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"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU fuck you dave" Karkat said, sitting at his chair
"ur so gay 😏 anyways, since you spilt alllll your juice on the ground, you gotta clean it up." Dave said, ploping a grey bucket and mop onto his desk.
"Do i really have to? This school has janitors for a reason dipshit" Karkat said, annoyed that he's doing someone else's job.
"y e s and when I come back there better not be a single drop of juice on the floor."
Not willing to argue, karkat agreed and dave left. 'That guy is the worst. I hope he gets injured or something' right then and there, he heard a scream from outside the empty classroom.
"A A A A A A A A A A A A"
'Bruh wtf was that. normally I wouldnt go and check but ok'
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"WHY THE FUCK DID THAT DIPSHIT- OH MY GOG. I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TO BE THE ONLY MATURE BEING HERE."
Karkat went to check who was screaming even louder than him in the human school that they were all in for some reason. Lo and behold the culprit was Terezi; not that she screamed, but she made someone who is presumably a teacher scream after hitting her with her cane when she was trying to restrain Terezi from consuming the class' entire stock of chalk.
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"Terezi what the fuck" Karkat said, just sitting there. "Honestly, I wouldn't normally check this type of stuff. But that scream just now was very impressive."
"Heh, sorry. I just really really needed that chalk. You see, I have the disease tha-"
"I'm going to stop you right there. I dont care. Seems like everything is fine, so I'll be on my way. Later" Karkat walked away, back to the class he was in so he could do that stupid job Dave had assigned him a few moments earlier.
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"I DON'T HAVE TIME TO CARE ABOUT WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU'VE BEEN DOING, I HAVE TO GO CLEAN UP THE MESS THAT DUMBASS DAVE MADE. AND GET RID OF THAT... BUCKET. BYE."
"K4RK4T YOU DO R34L1Z3 H3'S TRY1NG TO COURT YOU, R1GHT? >:]"
"NO, TEREZI, HE'S JUST TRYING TO EMBARASS ME FOR FUCK'S SAKE."
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"IDC IF H3S TRYOING TO 3MB4RR4SS YOU OR NOT. HE W4NTS TO D4T3 YOUUUUU :D"
"alright, whatever. Go fuck yourself or something." Karkat says that and b o o m he is instantly teleported back to the empty classroom he was at earlier. THUS ENDING THE CONVERSaTION
'Oh i didnt know that teleportation was canon in this story. lul ok then'
THen...
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SUDDENLY, a man wearing red triangular shades who looks strangely like he's out of a shonen anime bursts into the scene like a moment in a clice romcom where the man finds out he's being cheated on.
"Who the FUCK said YOU were allowed to have meta awareness?"
"WHAT"
"WHO. LET. YOU."
"I'M SO FUCKING CONFUSED WHAT IS HAPPENING ARE YOU A PEDOPHILE HERE FOR ME OR SOMETHING"
"My name is Dirk Strider you bitch ass motherfucking wiggler, but that's GOD to you. In all capital letters. Also I have no fucking clue what's happening either, if that gives you a sense of comradery at all with a random intruder adult man."
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"ok then... so you said your name is dirk"
"yes I just said that dumbass"
'Gees dude no needto be rude, but whatever'
"WTF DID I SAY ABOUT META AWARENESS"
"Gah, sorry" With that karkat turns around to pick up the oh so neglected mop to clean daves fucking mess. "wait you said your last name is strider. are you related to that dipshit dave because if so can you tell him to fucking clean this mess?"
"No" no? what do you mean no? no to being related or no to telling him to clean his mess? context man.
"context."
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"The context is I don't want to be a part of this dumbass story anymore, my character is getting more butchered than the singular dead horse that's constantly being beaten in metaphors and I also don't want to interact with Dave that would be mad awkward."
"PLEASE JUST LEAVE"
"Fine, you ungreatful bitch. I've graced you with my presence and you-"
"GO"
"Fine. Yeah. I'll do you a favor and take the bucket with me, too." Dirk takes the bucket; then opens the window, throws the bucket out, and leaves through it himself before shutting it so hard it almost breaks.
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Finally he's gone. If i had to hear him again I mightve jumped out that window myself. I guess he did answer me. I wonder what happened between him and dave. also he took my bucket. What do i do now?
"Karkat." a voice said behind him.
"Huh? oh. dave." Karkat said, unamused. How will he explain that this dirk guy just stole his bucket and thats why he couldnt clean the floor.
"well? did you finish cleaning? I got you a gift if you did." a gift? now Im intregued.
"Oh well. this guy named dirk kinda came in here and stole my bucket. from what he svid it sounds like you and him have some beef or something.
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"why the fuck did my bro come in here and steal the bucket. what the fuck"
"LISTEN I DON'T KNOW EITHER, BUT I'M HONESTLY PRETTY GLAD HE TOOK THAT THING AWAY."
"wow you really cant take a joke huh. whatever i dont want to even talk to him about it when i get home ill just go get some paper towels to clean this up before the teacher terezi beat the shit out of gets up and sees this then kicks our asses or something"
"FINE. SURE." Dave left the room. Karkat imatiently waited for him to come back, now being a little paranoid about what Dave said happening.
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Dave came back a few minutes later holding some towels. They were white and neatly folded.
"where did you get those? they look like they're straight out of a hotel or something." Karkat stated as he walked over to pick up a towel off daves hands.
"Oh I just randomly found them somewhere. pretty convenient to be honest."
"alright bitch you didnt just 'find them somewhere' where'd you find them?" Karkat wasnt going to fall for his petty lies
"The locker room.." The locker room? why'd he go all the way there? Why not just go to a janitors closet. I guess he'd have to come out of the closet then so he might just be too shy to admit that.
