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Nurmengard was as unsettling as Albus remembered. Each step across the stone floor resounded with never-ending echoes, no matter how softly he walked. The cold drained his determination and replaced it with doubt. The Lumos on his wand was barely enough to fight away the darkness that surrounded him.
But in the end, he was fifty years late already. And there was not much time left. He had come to Nurmengard that night, to its inhabitant, for a reason. Three reasons, actually.
He crept forward to the rhythm of his drumming heart, until he reached his destination.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?”
The years had not been kind to Gellert. It pained Albus to see his... whatever-they-were, brought down to such lows. The man was balding, teeth were missing, and it looked like he had survived on willpower in absence of food and water. His eyes were sunken, but still the same bright blue that had once brought Albus to his knees in worship.
And Gellert’s smile was the same as always. So charming that Albus had to look away from it. He did not trust himself to stay sane if he kept looking. “It’s been many years since we were able to take pleasure in each other’s company, Gellert.”
“Is that so?” Gellert found mirth in the interaction, and it was taking years off his face. “It’s been so many years that I have forgotten anything but the pleasure we had. But if my company pains you so, then why have you come?”
And that was the question. One Albus was not sure he could answer. He conjured a chair to sit on, taking his time to get as comfortable as it was possible to get in the draughty corridors looking through the bars of a jail cell. “I hear you have been asking for me.”
“For shy of twenty-three years now.” Gellert said. He dragged a small stool to the middle of the room and sat himself on it. “What made you change your mind?”
Albus shook his head. He needed to hear his soulmate out. That was his first reason for coming and he would not be derailed. “What did you want to say to me?”
Gellert looked at Albus, calculating and reading him like only Gellert could. Albus would much rather be talking objectively about magical theory than dealing with all these conflicting feelings. Albus would ask about the experiments and knowledge that Gellert had gathered. Not all of it had been terrible. Some of it had been beauty and elegance and if they would start talking they would be back in their teenage years, scheming on how to overtake the world with their magical brilliance.
Across the street was the prettiest boy Albus had ever seen, distracting a muggle as he waved his wand around and conjured money out of thin air. It was supposed to be impossible, and Albus had no other thought on his mind than finding out exactly how he had accomplished it. As soon as the muggle was away, he asked his question with the speed of a Boggart exploding out of a cupboard. “How are you violating Gamp’s Fourth Exception?”
The boy looked more shocked than made sense in the situation. And then he smiled and he spoke the words that would change Albus’ life forever.
Albus could not allow himself the sentiment. The conversation about magical theory would be easy, even if all the memories resurfacing would not be. And it would let Albus stay away from the subjects he desperately wanted to avoid. But part of Gellert would know, already, what was truly going on with Albus. They had never needed many words between them. Not when it came to the very core of themselves.
They had spent weeks debating their philosophies and ideals, before reaching any consensus. But their first kiss had been quick and spontaneous. Gellert had brushed the hair out of his eyes while reading, and Albus had wanted nothing more than to be kissed. And Gellert had seen that need as clearly as if it had been spoken. He had reached forward and pressed their lips together. And for all their magical abilities, Albus had never felt anything more powerful.
“I’ve always wondered, did you understand my anger at you?” Gellert asked. “Did you understand why it took me thirty years before I started asking for you?”
“No. Someone had to stop you.”
“But did it have to be you?” Gellert’s face fell, like the old hurt had left a scar on him.
“It could only have been me.” Albus raised the hem of his robes a few inches. Enough to make his point. His thick woollen socks were covering the mark for the rest of the world, but they both knew exactly where it was. “Our destinies have always been intertwined.”
“And it was precisely why I was so angry. You were supposed to stay with me. If anyone could have understood what I was doing, it was you, my soulmate.”
Albus took a deep breath, sitting straight. Perhaps coming had been a mistake after all. Because Albus did understand Gellert’s intentions better than anyone. And if he let Gellert make him swim in the waters of his arguments, he would drown in them.
“Or so I thought. Would it surprise you to know that I regret what I have done?”
Albus had to blink at that. “You what?”
“For so many years I cursed the heavens for giving me a broken soulmate. I never realised until it was too late that you were my last chance of redemption. Letting you leave was the final mistake before I became irredeemable. I was the one who was broken. I was the one who failed you.”
“No.” Albus said.
Gellert faltered over his next words. Whatever speech he had prepared, Albus had disrupted it. “No?”
“I have given this much thought over the years. Why we were marked. I must believe it all had a reason. That neither of us did anything to upset our destinies. We were meant to love each other and be together and lose each other dramatically. It was never meant to last longer than those two months we had.”
“But if I hadn’t…”
“You did far worse things than break my heart. If you care for me at all, you’ll spare your remorse for the people who are more entitled to it.”
Gellert let his face fall into his hands. “I know that. I’ve killed people. I’ve done unspeakable things in the name of a cause that has been forgotten. I so desperately wanted to make the world a better place, but the world would have been better off without me in it.”
“Yes.” Albus said. Albus had been the one getting letters every week begging him to step in. Been the one to read the reports and learn of the atrocities that had been committed. “The world would have been.”
“I thought, at the very least, someone might pick up my mantle. Not my methods, but the ideas. For all that I had been wrong in execution, there were fundamental truths in my arguments. In our arguments. Instead, I’ve seen papers entertaining my ideas be shut down because they’re too much like mine. I’ve poisoned the well. The only person I seem to have inspired is your Dark Lord.”
Albus sighed. “I do not know the greater plan. If there even is one. You’ve done horrible things and as glad as I am that you’ve realised this, it does not change what happened. The world would have been better without you in it.”
“How am I supposed to hold on, knowing this?”
“You were not sentenced to death. You were sentenced to imprisonment. To think about your crimes, as you have been. If you truly wish to atone, suffer as intended, for as long as you can hold on.”
Gellert nodded.
“And know that the world would have been better without you in it. But, as selfish as it is to admit, I would not have been.”
“There would have been another to take my place.”
“No. Because just as there could have been no one else but me bonded to your soul, nobody but you could have been to mine.”
Gellert looked up, exasperation mixed with a grin. “Are you trying to lure me into a theoretical debate on soul magic?”
Albus’ heart skipped a beat. He did not feel 115 years old. He felt like an eighteen-year-old boy, challenged to the limits of his intellect for the first time in his life, when they were not testing the limits of their physical endurance. The cold of the castle was forgotten, as he instinctually knew Gellert would be able to keep him warm in his embrace, like they had spent many nights in poorly insulated barns or under the light of stars, where heating charms would not last long enough for the amount of time they wanted to stay joined.
He remembered the soft kisses on his ankle, like Gellart was worshipping the very existence of the soul mark. Gellert would whisper those words again and again and Albus could never tell whether it was because Gellert knew how much it affected Albus, or if he was just teasing because it was impossible for Albus to return the gesture.
“…your beauty has poisoned my thoughts with delirious conceptions of love…”
Albus swallowed and wondered if he could be forgiven for wanting one more night where they could be together and everything could be simple. Where he could be held and where he could be warmed by more than his socks.
But that was not to be.
Gellert sighed. “No matter what you say, my biggest regret is that I chose a life without you. That I sacrificed the happiness we could have had together.”
“It was never in the cards.” Albus said. “But how nice it would be, if it had been.”
Gellert’s eyes sparkled, and in them Albus could see the life they could have had. He had to wipe away the moisture from his eyes. Gellert’s expression fell as soon as he saw the black mark on Albus’ hand. “How much longer do you have?”
Albus stared at it. “A year at most.” He brought his hand down. The curse was painful and it was spreading. Voldemort had designed a slow end for him. “Probably less.”
“You’re not supposed to be the first one to die. Not while I’m trapped and cannot avenge you.” He stared at the hand. “What did he use to tempt you?”
Because of course Gellert immediately knew. “The Resurrection Stone.”
“Ah.” Gellert said. He fought hard to contain his own eagerness. “That would do it.”
“I researched the curse extensively, but there is little to be found of the Dark Magic that the Ministry has not confiscated. Do you know of a cure?”
“There is none.” Gellert said.
Albus nodded. He has suspected as much, but he had to be sure. His second reason for coming to the tower.
“Did you see your sister?”
“I did.” Albus said, frowning. “She forgives us.”
“Just because you wanted her to blame you, does not mean she really does.”
“It’s better this way. Less temptation for me to use it when the sister it conjures is more willing to forgive than the one I imagined. And before you ask, I’ve hidden it well enough that nobody else will be able to find it.”
“For all my searching, it’s ironic that you’re the one who ended up with all of the Deathly Hallows.”
“It’s miraculous what patience can do for a man.”
Gellert chuckled, wincing in pain at the movement of his body. “It will have to rest soon, I’m afraid. My body isn’t what it used to be. And I know there’s another reason you came here tonight.”
Only one remained. “I am going to set in motion my final plot soon. The final gambit to defeat my greatest enemy. Is there anything you can See?”
“You know that’s not how it works.”
“Please try.”
“You must truly be desperate if you’re resorting to divination. I thought that was beneath you.” Gellert sighed deeply, before closing his eyes. He lifted his head up, losing himself in concentration. Until finally he lowered his head again. “I’m not the first seer you’ve asked. I can sense the meddling of time.”
“You’re the strongest.”
“You are planning to give a book to the brightest witch of the new generation, a snitch to your hero that lived. To the third, the loyal lion, you must give your Deluminator.”
“Whatever for?”
“To find the light, I imagine. There are still many paths that can be walked and only so much that we can See before it happens. Whether your Dark Lord will be defeated, will be up to the little hero and his friends.”
Albus nodded. He rose. “I should go.”
“You still haven’t done what you came here for.”
“I have.” Albus said, shaking his head. “I had three reasons for coming.”
“Three excuses.” Gellert said. “And one true reason.”
Albus rubbed his eyes. “You’ve always known me better than I even know myself. Tell me then. Why did I really come here?”
“It’s simple. You wanted to come to say goodbye.”
Albus froze. Was that why he had come? It was strange how calm Gellert was about the fact, when Albus would be angry in his shoes. “And you’re okay with this?”
“Of course. It’s only natural you wanted to see me one last time.”
“After all these years avoiding this conversation, I only change my mind now that it’s my own end that is nearing. Surely you can’t be so selfless to think that would be okay for me to do.”
“To see your face again, to be poisoned once more by its beauty, it is worth it. No matter what the reason is.”
Albus could not help but smile. His soul mate had done monstrous things. But how dangerously easy to forget. Or perhaps, just for a few moments, to pretend otherwise. “Goodbye, Gellert. I will miss you. I hope the world beyond is kinder to our souls than this world was.”
“Goodbye, Albus. Until we meet again in what lies beyond.”
Albus stared at Gellert, at the man that was his other half. His cautionary tale, his nemesis, the manipulator and sweet talker. His soulmate.
The sun was slowly rising, bringing light into the castle from a nearby window. They had run out of time. Albus moved away from the cell. He had his plans to make. Affairs to attend to. His own end to orchestrate. But he would do it with a lighter heart. And with something to look forward to, beyond the end.