Chapter Text
It had been a whirlwind few days for Carly Shay. Less than a week ago she had been with her best friends, planning skits for iCarly, trying to keep Sam out of trouble at school and spending her spare time at the Groovy Smoothie.
Now she found herself in a dark, unfamiliar room, lying in an uncomfortable bed. She stared at the ceiling, her eyes vaguely making out a small crack by the corner nearest to her. She let out a sigh as she turned on her side, trying to find a comfortable position.
Moving to Italy so she could spend more time with her dad had seemed like the obvious choice at the time, and it still was. But, suddenly the reality of leaving her friends, her brother, and the only home she had ever known was tapping on her shoulder and was refusing to leave her alone. It had been a mere seven hours since she had walked through the front door of her new house, but she already missed Seattle.
She rolled onto her stomach, her arms grabbing at the pillow and manipulating it into a more comfortable shape. She was exhausted, but her body was wide awake. Unhappy with her new position she turned again and the digital alarm clock by her bed came into view. The numbers blinked at her, loudly insulting her insomnia, 2:33am.
“Five… thirty?” She asked herself, as she counted off the 9 hour time difference on her fingers.
Resigning herself to the fact that inconsistent, short bursts of sleep were probably the best she was going to achieve, she reached for the lamp and flicked it on. She rubbed at her eyes while she waited for them to adjust to the sudden brightness before sitting up. She let her legs dangle from the side of the bed as she stretched her arms out wide and tentatively placed a bare foot on the cold floor.
She made her way over to the luggage she hadn’t bothered to unpack yet and began to rummage through her carry-on bag for her laptop. Locating it, she returned to her bed and sat down on it, opening an unread message in the group chat with her friends. She typed out a quick response and only moments later a message from Freddie appeared.
Shouldn’t you be asleep?
She smiled to herself before typing back.
Jet lag
Carly began to type out another response as a notification popped up - Freddie wanted to Skype. Noticing her messy hair in the blurry reflection of the screen she quickly tied it back in a ponytail and clicked accept.
“Hey!” Freddie said as his grinning face appeared on the screen. “How’s Italy?”
“I’ve only seen it in the dark so far,” Carly chuckled. She sat up straighter and felt a little more awake now she was talking to a friend.
They both stared at the other's image on the screen, shy smiles playing across their faces. Carly hesitated, trying to find the best way to reference their goodbye. Emotion had overwhelmed her the last time she had seen Freddie and she had surprised herself by kissing him. The way his lips had felt against hers, the way his hand had rested so strong and sure on her hip, the way her heart fluttered and soared. She had replayed the moment in her mind repeatedly during the long flight to Italy. It had felt so right, as though it was something they were designed to do.
The silence lasted a moment too long and Freddie, in an effort to break the awkwardness, launched into a story about something Lewbert had done after she left. Before she knew what had happened Carly was drawn right back into the drama of home. The two chatted, swapping a surprising number of stories for two people who had only been separated a day. Eventually Freddie’s mother interrupted, yelling that it was time for dinner.
Freddie hung up and Carly was left with her own image blinking back at her on the screen. A shallow sigh escaped as she considered her reflection. She rubbed at her eyes and shook her head as she realised they hadn’t had a chance to address what their goodbye kiss had meant.
“Next time” she muttered, closing her laptop.
Of course keeping a promise to herself proved to be easier said than done; The next time they caught up Sam was there too, sitting in a different frame but bickering with Freddie like always. The third time her dad was nearby and she felt too embarrassed to broach the topic while he was in earshot. The fourth time their call was cut incredibly short when the battery on her laptop died mid sentence. By their fifth conversation it just felt unnatural.
Carly tried, she really did, but for some reason every time she built up the courage to say something the words would get lost in the middle of the journey from her mind to her mouth.
It didn’t take long to settle into an easy rhythm.
Carly had started at the school on the Aviano Air Force Base to finish her senior year, and although the curriculum mirrored what she had been doing back home she still had to spend time catching up. Every day she would come home and send a quick message in the group chat around the time her friends were getting up and starting their mornings. She would get stuck into her homework, keeping an eye out for messages as she studied and typing out the occasional response. Weekdays were never great for conversation.
Saturdays were her favourite, every evening she would settle in on the bean bag chair in her bedroom, her laptop propped up in front of her and to call her friends. Most weeks all three of them were available, sometimes Gibby would join in too. Occasionally Sam would be tied up with a babysitting gig which left Freddie and Carly on the call alone.
It was these calls, between only her and Freddie, which always lasted the longest. They would end up talking for hours, dreaming about the future, joking, reminiscing. Sometimes they even sat in silence as they carried on with their own individual tasks, just to keep each other company despite the distance that separated them.
Secretly, these calls were her favourite! She always felt just a tiny shiver of excitement when Sam would send through an apology about not being able to jump on line. She couldn’t explain it, she missed Sam just as much as she missed Freddie and loved speaking to her. But every time Sam couldn’t join, disappointment was very quickly replaced with joy. Now that she couldn’t just pop next door to see Freddie she really relished the rare opportunity they had to be alone together.
“I booked my tickets,” Carly announced as she logged onto the video call one Saturday evening.
Freddie grinned at her, “I can’t wait to see you again!”
“I hope Sam is able to make it to Seattle at the same time,” Carly added.
Freddie nodded.
Carly had convinced her dad to help her pay for flights so she could spend two weeks back home over the summer vacation before returning to Italy for a gap year. Sam was currently trying to save up enough money so she could fly into Seattle at the same time and would also be staying at Spencer’s apartment during the trip.
“I’m sure she’ll figure something out,” he agreed.
As if she knew they were speaking about her, Sam suddenly came into view on screen, still dressed in her pyjamas and clearly enjoying a lazy Saturday morning.
Freddie and Carly spoke of their nerves about graduating in a month's time, while Sam laughed at them and encouraged them to drop out and get a job - a joke which lost all of its power when she revealed that she was planning on enrolling in night school and finishing her senior year part time while continuing to babysit in LA.
As their conversation came to an end and they said their goodbye’s Carly felt a familiar sinking feeling in her stomach. She closed her laptop and found her softest pair of pyjamas. It was still too early to sleep but getting comfortable and curling up with a good book was a great time waster.
As she got to the end of the first page she realised she couldn’t recall anything that had happened. After re-reading the same page a few times she sighed and gave up. Her mind was wandering back to her friends, anticipation building for the time when she would finally get to see them again.
In particular ,she kept picturing Freddie. The last few months had been confusing and incredibly frustrating. After years of keeping him at arms length and insisting they were strictly friends she finally had all the distance she could ever need and a never ending desire to be close to him.
People like to claim that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and in Carly’s case she was beginning to see why. Her feelings towards him hadn’t necessarily changed, but his sudden absence from her life was drawing her attention to just how much he had always meant to her. This fact, which she had continuously pushed down and refused to acknowledge back in Seattle, was now over flowing - and it hurt.
Her upcoming visit home filled her with excitement, she couldn’t wait to see him again, couldn’t wait to be in the same room as him again, to touch him, hug him. Maybe, if she got the chance, she would even kiss him again.
Carly placed her book to the side and laid down. She closed her eyes and imagined, not for the first time, a life where she had figured out her feelings towards Freddie without needing to move over 5000 miles away from him.
Images of the two of them at senior prom, dancing like they had danced so long ago at the Groovy Smoothie played before her eyes. She imagined late nights at college, working on assignments they had put off for too long in favour of other activities together and lazy road trips across the country in the summer.
Carly opened her eyes and found herself back in her small bedroom.
Her fantasies took another direction, she wondered what would happen if she told him about her feelings during her upcoming visit. She imagined two weeks full of sneaking around and finding moments to be alone before enduring a long distance relationship, and finally reuniting again. It was something she could feel in her heart, something she knew she didn’t just want, she needed.
Determined, Carly promised herself she would find the right moment during her trip and let Freddie know just how much he meant to her.
The familiar sight of the Bushwell lobby greeted Carly as she followed Spencer into the building and towards the elevator. Her brother had insisted on carrying her bags and was clumsily attempting to keep hold of them as he jabbed at the button. As the doors opened Carly stepped in first, beating Spencer to the button panel so she could select their floor number before he had a chance to. The journey was shorter than she remembered and in no time the door opened and revealed the living room of her brother’s apartment. At the sound of the elevator arriving Freddie, Sam and Gibby, all ran from the couch and practically tackled Carly in an excited greeting
“It’s been way too long!” Carly squealed from somewhere inside the sea of arms as she tried to push through them and escape their enthusiastic clutches.
Eventually, the group dispersed and Carly’s bags were left, forgotten, by the elevator as they made their way back to the couch. Their conversation was a dizzying blur of questions and stories as they all caught up on their respective, now very separate, lives.
Carly’s flight had touched down mid morning, and now, after navigating customs and the journey to the apartment, she was really struggling to stay awake. Freddie watched as her eyes drooped and a yawn began to form. He whacked Sam’s arm.
“What gives, nub?” She demanded.
Freddie nodded his head in Carly’s direction.
“Time for Smoothies!” Sam yelled, understanding Freddie’s message.
Carly jumped suddenly in her seat.
Her friends spent the rest of the day keeping her busy in an effort to help her adjust to the time difference. By 7pm Gibby had gone home and the three best friends were left alone. Carly was very close to losing her battle to sleep and they all crowded in, side by side, under the comforter of her old bed with a laptop balanced on Freddie’s lap.
“How about Die Hard,” Sam suggested, prodding her finger at the screen as Freddie scrolled past it.
Freddie flicked her hand away as he shot her a dirty glare, “Greasy fingerprints away from my computer, Puckett.”
As he continued to scroll through the movie options, and bicker with Sam, Carly’s eyes became heavier and heavier. Confused, she tried to focus on the conversation.
“Mean Girls” she said quietly, ignoring the continued back and forth between her two friends.
Freddie clicked on the title and moved the laptop, so they all had a better view of the screen. The movie began to play and Carly closed her eyes. Her head dipped and swayed as she failed to keep it upright. Finally it came to a stop as it made contact with something firm and she didn’t bother to move again, letting sleep finally wash over her. Freddie’s shoulder had become the perfect pillow for Carly and he let her stay there throughout the film, even as the position became increasingly uncomfortable.
When the movie came to an end he gently shook her.
“Carls?”
She groaned lightly, still half asleep.
“I’m heading off now, see you tomorrow.”
Instinctively he began to lean forward, ready to place a soft kiss on her forehead. He caught himself before he made contact and awkwardly sniffed at her hair instead. Still unsure of Carly’s feelings he didn’t want to over step his boundaries and left the room quickly, closing the door quietly behind him.