind of magic is this?", he muttered. He floated. Then he landed. Right before Moony. Who looked so shocked, he nearly dropped the baby with the green hair he was holding.
"Sirius?", he whispered.
Sirius looked at the child and then back at Remus. They had the same eyes.
"What the fuck, Moony."