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The soft tunes of Debussy’s “Clair De Lune” fill the air, lulling Chuuya from his sleep. He was a little disgruntled to be awoken, having been dreaming of running his hands through the soft fur of a brown puppy, but duty calls.
Sighing, he reaches to turn the alarm off and stretches his arm over his head, yawning--he’ll definitely need to stop staying up so late watching those serial killer documentaries on Netflix.
He shuffles his feet into pink fuzzy slippers and slips on the matching bathrobe, heading towards the bathroom to wash up before work.
One delicious, healthy breakfast complete with a steaming cup of coffee later, he’s good to go.
He smiles as he walks towards his pride and joy, the love of his life: his motorbike but doesn’t get more than three steps before he finds the ground under him disappears and he’s plunged into darkness.
“What the HELLL!?!?!?” he bellows as he continues descending.
After what feels like eternity, he finally lands on a carpeted floor, the impact knocking the wind out of his lungs.
His limbs sore, he manages to garner the strength to slowly rise, brushing the dust from his immaculate clothes and readjusts his hat before he looks up in an effort to gain bearings of his surroundings.
The sight he sees before him shocks him to his core.
It’s the ADA’s office as he remembers well, but the people inside are much larger than he’s used to. Granted, he’s slightly vertically challenged so he’s become accustomed to having to tip his head up slightly to talk to most people but this is on an entirely different level.
Actual giants fill his vision, all eyes trained on him.
“It’s a mini Chuuya-san!” Atsushi’s the first to speak, pointing to him with an outstretched finger.
“So it is,” Yosano remarks. The gleam in her eye has Chuuya involuntarily gulping and taking one step back. “I wonder if he’s shrunk or regressed in age…”
“He’s so cute, I just want to squish him,” Kyouka gushes, making grabby hands at him.
“No fair, I wanna squish the mini Chuuya,” Kenji whines. “Maybe we can go to the zoo together and look at cows. Do you wanna do that, Chuuya? Huh?”
But Chuuya’s biggest (quite literally) challenge comes when Dazai begins sauntering towards him. His heart rate accelerates and his breath comes faster as the ground literally thuds with each step, the smirk on his face growing larger as Dazai approaches him.
“Hey! Stop!” Chuuya protests as Dazai picks him up by the scruff of his collar.
“What have we here, a even more chibi chibbiko?” Dazai swings him back and forth, taking care that Chuuya’s legs aren’t able to reach him. Looks like even in this world Dazai’s ability is able to nullify Chuuya’s or surely Dazai would be well on his way to Mexico from how hard Chuuya would fling him out the window.
“Where did you come from, widdle Chuu-Chuu? Do you need a lollipop or want to take a nap?” Dazai croons.
“I’m an adult!” Chuuya roars, mustering all the might in his body. “A grown ass adult! Now let me the fuck down before I blow your brains out!”
“Aww, he’s so cuuute I just wanna put him in my pocket,” Dazai continues gushing, completely ignoring Chuuya’s threats. He cradles Chuuya to him, ignoring the kicking and punching Chuuya’s doing in an effort to free himself--fifteen years of extensive kung fu never prepared him to face King Kong in battle.
“Everyone! Listen up!” Dazai announces. “If anything, and I mean anything happens to Chuuya, I will kill everyone in this room and then myself. Is that clear?” Although Dazai’s tone seems joking, there’s an undercurrent of a threat unmistakably lacing his tone, and even Chuuya can tell he’s being somewhat serious.
“Now, now, Dazai, we haven’t even given Chuuya the chance to talk,” Fukuzawa chides. He pats a spot on his desk where there’s enough space for Chuuya to sit down. “We’re being quite rude to our guest here. Let’s have him explain what’s going on.”
Everyone watches as Dazai dutifully waltzes over to Fukuzawa’s desk, taking great care to set Chuuya down gently.
“So, Chuuya,” Fukuzawa starts. “How did you end up here in this form?”
“I have no idea! I was heading to work as normal walking towards my motorbike when suddenly this massive hole opened up in the ground and I just fell through! Wait, are you guys taking pictures?” Chuuya questions incredulously as he notices the flashes of cameras from the corner of his eye. He turns to see the entire ADA, even Kunikida, is gathered in the center of the room, adoring expressions and cooing over him like some type of paparazzi, shamelessly recording him. He’s a Port Mafia Executive, not some fluffy bunny!
“Interesting,” Fukuzawa remarks, recapturing Chuuya’s attention. “So you must have been hit with some ability and came from a parallel dimension?”
“Looks like it,” Chuuya sighs. “You guys all exist there too, just in versions that are more my size.”
“Fun size!” Kenji remarks happily. “Aww, I’d love to meet mini me.”
“I know exactly what I’m doing in that world so there’s no reason to ask,” Ranpo states smugly around his lollipop.
“Me too! Hey, what’s mini me like?” Atsushi inquires. “Is Ryuu nice to me over there? Do I eat chazuke every day?”
“You eat chazuke every day over here too, Atsushi,” Ryuu comments from the back of the room where he’s leaning against the wall. “I doubt that would change no matter what ‘dimension’ you’re in.”
“Are me and Nii-san married?" Naomi’s eyes turn glossy and she sighs dreamily.
“N-Naomi!” Tanizaki protests, pushing away her hands threatening to dive under his shirt.
“Honestly, there’s not much of a change from this world, just based on what I’ve seen,” Chuuya comments as he crosses his legs. “Outside of Odasaku Man, of course.”
“Odasaku Man?” The ADA questions in unison.
Chuuya nods. “Odasaku Man--the #1 stuffed toy in all of Yokohama. He has an entire TV show dedicated to him too where he accomplishes heroic feats. He’s my personal hero,” he finishes, admiration evident in his tone.
“Can I see a picture of this ‘Odasaku Man?’” Eyes narrowed, Dazai approaches Chuuya, his lips pursed.
Chuuya pulls out his phone and shows him a picture of the toy.
“I guess it does seem pretty squishy,” Dazai acquiesces with a huff. Naturally, this attracts the attention of the other ADA members and they too marvel at the toy, wishing they had one too.
“Say, Atsushi.” Atsushi looks up at his name being called.
“Yes, Chuuya-san?”
“Do you really wash your body and your hair with just one bar of soap?”
“C-Chuuya-san!” Atsushi’s cheeks flush red and Ryuu snickers.
“He used to but I’ve made sure that’s no longer the case. Are there any other unique...habits of the jinko I should be aware of?”
“He gave Dazai a bouquet of flowers and I heard Dazai nearly went into cardiac arrest.”
“I was gonna do that tomorrow!” Atsushi wails, tangling his hands in his hair. “Damn it! Shit!”
“Wow, Atsushi-kun swore!” Dazai seems more impressed at that than the actual flowers themselves.
“Oh, you should hear his potty mouth when we’re playing Mario Kart-”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Atsushi interjects. “I have a better idea--Chuuya-san, why don’t you meet the other Chuuya-san? The one from our world?”
That’s definitely an interesting thought, and Chuuya is consumed by the prospect that if everyone is taller in this world, then of course he would be taller too. Maybe even taller than Dazai…
“Let’s go! I want to go to Port Mafia!” Chuuya declares, standing on Fukuzawa’s desk, hands on his hips. Of course, this inspires a whole other round of pictures, and Chuuya begins leaving before he’s asked to try on cosplays as a cat or a lion.
He takes a ride on Atsushi’s back as the tiger and offers to take him out for chazuke after he’s done meeting the other Chuuya in a form of apology for the teasing from earlier. Atsushi giggles, understanding Chuuya didn’t mean any harm and thanks him sincerely, remarking this Chuuya is exactly like the one he knows.
His veins teeming with excitement, growing anticipation rises in Chuuya as he waltzes up to Mori’s desk and asks to speak with Chuuya. Mori of course had questions for his...diminutive appearance but the prospect of two gravity manipulators wreaking havoc was enough to convince him to fulfill his request.
Mori knocks on the other Chuuya’s door, a “Come in” coming muffled through the wood.
“Go on in,” Mori invites as he opens the door and steps aside.
Chuuya takes a deep breath and walks through the threshold.
The other Chuuya’s office is decorated exactly as his is with the exception of one of the paintings--he had been between the roses and the moonlight water, and looks like this Chuuya chose the roses.
“Chuuya-san, there’s someone I would like you to meet,” Mori introduces.
“Hmm?” The other Chuuya is seated behind a desk, head bent over some papers so Chuuya can’t quite assess how tall this one is.
“I think you’ll find it quite amusing.” The other Chuuya finally looks up and his eyes immediately widen, his mouth forming a little “o.”
“Is that my clone? Am I being manufactured?” is the first thing that comes out of his mouth.
Chuuya facepalms. He, unfortunately, is not a super genius like Ranpo in this world.
Mori laughs. “This one apparently just appeared in our world suddenly but the similarities between you two are uncanny. Come say hi!”
The other Chuuya rises and as he does, Chuuya’s heart sinks. He’s not incredibly tall as Dazai, but rather diminutive, easily passing for a freshman in high school with the right clothes. However, he’s dressed exactly the same as Chuuya, so at least he has that going for him.
The other Chuuya walks toward him, kneeling to his level. “So you’re...me. From a different world.”
“Yup. Think of it as a parallel dimension,” Chuuya replies.
The other Chuuya’s eyes narrow. “You’re really me?”
Chuuya touches a piece of paper on the ground and levitates in the air. “Satisfied?”
The other Chuuya seems more convinced after this demonstration. “So what’s my favorite type of wine?”
“We don’t drink anything that’s younger than 1950 unless we’re desperate,” Chuuya clarifies. “On days we wish to celebrate, we will pull out the expensive crystal glass we got for completing our 100th mission from Kouyou, pop off the cork, and watch the sunset.”
This seems to satisfy the other Chuuya. “Yup. That’s me all right. So what’s happened so far?”
“I was deposited from the parallel dimension into the ADA’s office so you can guess what happened.” Chuuya rolls his eyes at the memory of Dazai’s theatrics. “Dazai declared if anything happens to me, ‘he’ll shoot everyone in the room and then himself.’”
“He could just skip straight to shooting himself and save us both the trouble,” the other Chuuya mutters.
“My thoughts exactly! Nice work, me!” Chuuya holds out his hand for a high-five and the other Chuuya slaps his hand against his, both smiling.
“Even though you already know Yokohama so well, why don’t we take a walk?” The other Chuuya offers.
Chuuya nods. “I’d like that a lot.”
The other Chuuya points to his hat. “Tell you what--I’m sure you don’t want to be mistaken for being a child so why don’t you climb on my hat? If you stay really still and try not to blink, people may just think that you’re a stuffed animal and ignore you. We’re trying to improve our public image here at the PM, so it’ll be nice for the public to see the Executives doing mundane things like taking a walk in the park.”
“Ooo, that’s a great idea!” Mori praises, pulling out a notebook. “Let’s make stuffed animals for all our members, especially the Executives! I want to start with-”
“Odasaku Man?” Chuuya finishes.
“How did you know that?” For the second time that day, Chuuya fishes out his phone and shows both of them the picture of his Odasaku Man plushy and reassured them Odasaku Man was quite popular in his Yokohama, with their sales generously helping fund 38% of Port Mafia’s income.
He climbs on top of the other Chuuya’s hat and enjoys the higher vantage point. It feels a little weird to be up this high but it’s also nice, and he does his best to remain as limp as a doll. At one point he simply has to blink and notices a child’s watching him, so he gives the young boy a wink and holds a finger to his lips, who promptly giggles.
While he isn’t able to talk to the other Chuuya, the other one holds a phone to his ear as if in conversation and tells him about his life as a Port Mafia Executive, how he’s been managing his and Dazai’s cohabitation, and their thoughts of getting a dog, much to Dazai’s dismay. Chuuya smiles at the thought of the brunette from his world interacting with a dog--after he’d seen Chuuya leaving from the theater production of “The Boy And His Dog” he knows the brunette’s been jealous of the lavish attention Chuuya demonstrates towards canines.
With a pang, he realizes that as much fun it’s been to be in this world, perhaps going back home to his world wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
His alarm sounds for a second time. Startled, he pulls out his phone and as he rubs his eyes, his surroundings change back into his room and he realizes it was nothing more than a pleasant dream.
“How interesting,” he murmurs, and snuggles into the side of his mackerel.