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Bilbo sighed, leaning back against the stuffy couch with a grimace, pulling Frodo back with him so he was balanced high on his hips, looking around eagerly, exploring the room the best he could with his uncle keeping a firm grip on his little waist.
He liked this new place. It was sparkly. And weird.
"Do you have to sit like a petulant teenager, Bilbo? You could at least act like this might be a nice day."
Bilbo shifted a little, making Frodo turn towards him with a glare when it jostled him. Bilbo smiled and slid further down, making Frodo's glare turn to one of amusement. "Nah. I'm still nineteen, and I didn't get much petulance in before now. Gotta try, don't I? Besides, his majesty the king and his lord only want us here to discuss boring things and protests they're going to pretend they don't want you to go to, but are secretly encouraging it."
Gandalf was about to reply when one of the doors on the other side of the room slid open, making them both look surprised when instead of Thranduil or Elrond like they had been expecting, Legolas came in, looking wild eyed.
"Ada said you were coming over with Frodo and Gandalf. I thought it might be a good idea to rescue you before he showed up."
Bilbo sat up, pulling Frodo with him so he could struggle to his feet from the odd position, glancing back at the disapproving look Gandalf shot his with a smile, "I've been saved. Me and Frodo and Legolas are going to check out the gardens. Maybe raid the kitchen. Love you, see you later!"
They were out the door with Legolas before Gandalf could even think of a good protest.
Actually, he wished he could join them.
***
"I like it here."
Legolas gave Bilbo a horrified look and glanced around, wondering if someone was giving out free cash or something, because he could not see the appeal. "What?"
"Here. In the gardens."
"Oh! Oh, yeah. I like the gardens too."
Bilbo snickered at Legolas' flustered look and shook his head, setting Frodo down on the soft grass and kneeling next to him. "Frodo, stay where me and Legolas can see you. No running off, if you want to play with those kids over there, make sure they're not doing anything Uncle Bilbo won't like. Don't pick any flowers either, they're not cut like the ones in my shop. Also, try and keep clean. I know this is a hard and foreign concept to you, but being clean is that thing that happens after bath time, not before it. Be a good boy."
Frodo pretended to listen carefully to his uncle, but the bumblebees were out and they just looked so pretty. He wanted to follow them.
Bilbo sighed at Frodo's distractedness and gave up for now, leaning in to press a kiss to Frodo's cheek with a smile. "Go play."
He stood up with a dramatic sigh and looked up at Legolas. "They grow up so fast."
"It's been one year since you got him."
"Yeah, but he's no longer this grumpy little sullen thing that clings to literally everything. It's progress, but progress means change. Ew."
Legolas snickered a little and watched Frodo looking closely at a flower. "Is he looking at a bumblebee?"
"Frodo, don't touch the bees. Look with your eyes, not your fingers!"
Frodo gave them both a glare and went back to his bee watching.
"Where are all these bees coming from anyways?"
"We have hives on the other side of those trees over there. We have so many damn people here, they all agreed on hives. Though, we have to be extra careful with caring for them. Even man made hives can fall to pesticides and bad care. Seems like every other week someone here is trying to get a house meeting going on the bee issue."
"Well, farmers are killing them with all that gunk they spray over everything. I agree with their reasoning, bugs eat all the food, and now you have no food, but isn't there another way to keep food bug free? Either way, bees are great. Fuzzy little balls of honey and happiness. Love the bees."
"Wow. Never heard them explained like that. I do love the bees, but I also understand that their stings hurt like fuck and would like to keep a safe distance, thanks."
Bilbo snickered and they stopped walking at a nice wide patch of grass, Bilbo spreading out a blanket over the empty area with a smile. "So, if you're afraid of a little sting, then you're probably not going to let Gimli tattoo any tramp stamps on you any time soon."
Legolas made a grossed out face, "No tramp stamps. I'm going to tattoo my dying will on my back. It's going to say, 'No matter who did it, blame it on Bilbo Baggins' and that is more than worth the pain. Besides, there's a difference between getting a bee sting, and willing letting someone drive needles into your body for the sake of art. I'm allergic to bees."
Bilbo sat down on the blanket and pulled the basket they'd brought out with them. "Didn't you say that Gimli was staying over for the weekend?"
"Yeah, but then he met Galadriel, and became enamored with her clothing line, and is playing personal assistant to her for a bit. I think this is his first non-sexual girl crush. It's adorable."
Bilbo snickered, "Really? She makes clothes?"
"Yeah. She's got a dress line out and everything. I think he's intrigued by it because it's all hand done. He won't admit it, but hand crafted things totally get his attention if they're well made."
"That's awesome. So, he's learning the art of the trade?"
"Nah, I think he's sketching everything in sight for now. He's a good artist. Not as good as Thorin obviously, but I think someone would have to be pretty high level artist to be better than Thorin."
"Yeah. Last week he was teaching Frodo his to draw a person in accurate proportions and dimensions, and for the life of me, I had no idea how he was drawing like that. Frodo seems to be picking it up though. That's good."
"He's little. Little ones pick up things faster."
"Are you calling me old?"
"Very."
"Okay."
***
"Come here littlun! You need lunch."
Frodo looked up from his observation of a pill bug with a slight grumble and toddled over to the blanket Legolas and Bilbo were lounging on, making himself right at home in Bilbo's lap.
It was close to nap time too.
Bilbo pulled the basket over and pulled out a couple of juice boxes with a raised eyebrow, "Are we all four now?"
Legolas took one of them from his with a grin and a nod, "Yeah."
"Okay." He looked through it, finding half made sandwiches and some tomatoes. He raised an eyebrow at the odd selection and Legolas shrugged.
"I don't like putting the tomatoes on until I'm about to eat it, because then either the cheese or the bread gets soggy and gross."
"Any room for a fourth?"
They both looked up to see Gimli coming towards them, trying to organize his pencils and sketch book as he went with a flustered look about him.
"Of course."
Gimli smiled at Bilbo and gratefully sunk down next to Legolas, pressing a quick kiss to the blondes head as he went and stealing his juice box. Legolas just turned a little red and let him with his own smile.
Bilbo just smiled at them and moved to make Frodo a sandwich before the boy could fuss anymore.
***
"Is he asleep?"
Bilbo looked down at the warm bundle in his arms and smiled, nodding at Gimli's question quietly. "Yeah, hand me the blanket please?"
Gimli passed over the blanket they'd folded back up and stopped next to Legolas while they watched him open it back up, completely covering Frodo's body with it.
"Why, though?"
"Muffles sound, keeps light out. There is nothing worse in this world than a cranky little boy who's had his nap interrupted."
"That does sound terrifying."
***
"What are you-"
"Shhh! He's sleeping!" Bilbo whispered in a loud voice, trying not to wake the child in his arms. Though, honestly, he was mostly hoping that telling them Frodo was sleeping would just get them to stop trying to talk to him at all.
It did.
***
"What exactly are you doing?"
"What does it look like?"
"Um, looking at pre-schools. Frodo still has nearly six months before he goes."
Bilbo frowned up at Thorin and kicked him lightly in the leg, "Yes, but if we want him to get into a good one, we have to look early. Actually, we should have been looking last year."
Thorin frowned and sat down next to Bilbo on the couch, "I did not know parents needed to do that. Dis just sends Fili and Kili to the elementary school in the neighborhood."
"Yeah, but, it's public."
"Oh, so now you're pulling the prissy 'private school' superiority rouse, right?"
"No, I'm pulling the 'I don't want children to make fun of my child for having no parents and two uncles, and tease and bully him for it' rouse."
"Oh... I know someone that can help. He actually helps finance in a lot of different private schools. He's Dwalin's brother."
"You think he might know the best one to try to get Frodo into?"
"Probably."
***
"Ew. That is disgusting."
Bilbo looked over Legolas's shoulder at the phone in his hand, cringing at the image that he was looking at. "What is that?"
"Tarantula bite. Taurial sent me this, said her friend got bit on the Mirkwood gounds."
"There are tarantula's in Mirkwood?"
Legolas closed out of the picture and nodded, "Yeah. It's the woods around it, apparently, it's like a breeding ground for giant spiders. We've been trying to eradicate them for a while now, but so far with minimal results. Got a lot of exterminators going out for help, so far, even they're not doing so good. My back yard is turning into Australia."
Bilbo snorted, "That sounds awful. You think the exterminators are getting anywhere?"
Legolas shrugged, "No idea. At this point, I think we'd have to burn the whole place down just to rid them at all. That would never happen though. Guess we're stuck like this for a while."
Bilbo just hummed in thought.
***
"Thorin Oakenshield, get your butt in here right now! We have a meeting to get to!"
Thorin stumbled out of the hallway into the kitchen, still pulling his hair back into a pony tail and looking tired. "Yes, I know we do, you've been talking about it for a few days now."
Bilbo huffed, "Yes, well, if you didn't forget things so easily, I wouldn't have to remind you constantly. Besides, our baby boy is probably going to be getting into this pre-school, and I want everything to go well."
Thorin grabbed a bottle of orange juice out of the fridge before shrugging, "What's to go wrong? If they like us, they like us. If they don't, their loss."
Bilbo sighed and rolled his eyes, "Yes, well, public school sucks for a kid of Frodo's background, I just want to give him as much ease as possible."
Thorin's eyes were curious at that. He had the suspicious feeling that wasn't entirely it. "You had good parents right? I mean, I always assumed you did, because you talk about missing them all the time."
Bilbo paused before shaking his head a little and going back to tying Frodo's shoes for him. "Like how you say you miss your grandfather, even though he was verbally abusive and ran away in the end? Like, that kind of miss, or how I miss Lobelia when she's decided to focus her nagging on someone else for the while?"
Thorin smiled sadly, "He may have been abusive, but he was also senile. He said some awful things, but he never meant them. I once asked him why he did it, and he said it'd make him dying go better if everyone hated him beforehand."
"That's, awful."
"Yeah. No, do you love your parents like how you miss Gandalf when he's been out of town for several months, leaving Lobelia with us?"
Bilbo snickered a little before leading Frodo and Thorin out the front door to the car, "Hmm, more like I miss them like you miss a stuffed animal you never had a nightmare with until they disappeared."
Thorin took over strapping the lad in while Bilbo double checked that they had everything. "That's interesting."
Bilbo got into the passenger seat and waited for Thorin to start the car, "Why does it matter how I miss them?"
Thorin paused, "To be honest? Me and Dis and Ferin had an interesting childhood. Our parents were good people, but shitty parents. Some people have abusive parents, ours kept leaving us with someone else and running off to do something different. Yet we all still love them. You're trying your hardest to make sure that Frodo has everything he could need or want right now, and you're not making anyone else raise him. I'm not going to say that he'll always be happy and never have mental problems, because I can't know that for sure, but, even if you tried a little less, he'll always know you love him."
Bilbo was quiet for a minute, watching trees go by out the window, "That was an awful comparison. Your parents were awful, you just said so. Why do you love them?"
Thorin shrugged, "Because even if they did have a slight neglectful streak, it was the little things. They didn't try their hardest to get us into private schools, but they always remembered I hated suckers and loved honey sticks. They remembered that Ferin was in love with the girl across the street, but never tried to embarrass him about it. They remembered Dis hated chicken the majority of the time, but she loved cooking it anyways.
"It's not the best of comparisons, because you are trying, and you don't just know him, but you do know him. You know every word to his favorite bedtime story and the exact number of minutes he'll be likely to pay attention to one thing before getting bored. You know him, you don't just have aspirations for him. I think the reason I still love my parents, is because, no matter how much they missed, they never asked too much of me. They were perfectly fine when I told them I got bad grades, or didn't think I could go to school that day, they encouraged me to do my best, but never got mad when I didn't quite reach."
Bilbo turned back to him, looking suspiciously like he was blinking back tears. "Okay, maybe they were kind of good parents. If Frodo doesn't get in, I'll find somewhere he can go without putting so much pressure on him."
Thorin smiled at his boyfriend and pulled into the parking lot.
***
"Mr. Denethorson?"
The man sitting behind the desk looked up with a bright smile at the sound of the parents, getting even brighter if possible when he saw the tiny boy in the dark haired man's arms.
He stood up to shake their hands and quietly greet the shy boy. "Call me Boromir, please. Denethorson is such a mouthful. Oh, you must be little Frodo, huh?"
Frodo looked out at him with wide eyes, left thumb firmly lodged in his mouth.
They were working on that. At least the boy hadn't kicked up a fuss about not being allowed his paci today.
"Hmm, shy little thing isn't he."
Bilbo subtly sent Thorin a worried look, but the older man just smiled placatingly at him and urged him into one of the seats Boromir gestured them to. Bilbo tried to remember what Thorin had said in the car and not to seem like he was trying too hard.
Oh this was going to be fun.
***
"How's Dwalin's arm?"
Thorin grinned and turned set down his tattoo gun before swivling to the front of the store. "It's healed now. Still needs a month or two before it's no longer too sensitive to fix that gold coin tattoo."
Dis grinned and walked into the room, a half sleeping Kili resting on her shoulder while she lead a dead-on-his-feet Fili into the room by one hand.
"Ugh, he must hate that."
"He does. But Smaug is with Mithrandir now, and he seems to be able to keep the damn beast in line somewhat. And I thought Smeagol was a terror."
He opened his arms and accepted Kili into his lap, smiling down at the warm bundle of seven year old onto his lap.
Dis flopped into the chair next to Thorin and they both watched Fili let out a loud yawn and wander off to the back room, probably looking for something to eat to wake up.
Dis turned to her brother and grinned, "So I heard, from a normally quiet little someone," that ruled out Fili and Kili, "that silly ring you got Bilbo is causing a fuss again."
Throin groaned. Yes, Frodo hardly ever talked, but as soon as you asked him about certain things (Sam, Smeagol, why Uncle Thorin has red paint in his hair) he never seemed to shut up. "That damn ring. I'm thinking of mounting it to Smeagol's collar and just letting him have off with it. He nearly swallowed it again, and I am not going through that a second time."
Dis shrugged, "I thought Bilbo really liked the thing though?"
Thorin nodded and buried his face in Kili's hair, "Yeah. Pretty much the only thing keeping me at this point."
Dis cringed, "That's a very bad idea then. Try and find something for Smeagol to obsess over otherwise, maybe?"
Thorin shrugged and huffed out a laugh when Kili let out a small snore against his clavicle, "When did you wake those two?"
"Early. I needed to make an appointment and didn't have enough time to drop them off here first."
Thorin snorted and stood up with his nephew, "I'm going to put him in the back until he feels more alive."
"Probably a good idea."